Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or references to any episodes.
No one liked Sharon's death, but this is my take on what may have gone on behind the scenes in the aftermath of it all.
Being there for each other
Andy Flynn was still sad. Why wouldn't he be? His life was still in a bit of an upheaval. The love of his life was gone. She had died Dec. 19 and been buried that Saturday. He, Rusty, Ricky and Emily spent a quiet Christmas together at the condo, still reeling from the shock of the situation. The day after Christmas Andy was really down. He didn't remember crying this much in his life. After sitting with the kids for a bit, he excused himself to the bedroom. It was dark in there and he wanted to be alone. About 30 minutes later Rusty knocked and entered.
"Andy, are you okay?" he asked
"Not really kid. Not really," he replied, still in the habit of calling Rusty kid.
"Um..I don't know how to say this but… um…"
"Just say what you have to say Rusty."
"OK. Do you need to go to a meeting?"
Andy stared at him when he realized what Rusty just asked.
"You've never hidden it from me or mom and she told me once that sometimes you need a reminder to go and take care of yourself."
"That sounds like her," said Andy, with a slight smile. Andy had called is sponsor several times but had not physically attended any meetings.
"So I know you haven't been, what with mom and all. Please go Andy. We'll be fine here."
"Thanks kid."
"Anytime Lieutenant." They both chuckled. It felt good to laugh a bit.
"Seriously Andy, we're fine. You need to take care of yourself too. No offense, but you look kind of off. Not that I think you are going to drink, but you should go and be around your own group."
Andy scrubbed his hand over his face. "Yeah, you're right. I feel bad about leaving you kids."
"First, we aren't kids and second, we all are going to have to move on Andy. If we don't mom will come back here and kick our asses."
"True, very true. She would haunt us for sure," said Andy.
"I'm sure you know when and where one is today, don't you?"
"Yes, I do know when the regular meetings are."
"Great, I'll let Ricky and Emily know." With that, Rusty left and went back to his siblings. Andy rose and got ready to leave.
"Hey, is Andy okay?" asked Emily.
"Yeah, I convinced him to go to a meeting. He didn't want to at first, but now he's getting ready," said Rusty.
"Good job bro. We, or you, really need to watch out for him," said Ricky.
"He's not dad Ricky. He's too committed to slip," said Emily.
"You are right Em," said Andy as he walked into the room. I am committed. I promised your mom to take of you and I will. It doesn't mean I couldn't slip, but having you kids around helps. Reminds me of what I have to lose."
Emily got up and hugged him. "I know you will watch out for us Andy. You were so good for mom and for us. You actually care about us."
"I wasn't out to replace your dad honey. Jack will always be your father. As a person who hurt his own family, I speak from experience. Through a lot of hard work and persistence, I have reconciled with my kids."
"Andy, we love you and to us, all of us, you are our dad too and always will be," said Emily.
Andy hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you Em." He pushed her back and wiped her tears. "You look so much like your mom."
"Yeah and she fights just like her too, always has to get her way," said Ricky, attempting to break the tension.
"I do not," she said.
"Yes you do. You forget. She used to boss me around until I got taller than her," Ricky said smiling.
"And mom didn't let you bully me or her Richard," replied Emily. "One look from mom and you were a scared little boy again."
"Kids, enough," said Andy using his "dad" voice. Your mom was a beautiful, smart, tough and caring woman. You all have some of her traits in you, even you Rusty."
They all looked at each other. Andy smiled at them. "Your mom was proud of you all and so am I. While I've been more involved in Rusty's life than yours, I've tried to keep up with your lives as well. I know you have your own careers to get back to, but just remember, we're family."
All three kids looked at him. Ricky and Rusty got up and moved toward Emily and Andy. They all shared a hug, each lost in their own thoughts. They soon broke apart wiping their eyes as they had done so many times during the past few days.
"Now dad, don't you have somewhere to be," said Rusty smirking.
"Still the comedian aren't you kid?" replied Andy.
"Go Andy, we'll be fine," said Ricky.
"Ok," he said turning toward the door. "I love you guys."
"Love you too Andy," they said as he closed the door.
The drive to his meeting place didn't take long. He thought about what he needed to do as he drove. He stopped the car, got out, locked it and started walking toward the entrance. He found some of the regulars there. They were just getting started and Andy soon raised his hand to talk. He walked to the front, took a deep breath and started.
"Hi, I'm Andy and I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi Andy," the group responded.
"I've been sober over 25 years now. My wife of 3 ½ weeks developed a heart condition and passed away just before Christmas. I guess I've been on autopilot since then. Our kids have really been there. They are in pain too and I'm trying to be strong for them. The youngest one came to me today and kind of ordered me to go to a meeting. I was reluctant at first because I didn't want to leave them. I then realized they are adults.
"I really miss her and the ache in my heart and soul is still very present. I don't know if I'll ever get over this. She was the love of my life and we spent so many years dancing around each other before making a true commitment. She was there for me during my medical issues, but she wouldn't stand down and take care of herself. She could have lived a lot longer. I'm so mad at her for not thinking about what it would do to me and the kids if she died. I know in my heart that she wouldn't have wanted to lie around in a hospital, but damn it, she could have stuck around. She didn't even get to see our wedding photos.
"She was so beautiful. The first days after the funeral, I really wanted to crawl into a bottle and wash the pain away in a sea of booze. But my kids and my friends were there, and annoying as it was, they got me through. My youngest told me that if I didn't move on, Sharon would come back to kick my ass and haunt me around every corner. And he was right. I love her and I miss her so much, but I know I'm not alone. Thanks for listening."
The group clapped and moved on to someone else. Andy sat in the back and when it was over he got up to get coffee. He actually felt a little lighter and a bit of sunshine filtered into his soul. It was almost like Sharon was watching over him from above. A few of the people came up to offer condolences and John, the leader, asked if he had spoken to his sponsor. Andy said he had. As people started to leave John said, "Don't be a stranger, Andy."
"I won't, thanks."
Andy felt better and headed home. The kids were watching TV when he came in. "Hey guys," he said.
"Andy, how was your meeting?" asked Emily.
"It was good," he said sitting on the couch by Rusty. "I talked a lot about your mom and everything that has happened. I got a lot off my chest. I said I was mad at her but so in love with her that it hurt. I also told them that I'm getting through this because of my friends and my kids, all 5 of them. He paused, taking a deep breath.
"Andy, you made our mom so happy," said Emily. "I remember talking to her a several years ago and she told me that this one particular lieutenant was making her life hell."
"Oh yeah, what did Provenza do?" asked Andy. Rusty laughed.
"Oh no, it was both of you. Something about you and Louie letting a thief get away because she was young and pretty."
"God, why did she have to tell you that?" he asked.
" She had to tell someone Andy," said Ricky. "She also told us about the wicked witch drawing."
"Nothing was a secret with that woman," said Andy.
"Now Andy, you have to admit, you did get into some interesting situations," said Rusty.
"I'm sure I gave her more than one headache over the years," said Andy.
"She also called me pretty upset when you were beaten and stabbed," said Emily. "Said she didn't know why she felt that way, especially when you were so mean to her."
"Not my finest hour. When she was assigned to our division to find the leak, I didn't like it. Felt like we needed a babysitter," he said.
"I can relate to that," said Rusty. Andy just stared at him. "What, you guys didn't like me at first and I had to have a detail all the time."
"Anyway, I kind of started to change my tune with her. I would watch her from a distance. I fell for her when she fired that bean bag gun and nailed the guy between the eyes," Andy said smiling.
"Andy, we all miss her, but she'll forever be in our hearts," said Emily. "We are family and we will be there for each other. Andy you can lean on us. Don't be afraid to let it out or ask us for help. We're kids of a cop, so we're strong and we can deal."
"Thank you Emily. I'm glad you guys are here and we will keep in touch. Families stick together. I hope I'm as strong as your mom was."
"Trust us Andy, you are, because you are still here and not off someplace thinking only of yourself," said Ricky.
"Yeah Andy, you gotta stick around," said Rusty.
"Kids I don't know what I would have done without you here. I'm so grateful to have you in my life."
"Well you gotta stay on little bro here and make sure he stays in line. He might slack off some now that mom isn't here to call him on his crap," said Ricky.
Andy chuckled. "Oh I'll try. If that doesn't work, I'll set Andrea on him."
"Hey, no ganging up on me," said Rusty.
"One of the perks of having older siblings," said Emily.
"Oh but it's a two-way street. Rusty you have to keep an eye on Andy. You have our permission to bring in Patrice to set him straight," said Ricky.
"Gee thanks. Talk about ganging up on a guy," said Andy. "How about this, we will watch out for each other."
"Deal," said Ricky and Emily.
"It's always about the deals around here," said Rusty.
"You bet kid," said Andy. And we have a pretty good deal going here with all of us."
They all talked some more and decided to turn in for the night. Andy bid all of the kids good night and walked into his bedroom. As he got ready for bed, he thought about the day, the kids and how Sharon had done such a great job raising them, even Rusty. Climbing into bed, Andy Flynn spoke aloud to Sharon, a habit he had gotten into lately. He heard the wind rattle the windows. Smiling, he said, "I love you too." As he fell asleep, he knew things would be okay as his angel was watching over them all.