A/N: This is a Lupin song fic to Craig Davids 'Walking Away.' If the writing comes out like it's supposed to this may help you not get terribly confused:
The words in italic are the words of that excellent song, the bold writing is the actions and the normal writing is Remus' thoughts! I have read this fic so many times now, I am starting to hate it but there we go!
Disclaimer: Craig David owns the song, the pub is probably a real pub somewhere so I don't own it but I do own the men in the pub!!!! I don't own the moon but I do own the rock, Remus' dislike of unpacking and Bransgore…..come to think of it I think Hampshire County Council owns Bransgore……oh well…… and J.K. Rowling owns the rest……I'll shut up now, enjoy!!!!!!!:}
I'm Walking Away
I'm walking away
Remus Lupin was on the Knight Bus returning to his home about 20miles from Hogwarts in a muggle village called Bransgore. He lived in a small house furnished with only a few things. Near the house, away from the village, was a wood where he used to go on the full moon.
Lupin was a werewolf.
From the troubles in my life
Sitting on the Knight Bus he went over the past 33yrs of his life.
'Always on the side lines, shunted for what I am told that I couldn't have this job, that job….what is wrong with me?'
I'm walking away
'Why are people so prejudiced against me? They don't even know me. I am human too, there is nothing wrong with my mind. I am not crazy….so why do people think I am?
Sure there could have been a few crazy werewolf guys, careless enough to transform in villages around people instead of in the forests away from civilization or take wolfsbane potion.'
To find a better day
'Why can't I get a job, why? The first stable job I've had for years was taken away from me because…er…..accidentally Severus Snape had told a table of students what I am…..'
I'm walking away
'He was the sort of people other Wizards listen to. Making out I'm mad and dangerous even treacherous'
Remus shuddered at the word, thinking of Peter
'Snape know perfectly well from our old school days that I am as sane as himself but a deep hatred of me got me kicked out from the staff in Hogwarts because of this. And he said he believed me to be helping Sirius into the castle.'
From the troubles in my life
'I have not been Sirius' friend for 12 years….. until now….now I knew Sirius had been framed…..'
Lupin walked into his small, cold house. The door creaked open and he shivered, it was so cold.
'Well it has been empty for a year…'
Sitting down on his bed he half-heartedly started to unpack, then, giving that up, he decided to go into his blue-tiled kitchen to make himself a drink.
He sat down on his couch and, overcome with anger, he thought about the events of a few weeks before.
I'm walking away
'Why would no one believe my evidence? I saw Peter with my own eyes so did Harry but people would rather believe an ex Death Eater than a werewolf and a boy. Poor Sirius on the run, I don't know why I'm complaining, at least I have a home and don't have to hide away, afraid of those demons from Azkaban tracking me down.'
To find a better day
'I hate Peter. I hate him. He's cause such a lot of pain not just for me but for Sirius and most of all Harry. I feel so sorry for him. He's never known his parents then has to find out one of their best friends practically murdered them. Yes, that's it, murder, that's what Wormtails done to them let alone those muggles in the street. What does he want? Power? Well, he's certainly got enough of that being with Voldemort. Was it our fault he became like this? He was always over-shadowed by Sirius, James and me. James. How much I want to see him again'.
I'm walking away
'And Lily too. Boy, do I miss them. But Harry's right, I don't think Lily and James would wanted us to be murderers for that treacherous rat. I know Sirius misses them to. Him and James loved each other like brothers and now he's gone. Sirius keeps blaming himself for their death. But it wasn't his fault, how can I convince him? Sirius thought he was doing what was best. I wish they'd have chosen me then they'd still be here.'
Sometimes
'Didn't they trust me because I was a werewolf? No, that can't be it, that's never to them. They were the only few people who didn't cringe away from me when they found out what I was. I would have died for them, wouldn't I? Great, thanks Peter, now I'm starting to doubt myself, of course I would have died for them. So would Sirius.'
Some people get me wrong
'I wish I could just walk away from these problems. Walk away from the pain Peter has inflicted on us.
I wish I had someone to love, but there is no one for me. When I get close to someone I stupidly tell them what I am, thinking they'll understand, like my friends. But every time they run from me as though I was about to sprout fangs and bite them.'
Remus looked at the crescent moon, remembering the times he had loved the moonlight.
When there's something I've said or done
' I hate the moon. Every bit of light that shines from it contributes to the pain of transforming and being hated. I hated it less when I was at school. It symbolized those wild nights we had out as animals. Back then I thought those happy times would last forever, but deep down I knew they couldn't. I new back then I would have trouble getting a job. Some wizards and witches can see what I am. I don't know how but some how they do. They hiss and spit at me as I go past.'
Sometimes you feel there is no fun
Remus finished his drink, looked once again at the bag on his bed, but went out the door.
It was a clear, cold, starry night and the moon was overhead as though taunting him. He glared
at it, wanting it to fall from the sky and shatter into a million pieces.He walked into the local pub, The Dog and Duck, trying to see if he could find anyone he knew. As he stepped from the cold to the warmth of the pub the few people in there stopped talking and looked at him like he was going to burst into flames.
That's why we turn and run
'Oh, I forgot,' he thought sarcastically 'they know I'm a mad and dangerous werewolf' but all he said was 'Er…..hi guys!' He received menacing was growls and threats, so he turned and walked into the night.
Dejectedly he kicked a pebble across the street, not knowing where I was heading.
'Oh, I could howl!'
Realizing how funny and probable this thought was he laughed.
But now I truly realize
'Howl! That's a good one! If James could have heard that one he'd have di…….'
Moony scowled
'There I go again! Thinking about them like they were still here. I can't get over their death but why. It's been 12 years since they….I last saw them. 12 years and I still can't get to grips with it.
Some people don't want to compromise
'Every time I look at Harry I can see them reflected in his eyes. Those green eyes just like Lily had. I bet the poor kid must be sick of people telling him he looks like James but has Lily's eyes even I was stupid enough to tell him, as if he didn't know. Being Harry's teacher has been hard '
But I saw them with my own eyes
'Lily was always so protective of him. James was always telling her to 'lighten up, he'll be alright, he's got brains like his father.' Normally at least one of us would snigger and pray Harry would grow up to have slightly more brains than James. Luckily he seems to have taken after Lily for his gentle temperament but after James for getting into trouble.'
Spreading those lies, babe
'If only those people like Snape could learn to feel like I do when I walk into a crowded place. I look around and pray no one can tell I'm a werewolf. I guess I'm a bit paranoid. Has Snape ever felt like this? When he was a Death Eater, did he ever go into a room where there were Aurors and hoping they wouldn't know what he was?'
Don't want to live a lie
'Dumbledore really is a great man. He took me on as a student and then as a teacher. He gave me a chance, more than other people have. He believes in giving people second chances. I wonder why? What has happened to him to make him so trusting towards some people. I thought the last people he would ever hire would be Snape and me. An ex-Death Eater and a werewolf!
To many sleepless nights
Remus found himself back at his house which was a miracle really seeing as he hadn't been looking where he was heading. For all he knew he could have been heading towards Australia. He went to unlock the door but then realized he hadn't locked it.
'You fool Moony, anyone could have let themselves in and stolen your stuff. Not that there's much worth nicking…..'
Not mentioning the fights
He groaned as he saw the half-unpacked bag on his bed.
'I really hate unpacking'
On his bed was a small picture creased and faded as though it had been held and cried over on many lonely nights
'Did I unpack this…..?'
As he had done so many times before he held the picture in his hand, sat on his bed and looked at it. Four grinning 14yr old faces looked up at him and he smiled.
'My three greatest friends. Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail.'
I'm sorry to say, lady
He stared down at his own face which looked tired, pale and somehow more grown up.
'Night after the full moon' he murmured
'The others always did say I was the most sensible of the group but I disagreed. They were right, of course, I can't imagine any of the others becoming teachers.'
I'm walking away
'Wormtail'
The name was poison to him.
'Why did he do it?'
From the troubles in my life
Pleeeeeeeeeease r/r, even if it is only to tell me how much you hate it!!!!:}