Again she didn't chose me. It's hard to see her go for the others, but I hope this time around she choses me. First it was Jaehee, then Zen and Yoosung. Now she is going out with Jumin. I know I have to keep my distance since that's what will make her happy. If I leave her alone in their route then she can be happy with them and won't have to be burdened by my feelings, but, damn, I didn't realize it could hurt so much to see her, the one I love, continuously choosing someone else in the RFA over me.
Gaah! I know I shouldn't be complaining because someone like me, someone like me who lives such a dangerous life doesn't deserve her. She is so bright, a ray of sunshine. She can't reach this shithole I live in. I don't deserve to bask in the beautiful world she lives in. I don't need to see the open sky. I can survive down here in this bunker alone. I don't want to get her caught up in my complicated life and taint her. I can't drag her down here. I can't do that to someone I love, so I have to be the cheery Seven Zero Seven in the chat today. I have to tell jokes and make her laugh. I can't let her see the me who works in this dirty place and I can't let her know of the me that loves her no matter which route she chooses.
Okay. Okay! Get yourself together, Luciel! I've got to put on that cheerful face and type out joke after joke tonight in the chat. No matter who she chooses this time I can still be content with making her laugh at my jokes. Yeah...content…
…I wish she would choose me…