***Author's note: hey guys, this is my new oneshot, it might be a twoshot. I want to do a side from Inuyasha's POV. Because it's forming in my mind now, even if I don't even have this written down yet. This chapter is a songfic, the song being I Can't Hate You Anymore by Nick Lachey. I think it fits Kagome perfectly in this.
FYI: I don't own Inuyasha, or the song.
Couldn't Save You
An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.
I was in my room. It was so quiet, that the silence was loud on its own, making me want to scream out and break it. Anything that broke the silence. I was already sad and hurting without it. I wanted to scream and cry out, but at the same time, I didn't. if I did, it'd bring back the reason I was here.
I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burned the picture in a frame,
But it couldn't save me.
I burned your pictures, I made sure I wouldn't say your name. I thought it'd make me feel better, but it didn't, because I still felt the pain of loss, of rejection.
The silence intensified that. I was alone, and it reminded me that you weren't here, that I was in pain. All because of you.
And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.
We never even gave it a chance. You kept it up, saving me, giving me signs, mixed most of the time, but why couldn't you give us a chance? You never answered that. You never could, you never answered anything that made you vulnerable.
We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
Memories of everything we've been through flashed through my head. The castle where we kissed, I hugged you. After you saved me and Shippo in the well from the wolves, I hugged you the first time. You were human and just burst into the room I was in sitting in the tub, you gave me your robe of the fire rat to cover up.
Then that day. The day after the jewel was complete. I told you I loved you, and you told me that you only wanted the jewel to become full demon. You took it, and left. To Kikyo, most likely. You didn't look back.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
I could never give that to you. I could wish for you to live, tell you I loved you as a half demon, I could promise to stay with you, save you, but it was never anything you wanted. I gave everything I had. I came back when it hurt me, stayed with you, even though it hurt, but I couldn't save you. I was only one person, I wasn't everyone, and you needed acceptance to live on.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what you're looking for.
You walked away, not looking back once, not even a single sign of remorse or guilt. I gave up everything for you. I went back to your time to look for the jewel shards with you, giving up my life, my friends, my grades. Everything, and you just walked away from me, not even looking back. You just used me to find the jewel shards, then you left. You had what you needed. I couldn't save you anymore.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore
...I can't hate you anymore.
I tried for days to hate you. Days on end, I knew it would have been easier if I hated you. But that's the reason why I'm hurting. I don't hate you, and I never could. I can't even hate Kikyo, or the jewel. It was your choice, and you needed it. I couldn't save you.
You're not the person that you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
You changed after the jewel was complete. You became distant, almost cold. That's when I knew I couldn't save you, that you made up your mind, but I can't seem to cry for that choice; I knew it was coming, you said it since the beginning. I'm already crying enough for the loss of you, the change in your personality. You weren't you anymore. You were pulling away from me.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting go of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
I looked in the mirror once, after, and my eyes looked lifeless. That was the last time I looked in the mirror. I didn't want to see my eyes anymore, I didn't like the look in them, because it made me even sadder, and I didn't want to live in anymore sorrow. I wanted to forget everything I had with you. But I wanted to remember one last time.
We built it up,
To watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all.
You told me you needed me. You never wanted anything to happen to me. You hugged me, you let me ride on your back. You got jealous over me. Then you just walked away, taking everything I had with you. You didn't feel bad about it. Our relationship meant nothing to you.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
I tried to tell you that you didn't need the jewel. But everything I did for you wasn't enough. I couldn't save you. You needed the jewel. You didn't give me a chance to be what you needed. You walked away before I could try.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what you're looking for.
I'd given everything to you. My heart, my life. You held it all in your hands. You controlled when I could go home, I had to ask you. You had my heart, because I'd never love anyone else like I love you. You just needed me to find the jewel. You didn't want to use your precious Kikyo that way.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
I couldn't hate you or Kikyo though, no matter how hard I try. Kikyo was there first, not me. I was the copy. I was just the copy of the first girl, one you could keep around, just to find what you need. I was like a picture to you.
Sometimes you hold so tight,
It slips right through your hands.
Will I ever understand?
I've brought you back from being full demon so many times, it's hard to count anymore. I've tried to hold on to you, but in the end, you slipped away from me anyway. How can that be? I was holding on, but you slipped and fell.
We built it up,
To watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all.
We built it up, and I thought you loved me, but I was wrong. You chose the jewel over me, proving to me that what you said over the years was so true. I was just a jewel shard detector. I didn't mean anything to you. You walked away so easily, and I was envious about it. I wanted to walk away from that life just as easily as you did.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
I tried my hardest, but I couldn't save you. You never saw what I saw. You saw the person that people made him out to be. You saw the worthless half breed that everyone hated. I saw this wonderful person. But that wasn't what you needed.
You needed the jewel, and therefore I couldn't save you.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what you're looking for.
My life is gone now, I have nothing to live for. My friends stopped trying to talk to me a long time ago. My family stopped trying to make me come out of my room. I stopped fighting the pain.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
I wish I can hate you! It'd be so much better than this hell right now. I wish I could walk away from everything as easily as you. I can't hate you though. I tried at first, and I almost succeeded.
We built it up,
To watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all.
You built it up, you walked away, you left me to my pain. You walked away and you knew I loved you. You know I did. And I watched you walk away, and watched what we could have had fall and fade into darkness. It was gone.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
I wish I could save you. I wish I could have been what you needed. But I couldn't save you. And I can't hate you. You got what you needed.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what you're looking for.
You just walked away, and I can still see the back of your head as you left. You took my life, and too the jewel, and now I can't go back and find you.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
I can't hate you, but I wish I could. You walked away, I gave everything to you, you took the jewel, what you needed, and left me there, looking after you. I couldn't save you.
I can't hate you anymore.
****Author's note: hey guys, I think I will make this a twoshot. Yeah, I will, because I have a part with Inuyasha in my head. So please review, and please check out my muse, Drama Kagome. She has stories that are amazing. Thanks for reading!