"I'm not breaking up with Sam. I really like him, and he makes me feel really smart...I think you need to be somewhere that's as big and as hot as you are. It's ok to follow your dreams...Why shouldn't you get the chance to be around people who are like you, who appreciate you,be a part of a community. Why can't you have a real girlfriend, but not a best friend cause that part's already taken...Sam and I are going to Breadsticks tonight to pretend to be British, you wanna come?"

Santana replayed Brittany's words over, and over again in her mind. Brittany hurt Santana deeply, with her words. Her heart was broken into a million pieces. She didn't know if she could move on with her life. Santana would never stop thinking about Brittany's feather soft blonde hair, her hypnotic blue eyes, soft pink lips and silky tongue, her perfectly toned body and long legs. Thinking about how the girl she loved is holding and loving someone else in her arm made her nauseated, but she knew deep in her heart it was over between them.

She sat on the edge of her bed in her bedroom, crying hysterically, elbows propped on her knees with her hands covering her face. She could not breathe; it felt like she had been crying for hours. The truth is that it had been two non-stop hours, because of Brittany. Santana needed someone to comfort her, she felt like she was losing her mind, she was tired of holding it all in, and wanted to scream aloud, to feel some relief. Her parents were at work, she had called her mother to let her know she was leaving town.

Santana tried to fight back the tears when she heard her mother call her name, but all she could do was release a heart-shattering scream. Maribel knew something was wrong when Santana had called, so she left work early to see about her daughter. She ran up the stairs as fast as her legs would carry her to daughter's bedroom, where she found Santana laying across her bed, on her back, with her hands covering her face.

Maribel tried to move her hands from her face to get a good look at her sobbing daughter, but Santana refused to remove her hands from her face. Maribel knew that her daughter would shut down, and make herself sick if she didn't calm her down. Therefore, she laid down on her side facing her daughter, stroking her hair, and massaging her forehead and right temple with her thumb and index finger.

"Tell me what's wrong, Mija." Maribel gently whispered.

"S-She doesn't love me anymore!" Santana angrily exclaimed. "...she doesn't love me anymore." Santana removed her hands revealing sad, swollen, and red tear filled brown eyes. "Brittany...doesn't…love me anymore, mama." Santana defeated, tried to explain to her mother through sobs and sniffles. " I don't understand…I-I thought she loved me…I thought we were s-soul mates…WHY?!" Santana screamed angrily. " Why doesn't she love me enough to take another chance with me? Why does she always choose them over me? Maribel knew that Santana wasn't expecting her to answer those questions, so she sat silently to listen while her daughter anguished over her situation. Maybe she never loved me at all, Santana thought. She noticed that her mother was watching her, concern and sadness covered her face, it made Santana feel vulnerable. Santana wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hands, got up from the bed and started packing her bags.

"Mija, what's going on?" Maribel confusingly questioned.

"I'm moving to New York, I have friends there, Kurt and Rachel from glee club, and my friend Dani that Quinn and I met at the diner where we had lunch, when we went to visit Rachel that time." Santana ranted nonchalantly, trying to answer her mother's questions before she asked.

"Santana, I don't think it's a good idea for you to make any major changes in your life right now.

You're just getting out of a relationship…what if Brittany was just being emotional and really want to be with you, New York is not a four hour drive." Maribel asked quietly. "What about college?

Santana saw fear and concern in her mother's eyes. She walked over to were her mother was sitting on the bed, cupped her mother's face in her hands they locked eyes, her eyes were an older watery version of her own right now, and kissed her mother's forehead.

"I love you, so much." Santana felt so much love for this woman, she never wanted to be the reason her mother would ever cry, unless they were happy tears. Other than Brittany, Maribel was the only human being that ever looked at her as if she was the most important person in the world.

"I scheduled a flight for tomorrow afternoon. Dani's meeting me at the airport. I will be staying with her for a while. She said they may be hiring at the diner were she work. If it does not work out with Dani, I'll just move in with Kurt and Rachel until I can do better, don't worry." Santana continued her rant.

"And college" her mother asked again.

Santana turned around with her back, to Maribel, to continue packing her suitcase.

"I dropped out" Santana whispered, so low you could hardly hear her. Santana had dropped out of college, moved in with Elaine the co-captain of her cheer squad. She was working a dead end job at a restaurant near campus to help pay the rent. Elaine talked to her about earning an associate's degree online as an alternative to dropping out, and introduced her to people that had chosen that route. The people she met were still young and some of them where already working in their chosen field. Santana snapped out of her thoughts by her mother's next question.

"When did you drop out Santana?" her mother asked.

"Did you drop out of school to be with Brittany, with all the relationship drama you two have had over the past few months…Did you even consider that maybe she had moved on when she started dating that boy, Maribel was livid.

"This not the first time she's hurt you like this…you give up everything on what might be...Santana? She's moving forward and you're what…

"Mama stop!" Santana screamed louder than she wanted at her mother. Santana felt flush and angry to hear her mother say those things about Brittany. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes again, but she could not let her mother see her cry anymore.

"You don't know anything about her." Santana yelled. "You don't know anything about us." She mumbled.

"It's all my fault; you can't blame Britt for how things turned out. All the things I did to her over the years, I can understand why she doesn't trust me anymore. I don't want to talk about this right now, so let it go mom, please." Santana sat down on the bed next to her mother, took her mother's hands into her own, and willed her mother to look at her.

"I'm still a full time student, but for online courses. I've been enrolled in an accelerated program at Columbia for almost a full semester now. I have already sent my application to NYU for fall registration. I don't have anything that can hinder my enrollment, so I should be okay. Can you live with that?" Santana asked with a confident smile.

"New York is a big city" Maribel still not convinced. Santana saw the doubt and apprehension in her eyes.

Santana squeezed her mother's hand, staring into a face that was so much like her own.

"Give me 18 months, but if my plans falter in any way at all. Promise I will not hesitate to call you and papa for help,

Santana said. Maribel just hugged her daughter, because she knew once Santana made her mind up about something, she was a force to reckon with, and she felt sorry for anyone standing in her way.

"Deal?" Santana asked.

Maribel stared adoringly at her daughter, "when did you become such a grown up?"

"Today."

"You'll have to run this by your father, Santana"

Santana smiled. "Dad's the easy one. What time will he be home tonight?"

Maribel looked at her watch, "he'll be home in a couple of hours for dinner, he's on call at the hospital tonight."

Santana absent-mindedly nodded to her mother. She was thinking she would have to repeat everything to her father, and she wasn't sure if she would be able to avoid the waterworks.

"Mama, can you tell him for me?"

"No sweetheart... Maribel said placing her hand on Santana's shoulder... it's your responsibility, time to face the real world. Now come help me with dinner." Santana pouted, but her mother rolled her eyes and smiled. Maribel walked toward the door to leave.

"Come on Santana, I really want you to help this time. It may be the last time we get to do this for a while." Santana gave her mother a wide grin, because she knew that she would help her convince her father that this was a good plan.

"I'll be down in a sec, I just need to use the phone real quick."

Maribel frowned at her daughter knowingly. "No not Brittany, I've already deleted her, I'm over it...promise." Santana knew she wasn't over Brittany, but Brittany was over Santana, and it was time for her to move forward as well.

"I won't be long." Santana picked her phone up from her desk to text Quinn.

Santana: Operation: Road to Independence, a go!

Quinn: Parents cool with the move

Santana: Mom is, still need to clear with dad, he'll be ok with it tho

Quinn: Have you spoken with Kurt and Rachel yet?

Santana: Not staying with Hummelberry. Staying with Dani

Quinn: I don't know San, she has tattoos

Santana: I'm not trying to date her Fabray, she's just helping me out

Quinn: Well I'm not happy with this decision Santana you don't even know her

What happened with Britt?

Santana: Long story. If you're still coming to NY this weekend, I'll bring you up to speed in person.

I'll call you when I get there tomorrow

Quinn: K

Santana giggled at Quinn playing a mother hen, she didn't get mad. Even though they had a love, hate relationship, not to mention, all the vengeful shit they pulled on each other in high school. Quinn was there for her when she needed her most. She was the best friend she had now. Santana found Dani's name in her contacts and sent her a text.

Santana: Are you still ok with me coming tomorrow

Santana was beginning to worry. It took Dani about 3 or 4 minutes to respond back. She thought Dani had changed her mind.

Dani: Sorry, I'm at work. I was serving a customer. What time is your flight?

Santana: Plane lands at LaGuardia at 1:45 p.m.

Dani: I'll be there. See you soon.

Santana finished packing then went downstairs to help her mother finish dinner. Her father came home 20 minutes after dinner was done. Her father went to the bathroom to wash up before dinner. They all sat down to eat. Santana's father smiled at her as she passed him the dinner rolls.

"So mami told me you have some plan you want to discuss"

"Alejandro DeMarcus Lopez, I told you not to mention our discussion!" Maribel pretended to be upset with her husband.

Her father looked at her adoringly, "so New York, huh?"

"Yes Papi, New York is the plan." She replied looking down at the table as she spoke.

She wasn't intimidated by her father, he was so protective of his family that she knew it would be hard for him to agree to let her go to such a large and dangerous city; he spoiled her rotten.

"New York is so far away mija, don't you love us anymore" her father faked a pout and smiled at his daughter.

"Our baby is all grown up mami" he proclaimed. Maribel nodded her head and smiled proudly at her family.

"There are conditions to this plan Santana." Her father said sternly.

"Okay" She knew she would have to agree with his wishes, if she wanted his blessing on her plan.

He handed me a document with his list of demands/conditions that required my signature.

"A contract...seriously?" she glared at her father. Dr. Lopez had a half smile almost smirk on his face. "Seriously." Maribel knew the fireworks was about to begin, they were so much alike, stubborn with a mean streak about them. "Call home every day, access to check on my progress and grades, Skype to introduce you to my roommate. How is this (slamming the document on the table) being all grown up?

Maribel was becoming annoyed with Santana's attitude. "Calm down and show some respect to your parents, Santana. What we're asking is reasonable, you're only 18 and just graduated high school 7 months ago. You can't compare Louisville to New York. You want our blessing...go with the contract...if not, then just go. You're being very disrespectful and acting like a child right now, this is still our home and our rules.

Santana was furious. "Fine! Can I borrow a pen?" she asked her father, because her mother was in no mood to deal with her tantrum, and Santana knew it. She scribbled her signature on the contract...there, happy now." Not really speaking to anyone.

Santana turned her eyes to her mother. "May I be excused? I need to get some rest...long day tomorrow." Maribel didn't answer, she just sat there with her arms folded on the dining room table, glaring at her daughter. Dr. Lopez sensed the tension between the two, he stood up and pulled daughter into a bear hug and he kissed her on her cheek "Goodnight sweetheart, I love you, you'll do fine." Santana walked over to her mother, their eyes met. " I'm sorry" was all she could say in a very quiet small voice.

Maribel stood up and nodded toward the stairwell, Santana headed in that direction, but stopped and took her father's hand and squeezed it as she kissed him on his cheek. Maribel look at her husband, his eyes filled with so much emotion she patted his shoulder as she walked past, and almost cried. Santana was a few steps ahead of her, but she stopped and turned around when she heard her mother approaching.

Maribel pulled Santana into a tight hug, with her arms around Santana's waist, and left cheek on her chest. Santana could not help but think about when she left for Louisville, her parents went to work and left a note. "Have a safe trip" is all they wrote. I've been away from home 7 months. What is the big deal? Her mother's sobbing shook her out of her thoughts. Santana pulled away from their embrace to see her mother was crying crocodile tears.

"Mama don't cry." She pleaded. "I'm sorry, but I can't be here right now, I need time and distance from Lima, Ohio.

"Santana, you will call every day, and Skype once a week...I mean it." Maribel's voice was firm, but shaky, leaving no room for interpretation.

"That part of the contract was my idea. Your father didn't walk in on the mess of a person I found in bed this afternoon; screaming and crying her eyes out, you were inconsolable, and it scared me. I need to know you're okay. We're going to miss you visiting every other weekend, you bring life to this house, Santana. You are what made this home for all these years.

"It's not like "I'm dying or leaving forever" Santana teased.

"You're right, but you are leaving to make a new home for yourself, Brittany was the only thing that kept you coming back. I want you to be happy mija, and if living in New York makes you happy, I'm all for it. Papi and I are taking you to the airport tomorrow. Now go get some rest. See you tomorrow."

Santana embraced her mother and swayed side to side, kissed her on the cheek. "You're special to me too. Thank you for everything. Good night mama, I love you.

"Good night sweetheart, I love you more.

Santana took a shower, brushed her teeth, put on boxer shorts and a tank top then fell across her bed on stomach, she was exhausted; this had been a very long emotional day. She noticed her phone was beeping on her nightstand, letting her know she had one missed call, and three text messages.

There was one voicemail and one text message from Quinn, both wanting to know how things went with my dad and Brittany had texted me twice, the first text she sent was five hours after we had talked. It only said "Hi" and the second text she sent said "Hey?!" Was she serious? I could feel my eyes starting to water. I didn't know if they were tears from anger or me feeling hurt, maybe both. I deleted her number from my contacts, along with all the glee kids, except Kurt and Rachel. I did the same thing with my Twitter, and Facebook accounts and just because I can, changed my ID on both accounts.

I will definitely be getting a new phone and have my number changed, as soon as possible. I finally texted Quinn back and told her I was still coming, and she responded "Yay! See you tomorrow." I smiled at her text, but the reality of my life started seeping into my head. My feelings for Brittany, leaving home for good, and the fear of failing were all too overwhelming. My eyes started to water, tears were forming at the brim of my eyelid threatening to fall, but I fought the urge. I just cannot shed another and waste another minute on someone who doesn't give a damn about me.

I turned over on my back, staring at the ceiling in my bedroom, and began hugging myself because that was the only comfort I had right now. I thought back to when I shared my bed with Brittany, staring at the same ceiling, feeling so happy and complete. The thought of never having Brittany touch me, smile at me, or love me the same made me feel empty and cold. Never being able to look into those piercing blue eyes and find the same love for me was more than I could bear. The dam broke and she cried herself to sleep.