Rated T for innuendo and subject matter. Didn't think it was strong enough for an M but if it is, sorry.
A/N: This is a story I wrote for my best GSR bud PiperG in honor of her birthday, May 17th. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIPERG!! Hope you like it. This story is not beta'd so any and all mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of its characters. If I did I would have delivered Grissom to PiperG's doorstep, complete with a big red bow(you can have the bow placed wherever you want girl, its your day LOL!!)
Summary: 6 yr. Old Keri overhears Catherine using an innuendo and confronts her parents. How will they handle the situation?
Them Bones, Them Bones
Sara headed down the hall with 6 yr. old Keri skipping happily by her side, holding her mother's hand. Sara had the evening off and was coming to pick Grissom up. They were gonna stop by the diner for breakfast before they had to drop Keri off at school, then go home and catch some Zzzzz's.
Today was also a special day. Today was Grissom and Sara's 7th wedding anniversary. After they picked Keri up from school that afternoon, they were gonna drop her off at Catherine's house to spend the afternoon with her Aunt Cath, and Uncles Rick, Nick, and Greg while they spent some time alone together. After dinner they would pick Keri up and drop her back off at home where Grammy Laura would watch her while they were at work.
"UNCLE NICK!!" Keri yelled excitedly as she spotted Nick looking through a microscope.
"Mommy, can I go see Uncle Nick? Please?" Keri begged, batting her big blue eyes at Sara. She had her father's eyes and her mother's wavy, shoulder length brown hair.
"Alright, but just for a moment. Don't get in his way and do as your told."
"YAY!!" exclaimed Keri as she took off to see Nick.
"Have him bring you to the break room ok?!" Sara hollered after Keri.
"OK!!" the little girl yelled back.
"Hey Cath, have you seen Gil?" asked Sara as she entered the break room.
"Oh hey Sara, yeah he's in his office." Catherine replied as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "So you got your afternoon planned?"
"Yup, after we drop Keri off at your place we're gonna go play some miniature golf. You know I NEVER got to do that as a kid? Gil said everyone should get to do that at least once in their life. After that we're gonna go back home and watch a rented movie, then go to the park for a picnic and then walk along the pond, watching the sunset, then we'll come pick up Keri before work."
"That sounds wonderful but aren't you forgetting something?" asked Catherine.
"What?" replied Sara, a little confused.
"It's your anniversary silly, aren't you gonna jump his bones?" Catherine answered back with a devilish grin on her face.
"CATHERINE!!" Sara yelped, half laughing and half shocked at what she just said. Just then Keri walked into the break room holding Nick's hand.
"Hey mommy, is it time to go to breakfast now?"
"Yes bugaboo, we just need to get daddy in his office first and then we can go." "Hey Nick, hope she wasn't too much of a bother."
"Oh no, not at all. I love her visits." Nick replied, a little red in the face and refusing to look Sara in the eye. Sara cocked her head to the side a little and gave him a strange look, finding it odd that Nick wouldn't look at her.
"Well bugaboo, let's go get daddy." Sara said as she shrugged off Nick's odd behavior.
"YAY!!" yelled Keri, "I want pancakes, no waffles, no egg and toast, no pancakes but with chocolate chips." spouted the 6 yr. old as they headed down the hall.
All day Keri wandered what Aunt Catherine was talking about. She had wanted to ask her parents over breakfast but forgot once her chocolate chip pancakes had arrived.
She asked a few of her friends but no one seemed to know. "It's gotta be a game right?" said her friend Amy.
"But what kind of game? And what kind of bones?" replied Keri.
"Dinosaur?" questioned Amy.
"But my daddy doesn't have any dinosaur bones."
"Does he have any other kind of bones?" asked her friend Billy.
"Yeah, he's got different animal bones."
"Well that must be it. It's a game using some kind of bones." said Billy, "You know I've got dinosaur bones at home, got them in the gift shop in Boston last summer on vacation. Maybe if you find out the rules we can play the game too." thought Billy.
"Cool" said Keri.
3 o'clock came and Sara and Grissom were waiting out front to pick her up and take her to Catherine's.
"How was school today bugaboo?" asked Sara.
"Great, I made you a picture in art class for your anniversary, see? There's you, and daddy, and butterflies." Keri said proudly, showing off her drawing.
"What's that in the jar in daddy's hands?" asked Sara.
"Those are daddy's racing cockroaches."
"Looks just like them too." said Grissom smiling as they headed off for Catherine's.
"Mommy?"
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you something? Actually two somethings?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Are you gonna jump daddy's bones?"
"WHAT?!" both Sara and Grissom yelped.
"Are you gonna jump daddy's bones? I heard Aunt Catherine ask you that this morning."
"Well umm..." replied Sara, trying hard to quickly think of how to respond to her daughter's question.
"Is it a game?" Keri asked after a moment of silence.
"Uh yeah, that's it. It's a game" said Sara.
"How do you play?
"Well..." Sara began.
"Is it like hopscotch? Where you toss a pebble and have to jump over it?" Keri asked.
"Not exactly. Let's just say daddy hides it and when I find it I get to jump it." replied Sara. Out of the corner of Sara's eye, she caught a shaking body. Grissom had been fighting hard not to laugh out loud during this conversation and now tears were forming in his eyes as he continued his silent battle not to laugh.
"Cool, can I play too?" Keri asked.
"Oh I'm sorry bugaboo, but this game is for grown-ups only."
"Awwww, when will I be old enough?"
Sara thought for a moment, "when your thirty" she finally responded.
"Awwww" cried Keri again. "Well Billy says he's got dinosaur bones at home and when I'm old enough I'm gonna jump his bones."
Grissom swiped away the tears from his face, still shaking with silent laughter and thankful his daughter had asked Sara her question instead of him.
"Mommy, you still haven't answered my first question. Are you gonna jump daddy's bones?"
"Yes dear, are you gonna jump my bones?" Grissom asked smirking at Sara, barely able to compose himself enough to ask the question.
"Not if he doesn't wipe that smirk off his face." answered Sara.
Within an instant, the smile was gone and his body ceased to shake. Just at that moment they arrived at Catherine's and Sara was thankful that this embarrassing conversation was coming to a close. Catherine, Warrick, Nick, and Greg all stood on the front lawn, waving at the car as it came to a stop. Keri sprinted out of the car, anxious to hug her favorite aunt and uncles.
"Ready for a fun-filled afternoon?" Warrick asked.
"YES!!" screamed Keri excitedly.
"You be good now, you hear me bugaboo?" said Sara.
"I will mommy."
As the car started to pull away Keri shouted "HAVE FUN JUMPING DADDY'S BONES!!"
The guys all stood shocked and wide-eyed while Catherine covered her mouth with her hand, instantly flashing back to that morning in her brain and realizing Keri must have overheard her. Nick's face once again turned red as he too remembered that morning as he and Keri approached the break room.
"I don't wanna know" said Greg as they headed to the house. "I do NOT want to know."
The End
A/N: Well I hope you all found it amusing. Reviews are not required but are appreciated.
A/N: To PiperG, I hope you enjoyed your birthday story. I tried to get Billy Petersen for ya but damn it that guy is quick. It was like trying to catch a greased pig LOL. Anyways Happy Birthday, hope you have a great day.