All Rights to Hiro Mashima

BEWARE THE PERV! BEWARE THE CRACK SHIPS!

~Reveal~

"So...How do you want to tell them?"

The blonde fidgeted slightly with the new adornment gracing her left hand and sighed long and low. "I don't know. Do you have any ideas that won't have the Demon coming after my ovaries and tricking them into making babies, or trying to ward her off even though she has a sixth sense when it comes to these things? Or stop Laxus from shocking you into oblivion because you didn't tell anyone we were dating and that you up and bound yourself to his baby sister even though he told you that I was the one person who you were not allowed to date?"

He cringed at the thought of her pseudo brother's insane protective nature over the woman the Lightning Dragon Slayer deemed as one of his most precious kin almost a year and a half ago. "No clue baby. All I know is that once we step through those doors and fucking announce this shit...Titania's going to have my balls in a vice grip so strong, I won't ever be able to have children, and I know how much you want children someday." Maybe it would be advantageous to invest in an indestructible cup to protect his most private parts. It would definitely save him from having his balls busted by the red-haired Demon.

Lucy looked up in mock shock at her very new husband. "Baby...you know I wasn't all that innocent before you came along, and yes…we need to protect you man-piece as effectively as possible, I really, really like it as it is."

Red eyes glowed green as the man in question smirked slyly. "I know doll, but they only just figured out that you weren't as innocent as you seemed just last year. Pretty sure Erza still thinks of you like the proverbial Virgin Mary some days."

She just giggled and leant against his side, wrapping her dainty little hands around his waist in a tight hug.

He growled a little at his next thought. "I'm still pissed at that fucking Rust Bucket for being able to be with you before I did." Bickslow pouted petulantly like a small child. He just couldn't help it, he loved her, goddamn it! And was allowed to be mildly sad that he wasn't there first to take his wife's virginity.

Lucy slapped his chest with a small giggle. "You know that was a one-time thing. Levy just got with Jet, and the war with Alvarez had ended. We thought the world was going to end and he was a bit heartbroken...you can't blame us for wanting to celebrate a little after the victory party. Also...I was hella drunk, and you know how I get when I lose control..."

Oh did he ever know. Bixslow loved it when his Celestial Mage goes absolutely wild. Some of his best memories - and yes that includes some of the best sex they've had to date - happened when she lets herself go and drinks More than usual. He nuzzled his little wife's hair, taking her scent in deeply. "I know. Don't worry, I told you after our first date that there would be no judgement from me, you know that. I am the last person in all of Earthland that should be able to judge your choices, even though it makes me want to beat him into a bloody pulp and then fuck you raw beside his unconscious body."

She kissed his cheek with a soft smile, not particularly phased by his weirdness. She thought he was sweet in his own strangely perverted way. "Thanks, Bix. That's why I love you."

"I know Cosplayer. Love ya too." He leant down to press a lingering kiss on her sweet lips. Damn, he couldn't help but be addicted to everything she was.

He was a very lucky bastard.

Lucy hummed in pleasure and looked him in the eyes even though they were covered with his visor. "Erza won't castrate you or anything. She just likes to know that I'm being taken care of, and if I tell her to back off, she will. I was her first friend that was a girl in the guild after all. Not including that fucked up rivalry she had with the She-Demon in her childhood of course."

"Thanks, doll." His wife was the best. She would stop a rampaging sword wielding monster before she could chop off his dick, just for him.

"But you know you have some of your information wrong. Being with Gaj wasn't my first time experiencing something on the carnal end of the spectrum Bix."

At that admission, the Seith Mage took a step back and evaluated whether or not his wife was pulling the wool over his eyes. They liked to prank each other sometimes, so sue him if he was a touch on the cautious side. "Ah...what? I thought that it was Metal Mouth who took it from you. The way that the Flamethrower was spewing ash and smoke all over the place that day…You're telling me you lost it to someone else?"

Lucy smiled devilishly, her brown eyes darkening until they looked like pools of molten chocolate. He loved that look. It usually spelt trouble or immeasurable pleasure and ended up with him balls deep in a screaming Lucy either way. She had given him those eyes before she had suggested trying anal for the first time, then the same thing before she mixed ghost chilli peppers into Gray's ice cream. It was a win-win situation for him and adored it when she wreaked havoc on their family. "Oh. Gajeel for sure popped my cherry babe, but my first sexual experience? It wasn't him."

It dawned on her husband a minute later. "Shit. You mean...?"

Her grin widened slowly as she leant in to softly kiss his cheek. "Yep! For a full year...anything that came even close to my lady bits where others of its kind."

"Gods above. You were with women...how did you not tell me!? Shit that is so goddamn hot." He felt his pants become uncomfortably tight at the mere admission. He tried to surreptitiously adjust himself, but he gave up after a while. Lucy would find a way to get him hard and throbbing again, so it was a moot point really.

Lucy tilted her head in confusion. "I can't believe you haven't heard this yet...you really didn't know?"

"No." Bixslow shook his head in apparent awe. "Haven't heard anything about all this before."

"I'm surprised Erik didn't tell you about it. He is one of your best friends after all."

She was right! Cobra could literally hear souls, and he was Bickslow's closest friend outside the Thunder Legion. Dammit, how could his bro keep this juicy little tidbit from him for so long?

"Tch. That one-eyed bastard is officially on my shit list now. Mavis...I wish I could have been there to see it! What I would have given to be a fly on your wall..." To think…his sexy little wife was so naughty before they even got together. He thought he was a bad influence on her, but it seems that they were a perfectly perverted pair together.

"Who was your first time with then? You can tell me that, right?"

She nodded. "It was right after the guild regrouped after that one-year hiatus. People realised that life was short after all and that they should be with the people they loved. So they started to pair off...Cobra and Natsu, Kina and Max, Mira and Freed, and so on. Gray finally got his shit figured out and miraculously realised that he was super gay for Lyon's penis and their rivalry over Juvia's affection was just a way to interact with each other. It always seemed like a weird sort of foreplay now that I think about it."

Bickslow knew what she meant. He could literally see souls if he chose to and would often notice the glimmering shine of a happy soul brighten just that little bit more when the people who were meant to be together came into contact. For some souls, it was easy to see, like Natsu's for example. Being a Dragon Slayer, he was meant to mate with one person, and only that person could make the others content. But for other people, it was ridiculously hard for him to see their soulmates. Like Cosplayer. Her soul damn near blinded him whenever she was around just about everyone. That little ball of gold in her chest was so versatile and welcoming it actually reached out and soothed other souls it was close to. It was the same for the tiny blue Slayer and oddly enough…Freed.

"Juvia was devastated. She came to me to vent and cry a bit...and one thing led to another..."

He nodded. Juvia was never meant for Gray, and he could see the happiness practically shine out the water mages ass in the presence of her soul's true companion. "That's why she stopped calling you love rival isn't it?"

"Yeah. After that...I knew I could go both ways, I'm not picky, attraction is attraction, right? But Juvia realised that she had a thing for women. She was in a pretty good relationship with Meredy for a while there until the distance thing was too much for them, seeing as she stayed at Mermaid Heel when Crime Sorciere disbanded. Lis came and swept her off her feet after that. I still catch them in the bathroom going at it sometimes...I'm sure you can imagine, Juvia is very flexible. That water body comes in handy." Her saucy grin had him shifting awkwardly. Damn that sexy little minx for turning him on in front of the guild again.

Bixslow could hardly contain his enthusiasm. Who knew his wife would continue to surprise him like this? "How was it? With Juvia I mean."

"...Wet."

"I bet it was." Bickslow threw his head back and laughed. Fuck…did he ever love his Cosplayer. She was always so candid and open with him, always truthful. He was so thankful that he found someone as straightforward as him.

He absolutely hated when people gave each other the runaround. Lucy was never like that. She was comfortable in her own skin, and he almost envied that skill of hers. He was still coming to terms with his eyes and brand and heritage, but the amazing woman beside him was breaking down those walls, brick by brick. And now he would have her for eternity.

"Bet Mira loved when Lis and the Rain woman started to date."

Lucy hummed and smiled, all teeth and sunshine and blinding devotion. "She sure did. Nothing like seeing all your loved ones find love for themselves. Or, you know…whatever the fuck Erik and Natsu have. More like rivals that brawl and try to break each other's faces then bang out their aggression in the supply closest then the sexual tension gets too high."

Bickslow snorted. Those two idiots wouldn't ever change. Natsu would always show his affection for his mate by trying to pound him into the ground…both physically and sexually.

They lapsed into comfortable silence, just staring at the wooden double doors that lead into their home away from home.

Another moment was taken in silent contemplation before the peaceful reverie was broken. "So...got anything yet? On how we - meaning both of us and not just me - go about telling our beloved but fucking crazy family that we have been dating for eight months, meeting up in secret on jobs, and got so damn wasted in Akane Beach three days ago that we wound up married?"

"You know…I think that most of your more crazy stories start with the words 'I was so wasted…'"

Lucy rolled her eyes playfully and elbowed her husband in his side. "You have absolutely no idea Bix, blame Cana for introducing me to Tequila shots. But…isn't that why you love me? It's never a dull day together. I think being married is a wonderful new adventure."

Bickslow's smile only widened exponential at the mention of their nuptials. Their wedding night, while being a slight blur, was something that he would always remember, especially that little white lacey number she wore for all of two minutes before he absolutely shredded it trying to get at her dangerous curves. "I think the best way is the straight truth. I know all the Dragon Slayers have been getting suspicious. You know their sense of smell is better than most...and that Poison Prick will have heard it as well...and he probably told Kina...you know how gossipy that little Snake Fucker is."

"Dammit! I should have thought of that...is that why Erik's been smirking at me more than usual? Shit...If he told his best friend...wouldn't he tell his mate as well?"

The blue-haired man rubbed soothing circles on the back of his wife's (he won't get used to using that word anytime soon) neck and shook his head. "I don't think so. You know how Natsu gets when it has anything to do with you. Remember when he found out about Gajeel?"

Lucy grimaced at the sheer amount of rebuilding the guild had to go through after Gaj had let that indiscretion slip in the middle of the inter-guild relation party. It was bad enough that Natsu had to scream it out for all of Fairy Tail - and honestly all of Magnolia - to hear, but both Lamia Scale and Blue Pegasus had also been in attendance. The resulting fight had left more than one Mage down for the count and over forty percent of the guild hall in shambles. Thank the Gods Erik had just gotten back from his latest mission and was able to cool down his hot-headed lover.

Even then, you can sometimes smell the wood of the guild smoking slightly, and she knows that Master still has flashbacks about all the paperwork he had to complete and the amount of money he had to shell out to foot the bills.

She shuddered at the remembrance of following week...Mira had hounded her on the details of her and the pincushion's carnal relations absolutely relentlessly. Lis hadn't been much better...but in her defence, matchmaking was in her blood. She blamed Mira for that, and everyone else did as well.

Lucy steeled herself and grabbed Bickslow's hand in hers. There was no time like the present...She loved Bix, and that's all there was to it. No regrets and no second guessing their admittedly drunken decision.

Both felt it was inevitable anyways.

She looked at her companion, mirth and joy shining in her eyes. "You ready for the big reveal Bix?"

A green glow emanated from behind his mask, and a tongue-lolling grin slid over her husband's face. "Ready as I'll ever be babe."

-ooo-

Bickslow and Lucy opted for a relatively silent entry into their beloved guild compared to the obnoxious yelling of 'WE MADE IT BACK ALIVE!' that was always spewed out of Natsu's mouth when Lucy's team came back from a job.

Admittedly, after the fact, they realised that this wasn't their smartest moment. Fairy Tail mages were loud and liked to scream and brawl. So a quiet entry would raise more suspicion than if they had knocked the doors off their hinges.

The room fell silent, and the blonde and her companion stood in front of their family, hands clasped together, eyes wide like deer caught in the headlights of a magic mobile.

Bickslow looked over towards Cobra – who he was still pissed at dammit – and watched as the Poison Dragon Slayer's eyes widened slightly and unconsciously leant towards his mate – who was stuffing his face full of fire chicken – ready to intercept the raging fireball that was Natsu Dragneel.

Mira swept out from behind the bar, tray laden with mugs of ale. "Oh hello, you two. How was your mission?" Her smile was pleasant, but her eyes were full of deadly promises.

"Oh. It was fine Mira…thanks for asking." Lucy was a very confident person usually, but Mira being sweet scared the ever-loving shit out of her. She wasn't called the She-Demon for no reason.

"That's good, nice to have you home!" And then she was gone, serving the chilled glasses of beer to Macao and Wakaba. Slowly the room returned to normal, and Bickslow and Lucy crept towards the bar, fingers still entwined.

"What the fuck is going on? I thought they would be all over this shit as soon as we came in the door. Where's the maiming? The threatening? The swords and fire and ice? Even Gajeel got a massive beat down for fucking you that one time." He whisper-shouted into her ear.

Lucy swatted the back of his head. "Shut it Bix! Do you really want to die today?"

Bickslow pouted again, his bottom lip jutting out. "I just feel a little underappreciated is all."

The Celestial Mage rolled her eyes and ordered a smoothie for herself and a bourbon for Bickslow from Kinana. They both slowly relaxed at the bar feeling like this 'reveal' of sorts was going better than they ever expected. No one was bleeding, and Lucy's clothes were intact. Really, it was a good day so far.

From his spot a little ways away from the two, Cobra snorted in derision as he heard the path their souls were taking. "It's the fact that we all already knew about you two. You weren't exactly discrete. Taking solo's around the same time as each other, always going in the same general area of Fiore, and not to mention the fact that you both practically reeked of pheromones and sex if you stood within thirty feet of the other."

Lucy's jaw dropped in surprise as Bickslow choked on his drink. "How did everyone else know Erik? I understand you Slayers figuring it out but…"

"Easy. I told them."

Bickslow's eyes narrowed at his supposed best friend. "Fuck you Cobra."

Cobra's smirk widened until it was a full-blown smile that leaked his signature poison. "Come at me Bix-y."

Lucy watched as her husband launched himself off his barstool and started a small tussle with his toxic friend, smiling in amusement. Natsu sidled up to her side and threw his warm arm over her shoulders. She leant into him, happy for the comfort. "Natsu…if you knew about him, why didn't you ever say anything about it to me? Every other man I went on a date with was never good enough and usually meet with a flaming fist or two of yours."

Pink hair shifted as Natsu shrugged lazily. "You wanted to keep it a secret. So I didn't say anything."

"But what about all that shit you pulled when you found out about Gaj and me? Why no explosive destruction this time?"

Natsu pulled her into a crushing hug, smashing her into his torso. "Cause I could see how happy he makes you. Gejeel's a Dragon Slayer and should mate with a single person. One night stands are…dangerous. Sometimes it can result in the Slayer marking someone they weren't meant to be with and putting both their lives in jeopardy."

Lucy only smiled and breathed deeply as her best friend finally loosened his hold, wondering if he had bruised her ribs. "Thanks, Natsu, for everything."

His answering grin was blinding in its sincerity. "No problem Luigi."

"That's also why the giant circuit breaker didn't shock Crazy Eyes over here to death. We can all see how you two complement each other, even if you were trying to hide it." Cobra and Bickslow had finished their childish fight, only slightly worse for wear clothes tussled and hair in disarray.

Lucy grabbed a deeply tanned hand in one of her own and squeezed lightly. "Thank you, Erik." She whispered. He nodded in acceptance, never one to go over the top with his emotions. Maybe they would just put off the fact that they got married till later seeing as everyone was so accepting of their relationship.

"Where is the walking outlet anyways? I haven't seen him for a while."

Natsu sniggered as Cobra grinned evilly. "He and Cana should be coming home from their week long fuck-fest any time now. Can't believe he finally marked that drunkard."

"Shut it Cobra! Or I'll snap off your scaly dick and shove it down your throat."

Lucy turned at the sound of a familiar deep voice and sprinted towards the six and a half foot tall behemoth just inside the guild's doors. "Your home!"

Laxus grinned and swept the petite blonde into a bruising hug. "Hey, Blondie. Miss me?"

She giggled like a little girl, happy in the moment and still ecstatic that the stoic Lightning Mage had adopted her into his family. "You betcha."

"So you and Bickslow eh?"

Lucy blushed but only nodded. She could never keep anything from Laxus for long.

"You're happy?"

"Yeah, I am."

Stormy grey stared into warm brown for a moment before Laxus deemed her truthful enough to accept her answer.

"LUCCYYYYYY!" As the blonde was set down on her feet again, she was knocked over as a very drunk Cana barreled into her and hugged the living daylights out of her.

"Cana! How was the trip?"

"Amazing. Laxus is very good with his penis. Kept me satisfied all night long for a whole week."

Lucy blanched. She really didn't want to hear about her brother's stamina. "Oh ugh. No. Cana. Gross. Stop talking." She had forgotten just how honest and unfiltered Cana got when she was this drunk. "What the fuck Sparky?! How did she get this wasted? And with-" Lucy took a tentative sniff, "-ugh, whisky. You know what it does to her…she gets all handsy and shit."

Laxus only shook his head and moved towards the bar to join Bickslow in his afternoon glass of Bourbon. They both looked over towards their respective loves to see Lucy trying and failing to beat Cana's hands away from her ample bosom. "Shit. What is with everyone and her breasts? I have to practically dig that flying blue menace out of her cleavage every other day!"

Blonde eyebrows wiggled lecherously. "Jealous Bix?"

The Seith Mage slumped over the bar, banging his visor against the wood. "…maybe…It's just…everyone else can touch them in public! But for me, it's 'inappropriate' and 'creepy.'"

Laxus waved Mira over for another. "Awe. Poor Bixy, can't molest his girlfriend in public."

Bickslow sniffed dryly and gestured over to the floor again. "Can you see me getting away with that shit?"

Cana had both hands wrapped around Lucy's breasts now, straddling her on the floor with a surprising amount of strength, while they both screeched at each other to either 'GET OFF' or 'HOLD STILL, I NEED TO INSPECT THEM MORE.'

The blonde only sighed and ambled over to tear his mate off his little sister.

Lucy readjusted her top and stomped over to her husband who wrapped his arm around her and gave her a single kiss to her crown of golden hair. "I am super fucking jealous of Cana right now."

"Don't be. Her grip was always too tight, I always had to tell her to be gentler…but she doesn't have to be with a Dragon Slayer. He can plough her into the floor if she wants."

"Wait…you and Cana?"

Said Card Mage wiggled in between them with a surprising amount of dexterity and flexibility. "You got it Bix. Juvs and I used to have heaps of fun with her."

Bickslow's brain short circuited for a moment before he turned towards his crazy little minx of a wife. "Both? At the same time?" He whispered almost to himself, red eyes glowing green at the thought of his Lucy under some of the sexiest women in Fairy Tail.

Her brown eyes glinted with something that made his pants very tight again. Hot damn was he ever lucky to have this woman. Her smile turned wicked as Cana cackled something fierce.

Armour clinked beside them, and the resident re-quip mage sat down at the bar to request a whole cheesecake from Kinana. She turned towards them with mischief in her eyes. "Excuse my interruption, but I couldn't help but overhear your…conversation."

She turned on the Seith Mage and glowered at him. "If I hear you disrespecting my friend, I will cut off the tiny thing you call a dick and feed it to you. Understood."

He could only nod. Bickslow had no qualms admitting he was scared of Erza's ridiculous strength, he knew she could beat him in a fight if both her hands were tied behind her back and she only used her feet.

She nodded tersely, and a smirk that very rarely graced her face slid over her features. "You should invest in a pair of handcuffs. I took the pair that we used. Make sure they are padded, though, it won't do if she is left with welts around her wrists." Erza thanked Kinana for her packaged cake and sauntered back over to her slumbering fiancé. Lucy never understood how that relationship worked, Midnight was asleep for most of the day and Erza was always away on missions. She had asked once, and the red-head had only replied with a cryptic 'He is very powerful at night…' so she didn't push it and wished them the best of luck.

Cana poked Bicklows cheek as Lucy blushed a smidge. Leave it to Erza to reveal that she enjoyed being a sub and that she liked to be tied up and teased. Luckily, Bickslow knew most of it, but she had only figured out her deeper kinks with her teammate. "Yo Luce. I think Titania broke your boy toy."

"Hush Cana. He's fine…I think." Lucy pushed the drunk away towards her mate and slid down to shake her husband's shoulder. "Uhm…babe. You alright?"

His eyes snapped to hers, and his voice was low and rough, laced with lust and longing. "I'm fine doll. But you and I need to have a little talk about all these fun things that seem to be cropping up today." He leant forward and bit the shell of her ear, smirking when he felt her shudder. He knew just what to do to rile her up. "You think you've been a very, very bad girl today keeping all this from me. I think you'll need to be punished when we get back to your place. Do you think Virgo could help us out with some of the…equipment?"

She kissed him long and hard, passion and lust exploding between them. "I'll call her out as soon as we get there."

Lucy waved her hands around to get Mira's attention and pay off their tab to get the hell out of there. Unluckily, the blonde used her left hand while she used to other to hold her smoothie glass. Like a homing missile, Mira immediately saw the new addition to Lucy's hand and promptly grabbed the flailing appendage and all but yanked the Celestial Mage over the bar counter to get a better look.

"When the hell did you get married?!"

Immediately, a ripple effect washed through the guild passing on the new juicy gossip of Lucy's and Bickslow's apparent marriage faster than Natsu's fire could destroy a building.

It was silent for all of five seconds before the entire guild lost their minds. The women squealed and bombarded them with questions, while Laxus lived up to his name as the Thunder God and started to spark erratically, while half the beer hall was chilled to sub-zero temperatures thanks to Gray's Ice Devil magic while the other half was the surface temperature of the sun due to Natsu going all out as he lost control of his emotions.

Bickslow grabbed hold of his wife's hand and started to pull her towards the doors as fast as possible. "Time to go!"

Lucy started to run, dragging her cackling husband behind her. Smiling quickly at Cobra as he barred the doors behind them with his poison that acted as a knockout gas. Sprinting towards the train station with only the clothes on their backs and the money in their pockets they knew just what the other was thinking.

Lucy huffed and purchased to tickets to Hosenka. "Time for the Honeymoon?"

Bickslow pulled her into a hug planting a sloppy kiss on her forehead. "You betcha babe."

"Love you Bix."

He pulled her on the train ready for the next adventure. "Love you to doll."