A man sits on a cushioned chair in a brightly lit room. He has a phone in his head, leaning back into his chair with a comforted smile. He looks up from his phone and smiles at you. "Hello. Welcome, welcome, please, take a seat. Have a drink, if you'd like. Cookie?" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small cookie wrapped in plastic.
He tosses it towards you, before putting his phone down and looking around the room. The room is covered from wall to wall with strange artifacts and knicknacks. From shrunken heads, to dolls, to jars with eyes floating inside. The man stands up, walking along the walls of his home, his hand gently stroking the items.
"My name is Leafy Dream. You can call me, Leafy, Mr. Dream, or whatever you may like. Sick Fuck pops up a lot…" He laughs, shaking his head. He lets out a heavy sigh, his eyes on the ground. He perks up quickly, smiling at you.
"I'm something of a collector. Of strange items and peculiar artifacts, but of something even more spectacular. The stories bonded to them. Behind every strange object is an even stranger story I've learned. Some terrifying, some amazing, and some just bizarre."
"If you'd like, sit down. Let me regale you with some of the stories I've learned across a multiverse of worlds. You may recognize the characters, but please, try to remember that they may not always resemble who you think they are. In some worlds, the greatest heroes can be the greatest monsters. In some worlds, those you hate, are the only ones you can love… Life is funny like that, isn't it? So many different stories…" Leafy nods his head in thought, smiling.
"So sit down, and enjoy this little tale with me, if you'd so desire." He walked along the wall, before coming to a stop at a small podium. A skull sat on top of it, a blade dug deep into it, embedded in the hard shell.
"We start our story, with a simple question?" He smiles at you, motioning you closer. "What comes after death? This is a tale, I like to call..."
All Sinners Go to Heaven
The last thing Cardin remembered was a knife going through his head. He tried begging for mercy, but it just came out as garbled stuttering. His tongue felt fat in his mouth, clumsily smacking the air as he let out a long, groan. He took a few steps towards his attackers, before falling to his knees and falling onto the hard, stone ground.
The faunus fuck laughed at him. Smiling as he left Cardin to die in that alleyway, the human's wallet in his hand.
Cardin died. He should have been dead, at least, but he clearly wasn't. He looked at his hands and feet, finding them without a trace of blood. He touched his forehead, finding no trace of the gaping wound.
He couldn't be alive. He still remembered the pain of his skull being caved in. The feel of his brain being punctured, blood and grey matter oozing from his head... None of this made sense…
Then he realized where he was, and he was even more confused. He was standing on a cloud, and that's all he can in the distance. A horizon of clouds and the setting sun as he stood there.
"W-where am I?" he thought aloud, looking around. Considering what he had just gone through, and what this place looked like, he couldn't help but answer his own question. He had just died, and now he was standing in the clouds.
Was this Heaven…?
Cardin wasn't sure if he wanted an answer. He started to walk, taking slow, deep breaths of the cold air. He kept walking as a voice tickled his ear. Laughter? It sounded like laughter, but from who or what, he wasn't sure…
"Hello?" he called out to the void.
"Hello." A voice greeted Cardin from behind him, and the ginger-haired man jumped. He turned around, arms raised to defend himself, only to find a man with silvery-grey hair smiling back at him. The man fixed his green glasses, licking his lips as he laughed.
"W-who the fuck are you?" Cardin asked, trying to shake the fear from his voice. The futile effort did nothing to intimidate the strange man, and Cardin gagged in disgust as he realized the man was naked. "Fuck, why you are naked?!"
"Why wear clothes? We're supposed to be happy here. I'm happy naked." He held his hand out to Cardin, and the young man's eyes widened as he saw the hand was stained in red. Like paint, but the smell of iron weighed too heavily in the air for that to be the answer… "Have you seen Ruby? I've been looking for her. She's always trying to play hide and seek with me."
"N-no. I haven't seen her."
"A shame." He shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head at the same time. "Shame, shame, shame. Do you want to play with us?" he asked, lifting a hand to touch Cardin's chest, his fingers pressed firmly against his pec, as if feeling the man's skin.
"Gah! Hands off, ya freak!" Cardin scowled, glaring at the man.
"Freak. Ha! Don't be such a prude…" The man licked his teeth, rolling his neck a bit.
"Who the fuck are you? Where the fuck am I?! Answer me!"
The man just laughed at Cardin's rage. He stepped forward, and Cardin stepped back. He refused to let this naked freak touch him again.
"We're in Heaven, young man. You made it. Isn't that great? Just like me. Just like Ruby. Just like hundreds of thousands of others."
"Heaven?" Cardin never believed in such a place. To him, he thought one life was it. You live, you die, that's it. Nothing after. There was a Heaven? But if there was one, then… "Why…? Why am I in Heaven? I-I killed people."
Wasn't that against the rules? Or did Faunus not count? Even if they were kids…?
"And?" The man laughed, holding his stomach as he shook his head. "No one cares about a few dead body. What matters is how fun you are."
"Fun? The hell are you talking about?" Cardin realized something, and he held his hand up. "Hold on. You never answered my question. Who the fuck are you?"
"Ozpin," he answered. "Professor Ozpin. I am what remains of the old gods."
"Old gods?"
"The brothers of light and dark," the older man explained, opening his arms in a grand gesture. "God left me as the only evidence of their existence. Well, me, and you. Not you, specifically, but people. Walking, talking, laughing, sinning, stupid people!"
Cardin had more questions to ask, only for Ozpin to gasp, laughing as he ran past the ginger-haired man. He practically shoved Cardin aside as Ozpin reached into a thick cloud, like it was push. He tore something out of it, and Cardin's eyes widened as Ozpin produced a small girl in his hands.
"Ruby! I found you!" The naked man grinned, his smile ripping the skin around his lips as it stretched across his face. Blood fell from the torn skin as he licked his lips, slurping up his own crimson blood. "Oh, thank God! I thought I lost you! Did God put you in there for me?"
"Let go of me! Let go!" The girl screamed, sobbing in the older man's arms.
This 'Ruby' girl clearly didn't want Ozpin's pawing, groping hands all over her, and Cardin felt disgust welling up in his gut. This was Heaven? What did this sick fuck do to deserve being in Heaven? The way he was grabbing at Ruby, a girl who barely looked legal, set something off in the man.
Cardin might have been a racist, but he couldn't stand for this shit.
"Hey!" Cardin ran forward, and he pulled the older man away from Ruby with one sharp tug. He slammed his fist into Ozpin's nose, knocking him to the ground. The man hit the ground, nose bleeding as he laughed. "Freak…"
Ozpin just laughed, his nose bent at a broken angle as he took in haggard breaths. With a low groan, his nose slowly bent back into shape, making gross, audible pops with every slow turn.
"Holy shit," Cardin cursed. He helped Ruby off of the floor and they ran together, leaving the naked man to laugh on the ground. He and the younger woman ran, and ran, and ran, not stopping until they couldn't hear Ozpin's laughter.
He came to a stop, taking deep breaths of the cold, cutting air. "Y-you okay?" he panted, looking at the girl.
She nodded her head, shaking, tears going down her face. "T-thank you…"
Cardin took another deep breath, before sighing. He had questions racing through his head. He looked at the little girl, Ruby, desperate for answers.
"What the hell is this place?!"
She flinched at his loud voice, shaking. "H-Heaven…"
"This ain't Heaven!" Cardin shouted, glaring at her. "How the hell is any of this Heaven?!" Another question plagued his mind. The question disgusted him, but he couldn't help but wonder, "How am I here…? Why?"
Ruby's eyes fell to the ground. She sniffled, quivering below him. She answered him smoothly, but there was a dullness to her words. Like she had answered this question many, many times before. "God picks people at random to go to Heaven…"
"Random…?" Cardin's brow furrowed. Who got into Heaven was… random? He looked around, glaring art the clouds around him like they were mocking him. "Where is he?"
She looked up at him, dull grey eyes a deep silver. "Hell." Cardin froze, staring at Ruby with confused, wrinkled eyes. "He goes to Hell to torture the souls of people who worship him." The obvious question dangled in the air as Cardin's jaw hung low. "God… God isn't like my mommy told me he is… He's-"
"Listening." The voice was like glass in Cardin's ear. He and Ruby cried out in pain, holding their heads as something rose from the clouds below them. Cardin's eyes widened as the sun was turned black, and the only light was the crimson glow of the rising figure.
Cardin shuddered as he saw the figure rise and rise, like a building splitting open the ground and rising to the sky, before it bent down and slithered through the air. The red light bled through the dark as Ruby hid herself behind Cardin.
The thing's head was as big as a truck, and it almost resembled a bird's head. A long, sharp beak made of blood-soaked steel, feathers coated in tar, dripping with thick, viscous slime, and eyes of cracked ruby.
"Always listening," the bird garbled, his voice as deep and low as bedrock. "Always listening."
Moments ago, Cardin was listing questions he'd ask the so-called god once he found him. Now all he could do was stare, shaking in terror as he struggled to speak. His knees knocked together as he prayed for mercy…
The bird laughed, and it sounded like someone choking on glass shards. "No mercy here," it cackled. "You want answers?" The red eyes shined a light on Cardin. "You want to know why I choose people at random? Of course you do. I hear your thoughts. Betraying you."
The bird's beak cracked, bending into an unnatural smile. "Because I can. Fuck you, and fuck the world," God laughed. "I love knowing millions of you worship me, only to toss the little shits into Hell. I love rewarding sick fucks like you, someone who kills people because of the shape of their ears? Your Heaven is not being stabbed and eaten and killed again and again."
Cardin didn't know what to say, but his mind spoke volumes.
"You think I'm crazy? I'm not. I'm vindictive, and cruel, and sadistic, but I understand every choice I make. I understand giving children to the sick and twisted." His eye glanced at Ruby. "I understand rewarding racists. I understand everything I do. That's what I love so much about it."
The beak was continuing to bend, smiling until the cracks became too numerous, and the beak broke apart, raining down pieces of it on the two. The hole it left behind was quickly filled with long, glittering, pure-white teeth. They chomped at the air, rivers of drool raining down on the two as God smiled.
"If you do not like my gift, then rot."
And the teeth spread apart, and God came down on Cardin and Ruby, teeth pointed sharp as Ruby screamed. There were only seconds to act, and for Cardin Winchester, it was more instinct than actual choice.
He pushed Ruby to the ground, letting her fall as God chomped Cardin up. The man didn't die, but he did suffer. Blades sawing and slicing through soft flesh and raw sinew as his gargled and choked screams echoed through Heaven. The sun returned as Ruby laid on the ground, tears welling up in her eyes. Caridin's anguished screams faded behind God's throat, before vanishing completely.
Ruby watched God turn away from her, now bored of the sobbing child's anguish. He left to entertain himself as the young girl held her legs to her chest, struggling to catch her breath. Meanwhile Cardin suffered within the belly of the worshiped beast, burning in stomach acid for the rest of his immortal life.
"For some, believing there is nothing after death is their greatest fear. I don't blame them. That is terrifying… For me, though, I fear an afterlife of malice," Leafy sighs. "What if God was a cruel, and malicious being, and he rewarded sins? What if he was just… a bad, bad person?"
The man scoffs, and he looks at you with a grin. "Of course, this is all just a story. Personal beliefs aside, whether or not I believed in a singular creator, I have hope that he, she, or whatever term it prefers is a kind and benevolent being. This is just a story, something to be entertained by."
Leafy turned away from the skull and fell back onto his seat, a tired smile on his lips. "I hope you liked it. If not, that's okay too. Horror is always something that scares me to tell. I'll admit to being inexperienced about it. But if you did like this story, and you want more, tell me so. I'll try to deliver. Have a wonderful Halloween, and know that you are loved."
"Cue the End card."
END