Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter characters, Harry Potter places, Harry Potter ideals or Harry Potter plots. I do own everything that I didn't mention above… except your cat… or dog... wOOt.

Summary: A collection of one shots on how the end of days really occurs.

Warning: There will be extreme insanity ahead. If you are affected by bouts of giggling fits, you may want a pillow handy in case you fall off your chair.

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How the Harry Potter Series Really Ends

By: Kadasa Mori

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--- Chapter One: On guard! ---
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Harry Potter, predicted savior of the wizarding word, the Boy-Who-Lived-and-Keeps-On-Living-Despite-What-The-Dark-Lord-Throws-At-Him, sighed heavily and announced to the room, "I'm bored…"

Ron sighed. "I'm bored too."

"Me three." Hermione sounded, staring at the ceiling.

"Me forty-million-gajillion." They all blinked and turned to Ginny in confusion. She shrugged. "I'm bored."

They were currently all lounging in the Weasley's living room. It was Christmas break and they'd decided that staying at Hogwarts with less students and Malfoy around every corner wasn't the smartest thing to do. So it was to the Weasley's… of course… they couldn't go outside 24-7… and the rest of the Weasleys were at an Order meeting… so they were by themselves with nothing to do. Not the greatest thing for four bored teenagers.

"I got the greatest idea!" Ron cried, leaping to his feet.

Harry yelped and fell off his couch onto his face. Ginny raised her head off the arm rest then lay back down, Hermione lounging in a recliner on the other side of the room. "My mose murts…" Harry mumbled into the carpet.

"I'm sure it does," Ginny replied.

"Here!" Ron came back holding two long parcels. He pulled one out revealing a sharp fencing sword. "Come on! Let's fence! My brothers just taught me a few months ago!"

Harry frowned. "But I don't know how…"

"Well… I'll teach you. Come on!"

Harry sighed and got to his feet, taking the other one and glancing at Ron. "Aren't we supposed to have gear on to protect ourselves?"

"Bah. We'll be fine. "All right, the basic idea is to block the opponent's attack. Got it?"

Harry blinked. Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ron. Can't you explain any better than that?"

"Nope! Come on Harry!"

Harry sighed. "All right."

"Ginny. Count to three."

"One… two… two and a half… two and three quarters… two and four fifths… two and six sevenths… two and-"

"Ginny!"

"Fine. Three."

Ron lunged forward. Harry yelped and dodged out of the way, Ron missing entirely. The next swing, Harry blocked, the metal ringing across the room. Harry grinned wickedly at Ron who grinned back, both going into boy mode and quickly slashing at each other, but always careful not to take off a few fingers.

"On guard!" Ron shouted, smacking the sword against Harry's.

Harry jumped away then glanced at Ginny and winked, the girl flushing. "Oh!" he cried out in mock pain. "Woe is me! I've fallen!" Hermione and Ginny laughed, Ron rolling his eyes but grinning nonetheless.

Harry lifted his arm slightly to jab the sword between it and his body, to make it look like he was dead only to hear a grunt of pain and a gasp. He released the sword and turned, finding Voldemort with the sword sticking out of chest. The Dark Lord's eyes rolled back into his head and he fell, dead on the ground.

Harry and his companions blinked several times. Ron scratched his cheek. Ginny swatted at a stray hair. Hermione cocked her head. Harry nudged the dead Dark Lord's side with his foot.

When he received no reaction he sighed. "Well… that was stupid."

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Author's Note: … I did warn you it'd be stupid. Review please!

Let me know how insane you think I am. Please rate on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not insane and 10 being totally-out-of-her-mind, needs-to-get-a-padded-room insane.

Thanks and have a wonderfully not-pierced-by-a-sharp-sword-and-dying day!

Kadasa Mori