The Orchard
Reaching Arl Eamon's castle, nestled on top on the cliff was comforting, especially to Alistair. To him, seeing the castle in the distance made him feel as if he was coming home. Perhaps he was in a sense; he spent the first ten years of his life there. Or maybe it was those memories of being covered in mud and getting in trouble with the knights there with mischief. He wasn't sure and he didn't expect his companions' to understand his feelings regarding the place.
They had been coming from the Circle of Magi - Elissa has insisted that they had to stop to check on Connor for Isolde's sake, the Maker know why she even bothered listening to that woman - to take a brief break and to tell the Arl of the latest events. Alistair suspected that it had something to do with her growing concern for Wynne and her latest fainting episodes, which so far had been quite the mystery to him.
Besides Elissa's growing excuses and her new found distance - maybe dislike? - towards him, he was happy to be back in Redcliff. It was home, smelly lake and all to him. And it didn't matter what anyone else said. Well, maybe Elissa, but that was another matter entirely.
From where he stood, behind everyone else, Alistair watched Elissa walk. She wasn't exactly tall - she only came up to his chest - and she kept her black hair tied up with a red ribbon. He noticed that Elissa favored breaches and a blouse and kept her cloak of red loose around her shoulders. Her blades were held with a tight belt looped around her waist.
Alistair sighed. Those boyish clothes of hers..
Leliana looked at him, orange hair swirling around her face. "You're watching her again, no? I have seen that you watch her often. You should say something before Zev does. I would not want to see you hurt over her," her Orlesian accent was thick made her voice musical.
"What? No, Leliana. It's not that. I..." His face began to color as she cut him off.
"Alistair, you cannot fool me. We have all noticed. Except Elissa, probably. You need to speak to her before Zevran does. He would not be good for her."
Alistair looked away, abashed. Catching Morrigan's eye briefly made him turn back to Leliana. "Come on Alistair, Leliana has a point," Wynne chimed in, her grandmotherly voice seeming all knowing, "Elissa wouldn't turn you away. She may give Zevran those eyes, but I believe she would rather be giving them to you."
Turning from a light pink to a darker shade, Alistair cast his eyes down and mumbled, "I doubt it, she's been avoiding me for awhile."
-xox-
When Alistair stayed in the castle, he was always placed in the same room that was his as a boy. It still had the faint smells that he associated with his mother, which was soap and lilacs, which weren't probably accurate. He needed something to as a boy, think of her by. He remembered daydreaming about what she might've been like and who she was. Truthfully, he had no idea, but it made him happy.
The same tapestries still hung in their rightful places and the toy chest still remained. The last time he stayed here he had spent all night messing with the toy horses and men, smiling like a fool to himself. When morning came, and Elissa had come to wake him, he felt rightfully the fool when she spotted the toys littered across the floor. She had a hard time keeping a straight face and treating him like the man he should've been. He assumed later that she had been the reason behind everyone mocking - especially Zevran and Morrigan, it seemed like - him later, which they had thought he hadn't noticed. But he saw all of it. Oh, little Alistair still plays with dolls. How cute is that, Elissa?
-xox-
Returning back to where he was now, Alistair realized he'd been standing outside his chamber door for quite some time, hand tight around the knob. He hastily glanced around. Zevran strolled past him, giving him the usual one eyebrow up look, which he had also associated with a mocking tone. He forced himself inside before he had to put up with that damn Antivan accent he had come to hate.
Locking the door behind him, Alistair wanted to cry.
-xox-
Three weeks ago, the same day he had noticed that Elissa had started avoiding him, he realized that her and Zevran were both becoming more friendly. The assassin had been traveling with them perhaps a week or so at the time. He recalled bitterly that she had begged him to trust her, trust that the elf sent to kill them by Teryn Loghain, to trust him enough not to kill them. She had begged, tears in her eyes, not to slaughter him like the dog he was. He caved in and felt nothing but regret. It had taken some time for him to not hate Elissa for making him not kill the elf like he should've.
Alistair hated the way Zevran sauntered around the camp every night, going up to both Elissa and Leliana and trying to seduce the two of them. He was sure the elf would to it to him too if he didn't give him harsh looks and was half way decent to him. Zevran was slimy and that was enough to put him on edge.
The way Elissa acted around Zevran was enough to anger him. When Elissa practically threw herself at him every night and how he disregarded her like a cheap whore made him want to scream at her. There were others that would treat her better. Why not me, Elissa? I would love you if you would let me.
-xox-
Spending time alone in Eamon's orchard's reminded Elissa of Highever. The tall apple trees were much like the one's she spent her childhood climbing and playing in with Fergus. Even, exact rows of the towering trees and the soft grass between her toes almost made her think she was back in Highever.
That morning she had slipped out to spend much needed alone time in them. She sighed. Being troubled by everyone's problems left her with no time to think on hers. Listening to Leliana complaining about shoes, Sten about the Qun, and whatever else her companions' had to say was taxing enough. Elissa wanted to complain about missing Highever, her family and especially about Zevran and Alistair and their new found rivalry.
Walking under the trees made her forget. Forget about the two men who wanted her; the one who thought he had her and the other... Oh, Alistair...
The trees were starting to feel not so great anymore. She had slipped out to avoid Zevran for some time. It was tough dealing with Zevran demoralizing comments about the other warden. She honestly liked Alistair but the more time she was around him the more Zevran would complain. What is he? Jealous of Alistair? Zevran and are only friends as far as I'm aware.
Angrily, Elissa untied her hair and pulled herself up onto the lowest branch and began to climb. Feeling the smooth wood beneath her hands, and her toes balancing on the thick branches was relaxing. Part way up the tree, she settled on a thick enough branch to support herself and pulled an apple from the tree.
Until she noticed the other warden who was troubling her thoughts, Elissa was relaxed. She tensed seeing Alistair and hoped she was invisible.
-xox-
According to Leliana, being invisible only happened at night when being shrouded in the shadows. Being in the daylight, up in a tree and being wrapped in a red cloak did not make Elissa as invisible as she had hoped. She knew that Alistair had spotted her and then she hoped he wouldn't take advantage of her being alone and call her out on her behavior as of late. She knew ignoring him to get Zevran to be quiet wasn't right, but she did it anyway. Elissa knew she was in the wrong and she didn't want to admit it.
Looking down, she saw that Alistair had sat down at the base of the tree, not looking at her, but around them. The thick green leaves left a shadowy pattern all over the other warden, much like a monochromatic kaleidoscope. It was pretty.
Alistair looked up to see Elissa staring down back at him. She gulped as he opened his mouth.
-xox-
When Elissa was little, her mother had always told that she was going to marry some nice guy, have some kids and it'd be like a fairytale. The first time she was told that, she immediately rebelled; she refused to wear dresses, begged her dad to let her play with swords just like Fergus and tried her best to pretend that wasn't going to happen to her.
On Elissa's tenth birthday, her mother tried again and made her wear dresses and attend the parties that were thrown for Fergus so he could find a wife. Angrily, she compiled and pretended to be a good little girl. After each party she vowed to never wear another dress. By the time she was fifteen she cut off all of her hair - much to her mother's horror - and swore to never act like a proper lady again. That had only lasted a month before the switch that was taken to her backside made her unable to sit comfortably for a long time.
Her father, on the other hand encouraged her to ride horses, fight with the knights at the castle and act like a boy. He had even bought her a Mabari which set her even further into her boyish ways.
Three days after Elissa arrived at Ostagar she regretted not being able to apologize to her mother for the way she acted.
-xox-
"Elissa, why have you been avoiding me? What did I do wrong?" Those words hit her like a stone. She jumped down from the tree and left. Alistair watched her red cloak swirl behind her, leaving him feeling heartbroken again.
-xox-
That night, sitting on the edge of Zevran's bed, she gave him the strongest lecture she could. Zevran tried soothing her with the smoothest words and gestures he knew. No, my little bird, you've got it wrong. I never said anything bad about Alistair. The was a moment where he tried grabbing her hand and she swatted him away. He eased back away from her and fought back as hard as he could've until she stood up and slammed the door behind her. Perhaps Leliana wasn't too busy for him that night...
-xox-
Alistair watched Elissa leave Zevran's room. His heart dropped to his feet. Looking away from her, he wondered sadly about why she'd been in there. He glanced back to see her standing next to him. Her face looked twisted with conflicted emotions and her eyes looked tearful. "I'm sorry, Alistair." Before he could reply Elissa Cousland was running down the hall. He smiled.
Alistair went to sleep with more hope in his heart than he had in a long time. When he woke, sitting at the table with his companions before they left Redcliff he happened to noticed that Zevran hadn't said a word all morning and a new bruise had settled itself underneath his eye. Leliana couldn't help but try and hide her smirk as she ate.
-xox-
After leaving Redcliff the next few days everyone seemed to be more quiet than usual. It seemed that normally everyone was chatting with each other but for the past day or so, it had been silent. Even the camp at night had been quiet, except the Mabari barking.
Alistair didn't mind the newfound quiet. It was peaceful enough for him and he didn't have to try sleeping through anymore loud conversations for those few days.
But, that didn't mean the nightmares didn't stop. When he woke late at night from a tough one that left him drenched in sweat, he found Elissa sitting alone by the fire. Leaving his tent, he sat next to her. She looked up, the shadows dancing in her face. Embarrassed, he placed a rose on to her lap and choked out, "I... found it in... it doesn't matter, it's for you."
With a smile on her face, she placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Alistair, it's beautiful."