Butterflies

by bumblebee883

Dan an Phil meet in a very awkward situation and become lifelong friends- but Phil feels like they are more than that. Dan and Phil go through a lot together- fear, natural disasters, and of course, love. Contains fluff. P.S. I'm terrible at summaries but I hope you like the story! ;P

Prologue

*Dan's Pov*

I could remember the day I met Phil Lester.

I woke on a bright, sunny, summer day at about noon. I had accidentally stayed up all night playing a wide variety of video games ranging from Halo to Mario Kart 8. And eating.

I ate a lot last night.

I sighed and asked myself how I stayed as skinny as I was when I was so unhealthy.

I grudgingly got out of bed and dressed myself in the usual depressing outfit I always wear, knowing that it wasn't suitable for the type of bright and warm day it was. I didn't care.

After I showered, straightened my hobbit hair, ate breakfast while watching an episode of Buffy, and played a bit of Crash Bandicoot, I decided to go shopping. Wasn't the most interesting thing I could do, but I'm not sure how longer I could live by myself with no milk or cereal.

I walked down to the grocery store, looking at my phone most of the time to avoid having eye contact with a stranger, and picked up the milk when I heard an unfamiliar voice from behind me.

'Excuse me, I just moved here, do you mind telling me where the cereal is?' I turned around and was faced with a boy with pale blue eyes that reminded me of crystals, sleek black hair with a fringe similar to mine, and his lips curved into the slightest casual smile.

I must have been staring for too long because the boy's expression changed and he turned away slowly.

'Wait! Sorry! I was just heading to the cereal section, myself, you can come too!' He smiled with his tongue sticking slightly out of the right side out of his mouth. He was cute.

'Thanks, mate!' He said in a happy-go-lucky voice. I led him down aisles to the other side of the store. We were two aisles away when the boy accidentally bumped into the box full of fresh picked peaches.

The box tipped over, sending peaches flying towards me. I then accidentally stumbled over a peach and the milk I was holding went flying towards the cereal and broke. Multiple cereal boxes tumbled to the ground and broke, sending cereal across the store. The milk, once it hit the ground, broke and spilled the entire gallon across the floor like a dam breaking.

The other boy and I watched in horror and shock, but after the whole ordeal was over and the peaches, cereal and milk combined to make a terrible mess across the back corner of the store, we grinned and high fived each other. After that we got yelled at by the store's manager and we awkwardly left the store with our grimy peach juice-milk cereal splattered outfits.

We bonded over that experience. After we left the store we exchanged phone numbers and met at Starbucks the next day.

We found out that we were much more common than I expected. I learned that his name was Phil Lester, and he learned that my name was Dan Howell. I learned that he was twenty-five, and he learned that I was only twenty-one. Phil didn't care.

Phil never criticised me, and was the nicest person I had ever met. We became lifelong friends, no questions asked. We practically lived at each other's apartments, and end to know more about the other person than they did themselves.

This is where our story begins.

Chapter 1

*Dan's Pov*

It had been three years since Phil and I decided to move in together. Every day of living with Phil was always cheerful, fun, or, well, awkward. We were both very awkward and clumsy. For example, after we absolutely ruined the corner of a grocery store and then we had to awkwardly leave the store covered in peach juice, milk, and cereal stuck to our clothing. Then we had to walk back to our apartments with the people on the streets of London giving Phil and I the most disgusted or weird looks ever. In the history of disgusted and weird looks. And then the next day we decided to make a Youtube video about it, because we were both famous youtubers.

Today was our fifth year knowing each other. For the first two years we practically lived at each other's houses, so we came to decide to live together.

But… the feeling became worse when we moved in together.

I felt safe when Phil was around, and when we were separated, I longed to be with him. Whenever he touched me, it sent a warm tingling down my spine. I always would stare into his blue eyes that shone like crystals whenever I get the chance. I knew I had always been bi, but… I don't really know what love is. I've never really been in love before so… how should I know? For all I know, I could be wanting to kill Phil. But I doubt it.

Today was a specifically relaxing day, so Phil and I did basically… nothing. Up until dinner, it was a normal day where there wasn't really interesting going on. But then Phil surprised me.

'Dan… I was wondering… I'm not sure if you feel the same way, though…." Phil muttered so quietly I barely could hear him.

'Go on then, mate, whatever you say, I won't be mad.' His crystal eyes flicked around the room as he took a deep breath.

'Do you know how it feels to love someone?' he asks.

'Well Phil I would hope so, because if I didn't I wouldn't have a sense of humor, be nice, or-'

'Dan that's enough. What I mean is not family love, like boyfriend and girlfriend, or in this case boyfriend and boyfriend.' Phil muttered the last few words. Realizing this was actually a serious conversation, I smiled.

'Phil, love is just like a butterfly. Come at it too quickly, it'll fly away. If you approach it slowly and carefully, you can get good information about it and take in it's beauty. From the limited knowledge I know about love, that is probably the best advice I can give you.' Phil stared at me in shock.

'That's probably the best thing you've said to me in the history of serious conversations. Maybe I am coming at it too quickly. I mean, I have known you for five whole years, but-' Phil turned pink in embarrassment and spun out of the room. I rolled my eyes and sat thinking for about ten minutes. Phil was never good at deep conversations, much less talking about love. Love is something we both don't know much about, much less are actually good at it.

I then got up and knocked on Phil's bedroom door. No answer. I cracked the door and poked my head inside to see if he was there. He was crying quietly muttering something about me not loving him back, quick butterflies, and then slapped himself on the head and screamed 'Phil you idiot!' He then hit himself over and over again, harder and harder each time. Then he dug his fingers into his skin and pressed and pulled, leaving a giant bleeding scratch on both cheeks and his right arm. I had to stop this.

I ran to him and cupped Phil's bleeding face in my hands and wiped away a tear forming under his eye.

Then I kissed him.

Then we hugged for a very long time. Phil was sobbing into my shoulder, apologizing over and over again. I shushed him.

'What're you worrying about so much even though I love you, too?'

Chapter 2

*Phil's Pov*

Dan was my everything. He didn't know that.

I was always thinking about him, no matter where either of us where.

Then I ruined it- well, sort of.

Apparently I was dumb enough to ask advice about love to the person who I do love. And then, of course, in a specifically Phil-matter, I let Dan know my feelings for him. I thought Dan would never love me back, so by telling him I was risking our five wonderful years of friendship?

I'm glad Dan gave me time to think after the whole ordeal. But I wasn't glad at the same time. I think it would be much easier to not have giant scratches running down my cheeks. And my arm.

Because I wouldn't have done that if I knew that Dan loved me back. But of course, Dan did love me back. And I can't time travel, so there's no way to get rid of these marks or my throbbing headaches.

The kiss was wonderful. I didn't try to comprehend how Dan's lips were so soft compared to my dry, cracked ones. I didn't want it to end, but unfortunately, it did.

After he hugged me for a very long time and I sobbed in his shoulder, begging for forgiveness (I felt terrible) and told him I felt sick Dan helped me to the lounge where he layed me on the sofa, brought me tea and toast, and turned one of my favorite episodes of Buffy on. Once he finished tidying up the kitchen and quickly finished editing a video, he came and cuddled with me on the couch. We finished the episode of Buffy and then watched a movie or two. I drifted off to sleep in Dan's arms, only to be woken by loud rumbling and a crack.

*Dan's Pov*

The relief of telling Phil how I felt was the most amazing thing I could ever experience. He had extremely soft pink lips, in much better condition than mine were. I felt so sorry for Phil, wishing that I had stopped him from going to his room earlier, but some things you just can't change in life.

Phil told me he felt sick. I wondered if it was because of blood loss, or because of me, or because he was just nervous. I worked hard to make sure Phil's night was perfect, even if he didn't realize it, by paying attention to the little things in life. When he laid on the couch I wanted to make sure his back was propped up by the perfect amount of pillows, making sure that his legs were propped up by pillows, making sure he could see the television without any problems, making sure his tea had the right amount of sugar and his toast having the right amount of butter, etc., etc. Of course I cuddled with him too and let him choose the movies (whether I liked them or not) and turned the film off when he fell asleep.

I watched him sleep for awhile, and I'm surprised how I hadn't really noticed how peaceful Phil looked while he was sleeping. The sound of his steady breathing. The way his fringe would fall over his closed eyes, opening an opportunity for me to brush it back to see his face just a bit more.

This was Phil. This was my Phil. No one could take my Phillion away from me.

Then I fell asleep, knowing that Phil's warm asleep body rested in my arms, finally. My dreams finally came true.

Until I woke to an unusual tension in the air. Sensing it made me feel extremely nervous. So I squeezed sleeping Phil a little tighter, pulling him closer, as I felt the building start to rumble and sway. I grabbed my phone.

Phil woke with a start, realizing this was an earthquake he immediately stood and hobbled over to the table and ducked under pleading me with his eyes to do the same. I tried to stand, but instead the building dipped again and I was flung toward a window, the whole sofa following me. The sudden force of me and the couch shattered the window, sending shimmering shards of glass showering over me, leaving multiple cuts across my skin. I winced in pain as Phil screamed my name.

The building swayed again, but this time I held onto the windowsill as the blinds came crashing down on me. Then the building rumbled and shook, and I made my way to the table, to Phil. Instead, The wall cracked from the ceiling to the floor, and gave way just as the building swayed again. I went flying, but I still managed to hold to the floor. Unfortunately, the table dragged Phil towards me, and the table went flying. But Phil held on to my ankle.

Chapter 3

*Phil's Pov*

Dan wasn't going to let me fall to the pavement fifteen stories below us. He was going to try with all his strength to either save me, save both of us, or to let us both fall to our death. My knuckles turned white clutching onto Dan's leg, hoping that, just maybe, there would be a way for us to both live a happily ever after.

Unfortunately, that's not how life works.

'Dan, please let me let go!' I shouted to Dan through the rumbling and swaying. 'You'd be able to live a happy life. DAN!' I screamed, as he swung the leg that I was hanging from onto the floor of our apartment, giving me an opportunity to scramble on, just as his left fingers slipped. Dan was holding the ledge with only one hand, and it happened to be his non-dominant hand. I quickly stood up and held his left had as his right hand slipped.

'Phil, no, please let go… please...we're going to both fall, Phil, please, LET GO!' he screamed. I shook my head, and tugged on Dan's arm to pull him up farther. I stumbled and fell, but caught myself on the ledge and pulled him up a little further, and I knew he only stayed up that high for a few seconds. So Dan pulled me close and looked deep into my eyes. I stared back into his chestnut brown pools of sadness for a second or two and then pressed his lips to my ear.

'Phil Lester, live a long life, and don't waste your precious time thinking of me. Phil, I want you to stay strong. Phil-' he looked deep into my eyes again and whispered through tears:

'I love you, and I always will. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Phil, I love-' Then, he slipped and fell towards the pavement. I screamed his name, over and over at the top of my lungs.

'DAN! DAN! NOOO! DAN, NO, I LOVE YOU!' I sobbed.

The rest seemed to happen in slow motion. An ambulance came rushing down the street, and just as Dan was halfway down his plumett, a paramedic rushed out a stretcher, which, just in time, broke Dan's fall. He waved at me. I watched the doctors do medical tests to see if he was living, and, judging by the loud, happy cheer that rang through the rumbling, Dan was alive. That was all I needed to know.

Then I felt it stop, but the top half of the building was still at an angle. After that I heard a life threatening crack. The building seemed to topple down on me, but my wonderful sofa softened the fall, and then tipped to stop the rubble from piling on top of me. It was a miracle. I had survived.

I didn't have my cell phone on me at the time, so I couldn't have called or contacted anyone. But I doubt that there would be service in the first place. All I could do was wait for someone to find me.

Chapter 4

*Dan's Pov*

I didn't want to die. I didn't want to leave Phil. I didn't want the earthquake to happen in the first place. Why did this have to happen right after Phil and I were finally a couple?

But the fact that someone saved me was wonderful.

But what would Phil do? What happened to Phil? Even though I wasn't conscious, I still dreamt of Phil- his looks, his scent, his touch, his… his everything. I wanted Phil. I needed Phil.

Is Phil okay?

The question kept nagging the back of my mind. Phil… screaming… he needed me.

I could remember it now. Phil screamed my name, and that he loved me. He watched in happiness as I waved sheepishly at him, and then I heard a crash. Then I saw the building tumbling down, as we were driving away and then….

I sat bolt upright, my palms sweaty, and I heard myself screaming Phil's name. The nurse rushed into the room, and tried to give me the worst reassurance ever.

'Calm down, cariño, Phil's okay. Phil will be fine. Don't worry so much.' Then I couldn't control myself and started bawling, screaming: 'Phil's not okay, I saw, why didn't you stop, to save him too!' She frowned.

'You were in a pretty critical condition, sir.'

'I don't care, I don't- you- you bastard!'

'Was Phil your son?' I shook my head. 'Your father?' Again, I shook my head. 'Your brother. Your friend. Your grandfather?' I shook my head. What a homophobe.

'Phil was my boyfriend.'

*Phil's Pov*

I've been sitting in this pile of rubble for days- I counted. There was a little crack from my cave that would show if it was day or night. My right arm ached in pain, for I landed on it when I fell, and my throat was dry and scratchy.

On the fourth day, I decided to try and stick my hand through the crack. I accidentally kicked the couch and it tipped over, wrecking the room that was a miracle. I cursed under my breath. There is no going back now, I thought. My left hand started to clear a path for the rest of my body to try and wiggle through. Cement, wood, and people's belongings scraped my back, my stomach and both my right and left sides. Slowly but surely, my head made it to the other side. I was free. I wiggled myself out and stretched my legs, my back, my neck, my arms- my everywhere. I took a deep breath of the fresh air, remembering how stuffy, hot, and dusty the air was in my cave.

Why didn't I try that before? I asked myself.

I saw a phone on top of all the rubble, and called Dan. I didn't really expect someone to pick up, but someone did.

*3rd Pov*

Dan's phone buzzed. He remembered that he grabbed it as the earthquake was starting. He pulled it out of his pocket and answered. Hearing a dry, raspy, voice on the other end shouting 'Dan! I'm okay! Where are you?'

'Who are you?' Dan asked.

'Phil!' The voice shouted back. A wide grin spread across Dan's face and Dan shouted, 'Thank God! You're okay! Thank God!' Dan could feel tears of joy welling in his eyes as Phil told the story of how the sofa was his savior. Phil, again, asked where Dan was. Dan answered accurately. Phil was coming to Dan, and Dan was welcoming Phil with open arms.

Phil walked fast to the nearest hospital. When he got there, despite all of the doctors wanting to fix Phil's cuts and scratches, he went straight to Dan's room.

Chapter 5

*Dan's Pov*

The moment Phl walked through the door that always creaked when it opened, I couldn't control myself. Phil was okay! I was okay! This was an absolute miracle. Phil was covered in dust and super dirty, but that didn't stop me from bringing Phil to my chest in a deep hug. I smiled at him through my tears of joy. He smiled back, re-defining the tear streaks that were on Phil's dirty face. Lucky. We were a miracle- very lucky. Suddenly, a couple of doctors and a mob of news reporters burst through the door. Phil and I exchanged a worried, "oh this again" look. 'Dan Howell, survivor of falling out of a fifteen story building during an earthquake rated 9.5 on the richter scale. Dan, tell us how you felt when you got saved by these wonderful doctors?' A news reporter asked. 'Well, I felt like it was a pure miracle that I escaped with only a small case of spondylolisthesis, and it got easily fixed with a minor surgery.' The reporter smiled and nudged Phil so he wouldn't be seen on camera. I could see the disappointment on Phil's face as the reporter pushed him. I reached my hand out and grabbed onto his hand, pulling him closer. 'Did you see the building collapse?'

'Yes. In fact, Phil here-' I pulled Phil to sit on the bed with me- 'was a survivor of the fall.' All the cameras turned to Phil. 'What happened?'

Phil told them, and they were fascinated. Phil seemed happy to be on television, so I let him talk for as long as he wanted. They asked him a few questions, and he answered them happily. Eventually, they finished of the questions for me and then left. Phil seemed particularly happy at that moment, so I was particularly happy at that moment. So what, we were in a sucky hospital that smelled of sweat, medicine, and metal? We were together. That's all that mattered. Unfortunately, the doctors led Phil away to his own room, to treat his cuts and probably make Phil take a shower to clean off the dust and dirt. Another set of doctors also made me shower and change, while they changed my bedsheets and swept the floor. Phil tracked dirt everywhere. I scrolled through my phone, looking for an apartment, since our old one had been destroyed. Phil, once clean and treated (I was glad to see that normal, beautiful face again), came and talked where we wanted to buy. We agreed on London. He helped me scroll through houses and apartments, and once we found the perfect one, we had to go for a meeting tomorrow. We begged the doctors to let us go and they eventually agreed. The next day, we had a meeting with our landlord and immediately moved in. We were both so happy- until we realized we had no furniture or food. So we went shopping and spent a lot of money (oh well) and had an absolutely beautiful apartment.

*Phil's Pov*

I was so glad that I found Dan. If I didn't I don't know what I would've done. After we moved to London, I felt much safer knowing that we were on a lower floor. Dan never left without me going with him, or if I didn't want to go, he would stay, since he knew that I would be terrified if he left. It's been that way since the earthquake; when I was alone, I'd think about me being alone, in the darkness, not knowing where Dan was, not knowing if Dan was okay… I didn't want Dan to leave me alone. Ever. Again.

I would be reliving the earthquake, screaming Dan's name… but this time, no ambulance came. No, no, please, no… Dan… Dan….

I'd wake to Dan shushing me saying 'It's okay, Phil, I'm right here,' and then kiss me softly on the lips. I'd then ask Dan to sleep with me for the rest of the night, and he'd cuddle me, and I'd cuddle him back, stroking his soft, velvety brown hair. I'd then pretend to be asleep, knowing Dan was watching my every movement and breath. We'd fall asleep together and wake with our legs entangled with each other and the blankets. This happened again and again until Dan decided to sleep with me for a whole night. In the morning I got up to make pancakes, but when Dan got up, he ran into the kitchen and pulled me into a tight hug, muttering 'Oh, Phil, I had a nightmare… I'm so sorry… I'm such a baby… I just woke up and you weren't there….' I felt bad and apologized.

'Dan, I'm so sorry. I won't do that ever again to you.' I smiled softly at Dan, who was burying his head in my shoulder, causing my shoulder to turn wet with tears. 'I made pancakes. Would you like some?' The younger boy lazily nodded his head into my shoulder. I brought a plate of pancakes and the syrup bottle with me when I laid Dan on the couch. We cuddled as we ate the pancakes and watched Buffy.

'I always will be here, Dan,' I say, resting my head on Dan's shoulder. 'You will never need to worry.'