"What are you going to tell your parents?" Jon Snow bit off a piece of bacon, asking her across the Denny's booth table.
"I haven't gotten that far." Sansa absentmindedly pushed her eggs around the plate. "What about you? What if they ask you where we were?"
He paused. "I haven't gotten that far."
3:14 the watch read. 3:14 am. Six hours and fourteen minutes later than Jon told Ned and Catelyn Stark him and their daughter would be home for the week. He lived near the university where Sansa went to school, and when Ned called him a few weeks days ago, asking if Jon could pick up Sansa on his way to their house for the first week of summer, he was happy to oblige. But he never thought any of this would happen.
Although Jon couldn't deny he didn't think about parts of it.
It was a Stark tradition of no matter where or how busy they were, the first week of summer the whole family would take a week off and go on vacation to wherever Cat and Ned decided. It was everyone's favorite time of the year, better than Christmas. Jon was always invited ever since he can remember. He looked forward to it every year, probably more than all the kids combined. It was the time of year he really felt like part of a family. As they all got older, he figured the tradition would die down, but Ned and Cat were more adamant about it, especially after Robb's accident.
Sansa decided to stay in school for the summer, moving into a little studio apartment with a roommate. And Jon, he thought about going to school a long time ago, but didn't know how to pay for it or what he'd go for. Ned Stark offered to pay for his schooling, but Jon refused, Ned did enough for him already.
Which made Jon feel even more guilty for what he and Ned Stark's daughter did.
When she called him back in February, asking if he wanted to grab coffee, he didn't think much of it. He never really cared much for coffee but he knew she had lived on it ever since she was twelve, when she decided she was going to be more grown up than the rest of the girls in her class. Two sugars. One cream. It was embarrassing how much he knew about Sansa. He hadn't done anything like 'grab coffee' since Robb died. When he lost his best friend, his brother, everything in his life changed. Ygritte couldn't deal with his silence after Robb's death, and eventually she broke up with Jon. She wasn't the only one to leave him, hanging out with his friends felt weird without Robb's presence. Eventually he lost touch with them; most of them moving away and getting on with their lives. The only time he went out was to go to work at the garage or the occasional drive he'd take alone. Once upon a time he had dreams and aspirations, but at the age of twelve, he lost his mother and the Starks took him in. He felt almost apart of the family, even Bran and Rickon would call him brother sometimes. It took him years to recover from his mother's death, and when he finally did, Robb died. Jon stopped dreaming and decided it probably was for the best.
When he got to the coffeehouse she was already there, sipping a drink and staring absently out the window. Sansa looked different to what he was used to, not in a bad way, just not in her usual-Sansa way. Her hair was slightly tousled, a little unwashed maybe, she had a crew neck sweater with her university's name on it. Never had Jon thought he'd see her in anything less than some designer brand. When she saw him, she smiled, jumped out of her seat, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"It's so great to see a kind face." Sansa quietly said when she let go of him.
He thought by asking him to coffee she was just bored, but as she talked, he learned how lonely she was.
"When I broke up with Joffrey, I lost everyone. Nobody wants to be my friend anymore. Nobody will even talk to me. Well there's Jeyne, but she's got a boyfriend and busy with school and clubs. I don't see her too much. And I have a roommate, but we aren't too close. But everyone else has just, forgotten me, I'm not sure if it's because of me or of him..." she paused for a long minute, Jon thought about saying something but he could tell she wanted to say something so he stayed quiet.
"Do you think we could be friends?"
"Aren't we?" Jon asked. Of course they weren't 'friends' - they saw each other a few times a year, barely speaking to each other when they did. It wasn't because they didn't get along; they just never had anything to say.
"Real friends, Jon. Who hang out and watch movies and complain to each other about our problems and hook each other up with friends. Y'know, friend stuff."
There was no way he could deny her; just the past half hour spending with Sansa, he was feeling less like a hermit. Besides he desperately needed a friend. Being alone for so long, sometimes his thoughts got so dark it took days to get out of his own mind. Someone like Sansa, someone bright and positive and kind, could be good for his health. Initially he expected to maybe see her once a week, but she always made impromptu plans. Dinner plans, ice skating, movie marathons, you name it and she loved it, and he loved doing it with her. Sometimes they'd go out to bars with her shiny fake ID in hand. At first Jon thought it'd be a bad idea, thinking he had some kind of responsibility to Ned Stark. But after watching her drink and dance to every song on the jukebox, Sansa begging for him to join her, he gave in.
Jon and Sansa hung out so often, eventually he found himself driving straight to her apartment everyday after work to pick her up; ready for whatever she'd throw at him.
A week before their drive back to Winterfell, Jon picked Sansa up, as usual. She had a couple of movies in her hands and told him she needed to relax. Exams and final projects were killing her and she wanted to numb her mind. Jon didn't care what they did, as long as he was with her.
They fought for all of two seconds over which movie they wanted to watch, until they settled on whatever she wanted. Twenty minutes in and she was asleep, her head resting on his shoulder and her hand intertwined with his. Sometimes Sansa would hold his hand, but she'd let go before Jon could think about what it meant.
But this time, she wasn't pulling away, she was holding on, resting on him. His mind was racing. In her sleep she moved more into him, bury her face into the nape of his neck, causing shivers to run up and down his spine. Her lips so close to his neck, it was torture. He could smell her lavender soap and strawberry shampoo, it was sweet and subtle. For a moment, Jon imagined what it would be like if he fell asleep next to her. God, it was as if he was 13 and he'd never touched a girl before, but Sansa did that to him, he never knew how to react to her.
After a few minutes of contemplating staying there the rest of the night, he carefully got up, and put a blanket over her. Jon couldn't hold her like that without thoughts he wouldn't let himself think invade his mind. Although it seemed like he couldn't stop them. Thoughts of how her lips would feel on his, or how soft and warm she was. Or how her laugh was contagious, and when he made her laugh he felt like he was doing something right. Or the time she said he was her best friend. And everything about Sansa Stark was driving him crazy. How he wanted to make her so happy but he didn't know how. He really didn't know how. Jon wanted to kiss every inch of her body and make her come harder than ever before. But what Jon really needed was a cold shower and a reality check.
He walked into the kitchen, grabbed a glass and turned the sink on, waiting for the water to get cool.
I need to get a grip, Jon thought to himself. But all he could think about was Sansa and how much he wanted her. He thought of the time she confided in him that she was going to tell her parents that she decided to change her major from pre-law to dance, and he was the only person who knew. Later that day she asked if he'd watcher her perform to see if she'd be good enough to get in. Of course he knew nothing about that kind of stuff, but he agreed anyway. As he watched her, Jon couldn't stop thinking how beautiful she was, and talented, she was so talented, he had no idea. It wasn't just in her body or the ways she could contort herself, it was the energy. Jon felt it. He almost fucking cried after watching Sansa, she was so incredible, and he let her know it too.
The memory made him almost break the glass in his hand. He really really needed to get a grip.
"Hey."
Jon turned around so fast it made him dizzy. He almost forgot that she was here in his house, and now she was awake.
"Hey."
"How long was I asleep?" she rubbed her eyes and opened his fridge. Sansa was so casual about it all, while he felt like he was going to break into a million pieces. This was not healthy.
"Erm, not long, twenty.. maybe thirty minutes." he turned away, drinking his water. Breathe, Jon, goddamn she's just a girl, you used to be with girls all the time, she's not anything different. But she was to him, and he knew it.
"You're acting weird."
"Am I?" he opened the pantry, trying to distract himself, but he only had a few cans of soup and a jar of peanut butter. "Do you wanna go get some dinner?"
"Yeah, it's a date." Sansa left the kitchen to grab her purse; she was really trying to kill him.
They went to some Italian place that neither of them had been to, and it really did turn into a date. It was candle lit with soft romantic music. Over pasta, she talked about the intense schedule she'd have next semester.
"We won't be able to hang out as much, my schedule will be so crazy with conditioning and practice and classes and performances, plus I'm hoping to teach a class in a studio for extra money. But promise me we'll make little date nights and stuff to make sure we see each other." she paused to take a drink of her soda.
"I promise." he knew she didn't literally need a promise, but Jon wanted her to know that their friendship was very important to him.
"Good." she smiled and reached for his hand across the table. There was something in the way she was looking at him, that for a moment he could see that she felt something towards him too. But before he could admit his desire to kiss her, there was a flash of fear across her face.
"Oh my god." she whispered. Jon felt himself panic. What happened? Could she tell that he had a huge disgusting crush on her and she was repulsed by him? Was something wrong with him? Jon's mind raced a million miles an hour.
"What? What is it?"
"Joffrey." she was looking down, trying to avoid being seen. Jon looked over his shoulder and saw the little twat looking around with an annoying grin on his face. Jon had met Joffrey years ago at some family barbecue or something, and even back then Jon didn't like him. He always looked like he had a secret or just saw someone make a mistake and he was happy about it. Just when Jon was about to turn around Joffrey made eye contact with him.
"Shit." Jon turned back around and saw Sansa making herself shrink into the booth. He could hear Joffrey walk over and Jon cursed himself for looking at the punk. This wouldn't be easy on Sansa. She hadn't exactly said what Joffrey did to her but he knew it was bad enough to make her afraid.
"Sansa Stark." Joffrey announced loudly and with slow, careful enunciation. You could hear the grin through his voice. It was disgusting.
"Joffrey."
"Am I interrupting something? A little date perhaps?" Joffrey put his hands on the table, leaning down to look at them closer. Mocking.
"Yes, Joffrey, do you mind?" Sansa tried to sit up all the way, to make her presence seen. But before she got up all the way, Joffrey got closer to her face.
"Of course I mind," He started to laugh. "you're my girlfriend."
"No I'm not." Sansa's voice got softer, the fear was there and Jon knew Joffrey was eating it up and Jon's hands started shaking with anger. He couldn't just sit there, but what could he do? He could beat the shit out of him. Jon wondered if that would make Sansa happy or not. Probably not, but it'd feel pretty good regardless.
"Remember what you did, Sansa?" Joffrey smiled at the both of them and walked away.
What the hell? Jon thought. What did she do that made Joffrey think that Sansa would go back to him? He started to get up. Ready to beat the pulp out of the little shit head.
"No. Jon. Please don't." she put her hand on his, stopping him. But it was Sansa who got up. Jon's eyes followed her, she was looking down and let her hair cover most of her face, trying to stay hidden, and went into the bathroom.
When she came she asked if he could take her back. Jon said sure and tried to pay for the ticket but Sansa stopped him again.
"Let me take care of it please. You already do enough. Plus I'm the one that ruined the evening." he started to tell her that it wasn't her fault and that he would do anything to make her happy but the words didn't come out right and ended up saying, "okay."
When they got into the car it was hitting twilight and the music playing on the radio was some kind of loud pop music, so Jon turned it down. He wanted to let Sansa talk if she needed to. Everything in him wanted to kiss her and make her feel better. But he didn't want their first kiss to be when she's sad and vulnerable. So instead he started to drive and talked about where he wondered Cat and Ned would choose to go on vacation. They were leaving in a few days, right after Sansa's last final. Jon and Sansa had been talking about often lately, so it was easy for him to ramble on, but he could tell Sansa wasn't paying attention much. After a few minutes of talking, he let the silence cling onto them, absorbing them.
"You know we were engaged for awhile." She said while looking out the window. Quiet enough that he almost didn't catch it.
That shocked Jon. For so many reasons. She was barely 20, Joffrey was a jerk, and if they were engaged it'd be in every newspaper in the U.S. They must have kept it a secret. As much as the Starks like to keep a low profile, they are one of the most influential and powerful families in the country. Both Cat and Ned are congresspeople, with Ned being one of the more popular nominations for the democratic party for the 2016 presidential elections. And Joffrey's family were all rich republicans, hiss father running for governor of New York soon or something of the sorts. Jon had never been one for politics, but while Joffrey and Sansa were dating, there was much buzz in the media. Often they were compared to Romeo and Juliet, although Jon could never understand why, or if anybody in the media had actually read Romeo and Juliet.
"I never wanted it though. It was all Joffrey, he.." she trailed off. There was more. There was so much more than Jon knew but he wouldn't push her, if she wanted to tell him, she'd say something. "I never loved him."
Jon knew she's always been a romantic, growing up around Sansa, he knew her favorite movies were romantic comedies and happily ever afters - it was one of the things he loved about her. Nearly all part of him was a pessimistic cynic, watching your mother die does that to a person, but there was still that part of him that held onto romance, and everyday with her made it grow. He wanted to say something poetic or beautiful to her, because she deserved it, but he was never good at expressing his feelings or saying pretty words.
"Anyway, it's over. He wouldn't.. it was his fault anyway." Sansa stopped talking again, just leaving it there. He wanted to know what it was that Joffrey was threatening. Jon wished he could beat the threat out of him. To let Sansa know she doesn't have to be afraid anymore. They were almost to her apartment, just one more left turn and they'd be there. He didn't want to just drop her off like she didn't mean anything to him, Jon had to let her know that she didn't deserve whatever Joffrey was putting her through. She deserved so much more than he could put into words. Jon did the only thing he could think of, he grabbed her hand, entwining their fingers and kissed the back of her hand.
He looked over at her and she was smiling. It was all he needed. He could live off that smile for the rest of his life.
Jon pulled up to her apartment. It was getting darker, not night but the moon was out, almost a full moon.
"I'm sorry about dinner, I-" she was apologizing and Jon hated that she thought it was her fault.
"Sansa please, I had a great time. I was with you." Jon couldn't be anymore obvious, but he didn't care anymore.
She just looked at him as if he just spilled a big secret, which Jon guessed he did. But it was Sansa who shocked him. With the moon and streetlight shining in her hair and the music gently playing, Jon almost kissed her. He hugged her like he always did when they left each other. But this time was different, he wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled in, burying her face in the nape of his neck like she did earlier when she fell asleep. Unable to restrain himself, Jon kissed her hair, she let out a satisfied sigh and he hoped she never wasted another thought on her useless ex-boyfriend/ex-fiance ever again. When they broke apart, Sansa leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, lingering a moment too long and a little too close to his lips to be considered friendly. She pulled back just a bit to look at him and Jon leaned in to fill in the space between their lips, but before they met, she rushed out the car. Never looking back and running into her apartment.
It wasn't until Jon was in his house that he could fully process everything that happened. They were on a date. Joffrey ruined it. Sansa was vulnerable. She kissed him on the cheek. She regretted it. And rightfully so, Jon thought to himself, a shower is what I need. A shower could cure him. Not even a lobotomy could cure me, was Jon's final thought before he stepped in the shower.
Date. Joffrey. Sansa. Kiss. Cheek. Just the cheek. Sansa kissed me on the cheek that's all. A friendly kiss. Jon kept repeating the words in his head. But it wasn't just a peck on the cheek. He felt it throughout his whole body and he knew she did too. He felt it when she put her hand on his thigh as she leaned in. He felt it when she was holding her hand and kissed it. He felt it every time he looked at her and he knew she felt something too. Sansa wouldn't call it a date if she didn't. She wouldn't have lingered like that if she didn't. She wouldn't have ran away so quickly if she didn't.
But why did she run away? Was he really making it all up in his head? He was starting to think he has been out of the dating game for so long he didn't know how to do anything anymore. He turned of the water and grabbed the nearest towel when he heard a bang.
A knock.
Someone was knocking on his front door.
Who the hell?
Jon quickly wrapped the towel around his waist, and ran to answer it, almost tripping to the door. It had to be around 9 now, almost complete darkness, except for the streetlights and random cars that drove by. Who the hell could be knocking at this door? He didn't have any friends, unless it was..
Sansa. He had opened the door to see it was Sansa Stark. It must have started raining because her hair was a little damp and her cheeks were flushed, she must have ran too. And here Jon was standing there wet in a towel. Her flush turned into a full on blush and she started to stammer incoherently.
"Sansa, come on in. Just, erm, let me put on some, uhm, clothes." This was embarrassing for the both of them. Jon had taken showers while she was over before. They grew up together. Gone swimming together. Why was it now that they were embarrassed. It was like they were watching an R rated movie with their parents.
"No you don't have to-" Sansa stopped herself, her face fully red. "I mean you don't have to trouble yourself, I'll leave." she started to leave. No. Jon couldn't let her leave now. Why did she rush over here in the first place? He had to know? She must have came over right after he dropped her off. It was a bit of a way to walk. It must be important.
"No, Sansa please. I want you to come in." He followed her out the few steps that she walked as she stopped leaving. She turned around to see him standing right there. So close to each other. The look on her face said so much but he couldn't read her. God he wish he could read her mind sometimes.
"Okay. But uhm, put on some clothes." That made the both of them laugh. It felt good to laugh.
"So.." he made some coffee. Two sugars. One cream. He handed her her cup and started sipping his.
It took her a minute to reply. "I just. I don't know. I wish I hadn't seen him today."
Jon sat next to her, oh, that. He almost forgot about that. He had been so wrapped up in the kiss, the kiss on his stupid cheek he almost forgot about the actual important thing that happened to her. Jon shook his head, taking Sansa's hand in his. "I wish I could express to you how much you don't deserve that."
She broke into a smile as a tear fell from her eye. "I know I'm better than him. Really, anybody is better than him, it's just bringing back bad memories." A shadow dashed across her eyes, it made Jon feel cold, "I used to be so terrified of him."
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I can kick his ass in a heartbeat, just say the word." that made her laugh and it was music to his ears.
"Jon can I confess something to you?" Jon felt his entire heart fall out of his chest.
"Of course." he ran a hand through his hair and adjusted himself on the couch. His mind raced a million miles an hour.
"I didn't come over to talk about Joffrey." She was looking down at her hands, Jon waited for her to say more but the silence was driving him mad.
"Why did you come over, Sansa?" she moved to face him but still not daring to meet his eyes.
"I love the way I can feel you looking at me when you think I don't notice," she pushed a strain of her hair behind her ear and finally got the courage to look at him. Jon could feel the dumb look he had on his face but all he could think about was the uncertainty in her eyes.
"Sansa I-" but before every thought he'd ever had about her came spilling out she interrupted him and stood up to leave.
"I know it's just a dumb useless crush and I'm just a little kid to you I should lea-" but it was Jon who interrupted her this time. He grabbed her face and kissed her like he never kissed anybody before. There wasn't time or anyone else it was just Jon and Sansa in that moment, the moment that changed everything. Kissing Sansa Stark was something Jon thought about more often than he'd ever admit. His fantasies were a joke compared to the real thing. At first, he could tell she was nervous. Not a heartbeat in between and her mouth responded, needing more. It wasn't just electricity that he felt, it was energy and passion. Jon was emitting it and he could feel it radiating off of her, through and into his mouth. Needless to say, Jon had never kissed anybody like this before.
It was Sansa who broke the embrace, but instead of backing away completely, she stopped face to face to Jon. Just like she did earlier in the car. Breathing became difficult. It happened. They could never go back to just innocent friends ever again. She pushed away one of his curls and it made her smile. Sansa smiling was like watching an artist reveal a new piece of work, breathtaking but difficult to read. She leaned into him, their noses almost touching, Jon couldn't stand the distance and met her the rest of the way.
Never had she pretended to be a chaste nun, but Jon had no clue what she was comfortable with; the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable. Sansa put her arms around his neck and pressed her body onto his. His hands were everywhere. He wanted to learn her body and please her in every way possible.
Kissing her wasn't enough.
Jon trailed kisses along her neck and collarbone. Her skin tasted like sunshine, which he never understood how someone could taste like sunshine until he tasted Sansa. She felt like the universe. He was amazed by her constantly and eager to explore her. Each time he touched her he felt a new discovery while yearning to uncover more.
A slight moan escaped from her throat, he felt the vibrations while his lips were on the base of her neck. Jon couldn't take it anymore, he needed more, she needed more, they needed each other. His hands ventured under her shirt and she took it off without hesitation.
"Jon... bedroom..."
With her legs wrapped around his waist, he picked her up, making sure not to break the kisses. Before entering his room, they bumped into the wall, laughing and muttering apologizes to each other in between kisses. Walking in, his room was dark and cool, with only the light from the moon shining in.
Somehow they made it on his bed, her hands were tugging on his shirt, Jon ripped it off in one swift motion. Sansa wasted no time at undoing his pants but he had to stop her. Her wanted her so badly, so embarrassingly badly, but something didn't feel right. Maybe it was that she was just crying a few minutes ago, or maybe the fact that they grew up together and he considered her siblings his siblings, and the image of Ned Stark slaughtering him if he ever found out about this was stuck in his brain. Or maybe it was that he wanted to hold onto the moment and not fuck her right away. Jon's been with quite a few girls and a handful of one night stands but that's not what he wanted with Sansa.
"Sansa... stop." she looked up at him, confusion written all over her face. "We shouldn't."
"Do you not want me?" there was a little desperation in her voice. Jon wasn't used to seeing Sansa in an insecure away, she was always so sure of herself.
"More than you know. But I just..ugh. I'm going to hate myself for this. But I think we should wait, just a little bit, to make sure you want this." the biggest mistake Sansa could make is hooking up with Jon. She had so much drive and passion for life and up until they started hanging out, Jon felt like he was barely alive. What if she regretted it. What if she wanted more of a relationship. Jon wasn't sure how to be in a relationship anymore than he was sure how to speak Latin. Jon would be the worst boyfriend, he had proven that many times. God he was the worst thing to happen Sansa. He should have let her leave when she wanted to. But he couldn't stop kissing her, especially when she made the little noises she made. And he could be her boyfriend. He would try for her.
"I want this, believe me I want this." she put her hand on his cheek, the warmth from her body was sweet and comforting, he leaned into her touch and kissed the palm of her hand. Jon was starting to think he was crazy for not sleeping with her. "But I think you're right."
Looking back, Jon thought that was such a stupid mistake they made, because if they had released the sexual tension then, they wouldn't have ended up where they are now.
"We can tell them we got kidnapped and were sold for drugs and Captain America rescued us, but before we could come home Capt. treated us to Denny's." Sansa joked.
"That'd be easier than the truth."
"There is no way we can tell them the truth. Absolutely not." horrified, Sansa took a sip of her coffee. Two sugars. One cream.
"I'm glad we did it though." Jon admitted. He would remember this day forever.
"I'm glad the motel is on your card and not mine. If they looked at my bank history, how could I explain that we rented a motel for four hours without telling them the truth?" she took another sip and looked up from her coffee. Giving him a look that got them in the motel the first time. "I'm glad we did too."
"Would you two like the check now?" the waitress asked as she approached the table.
"Actually can we get another grand slam?" she looked to Jon, "Wanna split it?"
Jon started thinking maybe extending their arrival a few more hours wouldn't be too bad, they were late enough already and the way Sansa was looking at him made Jon want more. Another motel charge on his card would be worth it. Especially if they had to pretend they were casual friends over the next week. God. Not touching Sansa for a whole week would actually kill him. If he spends the entire time with Bran and Rickon maybe he could be cool, but Arya would know right away. He thought about how she'd laugh and call them gross. How Catelyn would see it all over Sansa's face. Sansa and her mother had always been close. And Ned finding out that him and Sansa were a 'thing' now. Jon wasn't sure what kind of 'thing' they were but it'd be better than saying they had sex multiple times in a dirty motel room. Oh God they would not survive the week at all. Another few hours in a motel and a grand slam was definitely what they needed.
"Sure."