Insane. They told me I was insane, locked me away where no-one could see me. It had been 13 years since I'd seen anyone except hospital orderlies, the thing was, I didn't understand, I was 7 years old when they locked me away. I remember being dragged, kicking and crying to a dark place, that reeked. Mom told me that I was being taken to a place where I couldn't hurt people, cause them harm. They shut me away, letting anger fester in my soul, letting the voices fill my mind. The let me break the mirror, drag the shards across my arms, they let me be controlled by the demons in my mind. The let me break and crumble, l became a shell of myself. I just kept disintegrating. Then they gave me medication and things changed, I changed and became more controllable.

It was Monday and I was turning twenty, so the orderlies would come and put some clothing outside my 'room'; which was really a small cell, with a single poster on the back of it's locked door. It was this sickening yellow colour, that made my eyes hurt if I looked for too long. I was expecting the only kind orderly, Ms. Pillsbury , to give me the worn hoodie and jeans I got on each new birthday. I had learned to get out of my old clothes and wait for the orderlies to hand me my new ones. Everyone else got T-shirts, but because of the scars on my arms, I had to wear long sleeves, because they were unsightly and made the institution look bad.

I was sat cross-legged in my room, wearing my thin pyjamas, a pair of shorts and a tank top. I was waiting for Ms. Pillsbury, who was due in about five minutes. I laid back on my bed, when I heard the door open. I immediately looked up and my jaw went slack, my mouth opening at the sight in front of me. It was Ms. Pillsbury and another girl. She was the most interesting looking human I've ever seen. She wore torn black jeans, a band T-shirt and a flannel jacket over the top. She topped her head with a black beanie, her face was hidden, except from the glint of a nose ring. Her long legs tapered off to a pair of black boots, loosely laced.

Ms. Pillsbury shook me from my reverie, her soft voice filling the room "San, this is Lucy, she recently turned 19 and has Post-traumatic depression, she was just checked in and will be bunking with you." I nodded. "Lucy, this is Santana, she has schizophrenia and doesn't talk too much."

Lucy looked down at her shoes and nodded. "Fine. Whatever." I swallowed. Her accent was the hottest thing I'd ever heard, soft, with a southern twang. Lucy walked over to her bed, threw her backpack on it, and unzipped her boots. Ms. Pillsbury excused herself, handing me my clothes. I glanced nervously at Lucy, who was twiddling a cigarette box.

I raised an eyebrow "How did you get those in here?" Lucy just smirked back at me, winking. I stood up and noticed that the clothes Ms. had given me didn't cover my arms. I looked at the bed for a jacket when I felt a soft hand on my back, vanilla filling my nose.

"Nice arms, sweetie" I looked round and saw Lucy, who was taking off her own jacket. She handed it to me, winking again. Her face crinkled at the eyes when she did that, the hazel globes glinting. I noted that her arms were laced with angry red lines.

She walked away, singing softly under breath. "So, Santana, how long you been here?" I counted in my head. "13 years, turning twenty today." I sighed at the number, while Lucy inhaled sharply. I swallowed "What about you?" As well as wanting to get the heat off myself, I was genuinely curious.

Lucy looked down at the marks on her arms, ran a bitten black nail over one angry red line and looked up at me, eyes cold. "Why the hell is that your business?" I nodded. "Sorry, I was just curious."

She raised an eyebrow and pulled off her beanie. Her hair was pink, and pixie cut. I muttered gently under my breath "You are so hot." Lucy raised an eyebrow, and smiled "Call me Quinn, I'm Lucy Q. Fabray." I smiled, then looked around the room. Quinn saw my worry and came over to me "What's wrong?" I gulped. "I don't have anywhere to get changed."

Quinn smirked mischievously and leaned back on her bed, hands behind her head. "I'll turn 'round, maybe." I spluttered and began undressing myself, pants first. I slid them down my tan legs, revealing the white lines of scars. I heard her voice again "Self-harm?" I nodded, then dropped my pants. I slid my underwear up my legs, thankful that my tank top hid most of me. I shed my shirt quickly, pulling on my bra and T-shirt. I pulled up the jeans and breathed a sigh of relief. I reached behind me and reluctantly pulled on Quinn's jacket. I settled on my bed, humming quietly.

A thought struck me "You seen Dr. Schuester yet?" She shook her head and I laughed "Have fun with him, he's a fucking pushover!" I began to list all the people who lived here, and why they live in the institution.

That day I gave Lucy a tour and we walked slowly round the grounds. I introduced her to Tina and her girlfriend Rachel, Brittany and her brother Matt. The others were outside. We stopped outside a room with two females holding hands on the door. Quinn furrowed her brow and I giggled "It's the padded cell, which Brittany dubbed the ladies room," She smiled, her lip turning up at the edge. "Then it turned into the room where us Lady lovers go to gets our mack on."

Quinn put one arm on the wall, the other on my hip. She bent down and breathed on my neck. "Lady lover, eh?" I felt my breath catch in my throat as I nodded. She giggled and slid her knee inbetween my thighs. "Wonderful." I let my head fall back against the wall, groaning as she moved away and grabbed my hand. "Come on, we have 15 minutes before I have to go for my jabs." I looked up and raised my eyebrow. She looked at her boots. "I have jabs daily, so I don't get as depressed. " I nodded and smiled at her, we ran over to the courtyard.

As we set foot on the ground I tripped, landing on my knees. The fact that I was still holding Quinn's hand meant that a she fell too, landing on top of me. I groaned in pain and Quinn rolled off of me, giggling. She laid back on the stones, sighing "Something wrong?"

I turned to face her as she replied "Yeah, I guess there is," I took her hand gently and waited "They brought me here a year ago and I never felt anything but alone, this afternoon, you made me feel like I had someone who wanted me around," I smiled "Thank you for being that person." I nodded and grinned."Anytime, pinkie."

We arrived at the medical offices fifteen minutes later, slightly late but both happy. I watched Quinn enter the room, turning to leave. "San, wait for me?" I nodded, not wanting to talk. I walked closer to her, talking quietly. "I have to go for my counselling but I'll be back when you finish."

She nodded, running her hands through her messy pink hair and pulling her hat back on. "Have fun with, Corcoran, wasn't it?" I smiled and walked away, smiling. I reached the door of Corcoran's room, knocking on the door lightly. "Enter."

I left the room ten minutes later, rubbing my forehead. I hated counselling, Shelby Corcoran was nice enough but forcing me to talk for ten minutes was pointless. I was often despondent and remained silent. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. I had ten minutes before Quinn came out of the medical room, so I walked to the gym room where this dude Joe kept his bibles and where I used to do gymnastics and dodgeball. I plugged my headphones into my phone and smiled. I stood in the middle of the room and sighed. I hit play and opened my mouth, belting out the first few notes of my favourite song.

oh-oh-oh

There's a place,

That I know,

it isn't pretty there,

and few have ever gone,

And if I show it to you now

Will it make you run away?!

Or will you stay?

Even if it hurts,

Even if I try to push you out,

Will you return?

And remind me who I really am,

Please remind me who I really am!

Everybody's got a dark side,

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect,

But we're worth it, you know that we're worth it.

Will you love me? Even with my dark side?!

Don't run away, don't run away.

Just promise me you will stay,

Promise me you will stay?

Will you love me? With my dark side?

Oo-oh-woah!

Everybody's got a dark side,

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect,

But we're worth it, you know that we're worth it.

Will you love me? Even with my dark side?!

Don't run away, don't run away.

I smiled as I finished the song. Music was my one of my only escapes and I valued it so much. I looked at my phone again and saw it was time to go meet Quinn from her jabs. I walked into the lobby near the medical room and walked right into Finn Hudson, a tall boy who had real bad OCD and walked round clutching a bottle of hand sanitiser. He smiled at me and I nodded back in response "Where you off to Finn?" He grinned, continually tapping his foot and counting his blinks.

"I'm leaving here Santana, they're taking me to this other place where I can get properly better." He opened his arms and my jaw dropped. Never once had this boy opened his arms for a hug. I reached into my pocket and rubbed some hand sanitiser on my hands. I stepped into his embrace, smiling. "Good luck man, you'll do great!"

Once Finn had set off I sat down, crossing my legs and listening to music as I waited. I shut my eyes as the minutes ticked by, when I was startled by a tap on the shoulder. I looked up, into the face of our medic Dr, Carl Howell. You know, the decent thing about 'William McKinley Correctional hospital for young people with Mental issues' is that it has some OK Doctors. Dr. Howell smiled at me and began speaking "Santana, Miss Fabray is requesting you come and help her back to the room you share, is that ok?" I smiled back in return and mumbled "Yeah, where is she?"

He began walking into a small room, beckoning for me to follow. We rounded a corner and came across Quinn, who was in a state of hysterical laughter. I knelt down net to her and whispered in her ear "Let's go, I'm exhausted." She nodded and carried on laughing. I couldn't help but laugh at her as I lifted her off the bed. She was a baby weight and I carried her back you our room, depositing her on the bed. She had somewhat regained sense and said "Thank you, for today." I smiled and nodded again. That was all I seemed to do, nod. I pulled off her boots and pulled the cover over her. Today had been a good day, and for that I was thankful.

I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating. I rubbed my eyes and blinked as my eyes adjusted to the dark. I sat up and smelt the all too familiar metallic smell of blood. I leapt out of bed and snapped up. Quinn was sat in the corner of the room, clutching a bloody razor blade, tears rolling freely down her face. I knelt down in front of her, shaking. "What happened?"

She shook her head but let go of the blade. I picked it up, her blood on my fingers, and put it on the desk against the wall. I reached under my bed and brought out a small first aid kit, which was filled with anti-septic ointment, suturing thread, butterfly strips, plasters, bandage and a needle. The staff here had supplied me with it for emergencies. I knelt back down and softly said "What did you cut?" She held up both wrists, the right only with on thin slice on it, and the left with a wide gash on it, obviously with many cuts on it. I rubbed some of the ointment on the right one, then put two butterfly strips on it. I wiped round the other cut with an anti-septic wipe then stitched it carefully, expertly pulling on the thread and tying it off. I put a plaster over it and examined my handiwork. I sat beside her and waited for anything to happen. After a moment of silence, Quinn wrapped her arms round me and sobbed. Some much for a good day.