A/N: This is based straight after episode 6 of series 3, when Martin has accused Louisa of snoring. Thank you to Griffinstar for taking the time to have a look, making some good suggestions and assuring me that it was worth posting on here!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or Doc Martin, unfortunately. I'm only playing with them for a short while!
Rating: T
A Silent Night
By
Littleguinea
"Um, no I'm sorry Louisa, I just can't - well what I mean is I can't…do it, whilst…"
Louisa was now becoming rather irritated and interrupted him sharply, "Martin, you are the one that accused me of snoring, so you have to put up with the consequences," she snapped.
Why were women such an enigma, he wondered. With Louisa he never seemed to be able to say the right thing and he had managed to insult nearly every female patient in his practice, without really trying. Mind you, most of them deserved it… hormonal hypochondriacs.
Also, Pauline, and for that matter all of the irritating teenage girls that would insist on loitering outside his surgery, thought he was a "tosser".
Martin sighed as he lay there, perplexed by the complete ingratitude of the female species. After all, he was only ever trying to help.
"What's the matter Martin, can't you get in the mood," smirked Louisa, as she rather cruelly rubbed her nose against his. "Can't you just, go with the flow," she sniggered.
"Well, it is just, well, erm I… actually, no" was his flustered reply.
"I really don't see the problem, after all, here we are, in my bed- together…practically naked," she purred as she trailed her finger tips across his stomach, which tensed under her touch.
Swallowing hard, Martin replied, "Yes, and ordinarily that would be enough to evoke a heightened emotional response, but…"
"But what," she stared at him intently, making him feel decidedly uncomfortable.
"It's- it's that thing you're wearing," he replied, pointing at her nose.
"Well, you did tell me that if we were going to spend nights together that I had to wear them."
"Hmm, when you are about to go to sleep- not when you are about to, well, um…" he stuttered awkwardly.
"Have mad passionate sex with the grumpy local doctor," Louisa suggested, helpfully.
"Will you please stop finishing my sentences for me," he barked at her.
Martin blushed at the rather graphic words that she had used. He still couldn't quite believe that she had agreed to marry him, let alone allow him into her bed so eagerly.
He was no expert in the bedroom, but Louisa had certainly opened his eyes to what he had been missing all these years. It turned out that he was rather good at it too, as Louisa seemed more than contented with his "skills"… up until now.
Louisa looked down at Martin's still flushed cheeks and ears. If he thought that she was going to let him off lightly then he was very much mistaken.
She was insanely attracted to him, but how many other insults could he manage to throw at her. She shuddered as she recalled some of his more memorable observations. He'd accused her of having bad breath, being an erotomaniac, smelling of urine and now, to top it all after they had finally consummated their relationship, he said that she snored!
Louisa felt sure that she had never snored in her entire life. She hadn't really had that many intimate partners but those that she did have had never complained about her snoring.
She actually thought that Martin should just be jolly well grateful that he was finally getting some action. His Aunty Joan had often dropped rather unsubtle hints to her that his plumbing hadn't had a good seeing to for several years, a bit unkind Louisa had thought… at first.
"What's that condition called… hmm, oh what is it -oh yes, erectile dysfunction is that what you're suffering from?" Louisa just about managed to say with a straight face.
"Oh really- it most certainly is not," blustered Martin indignantly, as he sat bolt upright and swung his legs over the side of the bed, so that he was now sitting with his back to Louisa.
"If you are going to insist on punishing me for trying to make our nocturnal arrangements more comfortable, then I think it is time I left," he said, as he started to reach for his clothes which he had thrown off rather hastily as they'd stumbled into her bedroom.
Of course his ardour had been well and truly dampened as soon as she had returned from the bathroom, wearing the offending article.
Louisa knelt up and placed her arms around his neck, resting her chin on his left shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Martin, but I was actually a little bit hurt by your gift," she answered him honestly.
He turned so that he could now look into her eyes. Louisa could see Martin was hurt too, and she started to regret having carried her little game on for so long. She should just have dropped it after she'd put the wretched thing on in Bert's restaurant.
Martin reached up and gently peeled the nasal strip off her nose.
"There, beautiful again," he whispered, as he started to nuzzle her neck.
Once again, he had managed to astound her by how caring he could actually be when he tried and the shudders that ran down her spine were now ones of anticipation rather than dread.
She pulled him back down onto the bed and took great pleasure in continuing where they'd left off, before her diversion to the bathroom.