Like Taking Candy From A Baby
A/N: Old shortfic written in 2006 of June, revolving around the theme suggested by a friend of the quote mentioned in the title. And thus, Hustlefic was born.
I apologize if anything seems OOC; it's been two years since I saw the show properly. Feedback is appreciated!
"Aren't we a bit too old for candy, Mr. Blue?" Michael Stone questioned, arching an eyebrow as a blond man approached him to stand next to him. "Makes you look like a baby."
"Well, I'll be called baby then," Danny Blue replied coolly, twirling a small red lollipop in his hand. He tipped the striped grey fedora perched on his head as he leaned against the bus stop pole. "There's a sucker born every minute."
The older con man shook his head with a displeased groan, adjusting his brown tinted sunglasses. "Don't hint. I know you took it from that baby's stroller over there."
"Hey, it's taking candy from a baby." The younger con man smirked at Micheal, or Mickey Bricks, as he was infamously known as.
"Enough with the deliberate puns. You have much to learn. When they say it's 'like taking candy from a baby' - "
"Well, I get the point. Other point is, I don't have any gum with me, and my mouth is dry as Vicki's vagoo" – here Mickey grimaced in disgust very clearly at this expression – "so I might as well have a lollipop. Plus, the irresponsible one called 'mother' left it's child to her side." He shrugged. "The child was sleeping, it looks young enough to have no brain, it already had two pieces, so why not have one?"
Mickey looked at Danny coldly. "It's a child. It knows nothing. It's unfair. How can you pick on someone like that?"
"Stop your whinging," Danny sighed, pulling off his own sunglasses and placing them in his blazer pocket. He scowled. "As you said, it knows nothing. And we're con men. The pieces of the puzzle fit. So, what now, Mickey?"
Mickey plucked the round treat from Danny's hand. He raised it in front of his eyes. "This...this is a sugary object made of sugar, more sugar, and other contents just to make it even sweeter and even more sugary," he explained. "These are cheap. Now..."
He dropped that hand and raised the other hand, which contained a crisp bill. "This...this is £10. This can buy all the candy you want, plus, much more. Knowing you, money comes before food, right? Because one, it's obviously better. Two, money can buy food."
"Quit shoving your little lessons up my arse for once," Danny grumbled, snatching the lollipop out of Mickey's hand. "Just let me be for once."
"Fine. You win this time, for once," Mickey said with an eyeroll, causing the blond to grin in absolute victory. "But I'm going to check if that baby was asleep just in case you're calling bollocks." With that, he walked across the street near a park bench, where a lady standing next to a blue stroller was arguing with a police officer about her parking position.
Danny shook his head with a scoff before he reached for the piece of plastic that would be protecting the lollipop, only to feel...
A rolled-up business card?
His head veered up instantly to see Mickey walking back towards the bus stop, a genuine smile on the man's face. He stood next to Danny again, who dug his hands in his left pocket, clearly upset and ready to yell something most likely very obscene, but decided against it and bit his tongue.
"Like taking candy from a baby," Mickey simply stated, breaking the silence as the bus finally arrived.
Danny said nothing and only forced a very wry smirk.
End