How To Treat A Hero
This is a post-Snow Day one-shot. Lindsay lives to regret offering to take care of Danny. He might be OOC, but I can almost see this happening.
She knew that men could be babies when they were sick, but she never took Danny Messer as one of those men.
"Lind-say!!"
Silence.
"Lind-say! Come on, I'm dying here!"
A very perturbed Lindsay entered the living room wearing yellow rubber gloves and holding a toilet brush.
"What, Danny?"
"I called you a million times, where were you?"
"Well, let's analyze this. Yellow rubber gloves, a toilet brush…maybe I've been applying makeup for a night out?"
"Not funny, Montana. I've been injured in the line of duty, I'm in a lot of pain, and you're ignoring me. I need some attention, Lindsay," he whined.
When Danny had come home from the hospital, Lindsay felt privileged to take care of her hurt comrade, her best friend, her boyfriend. Once the drugs wore off, the regression began. He whined, he fussed, he threw tantrums when he didn't get what he wanted when he wanted it. She had never seen Danny act that way; she didn't know that he had it in him. He needed to be exorcised. I need an old priest and a young priest.
"Danny, I'm trying to clean up a bit…"
"My place is clean!" he said defensively. The first thing on his agenda on his off day every week was to clean his apartment, so he knew that whatever she was doing wasn't urgent.
"You told everybody that you were going to take care of me and you're not. Why are you ignoring me? Come here." He gestured to the empty spot next to him on the couch. "Sit down."
Lindsay stepped back into the bathroom to deposit the toilet brush, remove the rubber gloves, and washed her hands before walking over to the couch. She knew that she would never have any peace until she acquiesced.
Her exasperation was plainly evident on her face and in her voice. "Yes, Danny?"
"Hold me, Montana. I need you."
"Danny, why are you so clingy? That's not like you at all."
"Lindsay, I saw my life flash before my eyes and I was scared. Don't leave me alone." He sounded like a six year old.
Lindsay rolled her eyes and wondered how her very strong and masculine partner had turned into such a baby. Sure, the events that occurred a couple of days prior were enough to knock anyone off kilter, but he had taken it to a whole new level.
"You're not alone and you haven't been since…"
"Since I was tortured and had to save the lives of some of New York's finest, including yours. I would call someone who did that a hero and would give him anything he wanted. Here I am asking for a little of your time and I can't get it." He shot her a pointed look that seemed to say, "You owe me."
"Okay, what do you want to do?"
"Make some popcorn and we can watch a movie."
"Fine. Popcorn and a movie it is." Lindsay got up from the couch to make the microwave popcorn.
CSI:NY
"Montana, I'm thirsty. I need water."
"Danny, there's nothing wrong with your legs; get up and get it yourself."
"Need I remind you that I was tortured and I…"
Lindsay finished his spiel, "Had to save the lives of some of New York's finest, including me. I know, I know. Danny, at what point are you going to stop pretending you're an invalid and do some things for yourself?"
Danny pouted in silence. Lindsay's voice softened.
"Danny, tomorrow I have to go back to work. You're going to be on your own all day and that means that you're going to have to take care of yourself, alright?"
Danny didn't respond.
Although Lindsay was still somewhat worried about him, she felt a bit of relief that she would no longer feel obligated to stay with him all day. Going back to work would be a welcome change, and the more hours she had to work the better.
CSI:NY
Lindsay was off to work bright and early with an extra bounce in her step. It was as if she had been granted parole.
Flack flagged her down in the hallway. "Hey, Lindsay. How's our boy doing?"
"He's…he's," she couldn't say anything but the truth, "he's aggravating! You would think that every bone in his body was broken. It's 'Montana, get me this,' 'Montana get me that,' 'I need some attention.'"
Flack burst into laughter.
"It's not funny, Flack. You should try spending a couple of days listening to him whine about how he's not getting treated like a hero. It gets old after a while."
Flack's eyes widened. "He's not getting treated like a hero? You've gotta be kidding me."
"I'm not. I know his speech by heart. He talks about how he saved the lives of some of New York's finest, including me. Coming to work feels like a vacation." Just then her cell phone rang.
"Monroe."
"Lindsay, I need you."
"What do you need, Danny?" Lindsay pointed at the phone and rolled her eyes, which Flack thought was hilarious.
"Who's laughing?"
"It's Flack."
"Did you tell him how you've been neglecting me?"
"I am not neglecting you, Danny. Look, just tell me what you want."
"I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat. Can you bring me something for lunch?"
"Why don't you have something delivered?"
"I want something from Ray's. They don't deliver."
"Danny, I'm working on a case now, I can't just..."
"Nevermind," he said in a huff.
"Fine Danny. You'll get lunch from Ray's. The usual?"
"Yeah. And Lindsay?"
"Yes, Danny?" she said wearily.
"Thank you."
Lindsay flipped her phone to disconnect the call and grunted in a very unladylike fashion.
"You ready to hand him off?"
"To the highest bidder."
"I have an idea…"
CSI:NY
Danny heard the door unlock and open.
"Lindsay, you made it. I was starving. You were supposed to be here…"
"Oh, quit your whining, Danny! I see why Lindsay's so happy to be back at work."
"Stella? What are you doing here?"
"Lindsay asked me to bring you lunch. I agreed because I wanted to see for myself that you had actually turned into a whiny baby. Wait 'til the guys downtown hear about this." She shook her head as she looked at him with mock pity.
"Stella, I was tortured and…"
"Danny! Get off your ass and quit looking for sympathy. You guys make me so sick. You want to act all macho, but as soon as you get a paper cut, you need someone to wipe your butt for you. You're taking advantage of Lindsay and you're making her miserable."
Danny was too shocked to speak. Stella, when angry, had that affect on him.
"This is what's going to happen: Lindsay is banned from coming over here for a week. If you want to see her, you have to go to her apartment. If you need help, you'll call me or Flack – not Lindsay. One of us will determine if you really need help and will act accordingly. Got it? No more cooked meals, no more house cleaning, and, sorry dear, but no more sponge baths."
Danny didn't know how this got all turned around on him.
"But Stella, I was tor…"
"And if you say that one more time your mother's going to have to ID your body. Got it?"
Danny nodded meekly. He knew that he couldn't win with Stella.
"Eat up, Danny boy. You'll need your strength because you're going to be back to work in a couple of days. If you have a problem with that, take it up with Mac."
Stella and Danny stared at each other for a few moments.
"Do you need anything before I go?"
"No. I'm good," he answered quietly.
"I'll let Lindsay know you're okay. If you need anything, call me or Flack. Just remember, Lindsay's been instructed to turn all of your requests for assistance over to us, as per Mac." Stella walked over to the door.
"Lock the door behind me, Danny."