The knock at the door was unexpected.
Not that the orphanage didn't usually receive guests, mostly in the form of food suppliers and nervous prospective adoptive parents, but one would think that, with a "PLEASE REFRAIN FROM V ISITING THE ORPHANAGE BEFORE EIGHT", people would be more careful.
Roxanne huffed, stopped moulding the cookie dough, and wiped her hands off on her apron.
"Coming" she yelled, although she was sure her visitor could not hear her through the locked door.
As if managing an orphanage alone was a piece of cake. Now they had to add rude people to the mix. Hopefully she wouldn't have another "accident" like last time…which was also why the whole orphanage had stopped having free snacks and why that delivery guy wasn't going to call anyone the b word any time soon. Sighing, she pushed a strand of molasses-coloured hair behind her ear, zipped up her hoodie, and, on her way to the door, checked her reflection. While she was far from being a knockout, she didn't look too bad…well, except for the flour at the base of her ponytail and on her cheeks. But whatever.
Another knock, more insistent this time.
The nerve…!
Roxanne grabbed the handle, and swung the door open.
"Now, the sign is there for a reason. If you could …"and her mouth went dry.
In front of her stood a tall, bulky man, in the most absurd and clashing colour combo she had ever seen. He was wearing an electric blue leotard but had (wisely) thought it best to add a cape, for modesty. The cape shone a bright yellow in the pale morning light. On his feet, he had been more sombre: brown leather boots with matching gloves covering his hands.
"Hey…"he mumbled, his voice deep and dark.
The man's puffy lips flattened into a small smile, his bright blue eyes twinkling with a youthful light, in stark contrast with the slight crow's feet around them and the small patches of grey scattered on the stray tuff of hair on his forehead. The rest, she supposed, was hidden by the large pig mask he had on.
"Oh…Hey."Roxanne mumbled back, crossing her arms and leaning onto the door frame "look at what the cat dragged in. And" she shot a shift look at her wristwatch "before visiting time, too."
He reddened under his mask, and smiled sheepishly, like a kid caught with a cookie jar: "Uh…was just around here and thought I'd pop in. Haven't seen you in a while."
Eleven years and five months(not that she was keeping count or anything). A while indeed.
Roxanne smiled back, fingers toying with the hem of her apron: "I guess you could say that, Kid Muscle."
Kid Muscle. How long had it been since she'd said that name? Judging by how hot it had suddenly gotten and how her sweaty hand was slipping on the door handle, far too long. It was hard to remember a time where she'd been comfortable with it, much less chanted it in an arena full of people.
She cleared her throat: "Well, you could come inside."
.
.
"I've got the regular, the micro, the powdered…and zoorberry, if you're one of those health nuts that want their coffee smelling of soil"
"Po…powdered" Kid stammered, taking a seat at the kitchen table "Hey, this is nice."
Roxanne smirked, pouring the dehydrated coffee beans into the machine.
"Thank you. I've got really good taste when it comes to coffee."
Kid opened his mouth to speak, but Roxanne added: "And I know you were talking about the place. You have no idea what I've had to do to fix it after the whole DMP being revived thing"
Kid nodded in acknowledgement "Like that chair. Some genius thought it would be a good idea to use it as a freakin' sleigh, of all things. But enough about bland furniture. How's the royal life been treating you?"
Kid laughed, leaning back onto his chair: "Same old, same old. Turns out Muscle Planet isn't really that lively, so there's not much to do. Mostly boring paperwork I don't even have to fill it, just read and sign. Y'know, I kinda miss the days Meat bossed me around and I had to sneak out to drink booze and see girls."
The days when they snuck out to see you, Roxanne's mind added, in a tone that reminded her of those old spinsters in the soap operas she was forced to watch as a kid. She pushed away the thought. She had been one of those girls, after all, a fact which it was neither fun nor appropriate to talk about now, especially since it was entirely possible he wasn't talking about sneaking out and seeing her. Best to play safe.
"Bossed you around? He went way softer than he could have. Remember that time you, Terry, Dik Dik and Wally came to training drunk out of your minds and you had to eat your weight in potato chips to pull yourselves together?"
"Hey, it wasn't my fault the training was two hours after Sakefest. What were we supposed to do?"
"Yeah"she said, lowering her voice as to mimic Kid's "I mean, not get wasted out of my mind when I'm supposed to prepare for training? Where are we, North Korea?"
Kid chuckled, a rich, deep chuckle that sent butterflies to her stomach: "Hey, you liked getting drunk too and partying all night too, if I remember correctly. I'm kinda surprised there's no alcohol in here."
"Even if I live here, it's still an orphanage, Kid. I'm not keeping vodka beside the cookie jars and the cans of baby food."
Not anymore, at least.
Kid only grinned, his gaze lowering, becoming the foggy blue it got when he was pensive.
Roxanne bit her lip. Was he thinking…?
**"Come in, no one's here. My mom won't be back for a while."
Kid nodded, gripping the empty beer bottle tighter and tiptoeing into the house.
When they both were inside, Roxanne closed the door shut, leaning against the doorframe with a sigh and then giving Kid a pointed look: "I hate you for making me do this."
Kid wasn't fazed, and instead just smiled back at her: "You know you don't."
Roxanne huffed, taking off her letterman jacket and putting it on the coat hanger. It would have been ridiculous to wear it in the house, even if all she had on underneath were tiny black shorts and a tank top. She kicked off her boots and went inside.
"While you're here, make yourself at hom…"
She froze when she saw Kid Muscle's head peeking from behind the fridge's door.
"Hey, you still have that bowl of beef teriyaki your mom made when my dad came to visit? Because all that running has made me a little hungry."
Roxanne raised an eyebrow: "Kid, it's been weeks. If it is still there, it's probably rancid."
"But still eatable."
"It's edible" shutting the fridge closed on her way, Roxanne grabbed a chair, dragged it towards a wall, and then climbed on it, so that she was face to face with a wooden cupboard.
"Hey, what are you doing?"she heard Kid ask from behind her as she opened the cupboard. Roxanne rolled her eyes.
"Getting you food, I don't want you to die of starvation" she threw a pink packet of…something over her shoulder, followed by a see-through one and something wrapped in foil. When they all landed with a soft bump on what she supposed was the kitchen table, she smirked, and jumped out of the chair.
"S'that ok?"
Kid, with his face stuffed with food, nodded. Roxanne nodded back, and, holding the foil-wrapped packet (mhm…rice balls!) in her right hand, sat down on the sofa. Kid sat down beside her, the tear at the knee of his leotard, where an hint of a purple bruise was already visible, ripping open even further.
"Thanks."
Roxanne blinked, and turned slightly towards her …however she was supposed to define him. Crush bore a closer resemblance to what she had felt for Jaegar, and she didn't feel butterflies come out of their cocoons in her stomach when she was with her friends, so that label was out. And, despite his claims, they weren't committed or official enough for her to be his girlfriend, much less his fiancée. They were not co-workers, nor relatives. He…he was a category on his own.
"For…you know, knocking out that guy. And…and…letting me hide here" he shivered "I mean, not that I couldn't have taken care of it."
Roxanne tilted her head, thinking back at the Kid Muscle she had found earlier that night. The Chojin Crown Champion shivering in front of a guy who, while well-built, seemed to have tanning bed lifting as his main hobby. Maybe it was good that the press in the club had been more concerned with Channel Five's weather lady's suspicious baby bump.
"I'm sure you could"she said, fumbling with the foil package and uncovering crispy, perfectly spherical rice threats, which she could already imagine the center of. Mashed egg yolk and salted seaweed. The combination alone made her mouth water.
"Oh, who am I kidding." Kid growled "I couldn't." his smile grew bitter "Choujin Crown Champion, heir of a family of wrestlers, and I still act like a child. In front of you, too."
Roxanne set the package aside, and was about to ask what he meant by that(she knew the kid professed to having feelings for her, but that hadn't stopped him from emptying his bladder on the ring before) but said, instead:"You are brave when it counts, Kid."
"In the ring." he said "after you, Meat and the whole arena have yelled your lungs out trying to cheer me on."
Roxanne was silent. That was true, but telling him would have done the guy more harm than good.
Why did he have to choose now, to stop being full of himself?
Must have been the Long Island Iced Tea. Only had a sip, my butt. Still, he was pretty coherent for a drunk guy.
She took a deep breath.
"Listen. No one's expecting you to suddenly turn into GI Joe after you've put on a shiny belt. Not Meat, not your friends, not your parents, and especially not me. I don't know where this is coming from, but I hope to God you just had one drink too many."
"You don't…"
"And of course I know the pressure." she gestured to the walls, and watched as Kid read the captions pinned to the framed photos. *Roxanne's first first place in judo*, *Roxanne wins the Asaku Tournament* *Shopping for new kimonos*, and others, that had nothing written under them, but just showed the face of a little girl with short brown hair and a differently coloured belt each time "But, just because I won a couple medals doesn't mean I'm going to be a different person overnight. You do stupid, cowardly stuff? Well, you can be the Choujin Crown Champion and be the Kid I…we know and love. I don't mean to say you can piss your pants in the ring all you want, but …don't beat yourself up if you do. I mean, it's still you. And we...I like you."
"Roxanne..."
"Just…just lay off my rice balls"Roxanne added, painfully aware of how chocked her voice was coming out "They cost an arm and a leg, and I'm not going to the store again tomorrow."
She was positive he could see her grip on the foil package tightening.
"Roxanne..."Kid's own eyes were now a glassy blue, and she swore she could see something glistening in there, too "this might be too soon, and I'm sorry, I know that...that you don't want to hear it from ...well, someone like me, but it's been two years and I..."
Before she even realized what she was doing, she was leaning on him, chin on his shoulder and voice coming out in whispers "I know"her hand brushed his shaking open palm, a motion that was meant to be reassuring, and instead sent shivers down her spine "Mantaro, calm down. I know. It's fine. Everything is fine. I know"a kiss on the temple for good measure, and, one, last, whispered "I know". Both of them had been too far gone to realize that, as minutes went on, they had been closing the distance between them, Roxanne's legs resting beside Kid's, fingers intertwined. Roxanne found that she didn't care. After all, they fit together just fine. **
The trill of the coffee machine shook her out of her memory.
"Uh, coffee's ready."
She grabbed a Tweety Ballerina mug nearby, inserted it in the machine's built-in tray, and pushed one of the buttons. Nothing.
Crud.
Roxanne rolled her eyes, drew her arm backwards, and gave the machine a belt that sent it, shaking and buzzing, on the opposite side of the counter. She turned towards Kid Muscle with a sheepish smile, rubbing the reddening hand.
"Now it should work."
And sure enough, the machine, still shaking like crazy, emitted a chocked cough, and a stream of black liquid poured down, going up to Tweety' s eye level and then stopping with a desperate growl.
"Kitchen appliances love me" Roxanne joked, sitting down, mug in her hand, in front of Kid.
"I see" was the answer "Hey, you still have this?"
He had grabbed a small Cupid model in clear plastic. Well, one could assume it was Cupid, as it didn't have a bow and arrow in his hands, but a bouquet. The pink enamel plaque on the pedestal read, in bright bold letters: TRIXIE & TERRY, 20/8/2020.
Roxanne couldn't stop a small smile from forming on her lips, as memories of pink feather centrepieces and eating Texan barbecue on foldable chairs clouded her mind.
"I forgot about that. Where did you find it?"
"It was behind the mug. Hey, it's cute."
"I'm sure Trixie would appreciate that. She was the one who ordered five hundred of them off the Internet. You should have seen all of them, lined up on the buffet table" shame you didn't " Here, while it's still warm" she slid the fuming cup across the table, and Kid grabbed it.
"Thanks" he managed, sounding almost out of breath.
Roxanne, meanwhile, had gotten a hold of the small statue, and was running her finger on the engraved letters on the plaque. Beautiful, delicate letters in cursive, the kind that Trixie loved. It made sense she'd chosen it as a goodbye present. Some other people, and there she directed her stare at Kid Muscle, had not even had that much decency. One day they were here, and the next one…not so much. Roxanne felt her stomach clench in rage. How dare he?
How dare he come back and not even explain…well, any of the things that had happened? Was that…some sort of plan to weasel himself into her life so that he'd have his conscience clean? Good lord, did …his…that…did she even know he was here?
The last thought kicked something in motion, as she jumped straight up out of her chair, voice raising an octave higher:
"Listen, Kid Muscle…"
"Kid Muscle?"a younger voice behind her squeaked "Who's that?"
Roxanne turned around, and blinked at the pyjama-clad child in front of her: "Nobita? What are you doing awake so early?"
The boy rubbed his eyes with chubby fists: "I wanted to see if Miss Marie was back yet. And" he shot a sharp look at Kid Muscle "who are you?"
He's a guest, Nobita. He was just leaving.
An old friend. Why don't you say bye to my friend?
No one, Nobita. Don't worry about it.
The sentences piled in Roxanne's brain like little bricks, and she was about to open her mouth to say one (any!) of them, but stopped when she saw Nobita's eyes widen and his mouth form a "o" shape.
"I know you!"he said, pointing at Kid Muscle "You are that wrestling guy I saw on tv!"
Kid rubbed the back of his head: "I was that wrestling guy. Now I do other things. I have my own house, I'm married, that sort of boring adult stuff"
Nobita furrowed his brows: "Married ?Yuck."
Roxanne bit her lip.
Yeah. Yuck.
**Bliss. Bliss is all she sees in the deep blue of his eyes, and the pale green of hers. Or maybe it's just the way they actually are, and she's just that wonderful.
White rose petals circle around the newlyweds, landing every so often on Kid's pale blue tux, or getting lost in the ivory white of the princess's gown , the trail following them from two steps behind, just where the staircase begins. Every so often, a raven ringlet bounces forth, exposing pointy, delicate ears, and cheekbones that one just knows will make the fine, ethereal girl a striking woman, true to her NeoIllyrian heritage. They walk slowly, and don't touch, like eerie creatures of light, unaware of the groom's family's proud tears and the bride's parents' radiant smiles.
Muscle Planet cheers thrice for the new royal couple.
It's at that point that Roxanne turns off the tv.
"I'm sorry, baby." Mari whispers behind her from the couch.**
"He's in bed." Roxanne said, closing the kitchen door behind her.
Now that she thought of it, she might as well have let Nobita stay up. In a few minutes, Tokyo would wake, which meant that a few car alarms would start blaring, and the next door neighbour blaring loud hip hop music all morning. Then the kids would come down the stairs, and she'd have to face the fact that she hadn't made them breakfast. Then she'd have to run to the store and hope Mr Takayama still had some bread rolls on sale.
"Good" Kid Muscle said "Hey, when is your mother is coming back? It would be cool if I got to say hi to her, too."
"My what?"
"Your…mother. You know, the woman you grew up with, the one that used to date my dad, the one who made that delicious strawberry cake…"
"I know who my mother is" Roxanne snapped "I just don't know where the hell she is, okay?"
"Wha…"
Roxanne sat down on her chair, eyes downcast.
"She left two years ago. She thought…she thought that now that I was almost thirty, I would be able to handle the orphanage on my own. And I did."
"No questions asked?"
Roxanne shrugged: "No questions asked. But, as you can tell, she was way too trusting."
It hadn't been, to be honest, something she had put too much thought into. It was the right thing. Her mother was gone, she would take her place. Mop the floors, send the kids to the nearby school or call someone for those who were still in kindergarten, cook and pretend not to notice the fact that, once the kids were in bed, she was setting the table for one instead of two.
Small tears stung her eyes. She blinked. Mari Nikaido hadn't raised a crybaby.
"So…"she finished "you can cross her off your list."
Ignoring the familiar pang in her chest, Roxanne paused to study Kid Muscle's face. He had his mouth half open, fingers loosely curled around the Tweety mug. Maybe she should have said it was none of his business. That would have prevented the awkwardness of having to watch another person process the fact that your own mother disappeared from your life. There would be silence, for sure. Then he'd apologize for having asked. Then he would leave.
"Oh." Kid said "Well, it's a bummer. You think there's something good on tv right now?"when Roxanne didn't answer, he grabbed the remote on the table, and pressed a button "Is that how you turn it on? I haven't seen Earthen tv in like ages. Come to think of it, I haven't seen tv, period, in a while."
"The.. red button. Press the red button." Roxanne murmured, still stunned, as Kid, after doing just what she had suggested, crouched down on the floor, and patted the spot beside him.
Roxanne sat down, furrowing her brows: "You can use the chairs, you know. Not like they are breaking apart."
"We always used to sit down like this." Kid spoke, his voice suddenly otherworldly, gaze far away, as if in a daydream "When I came over. After you got rid of the couch. We would watch tv. Remember?" that last word was said almost desperately, with a force so foreign it sent chills down her spine.
Roxanne nodded, pretending to be enraptured by the children's cartoon on the little screen. A small mouse being chased by a blue, drooling dog across a field.
"And"she continued(was her voice always so…drowsy?) "there was that dumb show about mailmen. For some reason, the theme song made you laugh like crazy."
Kid chuckled.
"C'mon! Who doesn't love that song? It's almost as good as…"
Roxanne put her hands in front of him: "Please, don't…"
Before Roxanne could finish the sentence, Kid jumped up, with a quick clap of his hands.
"With my rice I want some cow, cow cow…
It tastes so very good I don't know how how how
It's my favourite form of chow chow chow…
Ohh ohh eat now!"and then, sitting down beside the brunette "Remember I said almost."
She couldn't stop the giggles bubbling up in her throat from diluting into a small, but teeth-baring smile:"Sure. Almost."
He hasn't changed that much, Roxanne decided, except for the added depth in his voice, and the calmer mannerisms, but she supposed that was natural. He was in his thirties, after all. Of course he wouldn't be the same teenager who dressed up as a geisha and begged her for a date.
Roxanne pursed her lips. Was she different, too? If Kid Muscle thought so, he had not said it.
Why hadn't he? Hadn't he been the one who was head over heels in love with her? Where had…
"AHH WAAA!GOT YOU AGAIN!"
On the screen, the mouse was squirming in the dog's closed paw, squeaking like a rubber toy whenever the canine's thumb pressed hard into his stomach.
"YES, YOU MEASLY MOUSE, TRY AND ESCAPE. YOU ALWAYS FALL BACK INTO THE SAME TRAP, DON'T YOU?"
Roxanne's breath hitched, her eyes still glued to the mouse, whose defenceless squeaks sounded more and more girly, more and more human. Always falling back into the same trap…
**The chandelier shimmered under the lights. No one knew why it was still present, Kid had told her, since they all had electricity anyway, but to Roxanne, it was a nice touch regardless. Especially since everything seemed to sparkle in one way or another. The silver cutlery on the table, for instance. The golden borders on the red velvet carpets they had passed when Kid had dragged her across the halls and insisted on introducing her to all the maids, beaming with each "and this is my girlfriend, Roxanne".
The glass that King Muscle, Kid's father, was banging on with his fork.
"I propose a toast"
His own father, Mayumi, rolled his eyes, while Kid's mother, Belinda, looked up at her husband, her expression a mix of curiosity and awe. King, blushing slightly, held up his glass even higher.
"It seems appropriate, since my son is here, and so is Roxanne, that…"
Mayumi groaned: "Go on, before my beard reaches the floor."
"Very well, then"King cleared his throat "To bonds. The ties that hold us together, the laws of the heart. For us, they are the laws of the brain, too. Be they platonic…or less than platonic, they are the things that push us to fight harder and I, for instance, feel lucky to have this kind of connection with…all of you, really(yes, even you, dad). So…to bonds. May they never be broken."
Roxanne felt Kid's hand squeeze hers under the table, and took a sip of water to disguise the smile that was forming on her lips.
"And"King went on "to Roxanne, my beautiful, brilliant daughter in law. Make sure to bear me lots of grandchildren. I'm not getting any younger, you know."
Roxanne spit out her water.
"So…that was awkward" Roxanne said when they got off the spaceship, raking through her hair with the hand that wasn't laced to Kid's.
For tonight, she had worn it down, and that meant leaving it completely vulnerable to the night breeze, which lifted the strands and hooked them to one another with each blow.
Kid shrugged.
"It wasn't that bad. My dad could have started a fart war. Which would have been totally embarrassing, because we all know I would have won."
Something, to be fair, that with a dinner almost entirely based on rice and cow, wouldn't have been so farfetched. She had only eaten a bowl of the stuff, and already she was gripping on Kid's arm for support.
"Not to mention the fact that your mother was silently killing me with her eyes through the whole meal for stealing you away from her."
Kid waved a hand dismissively: "Nah. That's just her normal stare. She seemed ok when she told you about her teaching you how to cook."
"Of course she'd be ok with being in a room with me and a few sharp knives" Roxanne murmured under her breath, pushing back the image of Belinda chopping the beef in the kitchen, hands red with its blood Because cow and rice is best eaten immediately after it's been cooked, or so she would say.
Roxanne felt a shiver creep its way down her back.
"I think I'll pass, thanks."
Forever, if that was what it would take.
Kid only laughed: "Well, she's doing her best to make sure you are being a suitable wife for me. She just…went a little overboard on the watching and evaluating."
A little. Yeah. Her gaze had been on Roxanne from the appetizers onwards, always making sure she picked the right fork, or looking out for an elbow on the table or a less-than-innocent glance at her son.
Wait ,speaking of whom, had he just said wife? Using the present?
Roxanne stopped walking.
"Ehi, Rox, you ok?"
"Did…did you just say wife?"
He blinked, like it was the most natural thing in the world:-Well, yeah. I mean, when two people get married…
"We aren't married yet!"
"Not yet. But, I mean, we've been going out for a while, and it's only natural that you and I get married and you move to Muscle Planet…"
It hit her like a sledgehammer, and she had to grip Kid's arm tighter to stand.
Moving to Muscle Planet meant no more Earth. Which, in turn, meant no more night strolls with Trixie and Kiki, no more afternoons spent studying on the school rooftop, no more walking out of training and feeling rain pour all over her gym clothes. No more training, for that matter. Or rain. And she could forget about starting university, or getting that job as an instructor for the summer.
And it was not even a matter of years, something bittersweet she could just store in her memory and ignore at night, tossing and turning in her bed. Even if Kid was kidding around now(even though he seemed to treat it in an alarmingly straightforward way), he wouldn't stay a prince (or on Earth) forever, and she couldn't believe she had overlooked how King Muscle had needed a maid's help to get up from his chair, the laugh lines around his mouth, even through the mask, looking more like chasms as he thanked her.
Stupid, stupid.
"Rox…?You alright?"
Kid's concerned, clear blue eyes met hers, a gaze so full of love and faith she could feel the crack of her heart breaking. Because the Other Life, the life of royal parades, and trying to cook rice and cow the right way, and adorable babies that would look like the both of them and she would love and coddle and teach how to play catch and a mean game of hide-and-seek, it was the life Kid wanted, the life in which he had lost nothing, not freedom, not friends, not parents. The life a nice, spunky-but-not-intimidating-enough-to-be-unapproachable girl, like the one King Muscle had married (And Kid Muscle was cut from the same cloth as his dad, wasn't he?)would want as much as she'd want the person she'd share it with.
"Roxanne?" Kid tried again.
And to think that one time, when she was ten and Kid Muscle was not even a bleep in her radar, Mari had tried to explain why she wasn't married, saying that while people may love eachother, they may not always fit together well. Some puzzle pieces, she had added, unaware of her daughter's confused stare,just don't work. No matter how pretty they seem to be with the ones you already have. Maybe they'll corrode (a word little Roxanne had had to look up after) with time so that they fit better, maybe they'll find their puzzle pieces or maybe they'll stay in the box forever.
"And you?"Roxanne had asked "What are you?". Her mother had not answered.
"Roxanne?"
She glanced at Kid.
Maybe, for his sake, it was worth staying in the box for a little while.
"I'm…I'm fine. Just zoned out. Let's get moving."
"Thinking of the wedding already, aren't you?"
"You…could say that" was the answer, spoken at a volume so low Kid had to walk closer to hear it.
"Well"the boy shot her a radiant, enthusiastic smile " Fear not. I've got it all planned. We'll get married, and move in in the palace, and then we will…"
Roxanne removed her hand from Kid Muscle's forearm. When her boyfriend turned towards her, a quizzical expression on his face, she inhaled.
"I can't do this …now" great, give him more false hope, that'll help "Nor…nor ever. I'm sorry."
His face fell.
"But I thought we were doing ok."
They were doing ok, in that she agreed. But, in a few years, ok wouldn't be enough. Besides, he would get over it. He was the skirt-chasing one. He would be alright.
"Well, you were wrong."
"But…surely, with time…"
"Time will only prove my point." she breathed out, and started walking again, heels clicking on the concrete sidewalk.
"Roxanne…"
The row of white, identical houses was starting to grow uneven, with the occasional two-story brown or pink building showing up, culminating in one that was, yes, white and rectangular, but bigger than all of those they had seen, and gilded by an iron gate. The image of a stork carrying a baby with its beak was engraved on the side.
"That's my house." Roxanne said flatly, even though he already knew.
She produced her keys from her purse, opened the gate and got in, leaving Kid out.
"Well…goodnight, Kid. Have a nice life. With…"a sharp inhale "someone else."
"Can't you at least…"
"No." was the reply "you'll thank me in a few years."
And she shut the gate closed.
That night, she would remember Kid yelling her name from behind the gate as she walked to the main entrance. She would pull the covers over her head, and then discard them entirely and walk to the bathroom. Then she would throw up the rice and cow on the carpet. And then, only then, would she allow herself to cry.**
"…so violent. I mean, sure, we had Tom&Jerry, but this?" Kid was saying "This is over the top."
Roxanne looked at the screen. The credits had just started rolling, over the grim screenshot of the mouse's dancing skeleton still being chased by the dog.
Good thing that the kids weren't up yet.
Roxanne shrugged, but stopped midway when she felt her shoulder rub against …something. Which, a fact that she mouthed a curse for as she turned around, was Kid's own shoulder. And, as she strained her neck to look down even more, their fingers were only a few inches apart, and if she moved a little closer, his thumb would fit perfectly in the crook between her own thumb and her index finger, with the same ease it would have years before, in this same room, in this same spot.
Great. Just great.
Kid apparently had noticed that, too, because he turned around right after, and his expression(wide-eyed, gape-mouthed), seemed to mimic her own.
"Uh…uhm…sorry" he said, not sounding sorry in the slightest, and not pulling his shoulder away.
Roxanne didn't reply, and just directed her attention to the tv, fighting back the heat that was spreading under her cheeks. On the screen, the names of the voice actors were still rolling, and the dog had finally, once again, got the mouse. For good.
"Don't be sorry" Roxanne said finally "You are probably tired. In fact" she got up from her pillow on the floor "I'm sure you have other visits to do on Earth. And I have to have twenty five cookies ready by nine, bargain shop for materials for the place, and possibly squeeze in a training session or two." She extended her hand for Kid to take. He looked at it for a few seconds, and then took it, a fact that simultaneously made her want to never offer help to any other human being and made her face flush. Again. And, well, there was the fact that they were now on the same eye-level, and Kid's blue eyes ("so, so terribly deeply hypnotic blue" she'd scribbled in her diary one time,as a teen, when she was supposed to be writing an essay for her English class instead) were bearing intently into her own.
"This isn't about the cookies, is it?"
Roxanne felt her blush deepen, but forced herself to maintain a steely gaze and tightly closed lips.
"Look" she hissed "I'm just trying to do what is right."
Her gaze fell downward. They were still holding hands. Shaking like a leaf, she disentangled her hand, and watched Kid Muscle's own dangle, limp, from his wrist, like she had burned him. She felt grateful that the stray strands of hair fallen on her forehead made it impossible for her to see his face. Unless, well, she looked up on her own. But that wasn't going to happen.
I'm trying to do what is right.
Her mind repeated the sentence, in a loop, as she escorted Kid out, and after she felt the door slam closed behind her. He called her name once, weakly, and then she could hear him walking away.
I'm doing what is right. For both of us. He'll thank me.
She sighed, and cast one, final look at the uncooked dough on the counter. No, this was not the right moment. She went up to her room, closed the blinds and, after ruffling the fur of the dog sound asleep on the carpet, laid on the unmade bed, forcing her eyes closed.
.
.
"You sure you don't want me to come over? It's just two hours. It would be nice of you to actually meet up with people, you know. Isolation is bad for you."
Roxanne rolled her eyes. The last two sentences had not been spoken in Kiki's normal, unnaturally high-pitched-for-a-thirty-something-year-old-woman, tone, but in the lower, warmer one Roxanne had only seen her use with the kids at the orphanage. Certainly not with Kiki's own. Having taken after their dad, they would have in all probability told her to knock it off. She huffed, fixing the headset hooked on her ear.
"I'm fine, mommy. Seriously. Kid Muscle is the last thing on my mind. It's just me, Patrice and Anita" she pointed at the television screen with the hand that was holding the remote. Well, not that Kiki could see it. Mental note: enable the camera function.
Kiki groaned at the other end of the line.
"I don't know how they're still airing that stuff. I mean, I watched like two episodes when I was pregnant with Sage and even I figured out Patrice was Anita's stepbrother."
Roxanne shrugged: "Dunno. I guess they just need to fill airtime. It is midnight."
She lifted the plastic glass off the coach's armrest, and took a sip. The supermarket champagne prickled her throat, before making its way to her stomach.
"Still, that sham marriage with Carol was probably the worst…"
"THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED TO GIVE SPACE TO IMPORTANT NEWS FROM MUSCLE PLANET."
Roxanne blinked, and focused her attention on the tv, sliding forward in her seat.
"I mean"Kiki continued "Everyone saw it coming. If it quacks like a stripper, walks like a stripper…"
"WHERE WE'VE JUST BEEN WITNESSES OF THE LEAK OF THE MOST GROUND-BREAKING NEWS IN MUSCLEIAN MONARCHY. THIS IS MAC METAPHOR, AND THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL EDITION OF 'WWE NEWS'"
"I'll call you later." Roxanne whispered, wide-eyed, into the headset, and pressed the power button, while her other hand turned up the volume of the tv.
"…DOC NAKANO FROM MUSCLE PLANET. HEY, DOC, ANY NEWS?"
"I'M AFRAID NOT" Doc said, huddling in the blanket he was wearing around his shoulders "SINCE THE NEWS OF THE ROYAL DIVORCE HAVE BEEN LEAKED, THE KINNIKU FAMILY HAS REFUSED TO OPEN THE DOORS OF THE CASTLE, LEAVING ALL OF US TO FEND FOR OURSELVES!" he took a step aside, and the camera zoomed on a man beating a cameraman with his microphone " SO I CAN ASSUME…"
And the screen went black. The only noises present were the sounds of the rubber soles of Roxanne's shoes hitting the tile floor, and then the door closing shut.
.
.
"I see this place is holding up." was the first thing that Roxanne said, pushing open the door of the hut.
She had only been half-sarcastic. The hut was the same as she had left it, just before Kid and her…she blinked. Yes, the same as always. Ratty moquette, in a colour that, in Trixie's words, looked like 'the illegitimate child of grape purple, shocking pink and mud brown', its fur tickling the skin left exposed by her flip flops. The small, red tv Roxanne remembered had been moved to the side of the room, presumably to leave more space for the dull brown coffee table. The futon was the only thing that looked remotely interesting, probably because its occupant had cast aside its covers and was now staring at her.
"Maybe I should have knocked" she blurted out, rubbing the back of her head- Sorry.
Kid's eyes softened: "Don't be. No one here to lecture you."
The last sentence was spoken in a deflated tone, and Roxanne's eyes travelled to the side of the room, and landed on a sarcophagus-shaped incubator. The lid was closed, and the lights, which had been twinkling when Dik Dik and Terry had, the day after Kid's final victory against Oxbreaker, cracked it open, were turned off.
"I figured he wouldn't like to be woken up only to hear about my failure as a husband."
Roxanne nodded: "I…uhm…heard. "
Well, her and the entire universe, she guessed, but it was probably not the appropriate thing to point out when her ex was sitting on an unmade futon, head between his hands, and facing the carpet.
Still, a part of her felt that it was not time to go just yet. She took a step forward.
Kid didn't look up. Good.
With a few more little steps, as if she were walking in a minefield, she got closer to the futon, and, wiped the empty cans off the coffee table with one arm. They fell on the moquette with a soft thump. It was only then that Kid looked up, and gave her a small smile. Roxanne sighed.
"Kid…"
A blurry, fuzzy "I'm sorry" formed in her mind, but did not reach her lips. She had never been good at this sort of thing. Heck, maybe she should have just invited Kiki over and gone with her.
Her hand tentatively reached for his, and then clenched into a fist.
"...you're not going back, are you?"
His eyes reached hers, and his brows furrowed. She held his gaze.
"I meant" Roxanne continued, sitting down on the empty coffee table "You cannot go back, right? After…after you divorce?"
"How did you…?"
"The bonds. When…when I met your parents, your dad went on and on about bonds. How important they are, and so on. I guessed that it held true for marriage, too."
Kid nodded: "It does. My parents aren't happy about that, though. But, you know, law and stuff."
Roxanne nodded. She had figured they wouldn't be, especially with a son that, except for a few bumps(in the form of geisha costumes and various hijinks) down the road, had come out of the whole "being a descendant of a family of wrestling champions" thing unscathed. No Kevin Mask-esque issues, with this one, nor obsessions over history repeating like herse…Terry Kenyon. He had gone on retracing his dad's steps mostly angst-free, so why stray away now?
From what little she had seen of Space Princess, she had seemed positively unremarkable, and even the few times she had popped up on Roxanne's screen when ceremonies of intergalactic importance were aired, she had reminded Roxanne of that stray grey rabbit the kids had brought home one day, the one that would let people pet her for hours to an end, without budging an inch, so much that it had taken everyone weeks to figure out she had died of malnutrition. There was nothing but placid contentedness in the princess's stare, with the occasional, more vivid twinge of …something, whenever she looked up at her husband. Roxanne wasn't sure if it was the same something that twisted and twirled…that had twisted and twirled inside her stomach, in her youth, whenever Kid oh-so-casually grabbed her hand when they were walking, but it sure as hell looked like a damn good something. Then how…?
"…and I bet the press is having a field day with this."
His tone was dejected, like the same press that had once adored him, at least in his view, and lifted him up like a prized idol had let him fall on the ground and shatter. This time, when she reached out to touch him, she did not stop halfway, and put her hand on his, firm yet gentle, or so she hoped. His hand squeezed her fingers,its warmth evident even under the thick gloves.
She bit her lip to suppress the butterflies mounting in her stomach, and conjured up her best 'responsible but still reassuring headmistress' tone.
"It's just how the press works, Kid. Pretty soon some idol singer is gonna screw around with her manager, and everyone will forget about you and…"
"..my ex wife. I'd…I'd rather not say her name, for now" when Roxanne raised an eyebrow, he added "My grandfather has already said it enough…he thought that, if I began to think of her as family, then …things would not turn out the way they have. But I think it was less about her and more about preserving the bloodline" he snickered, but, rather than being malicious, his snicker came out bittersweet-As you can see, it didn't work.
He gestured to the unmade futon and empty cans: "Looks like I'll be living the bachelor life here on Earth. I found a pizza place that needs delivery boys. I mean, the owner is a little bit of a jerk and stinks of garlic..."
"But it makes no sense"Roxanne said, pensively,not addressing Kid's remarks "I mean, you are the only heir, and you don't have any immediate family members who could take over. If there's one king, it's gotta be you, divorce or not."
Kid kicked a can at his feet: "I thought that, too." he sighed, as the can rolled to the other side of the room "I think it's going to take everyone a while to figure out what to do next. I mean, when the same people who told me that, and I quote, 'it doesn't count as cheating if you really need it and they work for you'decide to stop calling me an home wrecking idiot."
Him?
"You?"
"Well, yeah. I was the one who suggested it, so this is on me. I mean, not that they are wrong. It was stupid and selfish, and maybe if we both had continued living in separate parts of the palace it would have been ok, or if we had…I dunno, seen a counsellor or something and then raised a nice, little batch of kids…'xcept I didn't really want that, you know?"
Roxanne raised an eyebrow.
"You are the same guy who pictured us married at fifteen with five children." who all looked like you, by the way.
"Well, it was you. It was always different with you."
The can that Kid had kicked collided with the wall with a sharp clang.
Different.
Roxanne felt the color drain out from her cheeks, suddenly light-headed.
Different. She…she was different. Meaning that maybe, just maybe, if it had been her marrying him, things would have been slightly less ugly. That maybe they could have talked about her having ties on Earth, and he would have understood, because he wanted to be with her. That maybe Mari, if she was still around, could have gone to visit them, or vice versa. That maybe it would have been her waving that sword at the school of murderous piranhas, instead of a pretty brunette who just so happened to be the princess of Illyron 7. That maybe their kids would all have looked nothing like her, but, if it meant that it would be her and Kid waking them up, it would be fine. The sudden (or were they?) thoughts, the alternatives whirling in her mind felt like a punch to her gut.
"Different…how?"she managed.
"Different."he repeated, and the casualness of his tone made her want to throttle him.
Roxanne rolled her eyes: "Okay, I got that. It was different."
She hoped to God that he wasn't expecting to get a job in any field that involved interaction with actual people. Kid scratched the back of his head, expression apologetic-but-not-really-sorry-at-all.
"It's hard to explain…I mean, you were my first …relationship,I guess. And when you broke up with me, everyone I talked to just said 'well, that was a milestone. Time to find The One' and ...
…and my …Dad, oh, gosh, my dad…he even told me about your mother…"he stopped, as if to check for a pained sigh, or maybe a face barely held together in anticipation of a crying fit. Roxanne waved her hand.
"Go on."
"Well…he told me that when he was my age, he was so sure she was the love of his life and then my mom came into the picture, and that it would pass, and that I would be ok. And for a while, I was. But I had this…feeling something was kinda off, you know? I felt …"
"Hollow?"Roxanne offered.
"Yeah, hollow. Thanks" Kid opened his mouth, presumably to ask how she knew, but then thought better of it "Because I was so sure this was right, you know? That since I had nothing to lose, I could as well marry this pretty girl who had saved my life. Everyone thought it was the rightest thing, and it was the easiest, for sure. This...this was after I left, so there was no Meat, no Terry, no Wally or DikDik...I honestly thought company would be nice, that maybe, if I tried my hardest, I could be as comfortable with her as I was with you. I just felt like I could pinch myself and I would wake up…except I didn't. And I swear I tried" he held up his bare forearm, and Roxanne, despite herself, let out a chuckle.
"Uh, sorry."
"Don't be. I like your laugh."
Roxanne tugged at the collar of her t-shirt. Had the room always been this hot?
"In a way" Kid was saying, more to himself than her "I was still that teenage wimp who cowered in front of a guy with a six pack…"
"I wasn't exactly a paragon of courage either."
"…and I guess" Kid continued " I divorced because I didn't want to be that person any more . Even if" his eyes locked with hers. Roxanne's heart skipped a beat " I couldn't have you."
The same, familiar warmth spread in her belly, complete with butterflies flying in circles. Who knew something akin to nausea would feel so …good? And, like with all the good things, it was only natural to want more. That was why she didn't notice Kid Muscle's face getting closer to hers until she felt the tips of their noses brush against eachother.
No one pulled away.
"The right thing to do would be stop you." Roxanne whispered, eyelashes fluttering "Tell you to go home, talk to your wife, and try to get the throne and people's respect back. Tell you that this is juvenile, that we're not teenagers any more, and there are consequences."
"Consequences for who?"
His breath was warm against her face, and was having the dangerous side effect of making her feel like the thoughts that had been buzzing in her head had been replaced with cotton flakes.
"I don't know. Consequences."
"So what I'm about to do is not right?"
"It's not right, no."
"Perfect."
And the thump of the few cans left on the table falling on the floor was the only noise that was made from then on.
.
.
"…Well, that was intense" Roxanne said between breaths, and Kid Muscle, sitting beside her on the futon, nodded, looking very pink beneath his mask.
"Yeah...intense."
Roxanne smirked. With…several of these makeout sessions on their record, one would assume he'd be a little less shy, even after years and years. On the other hand, she'd always found that shyness, or rather the contrast between that and his loud, public proclaiming of her as his girlfriend and true love (not that, once they were actually in a relationship, she had been opposed to the latter) pretty cute.
Her expression darkened.
Then again, they had been teenagers. Who knew if the same dynamic could work twice? If they, as a couple, could work twice?If they were not just doing this again for old times' sake?Or out of sheer loneliness?Who knew if they would even last?
"I can't do this."
She heard Kid sigh in resignation, eyes following her as she got up from the futon, and then turned swiftly towards him: "It's just…not right, Kid"
She walked to the door, and cracked it open, basking in the orangey dawn.
"I'm sorry, but this..." she looked at Kid one last time, hand not leaving the doorknob, and her lips cracked open in a small smile "… room smells like diapers and stale farts. Either you clean it, or we're staying at my place,next time"
Kid's tense expression relaxed, and he looked at loss for words, once again the love(?)struck, goofy, incredible person she knew. Maybe she looked a little different, too.
With one foot already out of the door, the brunette turned back with a wink:"See you around." she said " You know where to find me."
And she closed the door.