Author's Note: When asked recently how I knew if I could make a couple work, I was stumped. How did we as authors KNOW when we could make it work? Especailly the very out there non-canon types? Then it hit me. Close your eyes and imagine your couple is sitting on the couch, doing nothing but arguing over the remote. Does it seem plausible? Then you can write it!
Disclaimer: Nope, I own nothing but the plot!
Draco looked over at Hermione with a smug smirk on his lips. She quirked her eyebrow as she entered her living room. It was nice to have her parents out of town so she and Draco could have some alone time. It was even nicer that they didn't know about so she hadn't heard all of their 'lovely' talks about how they trusted her – just not him.
"What is the look all about Malfoy? Don't tell me you finally figured out the DVD player?" she teased plopping next to him on the couch with a smirk she had picked up from him. He just snarled in the direction of her home entertainment system.
"That bloody thing hates me. And no, I finally figured out why you Muggles love this television thing so much. Channel surfing." He said with a grin as she stole some popcorn of the tray of goodies.
"Draco Malfoy, we are NOT channeling surfing all night. There is no way!" Hermione huffed stealing the remote and finding the local movie channel, "Besides Casablanca is on."
Draco rolled his eyes as he tried to get more comfortable, "Tell me again why we are here and not out in wizarding London dancing the night away?"
"Because if we did that separately there would be no issue. If we do it together all of our friends would still go wonky and try to hex one or the both of us into next Wednesday. Do you want to be hexed into next Wednesday?" Hermione relied slowly as if speaking to a small slow child.
"But non of your friends could do any damage anyway… So I say we risk it." He replied with a grin on his lips anticipating the blow that was to come. His girlfriend did not disappoint him but delivered a crushing blow with her pillow not two seconds after he finished speaking.
"Bite me Malfoy. And get your gitty hands off of me." She said stiffly.
"Gitty? And Wonky? What kind of language is it you speak Granger?" Draco said pulling her back against him and handing her a drink, pretending she wasn't stiff as a board in his arms.
"I speak perfectly clear English. I understand it is different from the Loutish you speak. But do try and prove your wits here love." She said in an overly perky tone and kissed him on the nose.
Silence reined as the movie began. Draco found himself immersed in the Bogart classic. The music and the glamour. Hermione lost herself in the face of love thwarted. The intrigue seemed to satisfy them both and without knowing it Hermione began to cry at the end. When Bogie put the woman of his heart on the plane and walked away into the mists she actually whimpered.
"You are not crying over this right?" Draco teased gently as he handed her a tissue and she tried to glare at him but could only grin.
"Okay, I cry at the end. Every bloody time I cry at the end. So what? You cry when we watch Dumbo and they lock his mother up in the cage." She shot back with a smirk in his general direction.
"Blasphemy woman! Don't you know that we Malfoy's never cry. Ever." Draco said adopting his trademark air of arrogance.
To which she rolled her eyes, "Like when your dad cried at Aladdin when the evil wizard was destroyed?"
"Okay, but I am marking that up to the déjà vu factor of it all. Under normal circumstances we don't cry. And where do you think are going with that remote woman? We watched your movie. Now we watch something more masculine." Draco said lunging forward and seizing control of the remote once more.
"Uh, sweetie? The sad fact of the matter is – using my satellite dish to pick up America's TLC channel is not masculine. It's rather the opposite." She teasers trying to get it back by using her feminine wiles on her poor boyfriend. Who was very sadly intensely ticklish.
After several minutes of aggressive wrestling, hen several more of highly enjoyable snogging, Draco still retained control of the remote. Hermione gritted her teeth as she watched a rerun of 'Trading Spaces'. The decorating madness had to end! IT had to! Then she began to smirk. A smirk that normally would cause one to form on his face as well. She had started smirking in this ultra feminine way about two months into their relationship. Harry and Ron thought it was hilarious, at least they did now. At the time they had thought she was possessed.
Draco watched her smirk out of the corner of his eye and felt a shiver go down his spine. There was something about those damnably very kissable lips turned into a smirk that drove him crazy. He was used to smirking girls. He was the King of Slytherin for god's sakes! But when his girlfriend did it…she usually was dragged into the nearest broom closet. But there were no broom closets here. And he had to keep his wits about him or he would be forever lost in that one hell reserved for men in long term relationships. The one for men who gave into the puppy dog eyes of their lovers. The chick flick marathon. There would be no more sappy love stories today…nope! He was stronger than that! What was she doing…? Holy mother of the gods…
~
"That was not plying fair Granger." He said huffily two hours later as she channel surfed with her prize – the remote control.
"Is it my fault that flashing you renders you helpless?" she teased back snuggling in and kissing his chin.
"No, you don't get to steal from me and then turn me into the great human pillow. Move woman." Draco said in an irritated manner.
Hermione just looked at him with her big brown eyes and nodded sadly. She moved away slightly only to be pulled back a second later, "I thought you didn't want…"
"We have been together for two years and you choose NOW to start listening to me? You have the world's most atrocious timing woman." Draco muttered snuggling back under to covers with her, "But could we just watch some Monty Python already?"
"You just like the rabbits in the Holy Grail." Hermione muttered using another remote to turn on the DVD player.
"Well, it would be an ingenious way to take over the world…"
"Hush up Ferret boy."
"You wound me Mione…you really do."
"Want me to kiss it better?" she said turning in his arms. He smiled into her kiss.
"Took you love enough." he whispered softly.
"Shut up and kiss me you prat."
"Yes Ma'am!"
AN: This is just a short piece of fluff I wrote to pass the time in my History class! Hope you all like it. I rarely so one shots so we shall see if this stays one… What do you think? Read and Review as always!