DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS

BRINGING YOU HOME

Something had changed. Holding her close to my chest, I could sense that her mind was somewhere else. My gut tightened as I tamped down the uncertainty burning with a coldness up my spine.

Her face looked up to mine and she stretched her neck to reach her lips to mine. It was impossible to deny it any longer. Her kiss was telling me goodbye. But why?

We had something really good going. Once our undercover op was over, I was going to ask her to make things a bit more permanent. Moving in together? Marriage? I'd been there too many times before. But if I could only have her with it, I'd marry her without hesitation.

She pulled away wrapping a blanket around her, hiding the wondrous beauty of her body. I knew I'd never see it again, even as she turned to offer me her signature smile.

How could her eyes shine when she was about to break my heart? Could I have been wrong all along? Had she never felt anything for me? Did I fall short in giving her all that she needed?

It wasn't until the morning when I couldn't hide from the truth any longer. A letter. I couldn't believe she didn't have the guts to tell me to my face. Of course, I would've done my best to stop her, to make her change her mind.

Her words tried to soften the betrayal I felt. There were too many doubts she feared by staying with me. Though I would've supported her no matter what choices she made. Even the loss of 'us' didn't make me love her less.

As time passed she sent me a few postcards from her travels. The messages relayed only that she was safe and doing her job. Soon even those stopped and I had no idea what became of her.

Then to my surprise she showed up in the last place I expected. In my building, as my new boss she stood there. How I wanted to take her in my arms and remind her of what we'd had together, to show her that it meant more than she was willing to admit.

But she made it abundantly clear that it was out of the question. At least that's what her words had said. Looking into her eyes I saw the possibility lying there that maybe there was still a chance.

All the travelling and the hard work she had done had advanced her to being the director. How much higher was she planning to go?

I decided to bide my time. I learned that eventually the things you want are sought out and achieved. I would be there ready and more than willing to open my door and my heart to her.

When she'd accomplished all her dreams, I'd be there to share them with her. I knew she had to prove that she was good enough on her own, so when she showed them all, I wanted her to reach out to me. I'd have been waiting to answer her call and bring her back where she belonged, home to my love.

The years passed and we had our differences of opinion. Mainly she played the politics while I wanted only to get the job done. Despite those opposing moments and the other women that would distract me from time to time, I wanted only her.

Then she became secretive. Even my good friend wouldn't defy her trust. I knew something was wrong. Seriously wrong. Seeing as she was confiding in our medical examiner, I presumed it had to do with her health.

It must've been something incurable, fatal. That thought stilled my heart. But why wouldn't she tell me? I felt I deserved to know. I'd have been a support for her. Was it to protect me? Did she fear that I'd lose my focus? I'll never know.

She chose to be reckless, to go off on her own. Well not completely alone. She turned to yet another old friend of mine for help, instead of me. He told me your reasons after, but it was too late.

It was too late to tell her that I loved her. All the years since she'd written that she had to leave me. I never stopped loving her. Now, once again, a love that burned deep into my heart had been wrenched away by death.

In the end I did bring her home. It wasn't the way I dreamed of, but she'll forever be close. My heart holds all our memories together tightly close and lets me love her in my own way.