Mwahahaha! I'm back… with a whole new story! Yes, that's right, a new story! And this time, it will hopefully be written with the aid of Catwytch (a brilliant authoress in the middle of writing a great Tamora Pierce fanfic, and a wonderful Artemis fowl one. I'd do an author search if I were you for her, coz what I've read I think is really, really good!). Anyway, this story is about Butler and Foaly, and they are trapped in…. well, I'm not going to tell you now. Otherwise there'd be almost no point in reading it! Is written in parallel to my other story (Place Witty Title Here), and you can read them in any order you like! (oooohh… aaaaaaahhh! Amazing!) Well, I've probably bored you enough with my "amusing chit-chat" so I shall leave the seat of spokesperson, and move over to being author. Cheerio, darlings!

Butler finally got bored of waiting outside the men's restroom and decided to venture in, in search of his charge. "Master Artemis? You in here?" It was 11:15, for crying out loud. Master shouldn't have taken twenty minutes to go to the lav.

He barely walked two steps into the room when an ominous clanging noise met his ears, sending his soldiers sense into overload. He spun on his heels, knowing what had happened. The door had simply shut. Nothing to worry about. He could just grab the handle, turn it, open the door and get out. If only things were that simple. Butler grabbed the handle. Check. Plans working so far. He then went on too turn the handle… SNAP! The pixie-sized handle broke off the door and lay in his over-sized hand, begging him to distort its perfect shape and wonderful craftsmanship.

Butler merely slid down the wall, blubbing reminiscent of a big girls blouse.

He was ensnared. In the gents. Of the LEP. And Artemis had no idea where he was.

Besides he had to get Artemis home in time for their tea party!

He had baked cupcakes and everything! He had even run a special trip to the dairy to get orange and mango flavoured juice boxes! Artemis's favourite! Though, it was still rather awkward that the LEP had chosen to abduct them for questioning on today of all days. Master Artemis did so love the weekly tea parties.

A few minutes later…

Hmmm… I should probably try calling for help. Why didn't I think of that before? He knew why. It's because Master Artemis always was the smart one.

"HHHHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP! I'M STUCK IN THE GENTS! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

It wasn't until fifteen minutes later that the brains of the LEP security system trotted in: Foaly.

"Righto, what's the problem in here? I got a complaint that there was a glitch in the system and that the first floor toilets were talking in –"

"Foaly, thank god it's you!"

"Well. Who the hell were you expecting, Mary sodding Poppins?" with a swift flick of his tail, Foaly swung the door, and thus the way out, shut.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"What the hell are you crying about, mud man?"

All Butler needed to do was present his fist to Foaly and show him the little door handle. What's the worst his reaction could be?

Foaly gasped like a girl, and then swore like a sailor. "D'arvit, you bloody stupid, fucking brainless, good for nothing, shit-headed mud man!"

"It's not my fault the handles were so goddamn delicate and not designed for people with larger hands." Sulked Butler.

"Well, that's because the People, unlike you, my hefty friend, have delicate little hands. And these delicate little hands are excellent for our delicate little handles."

"Ah ha ha ha. You're hilarious."

"Why thank-you. I do try ever so hard, just for you. It's great to know my great humour isn't wasted on the likes of yourself."

Yup, it's short. But I am trying to write longer chapters, honest! And with the help of Catwytch, the chapters WILL be longer. Look for me on under the pen-name of "doomsday fool" please review ;)