Not So Important Missions
Chapter 1
By Li Kenta
******
Hwang and Misturugi stand in front of a huge Oriental temple; red walls surrounded the main building and the huge garden in the courtyard, with a gigantic staircase leading upward to the front door. The bewildered warriors continue to stare at the temple, having appeared there five seconds prior.
"Where the hell." Hwang started.
".am I?" Mitsurugi ended.
The two turn to each, finally noticing each other, took'em a while didn't it, and yelled in complete unison.
"What are you doing here? Huh? Hey! Stop that! Why I outta."
"Are you two finished?" asked a new male voice.
The pair of feuding Asians turn to the source of the voice, the warrior Kilik, looking slightly annoyed at them. They immediately stop and sulk still shooting dirty looks at each other.
"Jerk." Mitsurugi mumbled.
"Loser." Hwang countered.
"Ass."
"Basatard."
"Korean dog!"
"Japanese warmonger!"
"Motherfu-" the two started together, but once again Kilik interrupted.
"DUMBASSES!!"
Once again the pair turn to face Kilik, which by now is beyond pissed off.
"If both of you don't shut up," he began "I'll release the evil seed inside and rip both your sorry asses apart!"
The two immediately stopped their fighting, a looked down, avoiding eye contact with the evil seed bearer.
"Okay, since we don't know what's going on here let's just go inside and see if we can find out anything?" Kilik proposed.
"Right." His two companions said together, but before another fight broke out he stepped in between them and entered the temple.
Inside the temple it was dark, except for a few torches that gave a meager amount of light, but it was enough for the men to see three women looking around.
"Xianghua?" Kilik asked.
"Seung Mina?" Hwang questioned.
A silence followed their questions, they all turned to Mitsurugi, who was scratching himself.
"What?" he asked, getting strange looks from the guys. "Oh, me too? Uh, okay, Taki?"
"Kilik?" Xianghua asked.
"Hwang?" Seung Mina questioned.
Another silence followed, the girls turned to Taki, picking things out of her fingernails with her kodachi.
"Huh?" she looked at the women, their expressions giving her the answer she needed. "Well, alright then, uh, Mitsurugi?"
"What are you doing here?" Kilik asked.
"We just appeared here." Xianghua answered.
"Really?" Mitsurugi questioned, get only a nod from Taki. "Damn."
******
Meanwhile outside the temple, a certain Korean girl, hides in the bushes hoping to evade the others and escape.
"I'll just sneak out and give Hwang the slip." She said, chuckling as she did.
She finally reached the stairs, and assuming she was home free she jumped out happily.
"Freedom, Freedom, Free-CRAP!!"
Keyword word being 'assuming', because at the bottom of the stairs was none other then Hwang, arms crossed across his broad chest, tapping his foot impatiently, looking rather annoyed.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked in montone.
"Umm, bathroom.?" she answered, rather unconvincingly.
"Yeah, right, come let's go." He order, grabbing her arm and pulling her forward, a task much more difficult then it first seemed, as she didn't seem to want to move.
"No way, I'm staying rooted to this spot!" she retaliated defiantly.
Hwang let out a sigh, and began to rub his temples, finally he spoke.
"Well, I guess I have no choice."
"You're going to let me go?" she suddenly piped in hopefully.
"No, uproot you!" he yelled as he grabbed her and threw the rebellious women over his shoulder.
"Hey!" she protested. "Let me go!"
"No." the soldier replied simply.
It was at this point Seung Mina lost her cool, in a fit of rage she began flailing around wildly hoping that Hwang would lose his grip. Truth be told Hwang was losing his grip but, was determined to keep the upper hand, unfortunately the girl over his shoulder was not one to give up easily, and continued to fight. Eventually, Hwang lost his grip on her, but quickly grab her again, unfortunately, during all this she had slid forward a bit causing Hwang to grab her in the place neither one wanted, her rear end. A deafening silence followed, and I don't have to be a psychic to tell you it was awkward.
"GET YOUR HAND OFF MY BUTT, YOU SICKO PERV!!!" she screeched.
"Well, if hadn't been squirming, this wouldn't have happened!" he countered.
The pair continued to argue all the back to the temple. ******
Meanwhile inside the temple the remaining women were discussing a rather important subject.
".and that's the key to a perfect manicure." Xianghua ended her lesson.
"So that's it." Taki said, taking notes.
"How the hell did this conversation turn to manicures?" Mitsurugi asked his companion.
"It's a secret of the fairer sex." Answered, just as confused as the samurai.
Before the could press the subject further, there was the sound of a door bursting open, turning to the direction of the sound the group saw an agitated Hwang carrying a pissed Seung Mina on his shoulders.
"Hey." He greeted as he dropped the agitated young woman on her butt.
"Be careful!" she scolded, rubbing her sore bottom.
"Keepin' busy?" Mitsurugi mocked.
"Shove it." Hwang shot back.
"Sooooooooo, anything new?" Seung Mina asked.
"Nothing." Xianghua answered hopelessly.
"That's what you think!!" A new voice added.
The group immediately began scanning there surroundings, hoping to find the sorce of the voice, finally Xianghua spotted him.
"Look," she screamed. "on the ceiling, a ninja!"
True to the Chinese woman's word, a ninja was on the ceiling. With a laugh he jumped down and tried to landed on his tip toes, why? I don't know, so just go with, any way, the force of the landing and his weight caused his foot to bend inward with a rather sickening crack. He immediately drop to the ground clutching his throbbing foot in an attempt to dull the pain.
"Oooooooo, I'm gonna feel this tomorrow." He said to himself.
"Um, mister ninja, sir?" Seung Mina asked.
"I thought you ninja's had a perfect sense of balance." Mitsurugi said to Taki, while sweatdropping.
"We are." she groaned, also sweatdropping.
"WHAT!!!?" the injured shinobi replied venomously.
"Why are you here?"
"Oh right," he jumped to his feet, and by the fact that he fell right back down, he foot still hurt, but he ignored it and stood up again. "I have a important message for all of you so listen well!"
He dug into his gi, after pulling out a half-eaten butterfingers bar and a rubber ducky, he manage to fish out a scrap of paper.
"And here it is," he announced as he began reading. "A gallon of milk, dozen eggs, a box of tampons.oh, wait, this is my wife's shopping list."
"Not exactly, competent is he?" Mitsurugi commented.
"Oh, shut up!" Taki yelled.
The ninja continued to dig through his gi, this time pulling out several Evangelion manga's; finally he pulled out a scroll of paper.
"Here it is!" he said triumphantly, holding the scroll above his head, only to have it snatched from his hand by Kilik.
"I'll read it, thank you." He informed the bewildered ninja and began reading:
Welcome warriors from all over the world, or at least Asia,
I have called you here so you can do a few missions for me.
The reason will be explained later, but for now I will have
You do a simple mission to test your skills. By now you're
Asking yourselves what obligation do you have to do this?
Well let's just say you go only where I want you to go, when
I want you to go, so escape is futile. Now your first mission
Is to get the sword of Voldo's master, good luck, you'll need
It.heh heh heh, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, *hack*
*cough* oh crap! I think I just swallowed a fly, huh, hey, stop
writing!
"He swallowed a fly?" asked a bewildered Hwang.
"And he wrote it down?" added Mitsurugi. "Yeah, he tends to do that." The ninja revealed.
"Well, by the looks of it, we have to go, so let's get this over with." Kilik suggested.
"Yeah, it's probably the only way to get out of here." Xianghua complied.
"Yeah, but which direction is it?" asked Seung Mina.
Suddenly a door burst open in the temple, sending a gust of wind inside the temple, and out of nowhere a voice boomed through out the building.
"Head north for two days and you will reach Voldo's money pit!" it informed. "but before you go, take heed of this advice."
The group listened intently to the voice hoping for great wisdom.
"Stop by our gift shop, key chains to remember your trip, only $2.99!!"
The group falls over anime style.
"Come on, guys, let's go." Kilik said, getting up.
"Right!" the rest agreed.
And off our heroes go, to face unparalleled danger and a really creepy guy, confident they would escape this prison soon.
.yeah, right, that'll happen.
A/N: Hey, I'm back. Now you're all probably wondering why I took this off, well, the thing is, I DIDN'T!!! Someone reported me, and the fanfiction admins took it off for the damn format, TWICE!!!! Now that just pisses the hell out of me, but I'm back with a new format and hopefully I'll, stay, if I don't, I'm discontinuing this. Well, remember to review, again.
Chapter 1
By Li Kenta
******
Hwang and Misturugi stand in front of a huge Oriental temple; red walls surrounded the main building and the huge garden in the courtyard, with a gigantic staircase leading upward to the front door. The bewildered warriors continue to stare at the temple, having appeared there five seconds prior.
"Where the hell." Hwang started.
".am I?" Mitsurugi ended.
The two turn to each, finally noticing each other, took'em a while didn't it, and yelled in complete unison.
"What are you doing here? Huh? Hey! Stop that! Why I outta."
"Are you two finished?" asked a new male voice.
The pair of feuding Asians turn to the source of the voice, the warrior Kilik, looking slightly annoyed at them. They immediately stop and sulk still shooting dirty looks at each other.
"Jerk." Mitsurugi mumbled.
"Loser." Hwang countered.
"Ass."
"Basatard."
"Korean dog!"
"Japanese warmonger!"
"Motherfu-" the two started together, but once again Kilik interrupted.
"DUMBASSES!!"
Once again the pair turn to face Kilik, which by now is beyond pissed off.
"If both of you don't shut up," he began "I'll release the evil seed inside and rip both your sorry asses apart!"
The two immediately stopped their fighting, a looked down, avoiding eye contact with the evil seed bearer.
"Okay, since we don't know what's going on here let's just go inside and see if we can find out anything?" Kilik proposed.
"Right." His two companions said together, but before another fight broke out he stepped in between them and entered the temple.
Inside the temple it was dark, except for a few torches that gave a meager amount of light, but it was enough for the men to see three women looking around.
"Xianghua?" Kilik asked.
"Seung Mina?" Hwang questioned.
A silence followed their questions, they all turned to Mitsurugi, who was scratching himself.
"What?" he asked, getting strange looks from the guys. "Oh, me too? Uh, okay, Taki?"
"Kilik?" Xianghua asked.
"Hwang?" Seung Mina questioned.
Another silence followed, the girls turned to Taki, picking things out of her fingernails with her kodachi.
"Huh?" she looked at the women, their expressions giving her the answer she needed. "Well, alright then, uh, Mitsurugi?"
"What are you doing here?" Kilik asked.
"We just appeared here." Xianghua answered.
"Really?" Mitsurugi questioned, get only a nod from Taki. "Damn."
******
Meanwhile outside the temple, a certain Korean girl, hides in the bushes hoping to evade the others and escape.
"I'll just sneak out and give Hwang the slip." She said, chuckling as she did.
She finally reached the stairs, and assuming she was home free she jumped out happily.
"Freedom, Freedom, Free-CRAP!!"
Keyword word being 'assuming', because at the bottom of the stairs was none other then Hwang, arms crossed across his broad chest, tapping his foot impatiently, looking rather annoyed.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked in montone.
"Umm, bathroom.?" she answered, rather unconvincingly.
"Yeah, right, come let's go." He order, grabbing her arm and pulling her forward, a task much more difficult then it first seemed, as she didn't seem to want to move.
"No way, I'm staying rooted to this spot!" she retaliated defiantly.
Hwang let out a sigh, and began to rub his temples, finally he spoke.
"Well, I guess I have no choice."
"You're going to let me go?" she suddenly piped in hopefully.
"No, uproot you!" he yelled as he grabbed her and threw the rebellious women over his shoulder.
"Hey!" she protested. "Let me go!"
"No." the soldier replied simply.
It was at this point Seung Mina lost her cool, in a fit of rage she began flailing around wildly hoping that Hwang would lose his grip. Truth be told Hwang was losing his grip but, was determined to keep the upper hand, unfortunately the girl over his shoulder was not one to give up easily, and continued to fight. Eventually, Hwang lost his grip on her, but quickly grab her again, unfortunately, during all this she had slid forward a bit causing Hwang to grab her in the place neither one wanted, her rear end. A deafening silence followed, and I don't have to be a psychic to tell you it was awkward.
"GET YOUR HAND OFF MY BUTT, YOU SICKO PERV!!!" she screeched.
"Well, if hadn't been squirming, this wouldn't have happened!" he countered.
The pair continued to argue all the back to the temple. ******
Meanwhile inside the temple the remaining women were discussing a rather important subject.
".and that's the key to a perfect manicure." Xianghua ended her lesson.
"So that's it." Taki said, taking notes.
"How the hell did this conversation turn to manicures?" Mitsurugi asked his companion.
"It's a secret of the fairer sex." Answered, just as confused as the samurai.
Before the could press the subject further, there was the sound of a door bursting open, turning to the direction of the sound the group saw an agitated Hwang carrying a pissed Seung Mina on his shoulders.
"Hey." He greeted as he dropped the agitated young woman on her butt.
"Be careful!" she scolded, rubbing her sore bottom.
"Keepin' busy?" Mitsurugi mocked.
"Shove it." Hwang shot back.
"Sooooooooo, anything new?" Seung Mina asked.
"Nothing." Xianghua answered hopelessly.
"That's what you think!!" A new voice added.
The group immediately began scanning there surroundings, hoping to find the sorce of the voice, finally Xianghua spotted him.
"Look," she screamed. "on the ceiling, a ninja!"
True to the Chinese woman's word, a ninja was on the ceiling. With a laugh he jumped down and tried to landed on his tip toes, why? I don't know, so just go with, any way, the force of the landing and his weight caused his foot to bend inward with a rather sickening crack. He immediately drop to the ground clutching his throbbing foot in an attempt to dull the pain.
"Oooooooo, I'm gonna feel this tomorrow." He said to himself.
"Um, mister ninja, sir?" Seung Mina asked.
"I thought you ninja's had a perfect sense of balance." Mitsurugi said to Taki, while sweatdropping.
"We are." she groaned, also sweatdropping.
"WHAT!!!?" the injured shinobi replied venomously.
"Why are you here?"
"Oh right," he jumped to his feet, and by the fact that he fell right back down, he foot still hurt, but he ignored it and stood up again. "I have a important message for all of you so listen well!"
He dug into his gi, after pulling out a half-eaten butterfingers bar and a rubber ducky, he manage to fish out a scrap of paper.
"And here it is," he announced as he began reading. "A gallon of milk, dozen eggs, a box of tampons.oh, wait, this is my wife's shopping list."
"Not exactly, competent is he?" Mitsurugi commented.
"Oh, shut up!" Taki yelled.
The ninja continued to dig through his gi, this time pulling out several Evangelion manga's; finally he pulled out a scroll of paper.
"Here it is!" he said triumphantly, holding the scroll above his head, only to have it snatched from his hand by Kilik.
"I'll read it, thank you." He informed the bewildered ninja and began reading:
Welcome warriors from all over the world, or at least Asia,
I have called you here so you can do a few missions for me.
The reason will be explained later, but for now I will have
You do a simple mission to test your skills. By now you're
Asking yourselves what obligation do you have to do this?
Well let's just say you go only where I want you to go, when
I want you to go, so escape is futile. Now your first mission
Is to get the sword of Voldo's master, good luck, you'll need
It.heh heh heh, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, *hack*
*cough* oh crap! I think I just swallowed a fly, huh, hey, stop
writing!
"He swallowed a fly?" asked a bewildered Hwang.
"And he wrote it down?" added Mitsurugi. "Yeah, he tends to do that." The ninja revealed.
"Well, by the looks of it, we have to go, so let's get this over with." Kilik suggested.
"Yeah, it's probably the only way to get out of here." Xianghua complied.
"Yeah, but which direction is it?" asked Seung Mina.
Suddenly a door burst open in the temple, sending a gust of wind inside the temple, and out of nowhere a voice boomed through out the building.
"Head north for two days and you will reach Voldo's money pit!" it informed. "but before you go, take heed of this advice."
The group listened intently to the voice hoping for great wisdom.
"Stop by our gift shop, key chains to remember your trip, only $2.99!!"
The group falls over anime style.
"Come on, guys, let's go." Kilik said, getting up.
"Right!" the rest agreed.
And off our heroes go, to face unparalleled danger and a really creepy guy, confident they would escape this prison soon.
.yeah, right, that'll happen.
A/N: Hey, I'm back. Now you're all probably wondering why I took this off, well, the thing is, I DIDN'T!!! Someone reported me, and the fanfiction admins took it off for the damn format, TWICE!!!! Now that just pisses the hell out of me, but I'm back with a new format and hopefully I'll, stay, if I don't, I'm discontinuing this. Well, remember to review, again.