I look at the unsuspecting people before he walks in, that unforgettable presence of dread and madness. I hide in the shadows, desperate not to be seen as he plays with people's panic. I find it hard to share my past with people, either out of misplaced fear or just damn scrutiny. It's because of him, my past is full of him and he won't let me go. So you want to know how I was a infamous psychopathic clown's love? Well I'll tell you. This is the story about how I met Jack or the Joker as he calls himself nowadays but I know different, underneath that heavy clown make up and those gruesome scars, there's a man. A man I fell in love with and I know he loved me too before he went crazy because of me. He doesn't know feelings anymore and it hurts so much that he's never coming back, my Jack…

Well it first started back in my high school days, when I was too young to know better, too naïve to pass judgement but I guess that's a good thing when it came to him. I was a transfer student, coming from a small town that had barely given me any worldly-wise experience, I had no idea how to handle a huge high school like Thompson High in Washington. It led me to him, some people would call it bad luck but I don't, How could I? I loved the bastard whether I like it or not and now as I breath deeply, I probably still do.

I threw my back pack over my shoulder as I half stomped downstairs, I was not looking forward to my first day. I gave a quick glance in the mirror and stopped to give my loose chestnut curls a little detangling. Once I was satisfied that it would have to do, I walked to the kitchen to snatch a piece of toast off a plate on the counter.

My mom came bustling in 'have a good day today, hun' she said, kissing my head lightly.

'I'll try' I replied grudgingly. My mom just gave me a look of well you better try.

I chewed my toast carefully and looked at the clock 'I better get going Mom' I gave a little groan and before I stalked off.

My mom called back to me 'let me remind you again, Blair. Have a good day'

I half rolled my eyes at that and shut the door firmly, the sky was a dull grey and if it decided to rain, I would curse. I got my keys out of my jeans pocket and opened the door to my rather old mustang, still it's my baby and I love the car to pieces. I adjusted my rear-view mirror before I turned the ignition on and drove out of the drive way. My new neighbour hood was just an average one really, nothing special. I drove past lots of houses before I got to my personal hell. Thompson High looked plain gloomy, it was a old fashioned building that looked sadly in need of pulling down. I parked my car in the car park that was filled with lots of teenagers all scattered in little groups. I got out and looked at a map that had been given to me previously from the head mistress, one group of guys who were leaning on a car looked at me curiously before they started ogling other girls. I strode off to the English department and started looking at the class numbers before I found mine.

One girl with a short blonde bob came up to me 'Hi, you must be the new transfer student. Blair is it?' she asked. She must be one of those annoying prefects who start doing the monotonous tasks of helping you settle in school and well the rest is history. I settled into a polite grin.

'Yeah Blair Winters' I murmured, I wasn't really paying attention to her. I stopped to stand outside the classroom awkwardly while she followed me.

'So' she said making conversation 'if you need me, just ask at reception' she finished off with pathetic sweetness.

I gave her a grim smile 'thanks' I muttered. She left quickly and other students started coming. A teacher stopped outside and opened the door, all of the students came in noisily. I stopped at his desk. 'you must be the transfer student' he said as his eyes narrowed on me with the thick rimmed glasses he had on.

'yes' I said accordingly.

'go sit in the back table over there' he ordered. I walked over and all of the students looked at me.

My teacher stood up and started addressing the class as I sat down ' this is Blair Winters, our new student this year' I smiled briefly at the many faces that were looking at me with curiosity burning in their eyes. I looked down and started taking out some files out of my back pack. The teacher spoke up again 'today were going to talk about how Cathy and heath cliff are represented in Wuthering heights. Take out your books' he commanded. Luckily I had a book and I gingerly placed my hand over it. 'Right so Cathy is' he was cut off when a figure burst into the room, his hair was dirty blonde and he was wearing all black. 'and why are you late Napier?' my teacher asked with a frown.

The guy smirked 'woke up late' he retorted.

'Go sit down in the back beside your new partner' I watched as he strode towards me, he was very handsome with a bright grin on his face.

He sat down next to me 'hey girly' he said 'what's your name?' he asked.

I looked away from him 'Blair' I said as confidently as I could.

He put his elbows on the table and leaned his face closer to mine, I was unaware of pretty much everything that was going around me. 'hmm, pretty name for a pretty girl' his eyebrows lifted as he smiled. I blushed and immediately scolded myself for doing it, he will not get to me on my first day I told myself.

I opened my book delicately and ignored his probing, I inadvertently watched from the corner of my eye as he stretched his arms out theatrically and looked at me with a fiendish smile.

'can I carry on Napier?' Our teacher asked sarcastically, he had obviously been watching our conversation in fact everyone on the room had been doing.

'Please do' the guy said smoothly.

I could see him looking at me again and I lifted my face to look at him 'what's your name?' I asked bluntly.

'the name's Jack' he said with a smirk and I looked down again, pretending that I didn't really care. The rest of the lesson was silent except there were a few stolen looks. He was so cocky and full of himself that I wanted to punch him. I walked out of the room as the bell rang, leaving him behind. The rest of the day went in a blur, turns out that prefect girl is one of those god awful cheerleader girls or something like that. I did meet some people that I did like, I met a guy named John who seemed to tower over me and a girl named Kate who told me to steer clear of the likes of Jack Napier, she had seen me getting uncomfortably cosy with him though I wouldn't call it that and basically told me to avoid him as he's trouble. Though I never really do as people say anyway.

I seen Jack again at the end of school and he gave me a cheeky wink before he drove off in black ford. I pretended to not notice he was there and drove off in the opposite direction. One thing's for sure, I am definitely not falling for him.

But now in the present, He's seen me, he turns his head sharply as he catches the sight of me and he's looking at me with familiarity in his eyes, the coldness is emanating from him and it's sending chills up my spine. He's half dancing over to me forgetting all the other people he was once wreaking fear on. I look away from his dark stare and he places his hands on each side of my face 'Blair' he almost whispers. I can see the turmoil in him, so many years that he's thought I was dead and here I am, in the flesh. I nod slowly and look into those pained eyes, I bite my lips worriedly and he shakes his head firmly. 'It can't be' he almost growls at me. He squeezes my face forcefully and searches my eyes.

'It's me Jack' I cry. 'I came to look for you'