BPOV
I was sitting in my bed waiting for Edward to arrive, when I found myself drifting into a calm state of thought, almost sleep-like. My mind flashed memories-Edward whisking me away from James and Charlie, Edward controlling our few moments of intimacy, Edward 'protecting' me from Jacob.
I thought of all the decisions that Edward had made for me and felt my skin prickle then burn. I was embarrassed and angry for allowing Edward to make all my decisions for me, and I couldn't decide if I was mad at myself for not noticing and stopping this earlier, or Edward for taking over and assuming I couldn't think sensibly when it came to my life. I quickly decided it was both and slowly came out of my daze to see the clock; it was 10:37.
I would have to discuss my thoughts with Edward in the morning, if he ever came. Suddenly, I was doubting everything I had bet on Edward-his selflessness, care, and protection. He made my feel weak and senseless and young. At one time I thought I loved that about him, the way he changed everything, but my distrust has opened my eyes to world that, thought was there all along, but was safely hidden in my happiness-induced state.
Then, how randomly I had come to the conclusion started to scare me and backtracked. Maybe I was irresponsible and young, because I wasn't taking my time to think things over, I was thinking fast and judgmentally.
I drifted to sleep with thoughts of my immaturity and was woken by Edward, who I greeted with a whole-hearted smile, around midnight.
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This is just a simple thought I wanted to write down while it was fresh. It's rough and will probably be improved and added on to in time. I just wanted some opinions on how I made Bella come across.