"Hello, there! Glad to meet you! Welcome to the world of Pokemon. My name is Oak. People affectionately refer to me as the Pokemon Professor. This world is inhabited far and wide by creatures called Pokemon. For some people, Pokemon are pets. Others use them for battling. As for myself-"

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! We've heard this lecture a hundred times already. It's getting old." A youthful teen wearing a red-and-white cap interrupts the old man in a lab coat's powerpoint presentation, leaning back in his chair. He looks over at a girl around the same age wearing a white hat. "Honestly, don't even know why we have to be here?"

"Don't you remember, butthead", the girl says as she flicks the boy's forehead. "If you hadn't decided to run off into the tall grass, we wouldn't be in this lecture to begin with."

"Yes, indeed. It's unsafe! Wild Pokemon live in tall grass! You need your own Pokemon for your protection", Oak said as he stares at the boy with a confused look on his face. "Are you a boy? Or a girl?"

"Umm... I'm clearly a boy. Want proof?" The boy was about to pull down his jean zipper when the girl smacked him on the head.

"Don't think any proof is needed", the girl said irritated. The boy took off his cap and rubs the back of his brown-head of hair.

"Errm, remind me again, what is your name?", Oak said scratching his graying hair.

"What do you have dementia or something? My name is-", the boy replied as the girl interrupted him.

"ASSFACE"

Oak gave a smile and nodded his head. "Are you sure that's your real name?"

"Absolutely". The girl smirked at the boy who was clearly pissed off.

"No, it's Ron!"

"ASSFACE, it is", Oak said with a full grin. Ron slumped back in his chair, pouting in anger.

"My name is Lindsay, by the way", Lindsay said cheerily as Ron passed a deadly glance at her.

"Good to hear. Now, Lindsay and ASSFACE, let me show you why I brought you here." Oak proceeded to shamble through his various desks, trying to find what he was looking for. Ron and Lindsay watched in complete disinterest. It took seven minutes until Oak finally found what he was searching for and proceeds to show it off to Ron and Lindsay. It was his balls. His three balls. His three Pokeballs. (Get your mind out the gutter)

"There are three Pokemon here. The Pokemon are held inside these Pokeballs. When I was young, I was a serious Pokemon Trainer."

"Yeah, millions of years ago, when everything was black and white and you needed a cable to trade", Ron jokingly said.

"But now, in my old age, I have only these three left."

"You seriously only have three of these", Lindsay said in disbelief.

"Well, I did find this yellow rat chewing on the power outlets in my lab. Not sure if you guys would be interested in him", Oak said.

"Naw, he sounds overused", Ron replied.

"Here are your options." Oak proceeds to open up each of the three Pokeballs, revealing the three Pokemon.

One of them was a little green dinosaur with a bulb on his back. Another was a little orange lizard with a flame on his tail. The last one was a little blue turtle. Upon seeing the three Pokemon, Lindsay immediately shot out of her chair, put her hands on her cheeks, and intensely squeed.

"Awww, these pokemons are so cute. I just want to pinch their itty-bitty cheeks", Lindsay said as she proceeded to pinch the green and blue pokemons' cheeks at the same time. She, then, pinched the orange pokemon's cheeks with both of her hands. The orange pokemon spewed fire in her face. Her face was a charred mess. "Okay, not picking that one."

Ron was laughing his ass off.

"Oh my god, that was amazing! I'm definitely picking that one!" Ron stood up from his chair and pointed at the orange lizard.

"So, ASSFACE, you're claiming the Fire Pokemon Charmander?"

"My name is Ron, old man, and yes, I am totally picking Charmander."

Suddenly, a spunky kid burst through the doors of Professor Oak's laboratory angrily marching towards Professor Oak.

"Gramps! I'm fed up with waiting! I want a Pokemon now!", complained the spiky-haired kid as Ron and Lindsay looked back at him. Lindsay was facepalming while Ron gritted his teeth and clenched his fists.

"Dammit, not this kid again", Lindsay said in annoyance.

"This is my grandson!", Oak said eagerly before looking confused, "Erm, what is your name again?"

"Come on, Gramps. It's me, Gary", the brat said in a concerned tone.

"Right! So your name is Gary! This is my grandson." Oak had a big goofy smile on his face.

Ron walked over to Gary, puffed up his chest, and tried to give himself a manly look on his face. He only managed to look like he needed to take a dump.

"Oh, I know about him alright. We've been rivals since we were babies", Ron said as he started to recollect early memories of Gary bullying him as a baby. Stealing his milk bottle. Knocking over his blocks. Spitting baby food on Ron's cute baby face. Truly traumatic.

Gary looks and sees Ron's new Charmander, "Ah, I see you already got your Pokemon. Looks stupid."

The Charmander gritted his teeth and clenched his fists in response. Gary, then, looked over and saw the blue turtle standing next to the Charmander.

"I'll take this one, then!", Gary said as he picked up the adorable turtle.

"So, you've decided on the Water Pokémon Squirtle?"

"Yes, Gramps, I have. My Pokemon looks a lot tougher than yours", Gary said as Squirtle proceeded to show off the cutest face imaginable.

Lindsay squeed at the result. Then, looked over the green dinosaur who felt sad cause he wasn't picked by the other trainers. Lindsay saw the Pokemon's loneliness and decided to pick him up in her arms.

"I'm guessing you're my Pokemon now", Lindsay said with a smile.

"So, you want to go with the Grass-"

"Yes, I do", Lindsay said in an irritated tone as she interrupted Oak's droning.

"Well, Gramps, I got to go start my Pokemon journey. I'm not going to be a Pokemon master standing next to these losers." Gary said as he is about to walk out of Oak's laboratory when Ron screams at Gary to get his attention. Gary turns his head back and sees Ron shaking in rage.

"Not yet, Gary. Do you really want to leave now without having a Pokemon battle first?", Ron asserted.

"Well, ASSFACE-"

"That's not my name!"

"If it's a battle you want, it's a battle you're gonna get", Gary said as he sent out his starter from his pokeball, "Go! SQUIRTLE!"

"Go! CHARMANDER!"

Lindsay walked over to Ronald's side with a cautious look on her face. "Are you sure you rush into battling so soon? You've never done a Pokemon battle before."

"You've never had a Pokémon battle before, have you? A Pokémon battle is-"

"Can it, Professor? I know what a Pokemon battle is. I've seen them on TV all the time. By the way, did you see that Gengar vs. Nidorino fight last night? It was sick. Besides, what's the worst that can happen?"

"SQUIRTLE, use BUBBLE!" Gary's Squirtle released a little bubble from its mouth that slowly floated towards Ron's Charmander. When the bubble hit Charmander's face, Charmander instantly fainted and fell to the floor. It's super effective! CHARMANDER fainted! After Charmander fainted, Ron was instantly knocked out and fell to the floor. RON whited out!

When Ron wake up, he could faintly see Lindsay's face staring at him in annoyance.

"Am I dead?"

"No, Ron, you just passed out after Gary kicked your ass in that Pokemon battle."

Ron looks around and sees that he is in his mother's living room, laying on the couch that she uses as her bed. He also saw his mother bringing a bowl of soup to the table in front of the couch.

"You really should be more careful next time. Pokemon battling can be very dangerous, especially in that tall grass." Ron's mother shivered at the thought. "Who knows what kinds of horrifying creatures lurk outside this town? Are you sure, ASSFACE, you want to leave town so soon? It's much safer here in Pallet Town."

"Seriously, Mom, you're doing this too. My name is Ron."

"Okay, ASSFACE", Ron's Mom said with an oblivious smile.

Ron muttered under his breathe while Lindsay was chuckling to herself. "Look, Mom, Pallet Town is a nice place but it's also dreadfully boring. There's nothing to do here. There's only three houses in this whole fricking town. And most of the people here just say the same shit over and over again. Mom, I want to go out and truly explore this Pokemon world! I want to be the very master of them all! I want to show the world I'm worth something!"

Ron proceeded to rise up in response to his own rousing speech, putting his left leg up on the table. "I WANT TO BE THE VERY BEST LIKE NO-ONE EVER WAS!"

Ron's mom gave a smile. "That's my ASSFACE. Always so dramatic. Fine, you've convinced me."

Ron sat back down on the couch. He, then, spent the next couple of minutes with Lindsay enjoying Ron's Mom's delicious Magikarp soup when Ron suddenly realized something.

"So what happened after I lost that battle?"

Lindsay scratched her white hat before recollecting. "Well, Gary spent a good 30 minutes laughing at your passed out body... AndthenhestolesomePokedollarsoffyourbody."

"WHAT?! He just stole money off of me while I was knocked out!"

"Well, that's what happens when you lose Pokemon battles. The winner takes a certain amount out of the loser's pockets. How else could we keep a stable economy?"

"You know I'm starting to think we're not living in a fully-functioning society."

"Oh, that reminds me. Professor Oak is looking for us."

"What does that old man want now?", Ron said in a pissed-off tone.

"I want you two to have something special before you begin your Pokemon journey", Oak said to Ron and Lindsay in his laboratory. "On my desk, there is my invention, the Pokedex! It automatically records data on Pokemon you've seen or caught."

Then, Professor Oak decided to give Ron and Lindsay his balls. His Ten Pokeballs.

"Here are some tools for catching Wild Pokemon", Oak said as he gave Ron and Lindsay five Pokeballs each. "You know it's been my dream to make a complete guide on all the Pokemon in the world!"

"Well, then, why don't you try filling out this Pokedex?", Lindsay questioned.

"Seriously, Lindsay, this man could get lost on a straight path. He wouldn't last a day in the wild."

"And two teens without basic survival training could?", Lindsay said further confused before Oak continued on like no-one was interrupting him.

"My grandson needs one of these Pokedexes as well. He just left my laboratory after he was done laughing at your unconscious body", Oak said as Ron angrily mumbled. "Man, that kid can be so forgetful... am I wearing pants?" Fortunately, Oak was.

In that very instant, Gary slammed through the doors and rushed into the laboratory.

"Gramps, just hand me that Pokedex and I'll be on my way. I just needed to borrow a Town Map from my sis!", Gary said before turning his head to Ron and Lindsay, "I told her not to lend you guys one! Don't bother coming around to my place after this! Smell you later!" Gary said as Oak gave him his Pokedex. Gary eventually left Oak's Laboratory laughing at Ron and Lindsay.

"Weird how he made such a big deal about that Town Map", Lindsay said bemusingly.

"That might be something to look into", Ron said curiously.

Ron and Lindsay decided to leave Oak's laboratory with their new equipment and brand new Pokemon.

"Bye, Professor Oak", Lindsay said while waving her hand.

"Yeah, thanks for the Pokemon, I guess", Ron said as he kept his hands down in his jean pockets.

"Bye, bye", Oak said as he watched the two leave his lab. "...Who the hell were those kids?"

It's every kid's dream to become a Pokemon trainer. To travel around the expansive regions of a world full of adventure and opportunity. Where the bonds of friendship will guide many through the toughest challenges for a worthwhile reward. To become a Pokemon master. And what Ron and Lindsay don't realize is that they are about to embark on a journey of fantastical proportions? Or at least a decently average amount of proportions? Give or take. Find out what happens in the next exciting installment.

TO BE CONTINUED...