The Doctor and Mr. Holmes
The Tenth Doctor meets Sherlock Holmes. Why? Because he should, that's why. I'm sure this has been done plenty of times before, but I've not read any yet because I don't want to get ideas from other people :D Enjoy!
Sherlock Holmes looked the man in front of him up and down. A quick glance, taking barely two seconds.
"Hello, I'm the Doctor," the man said, sticking out his hand. Holmes ignored it and motioned to the chair on the other side of the table.
"Lestrade said I should talk to you," he said.
"Oh, yes! The Brig is in contact with him. Gave me a ring today, said there was someone I should meet. Nice to meet you, by the way."
Holmes simply stared, by way of response to the wide smile that the Doctor gave him. Obviously this Doctor was some sort of maniac that Lestrade had sent to annoy him.
"You're Scottish, about thirty-eight years old. You do a lot of running, you aren't married, and you're right handed. You don't have a job, and you travel mostly by airplane. You have a lot of friends, mostly women, and you don't have live anywhere in particular. " Might as well get the satisfaction of seeing the look on this man's face.
"Well, not exactly," said the Doctor, without missing a beat. "Well, you got a few things right. I'm always running, and I'm not married, and most of my friends are women. But I'm not Scottish, I'm nine hundred and three, and I'm ambidextrous; also, my job is saving the world, full time; and I travel by Tardis, which is also where I live. By the way, now that you mention it, you're about thirty-five, unmarried, you live in a flat with a male friend, you do a small amount of running but only when absolutely necessary, and you are right-handed."
Even as Sherlock Holmes was processing this completely unexpected turnaround, the Doctor yelled, "Get down!"
Holmes dove to the ground and rolled out of the way as the table and chairs were smashed. Vaguely he could hear screaming around him from the ridiculous patrons of the coffee shop. Where was the Doctor? He stood carefully and looked around, only to see the man facing down a creature that must surely have come from a nightmare. Or a mad man's imagination. Or both. It seemed to have a laser gun of some sort, and was pointing it at the Doctor, who looked rather angry but not at all afraid. Holmes decided he liked him, even if he was insane.
"What are you doing here?" the Doctor asked.
"Exterminate! Exterminate!" the creature intoned in a monotonous shriek.
"Oh, I don't think so," the Doctor muttered, ducking as a laser beam shot out. He held out something which Sherlock didn't recognize and aimed it at the creature.
Holmes felt more than heard the high-frequency sound. He dropped to the ground and held his head in his hands. The creature spun around and around, shrieking unintelligibly, and then it exploded. Holmes raised his head and watched as the Doctor tossed the object he had used up into the air, caught it, and pocketed it.
"I'm afraid our seating was destroyed," he said. "Would you like to step outside?"
For once, Sherlock Holmes had not a word to say.
A/N: Yeah, I know, the Doctor doesn't kill with his screwdriver. Deal with it. It's a crack fic.