The House That Built Me
Maggie/Jocelyn
…
The sun was very strong, Maggie trying to cover her eyes a little as she walked up the steep hill that would take her to Jocelyn's house. She stopped twice to catch her breath, she hated the hill but she loved the view from the rear of the house. She finally reached the gate, turning to look out at sea, a small smile crossing her lips before she turned and made her way in to the house. She knocked a few times, but no answer. She peered inside to see the Jocelyn sitting in the chair, her back to the door. Maggie turned back, searching the plant pot that sat on the wall. She finally found the key and put it in the lock, turning it before sliding the door along and going inside. The heat hit her almost immediately as she made her way over to Jocelyn who had begun to turn around when the fresh air hit the back of her neck.
"Don't you ever answer your door?" Maggie said.
"I didn't want the company; let yourself in why don't you."
"Why in the world do you have the heating on, it's boiling out there today."
"It wasn't in here."
"Well perhaps if you opened the curtains, it would be."
Jocelyn watched as Maggie began to tidy up around her, moving papers and files before opening the curtains to her right.
"Maggie please, just leave them."
"You need some daylight in here."
Jocelyn got up and moved in front of Maggie, closing the curtains harshly, stopping Maggie in her tracks.
"I said leave them."
Jocelyn returned to her chair Maggie standing with her arms crossed, watching the older woman closely before coming to kneel down in front of her.
"You need to get out of this house, get some colour back in to those cheeks."
"I'm not in the mood."
"Jocelyn, I know it's only been a week but you can't keep yourself locked away forever."
"Can't I."
"You know you can't, it's not good for you and anyway, you promised me dinner this week for all the help"
"Can't we just stay in for the evening?"
"I'll make a deal with you then, you come for a walk with me…."
"Maggie…"
"Just listen, if you come with me and get a little fresh air, I promise we can stay in this evening."
"I'm not going to win this am I?"
"Highly unlikely my love"
"Alright fine, anything for a quiet life. Let me just go and get my jacket."
…
Jocelyn stood in front of her bedroom mirror, her jacket finally on as she tried to do something with her hair. She finally signed and gave up, going to sit on the edge of the bed, opening the shoe box that was lying on the side. She opened the box, smiling when she picked up the small bundle of photographs and began to look through them. Maggie checked her watch, realising that Jocelyn had been away for a little longer than expected. She made her way up the stairs and came to a stand still in the doorway of Jocelyn's bedroom, watching the older woman as silent tears fell from her eyes. Finally giving in, Maggie went over and sat down beside her, wrapping an arm around her, pulling her closer to her.
"I'm sorry love; I know how hard it is. I was exactly the same when my own mother died."
"I remember."
Maggie took the photo that Jocelyn had in her hand, smiling at the two people in the picture.
"Your mother was quite something, wasn't she?"
"She certainly was, I still can't believe she's gone. It doesn't seem real yet."
"I know." Maggie said softly as she took hold of Jocelyn's hand.
"This is where you grew up?"
"I sold it two years ago when I had to put mother in a care home, it was hard. I loved that house."
"Why didn't you move in, sell this one instead?"
"I knew if I'd kept it, I'd just willow in self pity. It's not healthy and anyway, this house…this house I bought when I won my first big trial. I was so proud that day, being handed the keys and knowing it was truly mine."
Maggie put the photo's back in to the shoe box and closed the lid before getting up and bringing Jocelyn with her.
"Come on, let's have that walk mmmm."
"Sure."
"Where would you like to go?"
"Actually, I have an idea. Do you mind?"
"Not at all, let's go shall we."
Maggie wrapped her arm around Jocelyn's waist as they made their way outside for their walk.
…
I know they say you can't go home again.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
my favourite dog is buried in the yard
…
Maggie and Jocelyn walked along a country lane, an hour later coming to a standstill. Maggie looked at her curiously.
"Where are we?"
"This is it?"
Maggie looked at the house they were standing in front off, a small brown fence all the way around it, daffodils under the windows and two rose bushes on either side of the house.
"Oh, it's your family home."
"Was my family home, it hasn't been for quite some time."
"I'm guessing the swing and slide are new."
"The family who moved in I assume."
"You never met them?"
"No, I did all through the agency; it was too painful for me back then."
"And it's not now."
Jocelyn turned to Maggie, squeezing her hand before she spoke again.
"My mother's dead Maggie and this house is the last thing I have to remind me of her. I just want to see the place again, just one last time. Is that too much to ask for?"
"Not at all, come on."
Jocelyn opened the gate, walking up the path, her hand ever leaving Maggie's as she knocked lightly on the front door. A woman in her early thirties opened the door, a smile on her face as she saw the two women smiling back at her.
"Hello, can I help you?"
"Hello, I'm Jocelyn Knight and this is Maggie Radcliffe. I'm so very to disturb you. This is going to sound like a strange request but…I…"
Maggie watched as Jocelyn struggled to find the words she needed to say.
"What Jocelyn is trying to ask is, well this used to be her house. She grew up here and her mother recently passed."
"Oh, I'm so very sorry for your loss."
"Thanks you."
"Anyway, petal we were wondering if it's not too much of an inconvenience, if it might alright is Jocelyn was to have one last look around the house."
"Oh, right I see."
Jocelyn could tell right away that the young woman seemed unsure.
"We shouldn't have asked, Maggie let's go."
Jocelyn got ready to leave before being stopped by Maggie.
"What's your name petal?"
"Susan."
"Susan, I know it's a lot to ask. You don't know us but…it would mean a great deal to Jocelyn and to myself if you could see your way to allowing her one last look at the house, please."
"Maggie she…"
"You know its fine. Come on in?"
"Are you absolutely sure?" Jocelyn asked.
"I am, come on in. Excuse the mess, I have two unruly children."
…
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here it's like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines.
Plans were drawn; concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.
…
Jocelyn stepped inside, the same wooden flooring that had been there since her days as a small child. Maggie and Susan watched as the older woman looked around downstairs, stopping by the kitchen doorway, opening the door under the stairs and hearing her laugh a little.
"Jocelyn?"
"It's still here."
"What is?"
"Come and have a look."
Maggie and Susan came over, Maggie looking inside as Jocelyn's hand found its way to her back.
"I remember carving my name in the corner, just over there by the ladder. This used to be my little den; I used to hide from my father's clients that he used to bring around for dinners."
"Jocei?"
"I know it's silly."
"No, I like it." Maggie smiled, running a hand down her arm.
"Would you mind if I looked up stairs."
"Not at all, on you go." Susan smiled.
Susan waited for Jocelyn to go upstairs before speaking to Maggie.
"It must be hard, coming back here after losing her mother."
"It's been tough, but I think this actually helps her. I can't thank you enough for letting her do this petal."
"It's no trouble."
…
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here it's like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.
…
Maggie found Jocelyn in the back bedroom; she stood by the window, looking down in to the garden. Maggie came up behind her, wrapping her arms around her as she felt Jocelyn lean in to her.
"That oak tree down there?"
"What about it?"
"That's where Cece's buried."
"Cece?"
"The family dog, she was a Yorkshire terrior. She was a beautiful little thing, so loyal. It broke my heart when we had to put her down."
"How old were you."
"Twelve, she was hit by a passing car. The gate had been left open by accident; we couldn't stop her in time. She loved that tree; it felt only right that she be buried there."
Jocelyn removed herself from Maggie, walking over to the door, looking behind it.
Oh my, it's still here."
Maggie came over; looking at what Jocelyn was referring too.
"You mother recorded you height."
Maggie was about to speak again when Jocelyn began to cry quietly, she turned to Maggie, who immediately wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly.
"I'm so sorry my love, maybe it wasn't a good idea that we came here today."
"No, no it helped. I know it doesn't look like it but it did."
"Are you sure?"
"I am, and thank you for coming with me. I know I've not been the best person to you lately."
Maggie reached up, cupping Jocelyn's face in her hands.
"Don't be silly, you're grieving. You have nothing to apologise for alright."
"I'm sorry it took me so long to…to tell you how I felt, the years we've wasted."
"They weren't wasted, we were always friends. What we have now, I'm just glad we finally made it to here."
"I love you so much Maggie."
"And I love you too, more than I will ever be able to show you."
"I think I'm ready to go home now."
"Are you sure."
"I'm sure."
…
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
…
Maggie and Jocelyn gave their thanks to Susan for allowing them to look around the house one last time. Susan stood in the doorway as she watched the two women go hand in hand back down the path, smiling to herself when she saw Maggie turn and kiss Jocelyn like she was the only woman in the world.
…
-Fin