This is for callywaggy who prompted me at hpcon_envy over on LJ with SS/HG-Hermione's in labor. The standard applies. Not beta'd and not my characters.
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Labor Pains
"Bloody, fucking, blistering hell!" Hermione screamed. "Bugger Orion with a meat-hook." After five hours of hard labor she was madder than a she-Knarl in heat.
"You lying, loathsome plonker! Get. Over. Here."
Severus continued to stare at her wordlessly from across the room; grateful they'd confiscated her wand at check-in.
"Now, you sadistic, Slytherin bastard...," she trailed off as another contraction hit.
He went to her then and comfortingly smoothed her hair; adding a quick kiss to her forehead before scurrying back to his corner as the pain subsided.
And to think, he'd once thought Voldemort the epitome of nastiness...
A/N: Thank you to the Hissing Harpies who provide the inspirational cuss words for this drabble. These wonderful ladies created a brilliant round-robin drabble series for grangersnape100 on LJ and were kind enough to post a master list. Bugger Orion and She-Knarl in heat are their gems. My mind would never be that clever.