Feeling Human
A/N: (is that what you put when you want to say something? A/N? xD) Soo...this is my very first fic. I always read them but I never created an account or wrote anything. I'm not too happy with it, but I gave it my best shot. Wait, so what comes now? Is it like, a disclaimer or something? Because I think it's obvious I don't own VA. I don't know. Oh well, enjoy and don't be too harsh, though tips on helping me improve is always appreciated. :)
Summary: One shot. After Last Sacrifice, Rose's life is pretty much perfect, except for a few minor flaws, and there are a few things she misses. But there is just one thing she misses more than anything.
Velvety soft, cool, silky, every possible texture that can be only described as soft, comfortable, heavenly, even, was everything that my sheets and blankets were, at the moment. I was in an in-between state of sleep, just fading in and out, still in the world of sitting on a park bench with my deceased friend Mason eating hot dogs in a park, but aware enough to make out the sunlight streaming through the white sheer curtains. Sunlight. Something that appears quite often but at the same time I missed dearly. Back at the academy, when I was still on the elementary campus, I used to stay up late, just to see the light. I would sit by my window and watch the golden, or sometimes white, light dance on my hand and I'd put my face inside and enjoy the warmth it brought. I didn't do it for long, both the realization that I had school the next day and my attention span prevented me from doing that, but it was still nice when I did. It was night time for the Moroi world, so if I wanted to, I could have done what I did all those years ago: watch the light dance on my skin. I briefly thought that maybe I should stay in bed, that sleep was better, but I usually sleep the through the whole night – if Dimitri has intentions of only sleeping, that is – so when I wake, the world is still dark. I also didn't want Dimitri questioning me if I refused to sleep at a regular time – who, speaking of, is lightly snoring, and murmuring in his sleep, too low for me to make anything noteworthy out. My reason for staying up later is just too strange for me to tell him. So I slowly wiggle out from under his arm which is draped across my waist, and make my way over to the window bench we have in our apartment in the Moroi Court. I turn for a moment, when I'm halfway there and just gaze at Dimitri's sleeping form, and I practically start shaking in gratitude towards whatever being helped me, against all odds, get him back by my side. Then, leaving him to his rest, I finish my way to the window and sit down on the bench, loving the how warm it is from sitting in the sun. The sun covers the whole bench, and with a ghost of a smile on my face, I lean my head back and soak up the wonderful warmth—
"Rose?" Dimitri's light Russian accent that I've swooned over time and time again carries through the room, his voice thick from sleep.
"Did I wake you? Sorry." I said and turned to look outside, to see the sky blue, for once, instead of black.
"Why are you up? Are you alright?" He starts to get up, but I gesture for him to stay down.
"I'm fine, go back to sleep. You have a shift in a few hours." I stretch and yawn. I roll my eyes as he, of course, ignores my demand and joins me on the bench.
"You have a shift too. I'm not sleeping unless you're sleeping with me. Why are you up?" Once he knows nothing's wrong, his voice turns carefree and slightly amused. Who wouldn't be, to see me sprawled out on a bench like a cat?
"If you wanted me to sleep with you, all you had to do was ask." I waggle my eyebrows suggestively.
"Rose." His tone tells me to stop fooling around. I snort and roll my eyes again.
"I woke up and wanted to look outside since it's bright out. Happy?" I rushed out.
"Because...it's bright out?" he asked, confused. I decided then and there to just tell him everything, because if I didn't, he would probably just guess it anyways.
"I miss the sun. I know you do too. But, God, I just miss it so much. Night is amazing in its own way, you know? It's mysterious and enchanting and the stars burn so bright. But, sometimes, I just want day. I want everything to be busy and happy and carefree. I want no shadows where things hide and wait and hunt. I want things to have colour and brightness and just shine. I want to see things sparkle. I want—I—I want—" I put my hands in my hair and on my scalp in frustration. I just couldn't fully fathom in my head why I suddenly craved the light so bad, so it was only adding to my increasing frustration when I had to put it into words.
"To feel human. Except for the crime and violence and drugs, the human world is so carefree and happy. They can do things like go to the beach; have a picnic in the sunlight, all sorts of things. We—we're part human, and want the light, want the innocent aspect of it, need it. It's a necessity. But our duty is to protect the Moroi. We have to bend our own needs and wants to accommodate theirs, and they don't like sunlight. It's sad, I know, Rose, to give up something that we love so much, but it's something we have to do. Yes, we could always stay up later to see it, but our lives? Everything takes place in the night. We could take a stroll on a night where we know we don't have any shifts the next day, but now? We need to sleep. We can't stop what we need to do because we miss the light. I understand how you feel, I feel it too. What dhamphir doesn't? But if I promise you a night where we'll be able to feel the warmth we want, some other time, will you come to bed? We do have shifts in the morning." He explained. I guess that was it, he figured it out before I did. Of course he did, he knew me so well. Sometimes better then myself.
"I'll sleep soon, I'll promise, but can I just stay up for five more minutes? It's already so warm, and I still have a few hours of sleep left. My shift isn't until seven and it's three. I have time, and I want to use a bit more of it on this bench. Okay?" I reasoned. I didn't want to leave this comfortable spot, but I knew I would have to.
"Okay, but I'm staying up with you." Dimitri said.
I laughed, "You say that as if it's a bad thing, Comrade."
Dimitri shook his head, but smiled.
We ended up staying awake until the sun started to set, losing ourselves sometimes in our conversation, or comfortable silences with our heads thrown back and our eyes closed. And I decided that, even when it seemed that only the sun would make me happy, and the warmth was the best feeling in the world; it was the time I was able to spend doing something carefree that made me so wonderfully happy and made me feel all sorts of amazing things. But with Dimitri here, soaking up the light with me, far away from Strigoi and Moroi politics, I know that no feeling could ever compare to feeling wholly, totally and completely human.