"Remus, I'm not straight, bisexual, or gay… I am merely Remusexual. And you are Severusexual, yes?" Snape grinned, looking into the wolf's amber orbs.
"Severusexual…? Yes. I do believe I am." Remus returned his mate's grin. In the moment of silence that passed a giggle of a child could be heard.
"I must go, Severus… My next class is in 5 minutes." Remus didn't kiss the Potions Master, but gave him a small wink as he walked away down the corridor, his shabby robes billowing behind him.
"SEVERUSEXUAL. GENIUS PROFFESSOR." Brittany Black laughed, walking up to Severus, who smirked.
"Am I always not, Miss Black?"
"Wow." She mused. "Is it just me, or is your head getting bigger?" she asked, a smirk appearing on her pink lips.
"It depends on what kind of -head- you're talking about. I can imagine deliciously vivid scenes of another kind of head."
Brittany's eyes widened. "Oh dear sweet Merlin. Why?"
Professor Snape smirked again. "I'm sure Professor Lupin would like to make -this- head smaller. Excuse me, Miss Black."
The girl grimaced. "I'd rather not know any of Professor Lupin's, ah, personal preferences."
"Yes. I'm sure you'd rather not see us. My head is really big."
"Oh God. Stop. Mental images!" Brittany exclaimed.
"I never knew you were turned on so much by my words that you would call me a God. That only happens to my werewolf."
Brittany retorted sarcastically. "Oh, for sure. I can't hear you say a word without being turned on."
"Of course." Snape replied coolly, "it's not everyday you hear a man recalling his sexual encounters with another man."
"True, true." She said her tone still very sarcastic. "It's incredibly arousing. You should write a book."
Snape's brow rose. "That sounds like a good idea. But why don't you write a book? Being a good little voyeur does have its advantages."
"No… You should write a book. First hand accounts and all… And for the record, I don't get sexual gratification from watching others having sex."
"The best come from those who watch… or listen…rather than those who do it on a regular basis."
"Well, we all know what you do on a Friday night. Watch and listen to people having sex. You sure lead a fulfilling life."
The Potions Master laughed. "Oh, how rumors grow. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, Miss Black, but contrary to popular belief, I fail to see or hear people having sex. Students are so smart; they now go for Silencing Charms and Notice-Me-Nots. You should clarify things before repeating them."
"Right-o." Brittany saluted in a mocking manner. "Waaait. How could you know charms are being cast unless you'd been going around trying to watch or listen?" Her brow quirked.
"It's called Patrol, Miss Black. Is the term foreign?"
"Yes. It sounds Spanish to me."
"Then you should brush up on your Spanish." He sneered. "A Slytherin cannot be as daft as you."
"I know what Patrol is, Professor." She huffed. "…Again with the mild insults? Careful Professor, people may think you like me."
"You're a Snake, after all. I'm supposed to like you."
"Doesn't mean you do though, does it Professor?"
"Give me one reason why I do like you, Miss Black."
Brittany paused, and racked her brains, "err… Because I'm highly entertaining and keep you on your toes with my gutter-minded wit."
"Oh, how I love you." Severus replied, sarcasm dripping off each word.
"Love. Hey, hey Professor. Don't get ahead of yourself"
"I wouldn't dare, Miss Black. I've got no interest for the kind with mons."
"I'm glad to hear it?"
"You should be."
"I thought I should." Brittany nodded lots, getting her point across.
"At least you're thinking."
"I always think."
"Interesting theory."
"Theory?" she scoffed. "It's fact."
"For a fish."
"Are you implying I'm a fish?"
"You've got the brain of one."
Bri glared at the Professor. "You're just lovely." She snapped. "Throwing out compliments left, right and center."
"Absolutely lovely," he smirked.
"A real ray of sunshine," she continued.
Severus stood silently, not saying anything.
Brittany blinked repeatedly, looking at him.
"So now that you've got nothing to say you're resorting to blinking like a codfish? How fitting." He finally spoke.
"So now you have no decent insults you're going to comment on how I'm like a fish? How pathetic."
"Not really. I did say your brain was like a fish, didn't I? Just shows that it's not only your brain that is"
"Whatever you say."
The Potions Master didn't say anything.
Brittany reached up and patted his head. "There, there Professor. You're not the first person I've made speechless."
"I wasn't speechless."
"You could have fooled me."
"You did say 'whatever I say'. So I chose not to say anything."
"I hate you and your logic."
"Thank you."
"Err… You're welcome. I think."
"That was rhetorical."
"Mhmm," she nodded, and turned on her heel and walked away. "Bye Professor."