Disclaimer: JK Rowling is the genius behind the HP characters and
wonderful Snape. This is my fantasy alone and no money to be gotten, but a
lot of enjoyment from writing it!
Many thanks to my Beta-readers: Lady Claudia, Ivy and Marianne!
Prologue
He was curled up in a ball, trying to make himself as small as possible, pain shooting through his insides and burning into his middle. Crying, hot tears running down his pale cheeks, "Father, no, please. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to spill the potion!"
He had tried to please his father, time and time again but he just never seemed to be able to get things good enough for him, especially since his mother died. She had passed away four years earlier from a lung condition that St. Mungo's could not heal. Ever since then, his father had made potions to sell to the storeowners at Hogsmeade for the little bit of money he was able to. He had let his own store of 'Herbs, Supplies and Potions' go under when he took to drinking the Muggle alcohol drinks. They barely scraped a living out of what he was able to make. He would make Severus go out and gather what he could in the wild regardless of weather conditions or where the plants grew. When his father was not brewing potions, he was drinking their sickles and galleons away. Many times Severus had gone days without eating, other than any edible berries he found while out gathering.
"Look, boy! I have told you over and over to walk on THIS side of the cauldron." His father yelled as he flung his wand out and pointed it at him again. "This will be the last batch you ruin in your miserable pitiful little life!"
He covered his head with his arms protectively, "Oh please someone, come help me!" he was crying in his mind, but feeling helpless and alone. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, with a roar, a huge cat leaped in through the window, breaking glass as it went, knocking his father down and interrupting the Cruciatus curse mid-sentence. Immediately upon landing the cat transfigured, "STOP! You will NOT hurt the child any longer!" He saw flashes of blue-white flames flying from the figure to his father. He could not keep his eyes open as the pain overcame him and everything went dark.
He awoke for an instant to two hands ever so gently shifting him into arms that seemed safe. He saw a pair of tawny brown eyes that looked like cat eyes. He wondered for an instant whom this was, but his eyes closed again with the pain. He hurt so much, he cried more tears with each movement. Then darkness came to him again.
He awoke suddenly, and with a start. Drenched with sweat, he looked around to get his bearings. "Damn! It's the third time this month!" he thought to himself. He hadn't had this dream since he was a teen. It happened quite often when he was growing up in the orphanage that he found himself in, but as he grew older it had diminished. Why it was showing up again after so long, he did not know.
He looked around his bedchambers in Hogwarts; the sparse furnishings were coldly comforting in their familiarity. Then he remembered that the Headmaster had asked Madame Pomfrey in early this year to begin working with him on a 'special project' as he had called it. Snape of course, was at the school already. He lived there during the holidays as well. It was one of the few places that he had ever felt any security, especially after the years of being an active Deatheater for Voldemort. When he had left and come to Dumbledore and told him everything, Dumbledore had immediately given him a set of permanent quarters at the school.
There were other professors early there as well, working on some other projects that Dumbledore had asked them to. Voldemort had intensified his efforts through the summer months at recruiting new Deatheaters and he knew they were getting ready for a battle. He had reported this back to Dumbledore just a short four weeks earlier after one of his excursions into the inner circle.
He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and glanced at the small window out of his room and saw that it was still dark outside. He picked up his wand. "Lumos!" and checked the clock on the mantel: 2:30 a.m. "Aduro!" He started a fire in the hearth and felt the warmth begin to reach him. He put his wand out "Exstinguo!" and set it down on the bed.
Knowing he would not be able to sleep for awhile, he got up and walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He stuck his head under the faucet and let the cold water run over his neck for a second. Standing back up and reaching for the towel on the rack, he looked at himself in the mirror. A haunted face looked back at him, black circles under his eyes, white pale skin and clean shoulder-length black hair.
"Sordeo!" and a greasy sheen appeared over his hair; "Pallens!" and his white teeth took on a yellow cast. "Pallidus corium!" his skin took on a pallid, sallow almost ill look. There were times when he could hardly make himself play the part of a Deatheater anymore. He was so tired of it. There were times that he would return and retch in the bathroom for hours; the things he had to do to keep up the charade just sickened him. He did not know if he would ever be able to be rid of the feelings of disgust. He was loyal to Dumbledore, to the death even if he didn't always agree with him, which Dumbledore accepted, but Severus would always listen to him. The man had given him a second lease on life and forgiveness that Severus himself was unable to give. Just as the Dark Mark on his left arm would always be there. He pushed back his hair on the right side of his scalp and a thin pink scar was still there always reminding him, but at least he couldn't see all of the scars on his back that he knew were there. He let the hair fall back into place, growled low in his throat and walked back to his bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Running his hand through his hair to pull back the front of it, he grabbed his clothes, got dressed and grabbed his wand and his cloak as he walked out of the room.
Striding out of the front doors of the school, he hesitated as to which direction to walk, heard howling coming from an area of the dark forest and turned away from the sound to the cliffs above the lake. Pulling his wand out of his inside cloak pocket. "Aduro Volucris!" Fireflies gathered around his head and in front of him lighting his way. Eventually, he found himself on the other side of the school, on a cliff looking out over the water of the lake. "Exstinguo Volucris!" The fireflies flew away and he sat in darkness until the sun found him as it arose in the morning sky.
Chapter 1 Introductions.
Caliegh was finally here! She had never been to Hogwarts and for a good reason. She had received the letter from the Ministry only five days ago, asking her if she would be interested in a change of position. She had been working in the labs at St. Mungo's now for three years after specializing in potions at the Salem's School for Witchcraft in the States. The letter had merely stated that with Voldemort coming back to power they needed more Mediwitches, and had started a training program at Hogwarts. They had asked her to help coordinate the program using potions and medical wizardry of both Madame Pomfrey and Professor Snape. She had literally jumped through her skin at the opportunity to work, actually work with Professor Severus Snape! She had studied many of his papers during her studies at Salem. Her Potions Master, Professor Nereys had always spoken very highly of Professor Snape's expertise in the field. She had asked her Grandfather what Snape was like and all he would say was that she should make that determination herself.
She checked her appearance in her hand mirror. Letting her knee-length auburn hair down and retwisting it back into a knot at the nape of her neck, putting a holding charm on it, and then wiping the dust off of her face, she stepped out of the horseless carriage. She left her luggage and entered through the front doors. Even though she had never been there, she knew the outlay of the school as if she had. She headed straight for Headmaster Dumbledore's office. At the gargoyle statue she said "Pineapple Upside Down Cake" and the statue opened for her, she as heard the picture next to the statue chuckle. She entered into the foyer then straight to the circular staircase. As she stood there waiting for it to carry her up to the Headmaster's main office, she wondered if their reunion would be solitary or if others would be there. She had best address him as Headmaster just to be safe.
She walked to the door and knocked. "Yes, Severus, you may come in," came the answer. Caleigh smiled as she opened the door, replying: "Well, I am pretty positive I am not Severus, and I doubt very much I would ever be able to double for him, but I can't wait to meet the man!" The smile in her voice also told Albus how glad she was to see him again. As she walked over to her Grandfather, she looked around his office. Nothing had really changed. The paintings of former Headmasters were still there, and all the gadgets that Albus had accumulated over the years. She turned slightly to her right and saw Fawkes preening his tail feathers. "Hello Fawkes" she greeted the phoenix, as Fawkes broke out in a song in greeting.
Albus Dumbledore was engrossed in some papers and did not see her at first. As soon as he heard her voice though, he rose quickly and came over to her. As he put his arms around her in an embrace he said "Caleigh-girl, how I've missed you!"
"I have missed you too, Grandfather!" She returned his embrace.
"You must be careful addressing me as such, you know," he replied.
"I know, but if there had been anyone here you would not have hugged me so either." She came back with a smile.
He let go of her and went to the fireplace, "This is true. You've had a long trip, would you like some tea?"
"Oh, yes that would be wonderful!" she answered gratefully as she walked over and sat in the chair facing him. "So tell me, what is Professor Snape really like?"
"Well, I think you need to make your own assessment of him. Believe me you will get to know him quite well I think" he replied, smiling. His eyes had that all to familiar twinkle that hinted at downright mischieviousness in them.
"Are you still trying to play matchmaker? You know my only interest in him is professional", she said laughing. He had been trying to set her up with someone ever since she graduated, albeit his efforts had been half-hearted.
"I know your interest is merely professional and no, I don't think I need to make any effort in that area this time," he replied with a twinkle in his eye.
"Okay", she thought to herself, "what sort of man is this anyway?" She sipped the tea he had given her while the table disappeared beneath a tray of biscuits and crackers. She helped herself to one of the chocolate biscuits.
A knock on the door was heard. "Enter please Severus." Dumbledore called. Caleigh heard the door open, although her back was to it, she did not see the man come striding through with a purpose.
"Headmaster, I must insist that I return quickly. I'm in the middle of preparing a potion, and I must gauge it very carefully. Could this not have waited?" Dumbledore had summoned him without giving him a chance to explain that, and though his irritation was not as high as usual, as the students were not due to arrive for almost three weeks, he was still not happy about being called away. He did not see the woman sitting in the chair.
"No, it cannot. I wish to introduce you to someone, Severus. This is Caleigh Crawford, the assistant professor that the Ministry has chosen to help with the training program of the Mediwitches. Caleigh, I would like you to meet Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts." As he spoke, Caleigh rose from the chair and looked up smiling at Severus. She could not believe she was finally meeting the brilliant Potions Master she had studied so much in class!
If he could get any paler than he already was, he would have. Severus turned about four shades of gray when he first looked into her eyes. He could not move, nor could he look away for quite a few seconds. He could not believe it, just this very morning he saw these eyes in his dream. He had never met this woman before to his active memory, but he could not physically make his eyes move away, they were locked with hers.
Caleigh stood there for a second not knowing why she was getting such a strong reaction from this man, and then to overcome her nervousness and the uncomfortable silence hanging in the air, "How do you do, Professor? It's nice to meet you." Holding out her hand, she waited patiently. What she saw was a thin man, tall with long lanky hair down to his shoulders, and sallow pallid skin. His eyes were dark, black in fact and with a deepness that she was not able to fathom. He did not exactly fit what she expected, but then she never knew exactly what she did expect.
When Severus' hand went to hers, his hand was slender with a strength she could feel, but he was trembling, mirroring his reaction to her and catching her totally off guard.
Severus gave himself an almost visible shake as he put his hand into hers. "I'm sure you are, but for how long, that will be up to you." He said throatily trying to cover his discomfiture, and being taken so totally off guard. He was feeling like he was going to totally lose control, he turned to Albus and said softly, almost choking, "May I leave now?"
If Caleigh's jaw could have dropped, it would have, but she managed to retain her dignity at such a retort. She didn't say a word in response. This was not what she expected, such a rude man! As Albus responded to his question she returned to her seat.
Albus watched him carefully, very concerned at his reaction and not understanding why, "Severus please, this young lady has traveled a very long distance, partially to meet you and I am sure she would like to rest for a bit. Have a seat for just a few moments."
Severus walked very determinedly to the chair next to Caleigh. He dared not look at her. He could not get her eyes out of his mind though. His dream kept replaying itself, always ending with those eyes, looking at him with an expression of.he had never actually put an emotion to them before.but there was an expression in them, of caring or concern? The conversation wafted over him, without him actually knowing what was being said.
Caleigh watched him out of the corner of her eye. He looked very preoccupied and seemed to be completely unaware of her presence.
"Severus.. Severus? Professor Snape." Severus finally looked over at the Headmaster. "Would you please show Miss Crawford to her quarters? She has requested that she be down near your office as to make it more convenient for the tasks at hand. I would like her in the rooms next to yours." Albus continued to watch him carefully.
"Yes, of course, Headmaster." Was the uncharacteristically agreeable answer. Severus was still in shock and extremely uncomfortable and therefore in no shape to argue whatsoever.
Severus stood and waited for Caleigh to rise. "This way, Miss Crawford" holding out his hand to allow her to go first. As they left Dumbledore's office, Caleigh tried to ease the moment and made some attempts at light conversation, and failed miserably. They continued down the steps and the long corridor to her rooms in silence.
Severus walked a step behind her, taking her elbow to guide her as necessary. His mind was intent on trying to understand what had just happened. The thought that the eyes from his dream actually belonged to another human being had never crossed his mind. He had assumed they were one boy's way of conjuring up something for comfort. He had to dispel this feeling of not being in control, and the only way he could was by relying on his old standard "I want you to know right up front, Miss Crawford, that I argued against your coming to Hogwarts. I do not need another student to topple over cauldrons full of extremely volatile potions, or to catch my room on fire, or to." Severus started.
"Excuse me, Professor?" Caleigh could not believe what she was hearing. Yes she understood that she was new and the youngest of the professors, but to treat her this way was just uncalled for and she for one would not put up with it! "I want YOU to know right up front that I am NOT a student just out of school! And I want you to know that I graduated at the top of my class, AND I spent the last year in school in independent study because I'd already passed all of the normal school courses! So if you think that you'll be baby-sitting me, you'll be sadly mistaken! Thank you very much and Goodnight Professor." With that, Caleigh's stride took her in front of him in a whoosh of air and she strode into her rooms without looking back.
"I will wait and make that decision when I see it." he shot the reply at her back as Severus stood with eyes narrowed as he watched Caleigh walk away from him. He had to cover his thoughts. "This wench is one the most pedantic, insolent, impudent, ill-tempered women, and I have to deal with THIS? As if I have the time.." shaking his head ever so slightly. "Where DID Dumbledore find her at?" he thought as he began to head towards his quarters. It had been a very long day and a short night of it last night. He went in and checked on his potion in the cauldron. He had made it just in time. He went to the cabinet and pulled out the next few ingredients and began preparing them. He decided that to keep busy right now would be the best way to extricate her from his thoughts, but of course it didn't work. He just could not get this woman out of his mind, between her strong- willed, stubborn personality and "Those eyes, those damn eyes!" as he slammed the knife flat on the tabletop with a resounding SMACK. As he worked, he calmed down some and he began to take another line of thought. This just might be a rather nice distraction. Apparently she is one that just might be able to match wits with him, from his initial assessment. If first impressions were anything, she was fairly intelligent, she had a sharp-tongue and a quick wit and that was something he found he liked once he got over being angry. "This might be rather interesting!"
As Caleigh made her way through the doors to her room, there were boxes and trunks everywhere. She had a lot of work to do getting her quarters settled.
"I'm not sure I'm going to like that man!" She thought to herself as she began to get busy unpacking. "Grace tried to warn me that with his reputation he might have an ego the size of a soccer field! I guess she might be right!" Sighing to herself, the first thing she did was find her tape player and set it on the mantelpiece. "Moderer pax!" It began to play Gabrielli. As the music began to soothe the edges of her mood, she started working. "Aduro!" She set a fire in the hearth to take the chill out of the air. With a wave of her wand, the moving boxes lifted and levitated from one room to the next in readiness to get unpacked. She opened the door into her office and went in to look around. It was a little on the small side, but it would suffice. There was another door on the opposite wall, she opened that door and stuck her head through."Yes, thank you Grandfather!" She whispered to no one in particular. The room in here was already furnished with cabinets, a large cauldron and many of the instruments she would need to do her own potion making. In actuality, though she was as yet unaware, it was an exact duplicate of Snape's lab. As she worked, she lost track of the time.
When Severus opened his lab door to cross the hall to his chambers, he saw the light on down the hall from under Caleigh's door. He faintly heard music playing from that direction.
In an impulsive moment (surprising himself as well, as he is not the sort to have impulsive moments), but seeing as he had not been the most courteous on their first meeting, he went to her door and knocked. "Come!" came the reply from inside.
Severus opened the door and stepped inside and was taken aback with the amount of work she had accomplished in a rather short amount of time. There was a dark teal green carpet down on the floor with teal and silver bed curtains hanging off the bed frame. The quilt on the bed looked to be very old, but very well taken care of. On the walls were paintings of ocean, forest and mountain. Each one had a large cougar in one pose or another, and some pieces that some Native American friends she had met painted for her. Over the mantel hung the largest painting, which her Grandfather had given her, one of a waterfall in a forest setting, charmed so that the water was falling and you could hear the water as it hit the pool below. There was a cougar partially hidden as if coming out of its lair behind the waterfall. There were two comfortable looking overstuffed chairs, a table with a chess game set up on it between them in front of the fireplace and fresh flowers in a vase on each of the bedside tables. The walls had been painted over the stone work, a warm cream color that balanced the cool effect of the teal. There were low bookshelves along each wall, each one filled with books of all shapes and sizes. He thought "At least we agree on the importance of reference material! She also plays chess! There may be more to this woman than meets the eye..."
"It's time for supper, and I thought I would escort you, if you should want." He said rather pretentiously, his voice was rather stiff and had a bit of chill to it. He was unaccustomed to a younger person taking such an insubordinate attitude. However, he found that he rather enjoyed the challenge, after all she had not been a student of his and from what he could tell she was only about ten years younger, close enough that he could consider her a peer. She was going to challenge him and he rather looked forward to the word play. It had been some time since he had found someone this close to his age, with the intelligence to match wits with him. Snape would have much rather eaten in his rooms as was his want usually, but since this woman was of some importance to Dumbledore apparently, he had decided that he should at least make an effort. He was also intrigued enough to want to find out more about her.
Caleigh quickly thought to herself that if he was going to resent her presence this could be a rather long tenure. "Yes, Professor, thank you. I would very much appreciate it." She answered with the same stiffness to her voice in response to his tone. "However, before we go might I ask your advice, if you have a moment?" At this, Snape was rather caught off guard, but pleased that she would acknowledge his experience, and superiority. "Maybe this would work to soften things".she thought. "Could you come with me for a second please?" She was extending her arm out towards her office door.
"Yes, we have time if you insist." Severus replied grudgingly, as he followed her around all the boxes, both empty and full. As they went through her office he saw again shelves from floor to ceiling again of books, but also some interesting specimens in jars of liquid, all different colors. Some he recognized at a glance, others were not so familiar to him. In contrast to this, she had a beautiful still painting of a floral arrangement of roses and a tea set arranged in the foreground on the wall directly behind her desk. Other paintings of different stills were on the walls as he passed. One in particular was a Muggle bottle of wine, a wineglass and a single red rose in a small vase. It looked as if you could actually pick them right out of the painting. As they entered her lab, here the boxes had been emptied, but bottles were sitting out everywhere. He thought rather caustically, "Headmaster, this woman had best be worth all this attention and know her business!"
"As you can see, I tried to come prepared, not being sure what would be available locally. Would you be please help me? I need to arrange the bottles in order to make the most efficient use of the preservatives. My question is which walls are dampest, and which ones are driest? Also what hours of the day does the sun shine through the window?" Caleigh explained to the Professor. She was also hoping that her strategy might work, at least a little.
"Not quite so all knowing are we?" his voice a deep brown velvet, but the ever present chill was there. "If you really need to ask, then you have quite a bit to learn, don't you? Since you have asked however, I would put your nocturnal specimens against the far wall, right underneath the window. That way the sun never hits them. The wet ones set up in this cabinet here," Severus is pointing to the cabinet next to him. "The dry ones should go here as it is an inside wall and the driest. Hmmm, yes, that should do fine." Mainly out of curiosity, he began to pick up bottles and set them in the cabinets that he pointed out to her. He did this manually so that he might look at the labels, as opposed to accomplishing this by magic. His level of irritation seemed to dissipate somewhat as he satisfied his curiosity and set them down. "You do have an impressive variety, some of these are very difficult to get. Are some of these from the States?" He actually was honestly impressed at what he had seen so far. "Maybe Dumbledore was not all wrong after all.," he thought to himself.
Totally ignoring his initial caustic remark, and surprised that he should actually help her put them up, especially by hand which is what she always preferred when handling her ingredients, she answered "Yes, they are. One of my professors has been very kind to send me any that she can, as I need them. Many of them are Native American ingredients I've learned about from Shamans of different tribes. I'd done some traveling my last year in independent studies. I found the magic of these peoples quite fascinating. One of the most fascinating concepts is that they don't hide from their "Muggles." They are in fact revered in many ways as opposed to being shunned as we are many times. I had collected a lot of these for use at St. Mungo's. I was working on some experimental potions, trying to make some of those I had seen in the tribes." she explained, setting the bottles in the precise order that she wanted.
They continued working together, though the conversation waned, surprisingly the tension even eased and it was a companionable silence. The fact that she was not one for unnecessary chit chat while she worked made this the most comfortable that she had been yet in his company. Caleigh found herself able to work around and with the man without any stumbling. Severus caught himself thinking that this might not be a bad idea at all, once again surprising himself. "What has come over me, am I getting soft?" was the thought that entered his mind right after.
Severus looked over at her; this had been the first chance he had had to observe her well without her knowing. His thoughts kept returning to the dream. He could not understand how she was connected to his dream. He had a feeling she was somehow. He hated having this sort of loss of control in someone's presence. He was always so distrustful of others, especially someone he had just met, but she seemed to be able to work with him well. "I will test that the first time we actually make potions together. At least she seems to know when to keep her mouth shut!" he decided. He watched her out of his peripheral vision as she worked. Her back was turned to him so she was not aware he was watching. Nothing unusual actually, she was physically attractive true, there were strands of her hair starting to fall down her back and he could tell that it was quite long, but other than that, nothing extraordinary except for her eyes of course. They were the eyes from his dream, and their familiarity was so disconcerting to him. He scowled again, as this thought crossed his mind. There was just something about her that seemed to break through his guard. He would have to watch himself carefully. Dumbledore seemed quite glad to have her here, but Severus did not always agree with the Headmaster's choices.
Many thanks to my Beta-readers: Lady Claudia, Ivy and Marianne!
Prologue
He was curled up in a ball, trying to make himself as small as possible, pain shooting through his insides and burning into his middle. Crying, hot tears running down his pale cheeks, "Father, no, please. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to spill the potion!"
He had tried to please his father, time and time again but he just never seemed to be able to get things good enough for him, especially since his mother died. She had passed away four years earlier from a lung condition that St. Mungo's could not heal. Ever since then, his father had made potions to sell to the storeowners at Hogsmeade for the little bit of money he was able to. He had let his own store of 'Herbs, Supplies and Potions' go under when he took to drinking the Muggle alcohol drinks. They barely scraped a living out of what he was able to make. He would make Severus go out and gather what he could in the wild regardless of weather conditions or where the plants grew. When his father was not brewing potions, he was drinking their sickles and galleons away. Many times Severus had gone days without eating, other than any edible berries he found while out gathering.
"Look, boy! I have told you over and over to walk on THIS side of the cauldron." His father yelled as he flung his wand out and pointed it at him again. "This will be the last batch you ruin in your miserable pitiful little life!"
He covered his head with his arms protectively, "Oh please someone, come help me!" he was crying in his mind, but feeling helpless and alone. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, with a roar, a huge cat leaped in through the window, breaking glass as it went, knocking his father down and interrupting the Cruciatus curse mid-sentence. Immediately upon landing the cat transfigured, "STOP! You will NOT hurt the child any longer!" He saw flashes of blue-white flames flying from the figure to his father. He could not keep his eyes open as the pain overcame him and everything went dark.
He awoke for an instant to two hands ever so gently shifting him into arms that seemed safe. He saw a pair of tawny brown eyes that looked like cat eyes. He wondered for an instant whom this was, but his eyes closed again with the pain. He hurt so much, he cried more tears with each movement. Then darkness came to him again.
He awoke suddenly, and with a start. Drenched with sweat, he looked around to get his bearings. "Damn! It's the third time this month!" he thought to himself. He hadn't had this dream since he was a teen. It happened quite often when he was growing up in the orphanage that he found himself in, but as he grew older it had diminished. Why it was showing up again after so long, he did not know.
He looked around his bedchambers in Hogwarts; the sparse furnishings were coldly comforting in their familiarity. Then he remembered that the Headmaster had asked Madame Pomfrey in early this year to begin working with him on a 'special project' as he had called it. Snape of course, was at the school already. He lived there during the holidays as well. It was one of the few places that he had ever felt any security, especially after the years of being an active Deatheater for Voldemort. When he had left and come to Dumbledore and told him everything, Dumbledore had immediately given him a set of permanent quarters at the school.
There were other professors early there as well, working on some other projects that Dumbledore had asked them to. Voldemort had intensified his efforts through the summer months at recruiting new Deatheaters and he knew they were getting ready for a battle. He had reported this back to Dumbledore just a short four weeks earlier after one of his excursions into the inner circle.
He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and glanced at the small window out of his room and saw that it was still dark outside. He picked up his wand. "Lumos!" and checked the clock on the mantel: 2:30 a.m. "Aduro!" He started a fire in the hearth and felt the warmth begin to reach him. He put his wand out "Exstinguo!" and set it down on the bed.
Knowing he would not be able to sleep for awhile, he got up and walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He stuck his head under the faucet and let the cold water run over his neck for a second. Standing back up and reaching for the towel on the rack, he looked at himself in the mirror. A haunted face looked back at him, black circles under his eyes, white pale skin and clean shoulder-length black hair.
"Sordeo!" and a greasy sheen appeared over his hair; "Pallens!" and his white teeth took on a yellow cast. "Pallidus corium!" his skin took on a pallid, sallow almost ill look. There were times when he could hardly make himself play the part of a Deatheater anymore. He was so tired of it. There were times that he would return and retch in the bathroom for hours; the things he had to do to keep up the charade just sickened him. He did not know if he would ever be able to be rid of the feelings of disgust. He was loyal to Dumbledore, to the death even if he didn't always agree with him, which Dumbledore accepted, but Severus would always listen to him. The man had given him a second lease on life and forgiveness that Severus himself was unable to give. Just as the Dark Mark on his left arm would always be there. He pushed back his hair on the right side of his scalp and a thin pink scar was still there always reminding him, but at least he couldn't see all of the scars on his back that he knew were there. He let the hair fall back into place, growled low in his throat and walked back to his bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Running his hand through his hair to pull back the front of it, he grabbed his clothes, got dressed and grabbed his wand and his cloak as he walked out of the room.
Striding out of the front doors of the school, he hesitated as to which direction to walk, heard howling coming from an area of the dark forest and turned away from the sound to the cliffs above the lake. Pulling his wand out of his inside cloak pocket. "Aduro Volucris!" Fireflies gathered around his head and in front of him lighting his way. Eventually, he found himself on the other side of the school, on a cliff looking out over the water of the lake. "Exstinguo Volucris!" The fireflies flew away and he sat in darkness until the sun found him as it arose in the morning sky.
Chapter 1 Introductions.
Caliegh was finally here! She had never been to Hogwarts and for a good reason. She had received the letter from the Ministry only five days ago, asking her if she would be interested in a change of position. She had been working in the labs at St. Mungo's now for three years after specializing in potions at the Salem's School for Witchcraft in the States. The letter had merely stated that with Voldemort coming back to power they needed more Mediwitches, and had started a training program at Hogwarts. They had asked her to help coordinate the program using potions and medical wizardry of both Madame Pomfrey and Professor Snape. She had literally jumped through her skin at the opportunity to work, actually work with Professor Severus Snape! She had studied many of his papers during her studies at Salem. Her Potions Master, Professor Nereys had always spoken very highly of Professor Snape's expertise in the field. She had asked her Grandfather what Snape was like and all he would say was that she should make that determination herself.
She checked her appearance in her hand mirror. Letting her knee-length auburn hair down and retwisting it back into a knot at the nape of her neck, putting a holding charm on it, and then wiping the dust off of her face, she stepped out of the horseless carriage. She left her luggage and entered through the front doors. Even though she had never been there, she knew the outlay of the school as if she had. She headed straight for Headmaster Dumbledore's office. At the gargoyle statue she said "Pineapple Upside Down Cake" and the statue opened for her, she as heard the picture next to the statue chuckle. She entered into the foyer then straight to the circular staircase. As she stood there waiting for it to carry her up to the Headmaster's main office, she wondered if their reunion would be solitary or if others would be there. She had best address him as Headmaster just to be safe.
She walked to the door and knocked. "Yes, Severus, you may come in," came the answer. Caleigh smiled as she opened the door, replying: "Well, I am pretty positive I am not Severus, and I doubt very much I would ever be able to double for him, but I can't wait to meet the man!" The smile in her voice also told Albus how glad she was to see him again. As she walked over to her Grandfather, she looked around his office. Nothing had really changed. The paintings of former Headmasters were still there, and all the gadgets that Albus had accumulated over the years. She turned slightly to her right and saw Fawkes preening his tail feathers. "Hello Fawkes" she greeted the phoenix, as Fawkes broke out in a song in greeting.
Albus Dumbledore was engrossed in some papers and did not see her at first. As soon as he heard her voice though, he rose quickly and came over to her. As he put his arms around her in an embrace he said "Caleigh-girl, how I've missed you!"
"I have missed you too, Grandfather!" She returned his embrace.
"You must be careful addressing me as such, you know," he replied.
"I know, but if there had been anyone here you would not have hugged me so either." She came back with a smile.
He let go of her and went to the fireplace, "This is true. You've had a long trip, would you like some tea?"
"Oh, yes that would be wonderful!" she answered gratefully as she walked over and sat in the chair facing him. "So tell me, what is Professor Snape really like?"
"Well, I think you need to make your own assessment of him. Believe me you will get to know him quite well I think" he replied, smiling. His eyes had that all to familiar twinkle that hinted at downright mischieviousness in them.
"Are you still trying to play matchmaker? You know my only interest in him is professional", she said laughing. He had been trying to set her up with someone ever since she graduated, albeit his efforts had been half-hearted.
"I know your interest is merely professional and no, I don't think I need to make any effort in that area this time," he replied with a twinkle in his eye.
"Okay", she thought to herself, "what sort of man is this anyway?" She sipped the tea he had given her while the table disappeared beneath a tray of biscuits and crackers. She helped herself to one of the chocolate biscuits.
A knock on the door was heard. "Enter please Severus." Dumbledore called. Caleigh heard the door open, although her back was to it, she did not see the man come striding through with a purpose.
"Headmaster, I must insist that I return quickly. I'm in the middle of preparing a potion, and I must gauge it very carefully. Could this not have waited?" Dumbledore had summoned him without giving him a chance to explain that, and though his irritation was not as high as usual, as the students were not due to arrive for almost three weeks, he was still not happy about being called away. He did not see the woman sitting in the chair.
"No, it cannot. I wish to introduce you to someone, Severus. This is Caleigh Crawford, the assistant professor that the Ministry has chosen to help with the training program of the Mediwitches. Caleigh, I would like you to meet Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts." As he spoke, Caleigh rose from the chair and looked up smiling at Severus. She could not believe she was finally meeting the brilliant Potions Master she had studied so much in class!
If he could get any paler than he already was, he would have. Severus turned about four shades of gray when he first looked into her eyes. He could not move, nor could he look away for quite a few seconds. He could not believe it, just this very morning he saw these eyes in his dream. He had never met this woman before to his active memory, but he could not physically make his eyes move away, they were locked with hers.
Caleigh stood there for a second not knowing why she was getting such a strong reaction from this man, and then to overcome her nervousness and the uncomfortable silence hanging in the air, "How do you do, Professor? It's nice to meet you." Holding out her hand, she waited patiently. What she saw was a thin man, tall with long lanky hair down to his shoulders, and sallow pallid skin. His eyes were dark, black in fact and with a deepness that she was not able to fathom. He did not exactly fit what she expected, but then she never knew exactly what she did expect.
When Severus' hand went to hers, his hand was slender with a strength she could feel, but he was trembling, mirroring his reaction to her and catching her totally off guard.
Severus gave himself an almost visible shake as he put his hand into hers. "I'm sure you are, but for how long, that will be up to you." He said throatily trying to cover his discomfiture, and being taken so totally off guard. He was feeling like he was going to totally lose control, he turned to Albus and said softly, almost choking, "May I leave now?"
If Caleigh's jaw could have dropped, it would have, but she managed to retain her dignity at such a retort. She didn't say a word in response. This was not what she expected, such a rude man! As Albus responded to his question she returned to her seat.
Albus watched him carefully, very concerned at his reaction and not understanding why, "Severus please, this young lady has traveled a very long distance, partially to meet you and I am sure she would like to rest for a bit. Have a seat for just a few moments."
Severus walked very determinedly to the chair next to Caleigh. He dared not look at her. He could not get her eyes out of his mind though. His dream kept replaying itself, always ending with those eyes, looking at him with an expression of.he had never actually put an emotion to them before.but there was an expression in them, of caring or concern? The conversation wafted over him, without him actually knowing what was being said.
Caleigh watched him out of the corner of her eye. He looked very preoccupied and seemed to be completely unaware of her presence.
"Severus.. Severus? Professor Snape." Severus finally looked over at the Headmaster. "Would you please show Miss Crawford to her quarters? She has requested that she be down near your office as to make it more convenient for the tasks at hand. I would like her in the rooms next to yours." Albus continued to watch him carefully.
"Yes, of course, Headmaster." Was the uncharacteristically agreeable answer. Severus was still in shock and extremely uncomfortable and therefore in no shape to argue whatsoever.
Severus stood and waited for Caleigh to rise. "This way, Miss Crawford" holding out his hand to allow her to go first. As they left Dumbledore's office, Caleigh tried to ease the moment and made some attempts at light conversation, and failed miserably. They continued down the steps and the long corridor to her rooms in silence.
Severus walked a step behind her, taking her elbow to guide her as necessary. His mind was intent on trying to understand what had just happened. The thought that the eyes from his dream actually belonged to another human being had never crossed his mind. He had assumed they were one boy's way of conjuring up something for comfort. He had to dispel this feeling of not being in control, and the only way he could was by relying on his old standard "I want you to know right up front, Miss Crawford, that I argued against your coming to Hogwarts. I do not need another student to topple over cauldrons full of extremely volatile potions, or to catch my room on fire, or to." Severus started.
"Excuse me, Professor?" Caleigh could not believe what she was hearing. Yes she understood that she was new and the youngest of the professors, but to treat her this way was just uncalled for and she for one would not put up with it! "I want YOU to know right up front that I am NOT a student just out of school! And I want you to know that I graduated at the top of my class, AND I spent the last year in school in independent study because I'd already passed all of the normal school courses! So if you think that you'll be baby-sitting me, you'll be sadly mistaken! Thank you very much and Goodnight Professor." With that, Caleigh's stride took her in front of him in a whoosh of air and she strode into her rooms without looking back.
"I will wait and make that decision when I see it." he shot the reply at her back as Severus stood with eyes narrowed as he watched Caleigh walk away from him. He had to cover his thoughts. "This wench is one the most pedantic, insolent, impudent, ill-tempered women, and I have to deal with THIS? As if I have the time.." shaking his head ever so slightly. "Where DID Dumbledore find her at?" he thought as he began to head towards his quarters. It had been a very long day and a short night of it last night. He went in and checked on his potion in the cauldron. He had made it just in time. He went to the cabinet and pulled out the next few ingredients and began preparing them. He decided that to keep busy right now would be the best way to extricate her from his thoughts, but of course it didn't work. He just could not get this woman out of his mind, between her strong- willed, stubborn personality and "Those eyes, those damn eyes!" as he slammed the knife flat on the tabletop with a resounding SMACK. As he worked, he calmed down some and he began to take another line of thought. This just might be a rather nice distraction. Apparently she is one that just might be able to match wits with him, from his initial assessment. If first impressions were anything, she was fairly intelligent, she had a sharp-tongue and a quick wit and that was something he found he liked once he got over being angry. "This might be rather interesting!"
As Caleigh made her way through the doors to her room, there were boxes and trunks everywhere. She had a lot of work to do getting her quarters settled.
"I'm not sure I'm going to like that man!" She thought to herself as she began to get busy unpacking. "Grace tried to warn me that with his reputation he might have an ego the size of a soccer field! I guess she might be right!" Sighing to herself, the first thing she did was find her tape player and set it on the mantelpiece. "Moderer pax!" It began to play Gabrielli. As the music began to soothe the edges of her mood, she started working. "Aduro!" She set a fire in the hearth to take the chill out of the air. With a wave of her wand, the moving boxes lifted and levitated from one room to the next in readiness to get unpacked. She opened the door into her office and went in to look around. It was a little on the small side, but it would suffice. There was another door on the opposite wall, she opened that door and stuck her head through."Yes, thank you Grandfather!" She whispered to no one in particular. The room in here was already furnished with cabinets, a large cauldron and many of the instruments she would need to do her own potion making. In actuality, though she was as yet unaware, it was an exact duplicate of Snape's lab. As she worked, she lost track of the time.
When Severus opened his lab door to cross the hall to his chambers, he saw the light on down the hall from under Caleigh's door. He faintly heard music playing from that direction.
In an impulsive moment (surprising himself as well, as he is not the sort to have impulsive moments), but seeing as he had not been the most courteous on their first meeting, he went to her door and knocked. "Come!" came the reply from inside.
Severus opened the door and stepped inside and was taken aback with the amount of work she had accomplished in a rather short amount of time. There was a dark teal green carpet down on the floor with teal and silver bed curtains hanging off the bed frame. The quilt on the bed looked to be very old, but very well taken care of. On the walls were paintings of ocean, forest and mountain. Each one had a large cougar in one pose or another, and some pieces that some Native American friends she had met painted for her. Over the mantel hung the largest painting, which her Grandfather had given her, one of a waterfall in a forest setting, charmed so that the water was falling and you could hear the water as it hit the pool below. There was a cougar partially hidden as if coming out of its lair behind the waterfall. There were two comfortable looking overstuffed chairs, a table with a chess game set up on it between them in front of the fireplace and fresh flowers in a vase on each of the bedside tables. The walls had been painted over the stone work, a warm cream color that balanced the cool effect of the teal. There were low bookshelves along each wall, each one filled with books of all shapes and sizes. He thought "At least we agree on the importance of reference material! She also plays chess! There may be more to this woman than meets the eye..."
"It's time for supper, and I thought I would escort you, if you should want." He said rather pretentiously, his voice was rather stiff and had a bit of chill to it. He was unaccustomed to a younger person taking such an insubordinate attitude. However, he found that he rather enjoyed the challenge, after all she had not been a student of his and from what he could tell she was only about ten years younger, close enough that he could consider her a peer. She was going to challenge him and he rather looked forward to the word play. It had been some time since he had found someone this close to his age, with the intelligence to match wits with him. Snape would have much rather eaten in his rooms as was his want usually, but since this woman was of some importance to Dumbledore apparently, he had decided that he should at least make an effort. He was also intrigued enough to want to find out more about her.
Caleigh quickly thought to herself that if he was going to resent her presence this could be a rather long tenure. "Yes, Professor, thank you. I would very much appreciate it." She answered with the same stiffness to her voice in response to his tone. "However, before we go might I ask your advice, if you have a moment?" At this, Snape was rather caught off guard, but pleased that she would acknowledge his experience, and superiority. "Maybe this would work to soften things".she thought. "Could you come with me for a second please?" She was extending her arm out towards her office door.
"Yes, we have time if you insist." Severus replied grudgingly, as he followed her around all the boxes, both empty and full. As they went through her office he saw again shelves from floor to ceiling again of books, but also some interesting specimens in jars of liquid, all different colors. Some he recognized at a glance, others were not so familiar to him. In contrast to this, she had a beautiful still painting of a floral arrangement of roses and a tea set arranged in the foreground on the wall directly behind her desk. Other paintings of different stills were on the walls as he passed. One in particular was a Muggle bottle of wine, a wineglass and a single red rose in a small vase. It looked as if you could actually pick them right out of the painting. As they entered her lab, here the boxes had been emptied, but bottles were sitting out everywhere. He thought rather caustically, "Headmaster, this woman had best be worth all this attention and know her business!"
"As you can see, I tried to come prepared, not being sure what would be available locally. Would you be please help me? I need to arrange the bottles in order to make the most efficient use of the preservatives. My question is which walls are dampest, and which ones are driest? Also what hours of the day does the sun shine through the window?" Caleigh explained to the Professor. She was also hoping that her strategy might work, at least a little.
"Not quite so all knowing are we?" his voice a deep brown velvet, but the ever present chill was there. "If you really need to ask, then you have quite a bit to learn, don't you? Since you have asked however, I would put your nocturnal specimens against the far wall, right underneath the window. That way the sun never hits them. The wet ones set up in this cabinet here," Severus is pointing to the cabinet next to him. "The dry ones should go here as it is an inside wall and the driest. Hmmm, yes, that should do fine." Mainly out of curiosity, he began to pick up bottles and set them in the cabinets that he pointed out to her. He did this manually so that he might look at the labels, as opposed to accomplishing this by magic. His level of irritation seemed to dissipate somewhat as he satisfied his curiosity and set them down. "You do have an impressive variety, some of these are very difficult to get. Are some of these from the States?" He actually was honestly impressed at what he had seen so far. "Maybe Dumbledore was not all wrong after all.," he thought to himself.
Totally ignoring his initial caustic remark, and surprised that he should actually help her put them up, especially by hand which is what she always preferred when handling her ingredients, she answered "Yes, they are. One of my professors has been very kind to send me any that she can, as I need them. Many of them are Native American ingredients I've learned about from Shamans of different tribes. I'd done some traveling my last year in independent studies. I found the magic of these peoples quite fascinating. One of the most fascinating concepts is that they don't hide from their "Muggles." They are in fact revered in many ways as opposed to being shunned as we are many times. I had collected a lot of these for use at St. Mungo's. I was working on some experimental potions, trying to make some of those I had seen in the tribes." she explained, setting the bottles in the precise order that she wanted.
They continued working together, though the conversation waned, surprisingly the tension even eased and it was a companionable silence. The fact that she was not one for unnecessary chit chat while she worked made this the most comfortable that she had been yet in his company. Caleigh found herself able to work around and with the man without any stumbling. Severus caught himself thinking that this might not be a bad idea at all, once again surprising himself. "What has come over me, am I getting soft?" was the thought that entered his mind right after.
Severus looked over at her; this had been the first chance he had had to observe her well without her knowing. His thoughts kept returning to the dream. He could not understand how she was connected to his dream. He had a feeling she was somehow. He hated having this sort of loss of control in someone's presence. He was always so distrustful of others, especially someone he had just met, but she seemed to be able to work with him well. "I will test that the first time we actually make potions together. At least she seems to know when to keep her mouth shut!" he decided. He watched her out of his peripheral vision as she worked. Her back was turned to him so she was not aware he was watching. Nothing unusual actually, she was physically attractive true, there were strands of her hair starting to fall down her back and he could tell that it was quite long, but other than that, nothing extraordinary except for her eyes of course. They were the eyes from his dream, and their familiarity was so disconcerting to him. He scowled again, as this thought crossed his mind. There was just something about her that seemed to break through his guard. He would have to watch himself carefully. Dumbledore seemed quite glad to have her here, but Severus did not always agree with the Headmaster's choices.