AN: Big thank you to Super Cara who looked over this! Hope you all enjoy!
Happy Readings!
Disclaimer: Nope
Cookie Dough, Notebooks and Couches
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, trying to get rid of the acidic taste. I flushed the toilet and stood up but when I did, I was hit with another wave of nausea and leaned back over the bowl. If this continued for the whole pregnancy, I was going to kill James
…if he ever came back.
No, Lily! Don't think like that. He will come back. He can very well come back any minute now.
Think positively!
~1 week later~
It'd been 2 weeks of pure torture. Two extremely long and incredibly lonely weeks since he left and only 1 week since I discovered I was pregnant.
At first I thought the throwing up was due to missing James but after a week of waking up only to throw up, I had my suspicions and they were confirmed with a simple pregnancy spell.
I hated Moody more than the throwing up. And I hated his stupid Order missions…especially ones where I wasn't assigned to go with James.
What bugged me more than the fact I wasn't assigned to go with him was the fact that James hadn't been in contact with me since he left. Jerk…
Why hadn't he tried to communicate with me? No owls with a message reassuring me of his safety had arrived and James himself hadn't used the two way mirror; Sirius was James' partner on the mission and allowed me to use his mirror in case James needed to contact me or vice versa.
And all my attempts of contact failed. He never picked up when I used the mirror and never wrote back when I sent an owl.
Every day I grew more impatient and my hatred of Moody increased each hour that James was away from me.
I needed James. I needed my husband. I needed the father of my unborn child here, with me, now.
I didn't even have my best friend with me. Alice, along with her husband, Frank, were accompanying James, Sirius, Moody and a few others from the Order on the mission.
Ugh, I just wanted to scream and pull out my hair. When was he going to come home?
I tried to compose myself, taking deep breaths, and headed towards the kitchen, knowing cooking would take my mind off things. It was mid afternoon and I was hungry for cookies.
Mmm, homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Double chocolate chip? I didn't even need to think twice about that; the more chocolate the better.
I gathered the necessary items from the cupboards and started mixing the items together when a sudden memory flashed into my mind.
I was in the kitchen, making cookie dough, pouring the rest of the chocolate chip in the bowl when I heard James pop into the living room.
"Hey, honey! I'm making chocolate chip cookies!"James walked into the kitchen, wrapped his arms around my waist, placing a kiss on my neck.
"They look good." He reached over me, dipped his fingers into the dough, grabbed a small handful and popped it into his mouth.
"Hey! Wait until they're cooked! You can get sick from the raw eggs."
I felt James laugh.
"Lily, I've been eating cookie dough since birth. My mother made cookies all the time and I always stole a couple handfuls. Never been sick before and I doubt I'll get sick now. I'm as fit as a hippogriff. Have you never had cookie dough before?" He unwrapped his arms around me and went to lean against the counter to look at me.
"I have! Tuney and I ate it all the time when we were younger but then one day, Tuney got really sick from it and I've been terrified to eat some ever since." James grabbed a small ball of dough and held it out to me.
"Open your mouth."
I shifted my weight to the other leg, hesitant.
"Er..."
James raised an eyebrow. "Is Mrs. Lily Potter, from the great and brave house of Gryffindor, Head Girl in her 7th year, the only girl to refuse James Potter in all of Hogwarts history, afraid to eat a little bit of cookie dough?"
Yup. That about summed it up perfectly.
Fight Voldemort? Sure, in a heartbeat.
Eat cookie dough? Uh… You can thank Petunia for that.
"Maybe later." James held the ball of dough out to me for another few seconds, allowing for me to change my mind, before shrugging and placing it in his mouth.
"Your loss."
I stared at the finished cookie dough before me. I hesitantly took a small handful and placed it in my mouth.
Oh my.
It was good, very good. I felt like a little kid again.
James was right, it was definitely my loss. I stopped chewing.
James…
I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was instantly reminded of why I making cookies in the first place.
I left the kitchen and plopped down on the couch, placing my head in my hands and let the tears fall.
All my fear came back to me. I knew the mission wasn't that dangerous, simple surveillance, but I couldn't help the feeling of dread and worry that sat in my mind and stomach.
I was literally sick from worry. That and being pregnant wasn't helping. The morning sickness was death. It made it ten times worse that James wasn't even here to comfort me. Or buy chocolate.
"Lily?" I snapped my head up at the sound. Through my blur of tears, I saw Remus standing in front of me.
"Oh, Remus. It's you. Didn't even hear you come in."
He must have seen the tears on my face because he quickly came over to the couch, wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close to him. Although Remus was not James, he was my good friend and I needed a friend so I cried while he held me. My body shook with my sobs. He didn't need to ask what was wrong. He knew.
I'm not sure what happened but I let everything I'd been feeling come out.
"He hasn't contacted me at all! What if something went wrong and he's dead? What if he went out alone and a Death Eater found him and killed him without a second thought and dumped his body somewhere? Never to be found. What if he's been –" Remus stopped me before I could come up with other horrible and devastating scenarios.
"Shh, Lily. Everything is going to be alright. If something happened, I'm sure you would know. Dumbledore would have told you." I sniffed, knowing he was right but it didn't help the pain I felt in my chest; in my heart.
"I need him, Remus. I'm…pregnant." Remus pulled me away from his embrace to look at me.
"That's amazing, Lily! I'm so happy for you guys! Does he know?" I wiped my nose and rubbed my eyes along my sleeve. I was a mess.
"No. I found out last week. I want to tell him in person. I haven't said anything in my letters. I don't even know if he's been getting my letters, though. He hasn't contacted me at all!" The tears flooded down my face. Remus brought me back in his embrace again, letting me get all my depression out.
When the waterworks finally stopped and was able to compose myself, I thanked Remus for being such a great friend and he left, making sure I was going to be okay before he did.
When I was alone again, I did the one thing I knew would help keep my mind off of things.
Clean. Muggle style. Let's just say, the house has never been cleaner these past two weeks. Cleaning took over my daily activities now-a-days.
Two hours later, I found myself cleaning the bedroom. It was mostly my stuff as James hadn't been home to leave socks or underwear on the floor.
Once the few items that were on the floor were picked up, I headed over towards my end table. I knew I had random papers and items in the shelf and I hadn't had any need to look through it. Just so I could continue cleaning, though, I decided to organize whatever was in it.
When I opened the drawer, I gasped. Inside was a notebook and taped on the front was a note.
From James.
My Lovely Lily Flower,
You found my present! You must be cleaning right now if you found this. And if you're cleaning, it means you're a terrible mess and the only reason the sexist woman alive would be a terrible mess, is because she misses her sexy husband. I wish I could be there, to comfort you, to wipe away your tears, to hold you in my arms and never let you go.
Ever.
This is a two way notebook. I'm sure you've heard of them. Padfoot and I used them all the time when we had detentions but were in different classrooms. I have the other notebook and so whenever you need to talk to me, all you have to do is write. And I'll answer.
Every time.
Hopefully, I won't be gone for more than a few days but Moody isn't sure what the time frame will be. Just remember, no matter how long I am gone, I love you and will always think you are my gorgeous, sexy wife.
Your Incredible, Forever Sexy, Husband,
James
Without wasting any time, I flipped open the notebook and gasped when I saw pages filled with writing. I leafed through the pages, looking at the dates posted. He had written to me, every single day since he left. Every day for 2 weeks.
I read each entry. He started each entry the same. "It's been this many days since I last had a kiss from you." It was a painful reminder of how long he's been gone.
He explained how he had gotten all my letters and desperately wanted to write back but Moody said the owls might be intercepted and couldn't risk it. He talked little of the mission, saying how Moody thought it wasn't safe.
He also mentioned some form of "sexy" in every entry. I laughed whenever he did and my heart swelled each time. Sometime, he just can't let go of his big ego. It could be quite amusing. He also ended each entry with the same thing: "Your Incredible, Forever Sexy, Husband, James."
As I read, there were two particular entries that stood out to me.
My Sexy Lily,
It's been 2 days since I last had a kiss from you. Two freaking, bloody, days. Two, incredibly long days…This has got to be a record going this long without kissing you. We'll have to make this up when I get back. We'll never leave the bed for days. *wink wink*
Today has been rough. I miss you so much, it hurts. It's so unfair that Frank and Alice have each other. Padfoot keeps making jokes about how whipped I am when it comes to you. He's just jealous.
I heard you today. Calling out to me through the mirror. It broke my heart to hear you sounding so distraught. I was about to pick up the mirror when Moody grabbed me by the shoulders, preventing me from going any closer, saying it was too dangerous. He said something about how "Talking to her would reveal our location and we can't risk it." I wanted to punch him in the face. You wouldn't do anything with that information! Of course then, Frank had to go over, pick up the mirror, all the while covering it up with a piece of cloth, and handed it to Moody.
Argh. I wanted to talk to you Lily. I hope you find the notebook I left. I love you.
Your Incredible, Forever Sexy, Husband
James
The second one made me laugh until my sides hurt; it was a typical James whenever he was bored.
Lily Sexy Potter,
It's been 9 days since I last had a kiss from you. I think I'm going to die. 9 days? That is extremely unacceptable. Before I die, though, I'm going to murder Moody for taking me away from my WIFE for this long and then I can die.
Wait.
No.
Scratch that.
If I died, then I'd have to wait even LONGER to get a kiss from you. Or a good snog.
New plan.
Kill Moody then apparate over to you and snog you senseless. After a good half hour of snogging on the couch, the floor, kitchen counter, and we'll even throw in the table in there because we've been sex deprived for waaay to long. I'd pick you up, you'd wrap your sexy legs around my waist, your hands running wildly through my hair, because I know how much you love my hair, and I'd lead us to our bedroom where we won't come out for years.
Yes, Lily dear. Years.
I'd go into more details *wink* but I'm afraid Padfoot will read this. Little prick. I don't need HIM to have those pictures of you in his mind. Ugh. You are mine. I'm allowed to picture my wife like that. Not him. *Shudder*
I love you, Lily Potter.
Lily Potter…sounds nice, doesn't it?
I miss youuuuu.
I love the name Lily. We'll have to name future daughter that. Maybe not for a first name because that could get confusing fast but as a middle name.
I love you more than Padfoot loves the End of the Year Feast. When are you going to find the notebook? Do you not miss me as much as I miss you? If you did, you'd be cleaning and find the notebook…maybe I should have left it in plain view. I know you never open the drawer…drat.
Lily, Lily. Lilylilylilylily.
I think Padfoot is about to smack me. I'm singing your name over and over.
…hold on. I need to smack Padfoot.
Hey Lilykins! Padfoot here! What's up? You should probably find the notebook soon otherwise I think Jamesiepoo here might go insane. The giant squid can sing better than him. Can't wait to see you again. I miss your cooking. And your cake. Mmm, cake.
Sorry about that, Hon. Padfoot had me pinned down and stole the notebook. He's taken care of now.
Crap, I have to go. Remember, I love you and can't wait for the day when we can put my plans I mentioned above into place.
Your Incredible, Forever Sexy, Husband,
James
Tears slipped off my face and onto the page when I finished the last entry; it was from yesterday. I quickly summoned a quill and before the quill even touched the paper, James was already writing.
Love? Are you there?
James? Is that really you? I'm so sorry I haven't written. I just found the notebook a few minutes ago. I miss you so much. Words can't describe how happy I am right now.
It's alright, Lils. I'm just glad you found it. Thankfully, we're all on break at the moment, so we can talk for a while. I miss you too and I love you.
I love you too. I can't believe you've written every day! You are truly amazing. The past 2 weeks have been dreadful.
Of course I wrote you everday! What kind of husband do you think I am? And I try to be amazing. When I get back, I'll show you how amazing I am. *wink*
I'll be looking forward to that. Guess what I did today!
Hm…you recolored the bedroom walls?
No. Why? Do you not like the current color?
It was the first thing that popped into my mind. I like the scarlet. So, what did you do if you didn't recolor the bedroom?
I ate cookie dough…
You did? And I wasn't there? Aww. Are you feeling sick?
No…it was amazing though. I'll definitely be eating more cookie dough now. You better watch out or there might not be any left over for you. Do you know when you'll be home?
Moody thinks in a few days, if we're lucky. We've accomplished a lot though. This mission hasn't been a waste. And don't worry about not saving any for me. I have my ways of getting my cookie dough. If you don't mind me asking, why were you crying?
How did you know I was crying?
The notebook was open and as I was walking past it, I noticed the page was damp. I went over to examine closer and knew you must have discovered the notebook and that you were crying. The tears went through just like ink does.
Why do you think I was crying? It's been 2 weeks since I've seen my husband; I've been a complete wreck. Today has been especially hard. Combine throwing up all morning with missing you and you get a horrible day. Remus was just over and tried to comfort me. But he's not you...I needed to get my mind off all the crap so I decided to clean after he left. I opened my drawer for the first time in months and found the notebook. The relief of finding a way to talk to you and hearing from you has put me in ecstasy.
Throwing up? Babe, what's wrong? I thought you said you weren't sick. Darn it, Lily, I wish I could be there right now.
I paused. Should I tell him about my pregnancy through a notebook? I was hoping I would be able to tell him in person. I had it all planned out in my mind how I was going to tell him.
Screw it.
I was going to tell him. I was an emotional wreck and I had no clue when I would see him again. He said it might be in a few days but that was Moody's 'few days' which could translate into another week. I wanted James to know. I needed him to know.
What do you think of being a father?
A father? You're pregnant? Lily! That's awesome! Darn Moody. If only I could apparate over and express my love to you right now. A baby? Wow. That's wonderful! Have I told you how sexy you are?
You might have…in every single entry you've written to me! What is it with you and the word sexy?
It's a word I find very appropriate to describe my sexy wife. And myself. When did you find out about the baby? Does anyone else know?
Last week. I never mentioned it in the letters because I wanted to tell you in person. And the only other person who knows is Remus. I just told him today when he was over. Gah, I think you should stun Moody and get your sexy butt over here. I need you.
Lily…don't tempt me. I find that idea very, VERY, intriguing. Moody would have my head as soon as he would wake up. And darn Remus for finding out before me. Oh, and Alice wants me to tell you congrats on the pregnancy. I won't even repeat what Padfoot said because it was just plain nasty…but true.
Alice! I've missed her almost as much as I've missed you. Give her a hug from me, won't you? And you have my permission to smack Sirius. My brain can only imagine what he said. I shudder at the thought.
All of a sudden, I heard the familiar sound of some one apparating outside. I snapped my head up and looked towards the window. It was nighttime and I swore, I saw a shadow moving outside.
I froze. Everyone who knows James and I know they can apparate inside the house. That meant someone who didn't know James and I was here. Now. Outside my house. My first thought flew to Death Eaters.
James! Someone is outside! They just apparated.
WHAT? Are you sure? Can you see who it is? Where are you?
No, it's too dark. I saw them pass by the bedroom window. I'm in the bedroom rig
I felt a chill run up my spine when I heard a door opening. The front door.
They just entered the house!
Lily, stay right where you are. Do not leave the bedroom!
Was he serious? That was the last thing I planned on doing. If a Death Eater was in my house, I was not going to hide. I was going to fight.
Setting the book down and grabbing my wand, I made my way to the bedroom door. I slowly opened it, peered out to the hallway and saw nothing. They must be in the living room, I decided. I opened the door all the way and creped along the side of the wall, wand at the ready.
I was a couple of feet away from being able to see into the living room when someone walked into my field of vision.
I screamed bloody murder and was about to shout out a hex when I realized who it was.
It was James; with an open notebook and quill in hand.
"Babe, I told you to stay in the bedroom."
I couldn't believe my eyes. I was filled with anger at my husband, who just stood there, smirking!
"James Potter, you prat!" I yelled. I ran up to him and used all my weight and force to punch him in the arm. He started rubbing his arm as I continued screaming, not allowing him to get a word in.
"I can't believe you! That was not funny! You freaking almost gave me a flipping heart attack!"
Instantly, realization hit. James was back. He was home. After 2 weeks of sleeping in bed alone, he was right in front of me.
My brain wanted me to continuing screaming at him, for scaring me like that, even to add a couple of hexes in there, but my heart had a completely different plan and it suddenly took control.
I jumped into his arm, wrapped my legs around his waist and in no time, my lips crashed into his. James responded immediately. He must have dropped the notebook and the quill, because his arms wrapped themselves around me, pulling me closer to him. I moaned when he slipped his tongue into my mouth, tasting me.
Merlin, I missed this.
My hands tugged his hair and I smiled when I felt him moan. Life was good again.
James led us over to the couch, where he dropped me and placed himself on top. We continued our snogging, our lips moving together in perfect sync. I hitched a leg over his hip, needing to feel closer to him, and our legs soon became intertwined together.
When his lips left my mouth, they didn't leave my body. He kissed his way down my neck and paused at a sensitive spot to suck. Fire ran through my body. I loved this man. Very much.
Suddenly, I was confused.
"James, I thought you said you weren't coming back for another couple of days." He lifted his lips off my neck and began covering my face with kisses.
"I lied. Today was our last day. We were packing when you began writing. I had already packed so I spent the time talking to you. When everyone was done, Moody gave the okay to apparate back. I decided to have a little bit of fun. I'm sorry I scared you. Wasn't expecting to get punched, though. I was hoping you'd stay in the bedroom so I could surprise you there. But this couch will do."
I still had a few other questions but feeling James' body over mine and with his lips coming once again back to my lips, my mind went completely blank.
Next time I saw Moody, he was going to get it. I was going to hex him into next century for depriving me of this; of James, my husband, the father of my unborn child.
Unbeknownst to Lily and James who were currently being very passionate on their couch, Sirius, upon reading that Lily had made cookie dough, apparated over into their kitchen, found the cookie dough, and disapparated away with the bowl in hand.