Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own the characters they are entirely the work of J.K. Rowling.
Summary: While Remus is grieving the death of Sirius, he is surprised when Harry asks for his help. Luckily for both of them, Sirius has also provided unexpected help to those he cared about the most. Will it be enough to bring his godson and best friend through their grief.
CHAPTER 1. Hedwig
Remus lay on Sirius' bed staring at the ceiling, silent tears running down his face. He had spent most of his time since his fellow Marauder's death in this room, only eating when Molly Weasley bustled in with a tray and stood over him until he forced some food down. No matter how many times he wearily told her he was not hungry, she would not leave until he had eaten a sizable portion.
Over the last two weeks his thoughts had seesawed between his overwhelming sense of the loss of Sirius and wondering how Harry was coping. He knew as the Last Marauder it was up to him now to take care of Lily and James's son, and Sirius's godson, and help him get through this terrible time.
Harry had not left the house at Privet Drive for the whole two weeks since he had come home from Hogwarts, although he continued to write three-line letters to the Order at the right intervals. They usually consisted of, 'Yes, it's me. Dursleys still treating me all right. Harry.'
Harry had also written similar letters to his friends and they were becoming worried that he wouldn't talk to them about Sirius or whatever had happened after the incident at the Ministry of Magic. Remus understood how he felt when Molly and Arthur had also tried to talk to him about Sirius. He had also said nothing.
He thought back to his last conversation with Sirius and what Sirius had asked him to do if anything happened to him. Sirius, although he had not spent much time with Harry, still loved him as though he was his own son. He had been determined to make up for all the bad things that had happened to his godson. The old dog had made him promise under Marauders' oath to carry out these instructions.
Remus slammed his fist into the wall next to the bed, angry with himself for his failure to honour his best friend's wishes. But he just couldn't seem to get past his own grief and debilitating despair of being the last one of the Marauders left.
His melancholy thoughts were interrupted by a gentle knock on the door, "Go away I'm not hungry and I don't want any company. I just want to be left alone." Arthur opened the door and entered resolutely. "Remus, Hedwig's downstairs and she won't let anyone near her, not even Hermione, Ron or Ginny. Would you please come down and find out what's upset her?"
The only thought that registered in the werewolf's mind right then was, 'Oh Merlin, something's happened to Harry.' With that he almost flew down the stairs himself and into the kitchen where indeed Hedwig was swooping at everyone unfortunate enough to be in the room.
Soon as she saw Remus she made straight for him and landed on his shoulder. Remus carefully moved to the kitchen table where Hedwig alighted and stuck out her leg. With shaking hands he relieved her of the slightly damp parchment and opened it. The first thing he noticed was the bottom part's ink was a little smudged although still legible.
Worried by Hedwig's odd behaviour, he decided to read it silently to himself.
Dear Professor Lupin
I am writing to you as I feel that you are the only one I can trust and because you were close to my parents and Sirius and because you taught me things I needed to know.
Please come and see me, as I don't know how long I can keep it together. I really need to see a friendly face that is not expecting anything from me, or coddling me to death. Or pretending they understand what it's like to see someone you thought of as a parent killed in front of you. Or guarding me, keeping me caged and confined supposedly for my own good, I know what that did to Sirius.
I'll understand if it is too painful to visit the one who caused Sirius' death, if you don't want to talk to me then send a message back with Hedwig and I won't bother you again.
No matter what you decide, please don't tell anyone else what I said. I don't need any more of their kind of help.
Please come soon
Harry
It was Molly Weasley who finally got his attention, "Well is he alright?" she asked anxiously.
Lupin folded the letter and put it in the pocket of his threadbare jacket, before standing. "I am sorry everyone, but Harry has asked that the contents of the letter be kept between the two of us. However Molly if you would mind packing a food basket, I intend to go to Harry's and find out more. I would suggest that it would be in everyone's best interests, especially Harry's to allow me to do this and not follow me. Now if you don't mind I have to retrieve a couple of things from upstairs to take with me."
He had gotten to the door when a thought struck him and he turned back, "Tell Dumbledore that under no circumstances is he to interfere, unless he wishes to lose Harry altogether." With a nod of his head he was through the door, the stunned occupants of the kitchen finally came to their senses as they heard the stairs creaking above them.
A short time later at number four Privet Drive, Harry Potter was in the smallest bedroom sitting in the corner with his hands over his head muttering. Occasionally the words "Professor Lupin, hope he comes, blame me, all my fault" could be heard.
Then clearly, "Mustn't fall asleep, mustn't fall asleep, it will all start again if I go to sleep. I don't want to see it again. Please Merlin keep me awake, at least until Hedwig gets back, or Professor Lupin gets here."
His head was beginning to droop; he jerked it up and began the same mantra again. His stomach grumbled but he ignored it, knowing that if he ate he wouldn't keep it down. His eyes were stubbornly trying to close and he was just as stubbornly trying to keep them open.
Exhausted from lack of sleep and food, he thought it was just wishful thinking when the doorbell rang downstairs. He even thought he was probably just imagining raised voices before the sound of footsteps on the stairs, which stopped on the landing outside his room. There was a soft tap and a gentle voice, "Harry its me Professor Lupin, I came as soon as I got your message. May I come in?"
There was a raspy reply from the other side of the door, "Firstly answer a question only you would know." A cough then," When we were all in the shrieking shack during my third year, what was the secret Hermione said she kept for you?"
"That I am a werewolf. May I come in now, I promise I'm alone." Remus was sure now that Harry was anything but fine.
"It's unlocked, please come in and close the door." As he entered the room he noticed that it appeared to be empty. It wasn't until he closed the door that he found Harry in the corner looking more than a little worse for wear.
He placed the basket on the rickety desk and was at Harry's side in a couple of strides. "Harry, what happened here, have you been eating or sleeping at all?" He asked as he got his arms under the boy's back and knees, before carrying him to the bed.
"I noticed a closet in the hallway, is that where I will find fresh linen for the bed? No arguing just a straight yes or no will suffice?" The boy nodded his head slowly. "Then I will be right back, don't go away, will you?"
Trying to collect his thoughts Remus quickly gathered the fresh linen and made his way back to Harry's room as he got closer he heard through the open door, "Mustn't fall asleep, mustn't fall asleep, it will all start again if I go to sleep. I don't want to see it again."
'Oh Sirius, Lily, James give me the strength to help him. I promise that I won't let anyone hurt or use him again if I can prevent it." Then taking a deep breath he made his way into the room.
Harry hadn't moved from the bed but seemed to be shivering badly, it was then that Remus noticed what the teen was wearing. It consisted of an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts that were miles too big and looked almost like trousers on him.
He walked over to the battered old wardrobe and found an old bathrobe that had seen better days but was still serviceable. "Put that on and you can sit at the desk and eat something while I make the bed."
With that he helped Harry with the robe and seated him in the chair before opening the basket and pulling out the food he had brought. There were two thermos flasks, one of tea and the other of thick creamy chicken soup. Molly had thoughtfully marked which was which, so it didn't take long to have a bowl of steaming soup on the desk and a spoon in Harry's hand. However the teen's hand shook so badly he couldn't hold the spoon and his face had turned even paler at the sight of the food.
Trying not to sound worried, " Perhaps we should let the soup cool a little, and you can start with some tea and a little bread first." He grabbed a cup and poured some tea into it before holding it to Harry's lips, he in turn grimaced but took a tentative sip. Waiting to see if he could hold it down, before taking another sip, Remus was more than happy to let him set the pace.
"Do you think you could manage a little bread and butter now, Harry?" Remus asked hopefully as he also noted the shaking had lessened.
"I'm not sure I haven't been able to eat much over the last three days, but I guess I can try." His voice though still quiet had grown stronger.
"There are some bread rolls in here, I'll cut one up and butter it for you then you can just eat a little at a time, as you can manage it!"
Finally Harry had managed to eat half the roll and drink the rest of the tea, while Remus remade the bed. By that time the teen's head had fallen to his chin and his eyes had closed. Gently he lifted Harry up and placed him into bed, before pulling up the desk chair and placing it next to the bed. After deciding to leave the light on he took Harry's hand and settled down to wait the night out.
As he waited Remus recalled that fateful conversation with Sirius.
"Remus, if anything should happen to me I want you to take care of Harry for me. You'll be his only link to his parents; it is absolutely essential that you stay in his life and be there for him. It is obvious he can't go to Dumbledore or any of his so called teachers. As for his friends, they would do anything for him, but I don't believe they really know how vulnerable he really is. I have no doubt that Hermione would be able to identify some of his problems, but she is not old enough to really understand how to help him. As for Ron he has no idea how to see anything other than what he wants to see." He paused as if ticking off an invisible list.
"Sirius what about Ginny, she cares about Harry and doesn't let him wallow. She is good for him, surely." Remus replied quickly.
"Oh yes, she is a red-head and we both know how the Potter men are drawn to them like moths to flames. She will be important to him when he's ready, but he knows nothing of women, that is something that you and I have let him down on. He is nearly sixteen and he has no idea how to behave around women. Not like his father who knew exactly how to charm a woman except of course for Lily, still he knew what he wanted even before he turned sixteen." Sirius seemed to be warming to his topic now and plunged on.
The part-time dog turned to his bedside table and grabbed a black box before turning and handing it to Remus. "This is going to make it possible for you to help him and for him to finally get some respite from being the Boy-Who-Lived. It will also make him a little more independent and able to get himself out of trouble, although he does take after James in that respect."
Before he continued he put up a privacy spell so nobody would overhear their conversation. Once that was done the dark haired marauder opened the box, lifting an old fashioned ornate bronze key from the top.
"I remembered that I had this after Harry returned to Hogwarts after Christmas, James gave this to me the summer I spent with his family after my split from the Black family. He said it was a portkey to a summer cottage on one of the Potter Estates, he also said that only a Blood Potter or someone accompanying a Blood Potter would have access to the rest of the estate. It was to be a safe place for me if things got worse with my family. I've never used it, because I only just remembered where I hid it. I had Mundungus fetch it for me. Take Harry there as soon as possible after my death, it will be the perfect place for the two of you to get to know each other better and help each other."
"Sirius, I hate talking about you dying, what's brought this on?" Remus asked unhappily.
"Harry is my godson and that means certain responsibilities and needs have to be taken care of. If I don't do anything else right in my life then I will make sure that my death will not cause unnecessary hardship for either you or Harry. Anyway back to the box and my instructions." Sirius continued determined to get this said.
Throughout the rest of their conversation, he highlighted what he required of Remus. This included teaching Harry to be an animagus and to apparate, as well as more dark arts than he was currently learning. He also explained that as the estate was unplottable, Dumbledore and the ministry wouldn't find them and they wouldn't be able to trace any magic that was used. Sirius also suggested that he try Harry with Wandless Magic. As well Remus was also to teach the manly things that a father would. But the most important thing was to help Harry have some fun and get some enjoyment out of life.
Finally he explained that apart from notes for the animagus transformation and how to apparate, there was a letter to Harry and plenty of money. It also contained the key to Sirius personal vault, as well as those for the Potter family at Gringotts Bank. He had left instructions that if anything happened to him that only Remus or Harry be given access to his vault. He had also appointed Harry as his sole heir, with Remus as trustee of his account until Harry turned seventeen and was legally able to take control himself. It would be up to Remus to educate Harry properly in the ways of the Wizarding world.
Remus looked over at the sleeping Harry and decided that they would leave as soon as his new charge woke up. He sighed, overwhelmed at the responsibility that Sirius had lain on him, but driven to succeed by thoughts of what could happen if he didn't. He was lucky that there was not another full moon for a couple of weeks, so they would have enough time to make some sort of arrangements to contain the werewolf.