So…I know we're all recovering from the pain that is chapter 36 and I needed to write a fanfiction to deal with it. So here it is. It is a post story concept I have of a few paths the series may take. For the LOVE OF GOD, don't take this as canon or overly serious. I'm just playing around, decompressing, and trying to work through the hurt and psychology of these girls and I want to find a believable happy ending for them!
I hope you guys enjoy this little trip down into my brain pan.
Yuzu couldn't help but feel it; the familiar nervous pounding in her chest that always began whenever she came home from a work trip. Sometimes it was because she was worried about getting chastised for some chore she forgot to do before leaving, other times it was because Yuzu was afraid of what Mei would do once she got her hands on the blonde.
She'd only been at her current job for six months, and this was her fourth work trip in just as many, and Yuzu was dead tired. In college, the idea of working for a major hotel chain as a hospitality manager had sounded great, and most of the time it was. But lately, all she could think about was getting home and having a nice long soak before curling up on the couch with her head in Mei's lap and watching a movie.
But since it was past midnight, Yuzu knew that wasn't going to happen. Mei's schedule was nearly as hectic as hers, and with them having their monthly visitor, the school director was probably fast asleep by now.
"I'm home," she said quietly out of habit and received silence in return.
Sighing at the realizing no one would answer, Yuzu pulled her shoes off and dropped them lazily off to the side along with her suitcase before locking the door. Yawning loudly, she wandered into the kitchen and set her computer bag down on the counter and headed to the fridge to find something to eat. When she opened it, Yuzu was surprised to see a plate of omurice placed front and center with a folded up piece of paper on it.
Picking up the paper, Yuzu smiled when she read a short note written in familiar tidy print.
Yuzu,
I know you're supposed to be home tomorrow, but if there's a chance you come back early, I hope you enjoy this meal. It took a while to make, but our visitor was adamant in making you a good dinner, so please enjoy it and be honest with him about how it tastes. Not too honest, but honest enough so he can learn what to do better next time.
With all our love
Yuzu chuckled at the note and gave it a deep sniff making her sigh happily. She could smell the slight fermented scent of kimchi along with basil, mushrooms, onions, and other things that were making her mouth water.
Her stomach growling, Yuzu took the plate and did her best to warm it up quietly. After it was warmed through, Yuzu joined Kumagoro along with a large stuffed tiger at the table and clapped her hands together.
"Thanks for the meal," she whispered before taking a colossal first bite. The moment her teeth broke the egg, flavor flooded her mouth, and Yuz let out a small squeal of delight. It wasn't as potent as the kind her mother made, but it was very delicious for a first attempt. The kimchi and herbs balanced each other rather well. The rice was a bit dry, but Yuzu figured that was more from the microwave than the skill of the chef. Before she knew it, Yuzu had devoured the entire thing and found herself wishing she could make another one.
"Maybe in the morning," she sighed contentedly before placing her dishes in the sink.
When she was done cleaning up, Yuzu opened her phone and flipped through her messages to make sure nobody would need her the following day and was glad that only one person from her job said they'd need help with some online paperwork.
Replying that she'd help him after some sleep, Yuzu made the long trek down the hall and stopped when she saw the door to her bedroom opened a bit, illuminating the hallway with lamplight. Making sure to keep her steps light, Yuzu pushed the door open a bit more and smiled at what she saw.
Ever since they'd started sharing a bed again, Mei and Yuzu either slept wrapped around each other or with one of them holding onto the other. This was the first time in a long while that Yuzu had seen Mei sleep on her own and she found it adorable.
Usually, Mei was somewhat composed and still while she slept. But tonight, Yuzu was lucky enough to find Mei with one of her legs sticking out from under the covers, with her right arm crushing Yuzu's pillow while her left dangled lazily over the side of the bed.
Yuzu's heart melted at the sight, and as much as she wanted to climb into bed, she had something more important to handle first.
After taking a quick picture of her sleeping lover, Yuzu headed to the room that had once been hers, took a deep breath, and entered, making sure to keep the door open a small amount. Glancing around the room, Yuzu still couldn't believe that it had once been hers. When she'd lived in it, clothes had been strewn everywhere along with her textbooks and other study materials. But now, now it was filled with toys, children's books, and even a small desk that had several elementary school preparatory items on it, though there were small pieces of clothes here and there.
As she straightened her work blouse and bow, Yuzu heard the ruffling of fabric and stopped when she saw a large lump begin stirring on the bed. Stepping outside, Yuzu watched quietly through the crack, waiting to see if the occupant would pop out from beneath the covers but instead was rewarded with the sight of a tiny foot covered in tiger patterned pajamas. Unable to stop herself from giggling at the sight of what she guessed was a wiggling butt, Yuzu stepped back into the room, making sure to put some of the clothes into the hamper before grabbing a stuffed tiger that had fallen on the floor. Approaching the bed, Yuzu knelt down and pulled the covers away to reveal a small boy with untidy black hair and pale skin sleeping peacefully with his butt propped in the air.
Yuzu couldn't contain herself and knowing it would wake him, she leaned in and gave him a light kiss on the forehead, making the boy stir and sleepily open his eyes.
Despite his age, it wasn't difficult for Yuzu to see that the boy took after his mother. He may not have had her eyes, though there were some small flecks of purple here and there, he had her hair, her complexion, and he even spoke like Mei most of the time. But as Yuzu watched him blink in the dim light from the lamp, his hair disheveled with one arm sticking out over the collar of his pajama shirt exposing half his chest, she liked to think that part of him was starting to take after her as well.
"Mama," he asked groggily as he wiped the sleep from the eyes that were almost identical to his father's. "You're back?"
"Yeah," she whispered while running her hand through his hair. "I'm sorry I had to be gone during your visit baby boy."
"Don't call me that," whined the boy as he continued rubbing his eyes, but Yuzu could see the smile break his lips. "I'm not a baby anymore; I'm almost five."
"You're right," chuckled Yuzu as she set the tiger down the bed next to him and helped him put his arm back into his sleeve. "You're going to be five soon, but you'll always be my little boy."
"I'm a big boy," he grunted as he slipped off the bed and wrapped his small arms around her neck, completely contradicting himself.
"That's right," she said with an amused sigh. "I keep forgetting my little Hideki is all grown up. So how about, instead of calling you 'baby boy' can I call you 'little man' instead?"
"I guess," he yawned before kissing her cheek and resting his head on her shoulder. "Did you find the omurice, Mommy and I made for you?"
"I did," answered Yuzu as her arms instinctively cocooned him. "Mommy even left a note saying that you wanted her to teach you how to make it, is that true?"
Hideki nodded and yawned, "Yep." He smacked his lips and squeezed his mother saying. "Mommy said it's one of your favorites and that you'd be home tomorrow, so I wanted you to have something yummy to eat. Was it good?"
"It was delicious," replied Yuzu wholeheartedly. "You did so well for your first time cooking. You were safe when you were cooking it, right? Mommy had you wear an apron and handled all the dangerous things like the knives and getting all the stuff out?"
"Yeah." Hideki's brown eyes locked onto hers and Yuzu couldn't help but feel like she was talking to a young Mei for a moment. "Mommy was pretty strict about me not touching the knives, but I did get to whip the eggs, and she stood behind me and held my hands while I cooked everything. I even got to mix all the spices and stuff into it too."
"Did she get any pictures," asked Yuzu nearly collapsing from the imagery that passed through her head. The mere thought of Hideki standing on the step stool while Mei stood behind him, her hands guiding him as he cooked, both dressed in aprons, was so adorable that Yuzu felt like her brain would explode at any moment.
"I think Grandma Ume did," sighed the boy with a blank stare as he watched his mother's face light up with excitement. "She came by for a little bit and had dinner with us."
"And she didn't send them to me," asked Yuzu with a low growl. "Grandma said she'd email me any pictures the moment she took them if she stopped by."
"She said she had to pick Grandpa Sho up from the airport," reported the boy in a monotone similar to Mei's. "So I think she forgot."
"Grandpa is back home," asked Yuzu in surprise. It'd been months since her step-father had been in town and Yuzu was worried about how Mei would handle it. "Is he planning on seeing Mommy?"
Even though much of their relationship had been repaired over the past several years, Mei and Sho still weren't on the best of terms. While the years had helped them be more cordial and more affectionate with one another, Yuzu wondered if her step-father and step-sister would ever fully repair their relationship.
"I dunno," replied the boy as he began playing with his mother's hair. "But I think he's gonna try and come visit. Grandma said he's gonna be home for a long time and Mommy said she wanted him to visit. I think she's excited."
"I bet she is." Yuzu felt a sad smile creep across her lips as she looked down at her son. "What about you, are you happy he's back?"
"Yes," squeaked the boy as he reached up and grabbed his tiger off the bed. "Grandpa said he got to see real tigers and has pictures for me! He even said he'd take me to the zoo to see some!"
"That sounds fun," said Yuzu as he plopped back into her lap and began playing with the tiger. "Do you want me and Mommy to go with you?"
"Yep." Hideki held the tiger up to his mother's face and pretended that it was kissing her. "Grandma said she wants all of us to have a nice big visit. She even said Daddy could come if you and Mommy were okay with it."
"I'm okay with it, and I'm sure Mommy will be too," answered the woman as she kissed the tiger on the nose. "Do you think your dad would like to come?"
"I dunno," sighed Hideki was he pulled the tiger back into his lap. "He and Mommy are always busy with work, and I don't want to bug him. But he did ask me if there was something I wanted to do while I was with him and Mama Rena. Maybe we can make it a family trip?"
"I don't think that would be a problem," sighed Yuzu as she squeezed the boy. "I'll make sure to talk to Mommy and Daddy about it tomorrow."
"Okay," answered the boy anxiously but Yuzu could hear the faint sound of hope in his voice.
As they sat in the room, Hideki focused on playing while Yuzu held him close, she could feel the stress of her work and the busy day of travel begin to set in. As much as she wanted to go to bed, the wriggling body of her four-year-old son was forcing her to remain awake. Despite her best efforts, Yuzu felt her eyes start to close, and her chin begin to drift into the boy's soft hair. It felt so much like a pillow that Yuzu felt herself slip into light sleep.
"Are you okay, Mama," inquired Hideki when he felt his mother's cheek on his head. "I think you're sweating."
"H'im fffifne," slurred Yuzu after lifting her head and wiping some drool from the side of her mouth. " I'm sorry, Hideki. Mama just had a long day, so she's a little tired."
Hideki gave her such a piercing gaze Yuzu felt all the sleep instantly leave her body.
"Are you sure," he asked unsure of his mother's sincerity. "You were starting to snore."
"I'm sure," said Yuzu with her trademark grin. "I might be tired, but if it means I get to stay up with you, I will stay awake forever."
"If you say so," answered the boy with a slight roll of his eyes.
"What you don't believe me," asked Yuzu somewhat dramatically while sticking her nose in the air. "I'm telling you the truth, but if you don't believe me, I'll just go back to work."
"Don't leave, Mama," squealed the boy as he dropped his tiger and desperately wrapped his arms around his mother's neck. "I do believe you, Mama, don't go. I didn't get to see you this visit, please don't leave."
Yuzu felt a warm wetness on her shirt and as her son shook against her body, tears pouring down his face.
"It's okay, Hideki, please don't cry." Yuzu was so caught off guard by his reaction that Yuzu's instincts told her to hold him tight and begin rocking him back and forth. "Mama's not gonna leave; it was just a joke, okay? I was just teasing you."
"Promise," sniffled the boy as his mother patted him softly on the back, wiping the tears on the back of his sleeves. "You promise you were kidding?"
"I promise." Yuzu held him tight against her chest and continued to console him. "You know Mommy and I wouldn't leave you like that, right?"
"I know," whimpered the boy, his arms squeezing her almost as tight as she was squeezing him. "But I heard Mommy tell Grandma that she was worried you'd want to leave one day."
"Why'd Mommy say that?" The news that Mei was having these thoughts came as a surprise to Yuzu, and she was wanted to know why. She pushed him away gently and lifting his chin with her finger Yuzu asked, "Hideki, did you hear why Mommy said that to Grandma?"
Hideki gave the door a nervous look before whispering, "Mommy said it's cuz you're still mad at her cuz she dumped you a long time ago. Is that true, Mama? Would you leave us cuz Mommy made you angry?"
A familiar chill spread down Yuzu's back as her son stared up at her expecting an answer.
It wasn't the first time Yuzu, Mei, or even his father had to have a conversation like this with the boy. Over the past couple of years, he'd grown curious about why he had two moms and why his dad was engaged to another woman. They'd done their best to explain everything to him, including a few details about the nature of Yuzu and Mei's relationship and for the most part, he seemed to handle it reasonably well.
But now, now Yuzu could see the fear in her son's eyes and Yuzu could feel her heart breaking at his doubt. Doubt that she didn't love him enough to stay in his life, let alone in Mei's just because they got angry.
"Hideki," whispered Yuzu as she patted her son's head as she wiped away the tears that were forming in the corners of his eyes. "I promise that I won't leave you just because your Mommy and I fight. Neither of us would do that to you or each other."
"I know," sniffed the boy as he continued to stare up at his mother. "But Mommy said..."
"What happened with your Mommy is very difficult to explain," sighed Yuzu as she tried to figure out how best to describe the events that had transpired between them.
"Why's it difficult," asked Hideki, slightly calmer than he had been now that Yuzu was attempting to answer his question.
How as she supposed to explain to him the events that had lead to her mother's departure, the months of pain both of them had endured during their separation.
There was no easy way to tell him all that unless Yuzu completely lied and she could never do that. She, Mei, and Udagawa had agreed to answer their son's questions as honestly as possible but that usually required at least two of them to be in the room to help fill in the gaps, but Yuzu didn't have that luxury this time. Hideki needed answers and Yuzu knew that Mei would more than likely not wake up and that Udagawa was either asleep or handling some social event with his new fiancee leaving Yuzu alone to answer the boy's questions.
"What I mean, Hideki," gulped Yuzu slowly planning how she'd answer him, "is that Mommy and Daddy lived and still live in a world a lot different than the world we do."
The boy gave his mother a quizzical look and asked, "Don't we all live on Earth though?
"That's not what I meant," giggled Yuzu after hearing her son's question.
"But then how…."
"Hideki," sighed Yuzu after placing a finger on the boy's lips to quiet him. When he stopped talking, Yuzu smiled at him and said, "You are right when you say we all live on Earth, but when I said Mommy and Daddy live in a different world it's what people call a figure of speech. Do you know what that is?"
Hideki shook his head, and Yuzu began to wonder how her mother had survived raising her alone.
"Okay," Yuzu pinched her nostrils and took a deep breath. "A figure of speech is when you describe something without really using it. So when I say your Mommy and Daddy live in a different world, what I mean is that there are things that apply to them don't apply to you and me. Do you understand?"
"Kinda." Hideki's brow was furrowed, and Yuzu could see he was trying to put the pieces together.
"All right," Yuzu felt her head begin to hurt at trying to sort all this out. "You know how sometimes Mommy has to take you to dinners that I don't get invited to?"
"Uh huh," grunted Hideki. The boy hated going to those dinners with his parents, but unfortunately, they were always going to be a part of his life. "Why don't you get invited to them? I thought Mommy told Daddy's parents to invite you?"
"Part of it," sighed Yuzu as she tried to explain without badmouthing his father's parents, "part of it is because of the divorce. They put some of the blame on me, so they don't like me coming around. Mommy, goes because of her family and they get invited to a lot of those things, and she needs to go to make business contacts for the school and other things."
"So, why can't you go?" Hideki reached in and pulled out Yuzu's ring and fingered it. "You and Mommy have rings like what Daddy and Mama Rena wear, so shouldn't you get to go?"
"Some people don't agree with relationships like mine and Mommy's." Yuzu thought back to the day in the library when Mei had promised her that they could be together, only to leave her a few months later. "So, Mommy and I have to pick and choose what events I go to."
"Is that why Mommy married Daddy? Because it's easier to go to parties to make money?
"Kind of," chuckled Yuzu, amused at her son's attempt to understand his mother, though with how he described it Yuzu couldn't help but imagine Mei in a slinky dress and make-up. "Money was a part of it, but that's not why Mommy left me."
"Then why did she?" Yuzu could see the confusion return to her son's face. "Did she love Daddy more than you?"
"Your mommy and daddy's relationship was different, and she and your daddy divorced because what they had wasn't the same as what Mommy and I have." Yuzu felt a sting in her eyes as she began reciting the letter Mei had left her in the back of her mind. "When Mommy left me, she was hurting, and she didn't know how to handle it."
"Why was she hurting?" Hideki had stopped crying by this point, and now his eyes were wide with curiosity. He always loved hearing stories about his parents and Yuzu was glad he was still curious.
"Because Mommy loved me." Yuzu stroked her son's cheek and gave him a weak smile.
"But if she loved you then why'd..."
"Sometimes," interrupted Yuzu again by placing a finger on his lips, "people do things because they feel it's for the best. Mommy was hurting, very badly because she didn't know how to love me, so she left. She felt that she had to do that to take over the school and to make her family proud."
"Mommy left you for the family?" Hideki's face screwed up in frustration at trying to process his mother's explanation. "But aren't you and Mommy..."
"That's not what I meant," Yuzu practically shouted only to catch herself half-way through her shout.
Hideki's eyes widened in shock at his mother's yelp and backed away slightly, thinking he'd done something wrong.
"I'm sorry, Hideki. It's not your fault, okay," grinned Yuzu, waving her hands apologetically. "I'm not mad at you. Mama's mad at herself, all right?"
"Okay," answered Hideki skeptically and keeping what little distance he'd created between him and his mother.
Yuzu felt a pang of failure in her chest at being unable to explain the situation to Hideki adequately. Shaking her head, Yuzu tried to figure something out, but when nothing came, she waved him forward and felt relieved when he allowed her to embrace him.
"I'm sorry I'm not better at explaining this to you."
"You're doing fine," came a soft voice from outside the door.
Hideki and Yuzu both let out small gasps of surprise as Mei stepped into the room. She looked a bit more awake than Yuzu, though it was clear to see the younger woman could have benefited from a few more hours of sleep.
"Hi, Mommy," whispered the boy as he began inching toward the bed in preparation for his mother to tell him to go back to bed.
"Good morning," yawned Mei as sat down next to Yuzu and pulled the boy between them, her hand wrapping around his shoulder.
"It's still night time," answered the boy as he pointed at the clock. "So don't you mean, good evening?"
"If it's after midnight, you can say good morning," said Mei with the faintest hint of a grin at her son's attempt to correct her.
"Oh." Hideki chewed on his lower lip for a moment to process this new information. "That's kinda interesting. Good morning, Mommy."
Mei smiled down at her son and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before casting a suspicious glance at her fiancee.
"Why didn't you come to bed?"
"You know why," answered Yuzu with a blush embarrassment as she patted Hideki on the head. "I had to make sure our little man was safe and sound."
"Stop," grunted the boy, his ears turning red at the unwarranted attention.
"Don't tell us what to do," teased Mei, the small smile still plastered on her lips. "We're your mothers, and we can make you go back to bed if you keep talking to us like that."
"Sorry, Mommy. Sorry, Mama." Hideki looked up at his mothers and then bowed his head in submission, allowing them to dote on him.
"There's no reason to apologize, Hideki," answered Mei in the warm voice she reserved for only Yuzu and their son. "It's Mama that needs to apologize for waking you up."
"Wha….," gasped Yuzu glaring at her fiancee. "Since when is it a crime for a mother to want to see her child after spending two weeks away on business?"
"Normally it isn't," retorted Mei, casting an alluring gaze in her lover's direction. "But I missed you as well, and you said you'd come see me the moment you got home after our talk last night."
"Well, yeah I guess I did," confirmed Yuzu, her face turning even more red as she remembered all the things she'd said she'd do to Mei when she returned. "But, I wanted him to see me before he left. Can you at least pardon me for wanting to spend some time with our son?"
"We'll see what the future holds," sighed Mei with the faintest hint of a wink, "but I think our son is getting impatient waiting for us to answer his questions. Isn't that right, Hideki?"
The boy nodded and said, "Yes, Mommy."
"What do you want to know," asked Mei, her hand gently massaging the top of his back. "If I heard properly, Mama was trying to tell you about why I married your father, correct?"
Hideki nodded and said, "Mama said it's because you had to do it for the family but she also said that you left her to marry Daddy because you loved her too much. I thought you were marrying Mama because you loved her more than Daddy so if you love Mama more, why did you marry Daddy first? Also, how come it took so long for you and Mama to start dating again did you two hate each other or was it something else?"
Yuzu watched as the smile faded from Mei's face, knowing where her fiancee's mind was heading.
Neither of them enjoyed the memories from those months apart. The memories of playing at happiness and being satisfied with the directions their lives had taken and the pain of missing the other. The memories of playing at happiness and being satisfied with the directions their lives had taken and the pain of missing the other.
Yuzu remembered their reunion like it was yesterday and as much as they hated it, both of them couldn't resist getting lost in the past.