Been a long time since I wrote anything fanfic related. I'm kind of rusty again but I'm hoping this gets me back on track. I'm going away from the Resident Evil world for now, still needing a break from it. For those of you still reading with me as I write this new fanfic, thank you. I'll try to make weekly updates. Feel free to message me if you have suggestions, comments or questions. I'll be checking my inbox every Saturday.
A sharp intake of air could be heard echoing throughout the remains of the abandoned complex. The voice emitting from the tired man bounced off the brick walls and hollow wood that cradled his body. He slowly started to come to, down from the burning high that plagued him. His blue eyes, like fragmented chandeliers, glossed over his surroundings. Blurry visions of debris and cracked walls haunted his first moments of consciousness. His head fell back, hitting a piece of wood and he barely winced. His body didn't registered the pain even as blood trickled down. He should have been dead right now, he thought to himself as he blinked a few times coping with the fact that he was still on this earth given the ball and chain that creature led him on.
Nick slowly began to rise from the ashes, his clothes caked with dried blood, dust, and god knew what else. He didn't want his conscious to stick around and find out. His legs trembled as he stood upon them once more, a free man. No longer confined to the back seat, he finally got the wheel back. He lowered his head and coughed so hard that for a split second, Nick believed one of his lungs would come crawling through his throat and land onto the dusty hardwood floor. Blood seeped from the cracks of his gums and he started to whimper. Everything began to hit him fast. His shaking body collapsed on itself again from the numbing pain it endured for those long months, and he balled so hard he hoped his cries would end up killing him.
Self induced heart attack, stroke, it didn't matter. He didn't want to be here anymore. He didn't want to recall the terrible things that creature had done while riding him out like a horse into battle. Nick didn't want to remember crimson painted faces as he would break bones, nor the black eyed ones that followed him like kittens to cat nip. He couldn't believe himself knowing that he had let the devil inside him and twist his body so much he could barely recognize his own reflection as he managed to look down at broken shards of glass nearby. His face was covered in scars and burns, he thought himself to look like a monster out of a bad 80s movie. This only made him tear up more, and with each salty streak that went over his skin it stung the open wounds he had. He couldn't take this. He manned up and forced himself to quit crying though he wished death upon himself.
Nick sat there in that desecrated Detroit building for hours, just on his knees as he looked off into the distance. He tried really hard to not think of anything, just his breath. How his body would inhale and exhale vividly, still trying to cope with feeling lighter. Having the devil chained to the soul felt like the weight of the world was churning in his stomach, festering like flies on a carcass. It burnt cold. So cold that the man was surprised his organs were not frozen over after Lucifer left his body for the other man.
The other man, the boy. Nick recalled the shaggy haired one and who appeared to be his brother at his side. Since Nick was in the back seat during the charade Lucifer had put on, he couldn't pick up on what they were conversing. However, the moment he heard the boy say he would finally yield and say yes made Nick want to scream. But for what purpose? He wanted to be free of this burden of carrying the devil, but he didn't wish this personal hell upon anyone else let alone a complete stranger that looked like he had his full life ahead of him. Nick kept himself quiet, not wanting to risk Lucifer pushing him away again however as he could feel more pain surging through his body, he felt his mind screaming yes, yes just say yes take him away just let me go. That was all he remembered before everything went black.
Now he was here. Now he was alone. Now he wasn't sure what to do next.
Nick knew he had a few options to choose from: He could try to track down those boys and help them get rid of their new problem, or he could wallow in self pity and try to find a means to end his life. That was an easy choice. He got up finally and looked around for anything that looked sharp enough to deliver just one blow and cease him. He was surely going to hell anyway for what he had done, why delay it? However as the minutes turned into hours, Nick couldn't find anything that he was hoping for. Shards of glass could easily cut his wrists and he could drain his body dry, but he didn't want anymore pain than he had already paid his dues for. Jumping from one of the rusted broken windows seemed better, but he didn't want to cause a scene. What if the media got in on this? What if everyone in the country knew of the atrocities he had committed while under Lucifer's control?
The thought of others from Pike Creek such as neighbors seeing what he had done scared him to no end. They already thought so little when Sarah was dead along with his baby. His guess was that he looked creepy enough as it was, just the way his face was constructed would sometimes give the allusion that he might have been on edge during times he was angry or sad. He was also well known during his youth to have depressive problems, which had since he became an adult been handled with but most didn't know that. Most even assumed he was the one who had committed the crime though the perp was someone else and on the run to this day. Nick threw a piece of glass down which cascaded onto the floor and shattered. The devil promised many things and made most a reality, but finding the guy who had killed Nick's wife and child, he made the very last thing on the list. Nick's vengeance was for nothing now. He chuckled though as he looked down, still seeing his wedding ring secure on his finger. Leave it to the devil to be sympathetic in that manner.
Nick weighed out his options again. He couldn't help the boys defeat Lucifer, besides the most likely event would be that they themselves would kill him due to his former affiliation. Lucifer would just see Nick as a nuisance and would squish him quickly like a bug if he interfered. Returning to Pike Creek would have its ups and downs. He knew that in his gut. Killing himself seemed like a good idea at the time but it was a now or never deal for the broken man. Nick sighed deeply, whimpering yet again as his nails dug into his head.
He couldn't move forward and he couldn't go back, he was stranded.
"Just a sign..a hint..anything.."
He said his broken words almost as if he was praying. For someone that never did believe in God, finding the whole religion of Christianity itself as another means of controlling weak minded people, Nick found himself nearly begging for some sort of help. Something that would at least help him begin the process of removing his skeletons from the closet. A clattering sound radiated through his ears as he looked behind him, fearing it might be a demon for the moment. His breath hitched and he started panting heavily until he noticed it was merely his wallet. The left corner still mangled from the time he bit into it after he broke some glassware the night Sarah and his baby were gone. That memory made the hair on the back of Nick's neck shudder as he gently picked it back up.
Miraculously most of his belongings were right in place. His ID was gone however but his debit and three credit cards were still in place. From the looks of it they were never moved. As he flipped through some recipes and other useless notes, he came across a familiar face. His course skin on his thumb gently traced over Sarah's face, soon trailing down to his baby girls smile. With a trembling motion, he lifted the picture to his lips and kissed it as if it was the last time he would ever lay his eyes upon something that happy again. For a brief moment he recalled the day it was taken. Just a few hours after Sarah was discharged from the hospital after giving birth to Emily. He remembered Sarah wanted to continue sleeping but he just couldn't wait to dig out the camera and get the first ever picture of his two girls together. She was happy to oblige though, considering throughout most of her pregnancy Nick had some apprehension about being a father. Never feeling like he would be good enough for it. However the moment he laid his eyes on his baby girl, all that fear slipped away. He had never felt more euphoric and in love with something else his whole life. Sarah could see that clear as day in his blue eyes, which was why she mustered up the strength to put on her best for him. She laughed soon after seeing Nick making faces at their newborn, already her chubby cheeks and lips curved into a beautiful smile as she laughed.
Nick's mind jogged back to reality as he took the picture from his lips and carefully slid it back into his wallet along with his other cards making sure nothing would come close to destroying his possessions. He closed his eyes, filling his lungs with fear until he exhaled. He knew he had to get out of there and he had to go home. If only to see and touch the things that Sarah once had. He missed that familiarity and he didn't know how long he had been gone without it. There was nothing he himself could do about Lucifer. If the end of the world was going to come, so be it. Nick in the meantime would rather enjoy his final days somewhere he felt home at, even though it would haunt him.
Eventually he found his way out of the building and glanced upon a news paper lying on the street and checked it out. Looking over the date he realized he had been missing for a year. The devil had been dragging him all over the country for a long time. Detroit though in the grand scheme of things wasn't that far from home however as he pocketed out his credit card and charged it to getting a plane ticket at the nearest airport once he drug his decrepit body there through the rain. Nick was apprehensive about how much he would end up paying back. He already quit his old job as a business consultant while he was in mourning. His chances of picking up on a gig were pretty slim even though he had a good job record and was always professional. How the hell was he going to tell any future employers why he was gone for over a year? Especially if he tried getting something in Pike Creek again. He could feel himself already getting stressed out about how he was going to merge back in with society that he tuned it out.
After purchasing his ticket, Nick had about three hours before the next flight to where he needed to go. In the mean time he went throughout Detroit looking for any decent stores and restaurants. He wasn't shocked when he noticed he didn't have a lot of options. Especially since he was smack dab in the down town area. Even though there were other dangers lurking in his environment, he felt quite calm and was thankful that no one really took notice of him let alone his bloody clothes. Maybe it was just another walk in the park for some of the folk around here. He didn't know, but he was happy no one called the cops on him. Then again under the dim lighting of the street lamps and the rain, maybe it was hard to see just how damaged he was.
Nick arrived in a small dollar tree. Got a couple of snacks then went over to a nearby clothing store. He just grabbed whatever, not really caring nor being too picky with the selection. He settled for a couple of dress shirts, jacket for the rain, some green and black tees, two pairs of jeans and new shoes and went ahead and purchased a dufflebag to keep everything in. The older woman who was working night shift didn't say much to Nick when he went up to the cash register to pay, except when she took notice of some of his facial scarring and sores. Her brows furrowed sadly while Nick kept his head down, avoiding eye contact if he could. One part out of his own personal shyness, the other not wanting to stir up anything especially if he was America's most wanted thanks to Lucifer.
"Ain't my business but my bro knocking hard time for drugs. Ya'll got so much suffering in you. Don't know which way it end or which way it go. I'll be praying for you."
The woman caught Nick's eyes a little as he looked up after the fact. His mind almost barely registering her words as he looked dumbfounded. Not sure what to say, he gave a light and forced smile. Nodded, swiped his card and went on his way with the dufflebag and clothes in tow. As much as it kind of pained him to look like he was on drugs it was better than murderer. He took what the woman had said with a grain of salt as he stopped near a rest area and took up refuge in one of the stalls, exchanging his tattered clothing for the new ones. Despite not showering for what seemed like eternity, Nick surprised himself with how clean he felt. It was like one burden had been stripped away from his soul and as he looked down at the bloody material of the shirt, over shirt and pants that were at one point his favorite to wear he discarded it in the nearest disposal. Knowing he could never wear anything like that again without thinking of the devil breathing under it all.
On his way back to the airport, Nick adjusted his new jacket and began to eat at some of the snacks like a ravaged animal. He wanted a huge meal truth be told, but he knew he wouldn't be able to stomach a full course feast. Even now just munching on some of the chips he had nearly made him want to throw up. Nick assumed this was from the demon blood Lucifer had pumped into his body to keep him stable all this time. Even as he walked he felt like he was carrying a lot of water weight and it made him dizzy. He couldn't wait to get this shit out of his system, if there was any possible way to get demon blood out that is. Growing tired of it he ended up doing the inevitable and found a secluded area near an alley where he ate the rest of his chips too fast and forced his body to spew. The smell from all the blood was so pungent he ended up continuing to detox for a whole half hour. His body felt tired, his lungs weak from heaving and Nick collapsed fortunately away from the decaying smell that looked like a cesspool of meat and god only knew what else. He struggled, picked himself up by bracing his palms against the brick wall nearby and started walking off back to the airport. Now wasn't the time to pass out. Not until he was on board heading home.
Nick thanked his lucky stars that there was barely anyone on board the flight he had booked. It took the last bit of energy in his body to stay awake while he went through two large lines, nearly got felt up by a security guard, and finally forcing himself to climb up the steps and into the cockpit. He was seated towards the back which was fine by him. Closer to the bathroom if he needed it and away from the majority of people. He gave out once he was buckled up, his bag up in a cubicle just above his seat near the window. For the first time in a year, Nick fell asleep peacefully. Nothing could penetrate his ears. Not even some of the snide remarks about his wounds from a couple of girls near the mid section of the plane. No matter how hard he cleaned them while he changed in that old bathroom, they were not going to fade anytime soon.
Five hours or so later, Nick was awakened by the pilot after everyone had gotten off the plane once they had landed. He apologize profusely and got out of there before the man could assure Nick that it was alright. Nick's anxiety was up now higher than before. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come back to Delaware. How many people might have seen him on the news? How many people have laid their eyes upon him as Lucifer? The fear trickled up and down his spine like a million bugs as he tried dodging crowds and finding a clear cut way out of the airport.
"God don't let me lose my nerve.."
Once he escaped the confining space, Nick headed to one of the bus stops nearby and paid up taking a couple of rides on some greyhounds until he finally arrived at Pike Creek.
When he got off near one of the small smoke shops, he noticed that nothing really had changed. The downtown tavern was still in place save for one neon light outside that couldn't stop blinking like it was having a seizure. The other small shops and the walmart was still there. Nothing apocalyptic looked like it had touched this place. Nick swung the dufflebag around his shoulders and began the trek back to his house. Normally when he would get home since losing Sarah, he would keep his eyes to the ground. Focusing on the cement to keep him company. Now after his terrifying experiences, he kept both eyes straight ahead, ready for anything that might come at him. Nick knew he wasn't the strongest guy in the world, nor would he even brag to get him out of a pinch but he would be damned if anything snatched away this moment from him.
Surprisingly his trip down memory lane didn't have any problems. There was hardly anyone out this time at night to begin with. Save for maybe the local drunk or two, but Nick steered clear of those areas. He finally came up around the street where his house remained and right at the crossroads he had to pause. For the first time since he got off the bus, Nick's eyes traveled to the ground. His breathing growing weary as he could feel a presence, a strange pull nagging at him. Summoning his courage he exhaled quietly and pressed forward coming across the fence. The creaking gate swung back and fourth gently by the casual breeze that flew by and for a split second Nick jumped, thinking Lucifer was right there wanting to take him again until he came to the realization there was nothing there.
Nick swallowed hard, his eyes darting across the remains of his house. There was literally nothing different at all on the outside. There was still a broken window on the upstairs floor, his doing for being angry at himself. Grass was overgrown in the front lawn and he could only imagine the jungle there was in the back. The paint on some areas looked peeled, flaking off even and it made Nick instinctively touch his face for a mere second as he forced himself to walk up the creaking steps, and come to the door.
"Don't let me lose my nerve.."
He muttered to himself, much like he said at the airport. For some strange reason saying that brought a weird sense of comfort. He reached underneath the now moldy and tattered welcome mat, grabbing the spare keys he was surprised to find and drew in another deep breath. Nick closed his eyes, then slightly opened the lids and pushed the key into the socket of the door knob and turned. The click he heard, that creaking sound just then when he jerked the key out of the hole was one of the most beautiful things he heard. Nick came to the realization just how something considered insignificant meant a lot and how he took coming home for granted at times. That was a mistake he would never make again.
He pushed the door aside, dropping the bag to the floor and closed the now rustic looking door behind him. The interior of his house looked just as it was the night he consented to become an angels vessel. The only real difference was that dust was everywhere, cobwebs and spiders made their homes in any corner they could crawl too, and as Nick went into the kitchen and looked inside the fridge which he quickly shut, there was plenty of rotten food to be thrown away. He rubbed the back of his head out of frustration as he went into the living room and looked around. The man really had his work cut out.
"Baby steps. You got to take baby steps. Clean the house, repaint it, find work."
Nick said quietly, repeating the last bit sort of like a mantra. It was the only thing to get him through walking up the stairs. He looked at the bathroom, biting his lower lip nervously as he could still see some of Sarah's things neatly piled near the mirror. Just some perfumes, her favorite comb and clippers. Mundane items to most people but to Nick he couldn't bare to see any of them moved. They were still neatly in place just how Sarah liked it. Gaining more courage he went down the hall and to the nursery. Expecting to see blood there but surprised that there wasn't. The crib was still pressed up against the wall and there were boxes filled with the baby's things Nick was trying so hard to pack up and move on from. He found his body being pulled to one of the boxes, finding the teddy bear that him and Sarah worked on together for Emily. It still felt so soft and fragile. The smell of lavender still filled its stuffing. Sarah said it would soothe Emily if she ever had a bad night. Nick had a hard time holding the bear to his chest as his eyes closed tight as he tried to hold back tears. His free hand quickly rubbed at his eyes as he sniffled, bringing the bear with him to the final destination.
As soon he cracked the door and headed into his and Sarah's room, Nick froze in place. His cries from earlier ceased and there was a strange calm. A sense of security that washed over him. It made him feel surprised considering this is where Sarah had died with Emily clutched tight in her arms, right in the very corner he was looking at towards the bed. He remembered the decaying smells that lingered in the carpet by the time he got home from his trip to Maine on business. He was gone three days and they were slaughtered the night he left. How could he be so stupid and not answer the phone when Sarah called? How could he be so paranoid about making a good impression at work that he turned off his cell during meetings? How could he believe everything was okay when he kept on leaving message after message letting his girls know he loved them both and never getting any return calls? He assumed Sarah's mother was coming for a visit. That was what his wife had told him before he had gone. He was stupid and pathetic reassuring himself that was the case.
As Nick finally lied down in bed he felt even more worthless. When he came home that night finding cops all over the place with an ambulance, he felt his heart stop. Some of the first responders desperately asked why he hadn't answered his phone. They tried calling him five times. Nick didn't speak at all as he saw the body bag being taken out. His eyes widened, he screamed so loud that all other noises and the annoying calls of the sirens were blurred. He sprinted and shoved people out of the way as he reached for Sarah's hand that fell out from the bag. He didn't care how long she had been gone, he wanted to hold her. He wanted to let her know he was home and that he was so sorry. Before he could even remotely get to Sarah, he was stopped by police officers that held him back, some trying to comfort him as he struggled to get out of their grasp. That wasn't the worst of it.
Nick grabbed them, looked them dead in the eye pleading that his baby was alright only to get nothing. They didn't say a word. Each of them had a somber and saddened expression carved into their older faces as Nick felt the weight of the world shove him down to the ground. He curled up and started crying so hard that some of the officers had to get away. The crime scene was already too much for them all to take in as it was. These were local cops. Something of this brutality was never seen before by most. Nick managed to look back up to his house, seeing the small body bag he assumed Emily was placed in and all he could say was no over and over until his body could no longer talk. He blacked out from grief soon after. The rest as they say, was history.
Nick was curled up on his side of the bed, the teddy bear still pressed to his chest as he cried. There were tears of joy and tears of utter despair. He was happy to be home, away from Lucifer and near the final resting place of his wife and child but he didn't realize just how haunted he still was by their deaths. As he could feel his body begging for sleep while he cried into his pillow, inhaling the dust from a years worth of not cleaning, Nick wondered in the corners of his head if he would ever move on. Maybe he should have ended it all in Detroit when he had the chance.