James Kirk looked at the empty glass before him and wanted nothing else but another drink so he could forget what was to come. He knew there really was not enough of anything that could make him forget the past. He had been mildly numbed through the hearings and then the summation of the accident. Numbed enough and coherent enough to give clear and articulate answers when asked questions and to follow the flow of the testimonies but it had been a blur. It was his decision, and his decision alone, on the replacements that he had to make that was more than he felt he could face unless he was totally numbed. He had been told, and knew, it was a very rare, and very great honor for any fleet Captain to be given the opportunity of selecting both his new First Officer and his new Science Officer but all he felt was a great hollowness, a devastating aloneness. There was a deep emptiness in him that reached deeper into his being than anything ever had, except for the love, trust, loyalty, and friendship he had had.
After the hearings and the summation they had been taken to a small room to wait to be beamed back to the Enterprise for the night. The young officer who escorted them to the room and reminded Kirk of the honor he was being given, how, in the history of Starfleet, this was only the second time it had happened, and how it had been difficult for the higher echelon to find officers of a high enough caliber to replace his former First Office . The others knew how he had almost told the young man just what he could do with the honor. He was sure if McCoy and the other bridge crew had not been there, had not hurried the young man out, that he would have said, and possibly done things he would have regretted. After the young man had left Kirk had flung the last glass against the door as it closed and Uhura had quickly cleaned it up without comment.
He had heard the voices of the officials but had stopped listening to the words as they meant nothing. It was all about what he already knew. Rules and regulations and his career. It was all about the technological advancement and the proof of the value of more advanced computerization in Starfleet. It was about the risks involved in Starfleet. It was nothing but a glorification of facts they all already knew while avoiding the real fact of the cost of such advancement.
The only fact that mattered at all was that Spock and Officer Darren Harris had been trialing a new shuttle craft and something unexpected had happened to it over the northern plains region of Gnor and only wreckage with evidence that both men had bled there had been found by drones before the wind storms set in and obliterated all other signs of the two men who had died there. Wreckage and blood indicated both aboard had died. No bodies were found but sufficient human and Vulcan blood samples had been taken to make positive identification and, from the images of the site, it was obvious that they would have bled to death. From the images it was clear that neither could have survived the crash. There was also clear evidence of a large pack of the larger carnivores known to roam the area having been at the site.
Part of his mind had been aware of what was being said, but he was still so lost and alone. Most of his mind was reliving the last few days. There had to be a reason, and an explanation there.
Over and over in his mind he kept hearing those words in that baritone voice, "Am encountering unusual navigational computer difficulties." and then that last word, "Jim." before even the static vanished. How excited Spock had been to be selected to trial the latest shuttle, to see how its revolutionary computer system worked. So many others had been just as interested in being the first to pilot and test the shuttle. The testing of the computer system aboard had been offered to Spock who had been keen to see the advances made and Darren Harris had been offered the role as pilot.
Officer Harris was second only to Sulu in piloting a craft but as Sulu had a slight sinus problem he was replaced by Harris. And if losing Spock and Harris were not bad enough Sulu had been briefly confined to quarters for trying to steal another shuttle to go search for them after the official search had been call off.
When he had gone to visit Sulu, the helmsman had looked at him almost defiantly, "Darren would not just quit, Sir. He is a very good pilot, none can equal him when it comes to small craft of any type, but his special field is survival. He would not just quit, Sir. He would have found a way, or died trying to find a way for both of them. They found no bodies, only blood. He would not just quit and he most definitely would not leave Mister Spock or his body. No matter what the regulations say he would not leave Mister Spock. They are out there, Sir. He would fight, he would find a way."
There had been so much certainty and conviction in his younger officer's eyes that instead of saying what he felt he should say, what followed procedures, Kirk just put a hand on the man's shoulder, gave it a squeeze, and nodded. Oddly it was reassuring to see that look and to feel the other officer place his hand on top of his own. "At least they are," he stopped and closed his eyes as again he had that strange sensation he could not define then opened his eyes and half-smiled back at the officer, "together."
"They are out there, Sir. They are together out there. Darren would not leave Mister Spock." Kirk had just nodded and left. He knew only too well what it was like to be that certain about a friend but this time, this time he had heard that broadcast, had seen the reality in the display of the crash site. Sulu had been partly right, they were out there.
He felt a bit of a coward as he could not even admit to one of his officers, an officer who knew about how close he and Spock had become, that he had occasionally felt as though Spock was right by him, right in his head. It was not often but came at the strangest times as it had then. As it had in the briefing, as it had when he had talked with McCoy about the dynamics that might have been between Spock and Harris as they were so different.
It had taken some talking but he had managed to get Sulu released from confinement to his quarters to confinement to the base and the ship. This was a time when that special bridge crew needed to be together.
The part pf his mind that was keeping track of the present heard McCoy say, "You gotta know, Jim boy, that Harris was not your routine officer any more than a lot of the crew of the Enterprise. While he and Spock had a lot of differences in how they approached things, and decidedly in their regard for rules and regulations, you gotta know that as a team testing a new shuttle they would be unbeatable. Spock for all the computers and calculation of the most unlikely of possible problems and Harris for actual flight management. I heard it too. Navigational computer problems. No flight problems but trouble with the computer system which we both know would have been impossible with Spock's thorough checking of things."
The computer system. The computer system. That had kept haunting him. He was aware, as they others walked him into the briefing room, that he had been lost in thinking about Spock saying unusual navigational computer difficulties. Spock was the top computer person in all of Starfleet so how could there have been something wrong with the navigational computer? With the damage to the craft as extensive as it was there would never be a way to know. He had seen the live feed of the wreckage. It seemed so unreal, looked so wrong. There had been the wrecked craft and the two distinct areas of blood.
A cup of coffee had been placed before him and he looked up to see his bridge crew all there looking at him. "Even I could nae face tomorrow if I'd had all you've taken, Sir."
"I'll go get you a light meal, Sir. You should have had something to eat as well as drink."
"You'll need to take these as well," McCoy's voice came from his left side as usual and three tablets were placed in his hand.
"I went over the flight plan again and they were in the right place. They had flown the given route."
"Nobody got near the shuttle who vas not on the list of those with permission."
For a few moments after Uhura had come back with a small meal for him and he had taken the tablets Kirk just sat comforted that his crew, his friends, his family was around him. They would be feeling the pain as well as they were all close to Spock and he knew Uhura, Sulu and McCoy were more familiar with Harris than he had been.
"Spock said it was a navigational computer difficulties. He ruled out pilot error with that statement."
"When I cleared the interference from the copy I received I could hear Darren saying, "It is fighting but am keeping it level, keeping it level, keeping it level." then just after Spock said Jim I heard Darren say, "Down." and I do not know if he meant they were down or he was getting Spock down before the crash. His first reaction would have been in his survival mode and that would be to have gotten Spock down before the crash."
"Aye, but he was such a good pilot he might have been meaning they were down as in landed. It did nae look like a crash to me. More a bomb had gone off just after he got it down."
"But the final security sweep found no explosives, Scotty. Nothing."
The wreckage had looked wrong. Wrong for a crash but what if something happened after that?