Title: Beloved
Rating: PG
Pairing: Tony DiNozzo x Timothy McGee
Contains: Angst, Sickness
Author's Note: I had to put on Beloved by VNV Nation to help me write this one. I suggest you check out that song too. It's beautiful.
Beloved
Tony pushed the wheelchair through the hallways of the hospital. In the wheelchair was Tim, his boyfriend, he was very thin, pale and wore a knit cap on his head also. Tony frowned as he pushed the chair, going by rooms of sick people. It was depressing. Especially when Tim had to be there.
He wheeled the chair outside in a sitting area. He locked the wheels so Tim wouldn't roll away. He sat down on a bench next to the wheelchair and let out a sigh as he looked at his boyfriend, "How are you feeling?"
Tim didn't look at him, he watched the other sick people walk by, "Tired."
Tony reached out and gently grabbed Tim's hand, "They told me you were doing better…"
"I think they tell you that so you wouldn't worry…" Tim looked over at him, frowning, "The cancer isn't gone yet…"
Tony's chest tightened, he hated that word. Cancer. He squeezed his hand, "You'll get through it, I know you will."
Tim looked down at Tony's hand, he felt it shaking, "It's nice out today." He said to change the subject, knowing it was upsetting Tony.
"You should take off your hat, get some sun…" Tony said softly. Tim nodded to tell Tony it was alright. Tony grabbed the knit cap and took it off slowly, exposing Tim's bald head. He put the cap on his lap and smiled at his boyfriend, sadly.
Tim looked over at him, and tried his best to smile. It hurt him to see Tony upset. After a few minutes he swallowed to find his throat was dry, "I need some water, Tony."
Tony nodded and unlocked the wheels of the chair, he went behind it and before pushing he put on the knit cap on Tim. He pushed it back inside and made his way back to his private room.
Once inside he helped him back into bed, and put the IV bag back where it was needed. He tucked him in. He poured him a cup of water and held the straw to his mouth. Tim took a few sips, "Thanks…"
Tony nodded and set the cup down. He pulled up a chair to the bed and sat down with a sigh. Tim looked over at him. Tony looked beat, he would only go home for a few hours to shower and take a small nap and return back to the hospital. He would end up falling asleep in the chair. Tim knew that Tony wasn't eating as much as he should, or getting enough sleep. He would tell Tony that he was going to be fine and that he should leave for more than just a few hours. Tony refused to.
Tim figured that Tony was scared that he might get worse or even die when he wasn't around. It broke Tim's heart. He wanted Tony to be happy and healthy. There were nights he wished that he just die in his sleep, so Tony would be relieved of his worries. He knew that it wasn't right to think that way but he was done. Chemo and the other treatments made him feel worse. He was just tired of it all. He knew he probably never feel normal again.
Tim coughed a bit and stared at Tony, "Go home, Tony."
"No…I'm fine." Tony said softly, trying his best to smile to reassure him. It wasn't working.
Tim turned his head to look out the window, "You need to take care of yourself…"
"I am fine, Tim." He said sternly, "I want to be here, with you."
Tim sniffed, feeling tears come to his eyes, "You need to move on…"
"What?" Tony leaned forward in his chair, "What do you mean?"
Tim started to turn his head but stopped, "I'm going to die, Tony. The treatments aren't working…you need to let me go and move on. You need to be happy."
"No…no…" Tony grasped Tim's hand, his chest felt heavy as tears came to his eyes, "I won't just move on…y-you're not going to die."
Tim looked at him, seeing the tears run down his boyfriend's face, "I want you to be happy…"
"I am happy!" Tony cried, "I only want to be with you…I-I…don't talk this way…please…" He used his free hand to wipe his eyes, "T-Tim…"
Tears ran down Tim's own face, this was the first time that Tony cried about what was going on. At least in front of Tim, himself. He slowly pulled his hand away from his boyfriend's.
Tony looked up at him, "Tim…"
Tim looked up at the hospital ceiling, and took a deep breath in, "I'm cold…"
Tony got up quickly and grabbed the extra blanket. He covered Tim with it and put his hand on his head, "Tim…"
Tim looked at him, "I'm sorry…for everything."
"Don't be…" Tony leaned forward and kissed his forehead, "I know you mean well…b-but…I can't just leave you."
Tim frowned, but didn't say anything. Tony fixed his knit cap, "Promise not to talk that way again?"
Tim nodded. Tony smiled painfully, "I love you, Tim."
Tim's heart broke at the sadness in Tony's voice as he said it, "I-I love you too."
Tony went and sat back down at the chair and held Tim's hand. He turned on the TV to the shopping channel and they watched in silence. Tony watched intensely, his mind reliving the day Tim told him he had cancer.
Tony stopped by Tim's place. He brought over some Chinese take out and some beers. He stood at the front door waiting for Tim to answer. He grinned to himself as he had the whole night planned out.
Tim opened the door and smiled at him. Tony greeted him and followed him inside. Something was off with how Tim had smiled at him. Everything seemed normal as they ate the Chinese and watched a movie. Tony noticed there was something in the air that made him a bit uneasy.
Once they finished the movie, Tim turned off the TV and let out a sad sigh. Tony frowned and looked over at him, "Hey, are you alright?"
Tim looked at him; Tony could see he was very upset, "I got some bad news…from the doctor…"
Tony's eyes widen. He knew Tim wasn't feeling all that great and went to the doctor to get a check up. He grabbed Tim's hand, "What is it?"
Tim looked down at their hands; he swallowed a bit finding that he wanted to cry. He trembled a bit, "I…I…" The tears came down, "T-Tony…I have…cancer…"
Tony stared at him in disbelief, "C-Cancer?"
Tim nodded as he cried. Tony wrapped his arms around him and hugged him close. This was not what Tony had planned on. He couldn't believe it. He was unsure on how to react to the news.
After five minutes of Tim crying into Tony's chest he told the older man he needed to lay down. Tony helped him to bed, telling him he was going to stay the night. He had to use the rest room before.
In the bathroom, he locked the door, and turned on the sink. He stared at himself in the mirror. Tim had cancer. His boyfriend had cancer. He knew what cancer did and how it would affect Tim. It scared him.
He went into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. He opened it with tears in his eyes. Inside was a simple silver wedding band. He had planned on purposing to his long time boyfriend. He clenched the box in his hand. There was no way now he could propose…he figured that Tim would refuse to marry him because he was sick.
He stuffed the box back in his jacket and splashed some cold water on his face. He knew the days ahead of him were going to be hard but he loved Tim too much to just give up on him.
Not even cancer would stop him from loving him.