A/N: Hello! This is only my second time trying this out so please be nice. I know that I am definitely not the best but I would like some feedback to try and improve. Oh and any mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: If I owned NCIS would I be writing FanFiction? No I would be hanging out and writing a new script where Zibbs finally happens! Also the song is not mine, "Starts with Goodbye" belongs to Carrie Underwood.
It had been a week since he left her in Israel. A week since she made the biggest mistake of her life.
I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
Ziva would sit for hours debating with herself, should she call him or bury her emotions so deep so she could focus on the job at hand. Each time she would convince herself that he wouldn't want her anymore because she betrayed his trust and become the emotionless warrior everyone believed her to be.
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
She had to leave, to stay behind. As much as it pained her to leave the love of her life, Jethro deserved more than her she often reasoned with herself.
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
With Jethro, she let her walls down. She felt safe with him and with her family at NCIS. She had told and shown him much more than anyone before, she showed him her vulnerability, how in the end she was just a woman and not a killer. She felt completed for the first time in her life and now, without him by her side, she didn't know what to do.
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.
But she had to do it, she had to leave no matter how hard it pained her. She had been manipulated and betrayed one too many times. She needed to start over, figure out who she could trust. But sometimes, even a fearless assassin makes a mistake. I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
Her father, if she could still call him that, has said that she has gotten soft in America. It was true, she had emotions, she had feelings, and most importantly she found that love of life that she had forgotten about every since Tali was killed.
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
So she gave up her family, her Jethro, and her life to try and figure things out.
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
She was given a new mission. It sounded pretty crazy to begin with, but after being ordered to go alone, without her Mossad team, she knew it was suicide.
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
It was then that she realized that giving up everything she loved left her with no purpose. She would be the dutiful officer she was raised to be one last time, most likely ending in the loss of her life. I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Against all odds she had been rescued. Rescued by the family she abandoned. After months of torture, NCIS, the people she stayed quite to protect, were carrying her out of the camp she was held in. And best of all, Jethro was the one to kill her captor, to set her free.
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.
But with her rescue, came the choices again. What country would she stay with? What family she would choose? Would Jethro give her another chance? I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Ziva made the choices herself, no longer controlled by Eli. America was where she would stay and become a citizen. She would work by her dysfunctional family every day and love it. Most importantly, Ziva would be with Jethro and nothing was going to get in the way of that.
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
But, even with so much good, there has to be a downside. She had to leave Israel, her original home. Where she grew up with Tali and Ari by her side. She had to start over.
Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.
Starting over is hard, even with her family supporting her through everything she did. Jethro and Ziva made their relationship public which was a huge step for the private couple. She had become a citizen and a full NCIS agent. With each passing year, she continued to succeed and start living again. I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
She had been through a lot, more than anyone should be put through. Ziva hurt, she cried, and she felt emotions. She was not the mindless assassin that everyone pegged her to be when she first arrived at NCIS, all those years ago.
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Through loss and betrayal, through lies and pain, she was able to come out on top. She lost Tali, Ari, her mother, her homeland, and almost lost what she cherished most, her family who allowed her entrance into their lives.
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
Ziva did occasionally break down, contrary to what some people thought she was only human. But each time, at least one if not all of her team was right there to catch her and help her get back up again.
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
Letting go of so much would be impossible to believe for most, but for Ziva it was a challenge she accepted and conquered.
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Starts with goodbye,
If there was one thing that she learned from her time in America, it would be that emotions were not for the weak, but the strong. Also, that there were better ways to live your life than simply burying you feelings.
The only way you try to find,
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
Without all of the obstacles, Ziva might not have the life that she only dreamed about as a child. Change is difficult, scary even, but if you embrace it, you never know where it might lead.
Na na na na na na na.
Years later, Ziva lay in the hospital room with a little purple bundle in her arms. Jethro sat beside her bed and looked at his beautiful wife and then to the sleeping baby, "She's perfect you know, just like her mother."
Ziva smiled at him before she leant over to receive a gentle kiss, "When will they get here do you think?"
A squeal from the hallway answered that question for Jethro, "On my god Ziva where is she?" Abby said, who was showing quite a lot of restraint by not giving one of her bone crushing hugs.
Ziva and Jethro motioned them to come closer to as Ziva gave their daughter to Jethro, "Oh, she is so beautiful, you guys!" Abby exclaimed quietly due to the awakening baby. Tony, McGee, Ducky, and Palmer followed suit as each caught sight of the little girl.
"Ziva, she is adorable," Ducky stated and then the baby opened her stunningly blue eyes, "Seems she has your eyes Jethro."
Ziva smiled at the little girl being deposited back into her arms, "She is perfect, our little angel."
Jethro looked around proudly at his team and then at his wife, "Everybody, meet the newest addition to the family, Tali Kelly Gibbs."
Now if someone told Ziva that she would settle down with a family, marry, and have the child of her dreams a few years ago, she would have called them crazy. But now, after letting go of so many things and people and adding new ones to her life, she was exactly where she wanted to be and it all started with goodbye.
A/N: Thanks for reading and pretty pretty please leave a review, it would make me smile .