I just sat their on the beach listening to the waves. It was one of the few things that could calm me, one of the few things I knew were permanent. The waves, they had lived for millions of years, been put through hell with pollution and drought, yet still able to crash against the shore with a fierce slam, still able to fight to protect it's self. It flowed and drifted protecting the things inside with care while still being strong enough to wipe almost anything out, so strong even Gaia couldn't hurt it. My mum was another. She had and always would be my rock, my best friend and the one person who had been there with me my whole life. I knew one day my rock would corrode and start to disappear, I knew she would pass away leaving me with out that steady smile she would give me and those words she would whisper when I was sad. I wouldn't feel her arms around me or see her cooking in the kitchen. I wouldn't see her cleaning the lounge room or moping the floor humming away in content and I wouldn't be able to tell her how much I love her and how much I need her anymore without hearing complete silence in return. I would see the empty space and darkness she would leave once her bright smiling face disappeared forever. But I knew she would always be with me... Always. I would remember her comforting words and picture her standing there smiling at me, I would remember her laugh echoing off the halls and remember that's she was the reason I turned in to I am now. And the last one was annabeth.
My wonderful wise girl. We meet when we were twelve... So long ago, Those stormy gray eyes so full of love, those golden princess curls that bounced passed her shoulders. She had been my reason for living since the moment I meet her. She was funny and smart, curious, strong and so beautiful that if you didn't know you'd think she was Aphrodite's child. She had been there for me through bad and good times. She would smile brightly at me as she ran through the strawberry fields her hair dancing in the wind, she would wrap her arms around me and say comforting words that sounded like music from her lips when I was sad, she would always tease me laughing a laugh that would swell the hearts of every living being on earth. I would always love her.
I looked down at my wrist, the spot I had decided to place it, looking up at me was the little picture of an owl, under it was the words wise girl in cursive. I hated the fact that my gray streak had faded, even if others would be grateful, that streak was the only visible connection between me and my wise girl, the memory of our love even before we could admit it. I traced my fingers over the tattoo, we had decided to get them, a new mark on us to symbolise the connection we share. I always smile seeing the words seaweed brain in cursive on her collar bone, the trident underlining the script. We had been through so much, all of our quests, our fights and wars. I had almost lost her so many times... To. Many. Times...
I took deep breaths trying to stop shaking but it didn't help.
We had all risked our lives multiple times and we always lost even when we won. I refused to lose annabeth. Every time i had her something would happen. I had fallen for her, kissed her, hugged her and I was pulled away from her yet again. I didn't see her for eight months. Didn't see her beautiful curls that would be pulled back in that loose pony tale I loved so much, I didn't see her gorgeous eyes sparkle in the light, didn't hear her breath taking laugh... Then I got her back again and i couldn't even enjoy it because we were told we had to save the world again. I wished with all my being we could just be together and be happy. To be able to go on dates like normal couples without being attacked by something, that I could cuddle up with her without having the constant fear that something would take her away again, to be able to get married and have kids running around our ankles without watching for monsters. Even after saving everyone from Gaia things weren't perfect between Romans and Greeks. We were better, some actually living at the different camps but not a perfect family either like Hera had expected.
No matter how hard I tried I wouldn't be able to just lay with her, no worries, no fears, no monsters...
I closed my eyes tight at the thought that flickered behind them for the third time that night. Annabeth holding on for dear life, my hand holding hers, the giant hole beneath us. She had told me to let go... To let her fall so I could be safe. It killed me knowing I couldn't pull her up, physically hurt to know the tortures that happened in Tartarus couldn't be prevented. I remembered the only thought in my head SAVE HER, PROTECT HER
I couldn't let her go, her warm hand in mine, so I let go of the ledge and fell with her. I would never leave her again. The thoughts of Tartarus made me cringe. It was awful and it scared me to death, scared both of us. I would wake up screaming at the visions behind my eyes. But that was not what bothered me, it was the days that annabeth would scream, scream and cry. She had watched one of her best friends die in front of her and then I was taken away and she searched for months restless, and just to top it off she was placed in hell literally. I remembered the nights we would sit against the shivering cold rocks huddled as close as we could get to each other, we would try to be brave down there...
I took another deep breath and stared glassy eyed at the waves
Ever since we got out of Tartarus we had slept together at night, we would hold each other close fighting off the images together just like we would a monster. When we got back to camp we had done the same thing for a while, sleeping in my cabin at night ignoring everyone's comments but that was before Chiron had spoken to us. I knew there were certain rules that couldn't be broken and I knew that I didn't care at all. Chiron didn't want to say anything I could tell but he had to... And I knew annabeth would try to sleep in her cabin, it was her fatal flaw, Hubris, she believed she was capable of anything and so was I, I knew she would reach her goals and oh so much higher. She had once told me that she believed that the world could be messed up, that she wished she could just start over and that she would make it perfect. And I believed with ever fibre of my being that she could.
But even though i knew it was useless I had tried sleeping that night, every time I closed my eyes I would see my friends that had died, the image of annabeth taking that knife for me, her falling and me not being able to save her. I had given up on sleep knowing that if I did I would most likely wake up screaming again, another image playing in my mind...
So I walked to the beach, my comfort zone. I tilted my head up and looked at the clouds silently pleading that there would be no more wars, no quests, nothing to drag annabeth away anymore and that's when I heard a soft sniffle from behind me. I turned and saw the most beautiful and heart breaking thing in the world. I stood up and walked over to her, I didn't need to ask what happened or what she saw, I needed to be there for her. I pulled her into a tight hug, her ragged short breaths bringing tears to my eyes " I'm here wise girl, shhh I'm here" I whispered rubbing circles into her back and I held her tight. We didn't sleep that night, we just laid in each others arms on the beach not caring if we got caught or eaten by the harpies, after everything harpies weren't exactly scary. I held her close to me not saying anything, only kissing her tears away as she did mine as we laid listening to the crash of waves against the shore, fighting to survive just as I was, a fight to keep everyone that I cared for save and a fight to stay alive long enough to see the sunny days that had been something of a distant dream, a dream I aimed to make happen with annabeth at my side.
It literally hurt me writing this but I needed to, I hope you liked it and that it was ok.
Please tell me your thoughts :) oh and I drew the cover image for this story, what do you think?