Summary: Bella shows the Cullen's her way of anger management- creating stories out of random words! How will they react to this? Book pairings. Bella's not a vampire. No real set time. Humour, I hope. Rated T to be safe.

AN- Hello! So, this idea came to me when my friend and I did this. We came up with some crazy stories, all centering on all who we disliked, and a few about us.  I hope that you all will enjoy this. Reviews are appreciated. This is my second story, though I don't encourage you to read the other because the first few chapters are horrible. Let me know if I should continue this story. This chapter is mostly introduces the concept, and how the Cullen's became aware of anger management- Bella style.

-Jay

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own the Twilight series, and its characters. Stephenie Meyers does.

Chapter One: Anger Management

I was enjoying Forks. I had an immensely handsome, caring, loving, awesome (the lists goes on and on) boyfriend, I had a protective family, and I had actually gotten around to liking all the green here. I still wouldn't mind temperatures above 60 degrees Fahrenheit every now and again.

Currently, I was watching Emmett and Jasper battle it out on some video game that I had no intention of wanting to know about. All I knew was that it was filled with blood, gore, and more blood. I didn't know who was winning, but it seemed like Emmett was.

Edward had gone to hunt with Carlisle; I supposed Edward wanted to speak to Carlisle- after hunting of course. Rosalie was working on her car. Alice was, well I don't know what she was doing. She was probably thinking of different activities for us to do over the weekend. Every once and a while she would think of these family 'bonding' times. She usually thought of them when Edward wasn't around so she wouldn't have to concentrate on blocking her mind. They usually involved some game where I ended up hurt, a movie with loads of food for me, and then Truth or Dare. Everyone dreaded these nights, but no one dared to cross Alice. Esme was out shopping for groceries- for their cover and my benefit- and gardening supplies.

So, I was stuck with nothing to do except subject myself to watch these two. I would never tell anyone, but I did get a kick out of watching them, and sometimes Edward, play these games. They really engrossed themselves in the game. All of them were poor losers and poor winners. When a game ended it usually started a fight between the loser(s) and the winner. It never ended well.

SNAP

I was brought out of my thoughts by a loud snapping noise. I looked over to Jasper and Emmett. They were both in shock. I glanced to see what mesmerized them

"Oh. My. God. Guys. Esme is going to freak out on whoever did this. Which brings me to ask who did do it…?"

"Emmett got mad that I beat him, and his slammed his hands holding the controller still onto the coffee table." Jasper snitched.

"What am I going to do?" By now Emmett had come out of shock. He was practically hyperventilating. Jasper sent out a wave of calm.

"Emmett that table was an antique! How will you replace that? And how will you hide it when Esme is due home any minute?"

"I-I don't know. Help me think of something Bella!"

"Why does Bella need you to think of something, Emmett?" Esme asked.

I'm surprised Jasper or Emmett didn't notice her presence. I even noticed her before they did- and they call themselves vampires.

"Well?"

Emmett still didn't respond- idiot! He should at least start begging for forgiveness. By this time Rose and Alice had come in to see what trouble he had caused. I'm sure Alice already knew by her smirk. Finally, Emmett just ran to who knows where- hopefully someplace far away for his sake.

When he ran, Esme was looking at what used to be a coffee table, but was now a pile of rubbish with bits of plastic from the controller. Esme looked murderous. Jasper tried to calm him, but nothing worked.

"He. Is. Dead." Normally sweet and kind Esme spoke lividly using the commonly used human expression. I could see why, that table was from the 1860s! I would have killed Emmett, well destroyed him. Where was Carlisle when you needed him?

"Esme, why don't you sit down?" Alice suggested.

Esme still stood rooted to place. It took Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and his power for Esme to sit down. Alice looked at me, saying with her eyes for me to say something. She obviously didn't see the outcome otherwise she would have stopped him. Duh, she wouldn't have known because she didn't know how Esme would decide on how to react.

"Esme?"

"Yes, Bella?" Her voice was back to normal, though her eyes said she was otherwise not.

"Do you want to hear how I vent most-if not all- my anger?" I asked the first thing that popped in my head.

"Of course, I would like to hear about your type of anger management." She always wanted to know more about her children, so I knew she would say yes. I didn't need to be Alice to figure that out.

"Well, I have someone give me random words and make stories that make me feel better." I mumbled even though she would hear it perfectly. Stupid vampire enhanced senses.

"You what?" Jasper said. He looked perplexed that anyone would use this type of A.M. (anger management) "How does that help? Wouldn't you rather hit someone?"

"I make up stories that are completely ridiculous. It helps me laugh. Then whenever I that someone tries something again, I can just think of that story and laugh in their face. And did you forget who I am? Ms. Clumsy ring a bell?"

It clicked with him then. I wouldn't stand a chance in a fight; I'd most likely trip walking to punch the person.

"Keep going." Alice whispered loud enough that only I would hear-surprisingly so. She apparently saw that if I continued with this path that Esme would calm down a bit. Well, that's my discernment.

"Esme, why don't we make up a story about Emmett? You can have whatever you want happen to him then, he could even die." She seemed to brighten at that idea. Everyone present tried to stifle their laughs at her face.

"Ok! I'm in. So, you said that someone had to think of words for us?"

"Yeah. Alice, Rosalie? Would you each think of four words?"

"Cookies. Loopy. Bagpipes. Roof." Alice said without even thinking.

"Flying. Sweltering. Concussion. Childhood." Rosalie smirked. She really wanted to hear what we came up with about her husband.

"Bella, I want you to make up the story. I mean you have had experience making them up. I only ask one thing- he either receives extreme pain and/or dies." Esme requested with a malicious smile.

Taken aback by her expression, I merely mumbled a rushed ok. I mean I could see why she might want me to think of something up, but she was supposed to think of it. Oh well. Maybe I will think up a story, and then she can think of her own. This will be good. I can already tell.

"Can you give me a few minutes?" I asked politely. I had thought of the plot line, but I needed to adjust it. Alice started laughing and gave me two thumbs up my way. It will be good…

*****

So, I had finished not fifteen minutes later. It ensured humiliation, chaos, and both of Esme's requests. Though none of it could happen. It's purely fictitious. I must tell them that before I begin. Alice and Rosalie picked tough words for their first time assisting in a story.

"Okay, you can all come back now." I spoke as if they were standing not three feet away. They were all there in a matter of a couple seconds. Alice was bouncing up and down she was so excited. I think that she refuse to watch the whole story play out beforehand. Only seeing what the plot was. Jasper was grinning like a fool because of Alice's emotions. Esme still had that grin on her face from before. Edward and Carlisle hadn't returned from hunting yet. Emmett, God knows where Emmett is.

"So, before I begin this tale, you must take into fact that this is purely fictional. Nothing like this can ever happen without Emmett not being a vampire. Does everyone understand?" They all nodded, clearly excited. I am always surprised that they find amusement in the simplest of things. Then again they have all of eternity.

"As most stories of this kind I must begin with the obvious opener. Once upon a time…"

"What's this?" Edward appeared looking bemused.

"Edward!" I ran to him- well fast walked; I did not want to trip- to him. "I missed you so much!"

"Bella! I missed you too!" He said before kissing me. "What has been going on here?" He broke away.

Not wanting the kiss to have ended, I pouted a little before starting to explain to both him and Carlisle who was standing next to Esme.

"Well, in short Emmett broke Esme's 1860 circa coffee table after losing to Jasper in a video game. Esme became really pissed; Emmett ran away and has not been seen since, and now I was about to tell a story about Emmett's demise." I had started out strong, but faded at the end. I still knew they heard every bit.

"Story?" Carlisle and Edward asked in unison.

"I'll let Alice explain." With that said I walked to the kitchen to get some water. I couldn't be there while she explained everything. I was too embarrassed. I heard Alice tell them about my A.M. plan and of how I came to think of a story of Emmett. By the time I returned, the boys were grinning in anticipation.

"I'm sorry that we cut you off by us returning. Please continue, love"

"As I've said before, as most stories of this kind I must begin with the obvious opener. Once upon a time…"

*****

AN2: Yes, I've left a cliff hanger.  Please R+R, and tell me what you think, and if I should continue. I do appreciate criticism.

-Jay