Remember the first time your parents let you take a shit on the toilet after using your Barney potty training sit? Sai does. In fact, he still thought of it today, particularly the time in 1991 when his mom was playing a Wu-Tang Clan song in the background with thick smoke filling the room. She was smoking a bong and making deep-fried sushi. Sai loved thinking of the time he was on the changing table, looking at his mom's perm that she wasted half of her monthly salary on just so she could find a sugar daddy to afford her guilty pleasure of buying Fabergé eggs. By the time he was in 4th grade in the autumn of 1998, his mom had 43 eggs that costed at least $280. Some were close to $5000. Everyone thought Sai was rich, but the truth is his mom filed bankruptcy four times before hitting 35 years old since she bought so many damn Fabergé eggs.
When Sai was in 4th grade, he asked Mrs. Robinson for some money for lunch and she slapped him upside the head with a corn on the cob and claimed that Sai was a racist for believing that Al Sharpton was the reason why Gina Lollobrigida was no longer in popular movies. But now things have changed. Sai was 16 years old and was about to start his second year at high school. He was convinced that no one would beat him in a game of ping pong again, not while he still had an erection. Whenever Sai had an erection, he would often think of different balls and lose the game. Kinda like when Chingy was expected to win the Olympics in Oreo Dunking; it's a legitimate sport that involves being blind folded and a table has a cup of milk that is spinning like a centrifuge and the nigga's task is it to be abble to put your cookie in the cup within three seconds, and if you knocked it over, yo ass was eliminated.
It was the first day at class in Konoha. Sai was in the back of the class listening to Cocaine Business by Noreaga. He was hoping that one day, one day, illegal business would cause hysteria in Konoha and he could finally dream of getting a job at Pet Smart and finally...clean the fish tanks. Sai had a dream once where there was a lion fish in the saltwater section of the fish tanks and he was twerking next to them while wearing a kimono and holding a cigarette. He then dumped the cigarette into the water and the fish got out and slapped Sai's ponytail and flushed itself down the toilet. Good dream.
"Hey, you little fat gorilla monkey mouth bitches," said Kakashi as he took out his iPod and played the sound of a gong ringing. "We've got new students arriving today, and you know what that means. We gotta introduce ourselves or they will take even more of our funding away. They come from a place called Iwatobi, a town that has more interesting things than New York City, and that's saying a lot. I've been there. It's so fucking kinky, you little niggas."
"What are they doing here?" asked Shino with a sigh.
"For starters, you abomination to 80s fashion, raise your greasy hand before you speak, which I would probably not give you permission anyways because I think you're stupid. Secondly, they are here to start a swim club so you can be more active, you soon-to-be-obese tittydushes!"
"A swim club sounds so sexy!" said Ino as she clapped her boobs together. They made a sound similar to when you have diarrhea and it comes out all at once.
"Yeah, well, this is for boys, and not transgender ones, either," said Kakashi. He heard a knock on the door and he opened it and someone came in.
"Konichiwa, bitches!" said the voice. It was a guy with blonde hair and magenta eyes. He waved at everyone and said, "I'm Hazuki Nagisa and I'm from Iwatobi High School. I'm the treasurer of the swim club we had there and I specialize in the titty stroke!" Ino started laughing at this kid and Nagisa said, "Just kidding, it's the breaststroke." He stepped aside and someone else came in. It was a pretty tall guy with olive brown hair and cute green eyes. He had a sweet smile on his face and looked at the class.
"I'm Tachibana Makoto," said the next figure in a polite voice. "My specialty is backstroke and I was the captain back home. I love my boyfriend, Yamazaki Sousuke, much more than I love swim, and that is quite a lot! I'm hoping that you guys will be interested in enrolling in the swim club!"
Makoto moved to the side and a tall boy with dark brown hair appeared. He had beautiful teal eyes that looked tsundere like Sasuke, but he had a warm smile as he looked at his boyfriend Makoto. The dark brown haired boy sighed and said,
"I'm Yamazaki Sousuke. I'm from a high school in Tokyo, but I went to Iwatobi and I met my boyfriend and love of my life. I don't regret this decision at all."
Makoto gently nudged him and whispered, "Tell 'em what stroke you swim."
"Butterfly," said Sousuke. "Bitches."
Makoto just rolled his eyes. That Sousuke.
"So how many of you niggas are there?" asked Kakashi as he looked at the three of them.
"Five," said Makoto. "Here's the next member." It was a guy with dark navy hair and beautiful blue eyes but he, too, looked like he had taken lessons from Sasuke on how to be an emo.
"I'm Nanase Haruka. I swim only free." He moved over outta the way and the next guy came in. This guy had a pinkish red hair color and fierce eyes.
"I'm Shiina Asahi! I swim butterfly as well and I can't wait to race you little kiddies in the pool!" He closed his eyes and grinned at the others with pride, kinda like the way you took two hours to finish your calculus homework when it normally took five. Kakashi smiled behind his mask. They were so awesome and he wanted to fart just thinking about the piñatas they could make for Shizune's birthday.
"Okay! Anyways, you boys can take a seat on the other students' lap since I'll have to ask for some more chairs."
Haru went to sit on Ino's lap and she could feel herself getting wet from the sexy stud on her. Nagisa sat on Sakura and she farted as soon as he did that. Asahi went and sat on Shino, while Makoto got on Naruto's lap. Sousuke decided to get to the nearest person and it was Shikamaru. Shikamaru was gay and he started to get hard from the other guy on his lap and his erection protruded from his pants and poked the fabric of Sousuke's pants and underwear into his asshole.
"YOU'RE TOUCHING MY ASSHOLE WITH YOUR DICK!" screamed Sousuke with fury. A few people started to laugh at this, including Kakashi. No way. No way was Sousuke gonna let anyone touching his asshole. Only he touched assholes and prostates, but the only one he wanted was Makoto's he got off Shikamaru and grabbed him by the pineapple hair and threw him out of the window and locked it.
Kakashi finished tittering like a little school girl and said, "Anyway, today's lecture is about the Relationship of Chinese Literature and Basketweaving. I think this course will make you want to get out and vote for the next election." Kakashi put his hand over his mouth and laughed. "You can't! You aren't old enough!" He fell onto the floor and started laughing on his stomach, clenching his hands into fists and started repeatedly pounding the floor with his two fists.
"What the fuck," murmured Sousuke as he looked at Haruka.
"Um...is this guy okay?" asked Asahi as he looked at Kakashi.
"Yeah, he does that about...twice a day," said Sai as he looked at the redhead. "Why are you starting a swim club?"
"More people need to like the water," said Haru in a sulky low voice. "Do you...like water?"
Sai thought for a minute and shrugged his shoulders. "I like water, but I enjoy painting more."
Haru's eyes sparkled when he heard this. "I like this guy."
"What's your name?" asked Nagisa as he elbow the guy on whom he was sitting in the face. The guy was knocked out cold and Nagisa said oops.
"Sai. You can call me Ten Sai."
"Arrogant, aren't you?" said Asahi. "Is that really your name?"
"It's Oyamada Sai," said Sai. "I may...see how this club is."
"Great! We'll discuss this later," said Makoto with a gentle smile on his face. "We will see what you got after school."
It was 2:41 and Sai was standing outside of the building, waiting for the club members. In about three minutes, the five boys show up and look at Sai. Makoto had his trademark sweet smile on his face and had his arm around Sousuke's waist while Sousuke had a small smile at Sai. Sousuke was so damn cute, holy shit. Haruka looked bored and Nagisa and Asahi were trading Pokemon cards with one another.
"Hey, why are you wearing that weird top?" asked Asahi as he pointed towards Sai's fruity crop-top. The other four looked at Asahi and then at Sai and the truth was...they were thinking the exact same thing. Why was this shinobi wearing something that showed more stomach than a woman who was 35 weeks pregnant with triplets?
"Because it matches my personality," said Sai with a short sigh of relief. "What are we going to do?"
"First, we'll need to get you a swimsuit," said Makoto as he nodded.
"I have some at home," said Sai.
"It's probably a pair of boardshorts and that is a no-no," said Nagisa. "We'll go take you shopping!"
"Please tell me we're going to Rue 21 or Spencer's," begged Sai as he looked at Nagisa's shoes. Man, this cat had shoes like you wouldn't believe! They smelled like rotten egg salad that Benicio del Toro made for his French cooking class in 1985. Couldn't this idiot get some damn Febreeze?
"No, we're going to Sports Zero!" corrected Asahi. "We'll try on swimsuits together!"
"Uh..." was all that Sai said before Nagisa grabbed Sai's hand they started running as fast as they could to the train station and they got on.
In about twenty minutes, they got there and immediately went to the swimsuits. Legskins, jammers, full-body suits, swim briefs—there was a lot of variety, no doubt about it.
"So, Sai, have you ever worn any competitive swimwear?" asked Makoto as he began to push Sousuke away gently as the other was trying to kiss him repeatedly. Makoto loved it, but it was a bit awkward in public and Sai was looking at them.
"Uh, no, I've never swum competitively in my entire life," he admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Well, your body does look like it could withstand some heavy endurance," said Sousuke as he looked at Sai's body. This made the gay ninja scared because Sousuke was so large.
Asahi looked at Sai and said, "I know what you should try on. This!" he handed Sai a black speedo with a green stripe on it and Sai was wondering if it was appropriate to wear it. Apparently his crop top was a bit revealing, so now it was time to show off a bit of lower body. Okay, sounds fair.
He took the speedo and went into the changing room and put it on. It was surprisingly extremely comfortable and he enjoyed wearing it a lot. He started twerking in front of the mirror, but Asahi opened the curtain and Nagisa began recording it! Sai fell over on his ass, 92% naked as the guys looked at him.
"Sorry!" apologized Sai. "I was...dancing. Yeah."
"It's okay if you're gay," said Makoto. "Sousuke and I have no problem about it at all!"
"You really mean it?" asked Sai as he approached Makoto, getting a glance from Haruka.
"Yeah, I really do," said Makoto. "If you be a part of our time, Sai, we can be a family, so to speak."
Nagisa glomped Sai and put his hand on around Sai's shoulder. "Maybe you can paint us a picture of us since you like painting so much!"
"Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a good idea," said Sai. "I think I'll wear this speedo when we go swimming."
"Great! We'll get our swimsuits as well," said Asahi as the boys selected the kind of swimwear they would by. Sai had to shell out $25 for the swim briefs and they went to the local swimming club. All of the boys were stripped into their swimsuits as well. Sai was wearing said speedo he bought and Asahi was also wearing one as well, so at least it didn't make Sai feel as lonely. Nagisa and Haru where wearing jammers and Sousuke and Makoto were wearing legskins that went down to their crusty ankles. They all looked adorable.
"Sai-kun," said Makoto. "Why don't you show us how you dive into the water? We'll evaluate how well you do once you do that."
Sai was given a swim cap and goggles and stood on the starting block. He dove in and impacted the water like a fat person doing a cannon ball.
"What the hell?" said Sousuke. "That dive he did shouldn't have caused any splash!"
"Yeah, maybe the water doesn't like him," said Haru softly.
All the sudden, a gargantuan rumble was made under the water and a ton of bubbles came out from Sai.
"HOLY SHIT! HE FARTED IN THE POOL!" shouted Asahi as he began laughing. Nagisa began to join him as well and Makoto was stifling a laugh. Soon, a large rumble and a three foot geyser appeared over Sai.
"Da fuq?" said Sousuke as he watched this happen.
"Uhhh..." hesitated Makoto as he continued observing Sai. "His form is pretty good, it's just that..."
Sai finished his lap and came up to Makoto. "How did I do?"
Makoto gulped. He didn't even press start! Sai got out of the water and the others began to look at him.
"What's wrong?" he asked. But as soon as he finished his sentence, Sai let out a huge fart that made him fall forward and on the ground of the natatorium. Everyone was watching him and some kids said eww!