Dear Kate,
I know that you remember when you were shot, I heard you say you remember every second of it. I was behind the glass in the interrogation room. At first I didn't know what to think, and then it's all I could think about. I know you, I know you probably kept this to yourself to protect yourself but the hurt of this to me is great, you've lied to me Kate, to my face. You told me that you didn't remember any of it at the hospital, everything we've been through together Kate; I thought I had at least earnt the right to not be lied to. I'm sorry, but I have to leave, I don't know for how long but I don't think I can ever come back to the precinct and face you. Maybe the reason why you lied was because you don't love me back and didn't want to hurt me, but now it all seems so hopeless. You know how much I love you, obviously you heard me the first time. I guess I got so caught up in you and this precinct that I veered from my path, like Alexis said, I have to stop pretending to be a cop because I will only get hurt and she was right. Which means that I have to stop playing cop. Hey, look on the bright side; you finally get what you've always wanted. Me gone, forever. You once asked me why I kept coming back and why I always stayed, It's because it was no longer about the books, I had enough research to do 50 books a long time ago, I kept coming back because I couldn't think about not seeing you every day because I love you so much. I realise now that I was just dreaming, I honestly thought that one day we could be together, when you were ready. Now I understand that it was never an option and I was chasing nothing. I really want you to know that I also stayed as a friend, to help you with your mother's case and help you get through it. I know that leaving is going to be hard and that there was no way I could say this to your face, so I am leaving this letter. Now that I'm gone, maybe you can find someone, someone to love. I want that for you, even if I can't be that guy myself, even though I want to be that guy so much. Know that I will always love you, even though I'm leaving, you will be with me,
Always,
Richard Alexander Rodgers