Skywarp's Ultimate Prank
"Who did this?" screamed a loud voice reverberating along a hallway in Decepticon HQ and which startled a small gathering of Decepticons in one of the rooms.
The voice belonged to Hook who has just burst into the room seething with anger. His face had burnt marks and he was holding and indicating something in his right hand as he looked accusingly at each Decepticon in the room.
"Who did this!?" screamed he once more, again indicating the thing on his hand.
The startled looks of the Decepticons soon gave way to amusement and a chuckle here and there as Hook's rage began to look comical.
"Who sabotaged the brain module I was working on. It blew up," shouted Hook again, pointing once again to the thing. "It'll take weeks to fix it."
He looked accusingly at each Decepticon who each was protesting his innocence while smirking. One Decepticon, in particular, was having a very hard time protesting his innocence because he was laughing uncontrollably. It became obvious to Hook and to all present that he was the culprit.
"It was you! you!" screamed Hook at Skywarp.
Skywarp laughed even more, removing all pretense of innocence. Soon the other Decepticons joined him in laughing. Hook was annoyed at the constant laughter, not realizing that his rantings only contributed to it.
"You think this is funny?" ranted Hook some more. "What I do is important. What you do is nothing! You're all useless!"
That only made the Decepticons laugh some more. A frustrated Hook, realizing that he was not making some headway, turned his attention back to Skywarp.
"One of these days you will be in my lab," said Hook.
He then brightened up at the thought.
"Yeah! You will get injured some day and you will be in my lab. I'm going to remind you of what you did. You will be at my mercy."
Hook's threat had no effect. Skywarp brushed it off by laughing once more and the Decepticons joined him once again. Hook, dejected, stormed off in a huff, shooting a dirty look at Skywarp.
The Decepticons then turned to Skywarp who was still laughing the hardest of them all.
"It was you!" said a Decepticon, Rumble, at Skywarp. His exclamation was one of cheer, unlike Hook's.
Skywarp, still laughing, was in no condition to respond, only managing to nod his head as way of confirmation.
"That was a great gag," continued Rumble. "I think that was one of your best ones."
Other Decepticons began chiming in, either agreeing or not with the assessment.
"No, no, no," protested another Decepticon, Breakdown. "What he did to Motormaster was better. Remember that? He had that rock look like Optimus Prime."
He then imitated the voice of Optimus: "I, Optimus Prime, am stronger than you. I challenge you to hit me!"
Slamming his fist into his other hand, Breakdown continued with relish, his hatred of Motormaster evident in the tone of his voice. "Motormaster sure crashed into 'him.' He was in pieces!"
With that said, he laughed and the other Decepticons laughed with him.
"Yeah! that was the best one. Poor Motormaster didn't remember who he was!" chimed in Rumble.
Yet another round of laughter resumed.
"Yeah," said Skywarp, chuckling, "that was one of my best ones. Buzzaw helped me with that one. He carved a perfect image of Optimus from the rock. I painted him. I teleported behind the rock and I did the voice from a recording. Motormaster fell for it."
"It took him weeks to remember who he was," sighed Breakdown.
Another Decepticon chimed in on another Skywarp prank.
"I like the one you did to Astrotrain the best. You sawed off the supports under the bridge so that when he went over the bridge to pick up stuff and everything fell down and he went screaming to the ground and he went to pieces! Remember that scream? He screamed like a fembot."
He then imitated the shrill scream well enough to cause the Decepticons to laugh once again.
"Yeah," remembered Skywarp fondly. "Astrotrain screamed so much that he didn't have time to transform and fly!"
That caused yet another round of laughter.
One Decepticon then looked over at Thundercracker who responded with a dirty look.
"I like what you did to Thundercracker there. You sabotaged his guns so that when he went to target practice, they blew up. His arms caught on fire and he went screaming all the way outside. He jumped into the ocean. I remember that scream!"
The Decepticons then laughed yet again, except for Thundercracker obviously. He seethed instead.
Others took turns reminiscing on other pranks that Skywarp has pulled until they exhausted them. Then one of the Decepticons turned serious and asked Skywarp if he would be doing any further gags and to whom. That quieted the room and all heads turned to Skywarp, some with trepidation and some with menace.
Skywarp laughed at the suddenly quiet room.
"Yeah, I do have another gag! But don't worry. It'll be none of you. It's none of you."
Some sighs of relief could be heard.
"Who is the poor bot," asked one Decepticon excitedly.
"I can't tell you," cooed Skywarp while raising up to leave. "That'll ruin the surprise. But I can promise you it will be my best gag, the best one ever! better than Motormaster, better than Astrotrain, better than..." he raised his voice and motioned with his arms outward for dramatic impact, "... them all! It's going to be my ultimate prank!"
Skywarp then left the room, proudly hearing the cheers of the Decepticons left behind. He entered his private room still smirking at the prank on Hook. He still had Hook's raging face in his mind as he got to work on his next prank.
...
Not long after, Skywarp was resting in his private chamber about to undergo a shutdown state for the night when someone rang his room. Skywarp squinted through the peephole. It was a bipedal Recordicon, either Rumble or Frenzy. Skywarp keeps forgetting which of the twin Recordicons is which so he had written on his wall a simple acronym to remind him. The writing has long since faded but Skywarp could still make out "FIBRIR." Skywarp then beamed proudly that he now knows the identity of this robot on the other side of the door. The Recordicon rang again, more incessantly and started banging and shrieking.
"Open up! I want to talk to you! Open up!"
"Yes Frenzy?" said Skywarp. "Would you calm down? Is there something you want?"
"I want you to open the door!" shrieked Frenzy.
He motioned for the door to admit Frenzy but he should have known better. The incessant ringing and banging should have given Skywarp a clue that Frenzy was not in a good mood. This was because Frenzy craves action and violence. If he can't get it either by fighting the Autobots or the slimy Earthlings, he would manufacture some. As you have probably figured out, this was one of those times when there was a long lull of action. So, as soon as the door opened, Frenzy wasted no time storming inside and laid a roundhouse kick to Skywarp's chest.
"I better not be your next gag you're gonna pull!" shrieked Frenzy as a shocked Skywarp staggered back into the room from the impact.
Frenzy did not let up as he angrily charged after Skywarp. Fortunately for Skywarp, Frenzy, being a very small robot with very limited strength, did not have enough oomph from his roundhouse kick. So Skywarp was able to recover easily and angrily grabbed Frenzy's head stopping his charge at arm's length. Frenzy then started swinging at Skywarp futilely.
"I heard you're pulling another gag soon. I better not be your next gag!" shrieked Frenzy some more while ludicrously trying to use his head to bore through Skywarp's outstretched hand to get his hands at Skywarp's throat.
"It's not going to be you," taunted Skywarp, "but..."
Frenzy was not convinced or perhaps chose not to be convinced. Realizing he wasn't getting anywhere with an outstretched hand keeping him at bay, Frenzy activated the drums on his chest, producing a high-pitched and unidirectional sound at Skywarp. Skywarp collapsed to his knees, clutching his head in pain. He tried to drive out in vain what felt like needles stabbing into his CPU. Fortunately for him, Frenzy, uncharacteristically, stopped the drums, leaving Skywarp writhing on the floor still clutching his head, still alive.
"This is my one and only warning," shrieked Frenzy. "You better not be pulling a gag on me!"
Skywarp could not hear him as he was still trying to shake off the splitting pain in his head. Once he recollected his thoughts, he was going to attack Frenzy angrily. However, before that could happen, Frenzy exhibited a gentler mood.
"Who is it? Please tell me. I won't tell anyone. Please, please, please tell me who's your next gag."
The reminder of his planned prank removed the fresh resentment towards Frenzy's brazen assault as Skywarp immediately brightened up. He grinned and excitedly told but only a hint.
"It will be the top guy," said he. He then sang, "the very, very, very top, top, top guy."
Frenzy was annoyed at the hint and was going to ask, impolitely of course, for a straight answer before he realized that he may have figured out the hint after all.
"Megatron!?" shrieked he, not believing it was the right answer.
Skywarp grinned in confirmation. Then he got serious.
"You promised not to tell anyone," said he. "It's between you and me. You understand me? You better not tell anyone!"
Normally, Frenzy would use Skywarp's mild threat as an excuse to launch another attack but he was still in shock at the boldness of Skywarp picking this target.
"Megatron," whispered he but this time in acknowledgement.
Skywarp has never heard Frenzy whisper before. It unnerved him a little bit. Frenzy then recollected himself.
"Don't do it! not the Boss!" exclaimed he, back to his familiar shrieking voice.
Skywarp brushed him off with a smirk.
"Don't do it!" repeated Frenzy. "You would be crazy to do it. The Boss'll kill you! or worse! He used to slag Transformers for a living before he was the boss!"
Skywarp wasn't worried.
"I have an alibi. He won't know it was me."
"He'll know it was you! Don't do it!" Frenzy continued to insist.
Skywarp again brushed him off, keeping the same smirk all the while.
"You idiot!" shrieked Frenzy in the loudest voice he could muster, which was saying a lot. "I don't know you! We never had this talk! You hear me!? It's your scrap, not mine."
With that Frenzy hurriedly left the room. It never occurred to Skywarp that Frenzy might warn his beloved boss but he needn't have worried. Frenzy did think for a moment that maybe Megatron should be warned but the possibility of seeing another prank was too powerful for him to resist and he knew that Skywarp was good at it. However, he did feel compelled to keep his distance from Skywarp just to be safe. So, Skywarp's planned prank was safe.
"He won't know it was me," reassured he to himself. "I have the perfect alibi."
He then went to shut-down mode, excitedly awaiting the day that he would carry out the prank on Megatron.
...
The day he was waiting for is the conference room where Megatron gives speeches to his Decepticons. These speeches are often about his latest plan to destroy the Autobots once and for all and any slimy Earthling that resist him. Sometimes they are about plans for Earth such as terraforming Earth for the benefit of the Decepticon Empire and enslaving its inhabitants for labour. Skywarp usually dreads these speeches because they are boring. He has a short attention-span and would prefer to do something fun instead like thinking up new pranks. His head hurts whenever he tries to pay attention so it is easier for him to ignore the speeches, to trust Megatron and do whatever he says. Not that he has a choice, mind you. Unfortunately for him, attendance is mandatory at these times and so, while other Decepticons would sit attentively and digest Megatron's speeches, Skywarp would pass the time daydreaming.
But this time would be different. He was looking forward to Megatron's speech because he would be carrying out the prank at the end of the speech. He chose this moment because Megatron has a corny habit in which, at the end of his speeches he would pump his arm upward and fire his fusion cannon to the sky. Skywarp is not the only Decepticon that finds this corny. If Transformers had eyeballs, these would be rolled up all the way behind the socket. Every Decepticon would wish that Megatron cut out this silly melodramatic practice. They wouldn't ask him to his face, though, of course. Skywarp, unwisely once tried to do that before Megatron cut him off. "If you have an opinion, I tell you what to say," Megatron then yelled.
The prank would be that, as soon as Megatron fired his cannon, a small bomb inside the cannon would go off with a press of a remote control which Skywarp had on his hand. So, Skywarp's prank would actually be able to do two things: play a prank and get Megatron to cut out this corny habit. Skywarp beamed proudly about the cleverness of his prank: Not only will Decepticons laugh with him at this prank, they would be thanking him too. "No way will Megatron do that stupid thing again!" Skywarp would remind himself.
So, here was Skywarp, now sitting among the Decepticons on this fateful day listening to Megatron. The speech was about to reach its end and Skywarp, impressed with himself that he somehow managed to sit through the entire speech attentively, was now so excited that he could not think anymore. The moment was about to arrive. His electronic impulses surged across the body as the moment came nearer and nearer. As expected, the moment came: Megatron pumped his right arm upward in a flourish... and fired his cannon.
An explosion suddenly came off from the podium and smoke soon filled the room. The explosion also led to chaos as the Decepticons, thinking it was an Autobot attack, panicked, and drew their weapons, and scrambled over each other, and tried to find cover. Shots here and there went off from nervous Decepticons which only contributed to the pandemonium. However, after several minutes, realization began to creep into their minds that it may not have been an attack. An accidental explosion, perhaps? The pandemonium grew quieter and finally died down.
The dishevelled Decepticons then turned to their leader for guidance on what to do next. They didn't get it. What they got instead was shock and horror. Megatron was on his back writhing in pain, clutching his face which was horribly punctured by shrapnel from his cannon. Shrapnel also took out his right optics and shredded his right arm while his fusion cannon was blown apart in pieces. Luckily there was no plutonium in it, so the explosion wasn't nuclear. Hook has just raced to Megatron's left side administering some aid to his shredded face. Soundwave was on his other side while the rest of the Decepticons, in a feeling of helplessness, looked on from the room.
However, Megatron, admirably, still kept his wits about him despite the pain he was still feeling.
"What... happened? Where?" he laboriously asked Soundwave.
"My audio receptors do not hear any Autobots about the room," replied Soundwave.
He was addressing Megatron but he raised his voice loud enough so that the rest of the Decepticons could hear him too.
"They suggest instead that the explosion was localized where you are. It appears that someone has planted a bomb. It is likely that it was an inside job."
Shock then gave way to quiet anger as Megatron made an effort to sit up on the floor in order to see more clearly the room and his assembled Decepticons. With only his left optics still functional, he slowly surveyed the Decepticons, one after another, and, despite the pain he was still feeling, he resolved to suppress it as he needed to speak again. His voice was raspy because his audio module was damaged but he still managed to bring across a murderous tone to his voice.
"Who.. did... this?" said he, carefully drawing out each word.
That started off another round of pandemonium as Decepticons began looking at and questioning each other. Hysterics and insinuations filled the air. However, call it epiphany or intuition, the Decepticons soon stopped and then, in near perfect unison, turned their heads slowly to the direction of a tinny sound that was coming from the back row. Megatron followed their gaze. This tinny sound was localized in the space occupied by Skywarp who was the only one still sitting down amid this chaos of overturned chairs and bodies. He was having a very hard time to stop laughing. Cupping his mouth had failed to stifle it but the suddenly quiet room and the multiple eyes staring at him finally provided the cure to his laughter. It was not a complete cure, though, because he still had the chuckle here and there that he could not suppress.
"I have an alibi," reassured Skywarp to himself as he watched his fellow Decepticons intensely stare at him.
He then turned to see Megatron staring at him. His chuckling was now completely gone. It is impossible but he seemed to feel a splitting headache as if Megatron's gaze was boring a hole into his forehead. He began to wonder if looks really could kill. He forced himself to brush it off.
"I have an alibi," repeated he but with a lot more doubt this time.
...
A few hours later Skywarp was relieved to be only sent to his room. Megatron had ordered that all Decepticons be confined to their rooms so that Soundwave could conduct an investigation about the explosion. Why was Skywarp there instead of in the brig awaiting a heinous fate since every Decepticon knew that Skywarp was the perpetrator, you might ask? It was because Soundwave had convinced Megatron that Skywarp may have had accomplices; so he needed to question every Decepticon in order to be certain that Skywarp acted alone. Megatron had acquiesced to the request since he wanted to get to the bottom of it. He had all the time in the world to mete out punishment, after all.
So, here was Skywarp in his room, nervously passing the time as he awaited to be interviewed by Soundwave. Remembering and still unnerved by Megatron's stare, Skywarp was further unnerved that no Decepticon seemed to want to converse with him. They pointedly avoided Skywarp as if he was a carrier of Scraplets. Because of his nervousness, a lot of thoughts rang in Skywarp's head; "what a great prank..." "screw the Decepticons that don't find it funny..." "no way Megatron can suspect me..." "remember what to say to Soundwave when he comes here..." and so on.
Finally, a silhouette approaching his room shook Skywarp out of his revelry. It was Soundwave. The time has come and Skywarp would have to deliver the performance of a lifetime. He banished his thoughts which, because of anxiety, was beginning to exhaust him and overheating his CPU. He tried to shore up as much confidence as he could and rehearsed his alibi one more time as Soundwave rang the doorbell.
Despite the fact that he was expecting Soundwave, Skywarp couldn't bring himself to let him in. He has heard stories about Soundwave not being a nice guy; he only pretends to be one. So, Skywarp hoped that Soundwave would stay outside his room and that they could talk to each other through the intercom situated next to the door. It didn't work as Soundwave ignored Skywarp's greeting over the intercom and rang the doorbell once more. Skywarp talked again through the intercom asking Soundwave what he wanted and still hoping Soundwave would stay outside the room. It didn't matter because Soundwave is one of two Decepticons that has unfettered access to all rooms; Megatron is the other. That is a perk that Soundwave gets for being Megatron's most trusted individual. So, without saying a word, Soundwave activated a remote that made the door to Skywarp's room slide open.
Cupping his hands behind his back, Soundwave helped himself inside the room. He stood just inside for a moment so that the two robots could acknowledge each other. With his hands still cupped behind his back, Soundwave walked slowly across the room, never taking his optics off Skywarp because he was aware of the hatred that Skywarp had toward him.
"As you know..." Soundwave began speaking in that monotonous voice that contains no emotion.
It is not that Soundwave lacks emotion. Soundwave has trained himself to speak in such a manner so that others cannot glean anything from the tone of his voice that might betray what Soundwave is thinking or feeling. He has a mouthplate installed on his face for the same reason; it hides his facial expressions through which it is impossible for him to betray his thoughts and emotions. No Decepticon could decipher what Soundwave is thinking or feeling neither by listening to him nor by studying his face. His aloofness also has an added benefit which is also intentional on Soundwave's part; it makes him a little intimidating. It was certainly effective on Skywarp as he began to be even more nervous in the presence of Soundwave.
"... an explosion occurred in the conference room a few hours ago. Hook has determined that the source of the explosion was a small bomb in the fusion cannon of our leader that was controlled by a wireless trigger. He has confirmed that this bomb was stolen from his lab. Now, the only way that it would be possible for the bomb to be implanted inside the said fusion cannon would be at the times when the said fusion cannon is being serviced by Hook. Those times would be every night around 02:00 to 06:00 before it is returned to our leader. Hook has already determined that he saw nothing untoward with the fusion cannon the last time he was in possession of it which would be last night. He has also determined that between the times of 05:30 to 06:00, he had retired briefly. Consequently, someone must have entered the lab at this time. The cameras outside in the hallway do not show anyone loitering outside Hook's room. Somehow, someone must have bypassed the alarms on the way in, taken the bomb and planted it in the fusion cannon. A person with teleportation ability could accomplish that."
Soundwave then stopped walking, turned to Skywarp, and said in the same monotonous voice: "So, that means you did it."
Skywarp couldn't get past the first sentence of Soundwave's dense summation of the events and of the evidence without getting lost, so he spent the whole time rehearsing his rebuttal to whatever the heck Soundwave was saying. He planned only to say "no," but, despite practising for this moment and the fact that his rebuttal consisted of only one word, he failed to control the delivery of his rebuttal. He had meant to say it with a flat tone but it came off as panicky. Worse, he freely offered more information in a staccato and quick manner that sounded panicky also.
"I was in my room in shut-down last night. Just look at the cameras. The cameras show that I was in my room last night. Like I said, they show that I entered my room just before night. They show that I did not leave my room until the morning. The cameras does not show me leaving my room last night. So, there was no way that I could..." Skywarp rambled on.
"Silence," interrupted Soundwave, "I have already stated that the cameras prove nothing considering your teleportation power which is unique among the Decepticons. You have no alibi."
"I don't understand. Look at the cameras. The cameras show I did not leave anytime last night."
"You don't understand?" asked Soundwave after using his great hearing, the best of all Transfomers, to listen to any electron impulse surge in Skywarp's body that might suggest that he was lying. He had heard no such surge.
"Everyone knows about your teleportation power."
"So?" said Skywarp quizzically. He genuinely was puzzled at Soundwave's reasoning.
The normally-stolid Soundwave was mildly taken back at Skywarp's cluelessness.
"You are the dumbest Transformer," muttered Soundwave under his breath.
He then began addressing Skywarp once more in the famous monotonous voice.
"Can you not compute properly? Perhaps I should explain more clearly: You... can't... use... the... cameras... as your defence. Why? Because you can teleport yourself out of your room without... the... cameras... seeing you."
He paused briefly to let it sink in. Hopefully it will this time.
"Do you understand now? You have no alibi."
Soundwave watched Skywarp as intently as ever for any change in body language. He also listened for any change in current surges and for any modulation in the voice. Skywarp sat motionless and did not speak but Soundwave could easily hear a quickly-paced jump in electron impulses inside Skywarp. In this context, Soundwave inferred that this was a feeling of impending dread. Soundwave was correct. Skywarp was now agitated. Any fleetly remaining confidence that he could get away with his prank was now gone.
"Furthermore, only one with teleportation power could bypass the door to Hook's room without tripping the alarms," Soundwave continued matter-of-factly. "This is another instance that your teleportation power points to you as the culprit."
Soundwave again watched and listened for any change in Skywarp's demeanor. He again heard huge jumps in electronic impulses, indicating, in this context, the continuing terror that Skywarp was feeling now. He really was the culprit, not that Soundwave or anyone else had any doubt. However, he knew that Skywarp's mental state was now making him unpredictable and dangerous so he was watching and listening to Skywarp as closely as ever.
In a desperate fury, Skywarp lunged suddenly at Soundwave, intending to murder him. Soundwave however anticipated such a possibility and was prepared. With icy calm, he sidestepped Skywarp's charge, grabbed and twisted his left arm with the left arm, and used the other arm to slam Skywarp's head to the floor. Soundwave's great strength kept Skywarp's head pinned to the floor to ensure that Skywarp couldn't teleport out. A successful teleportation is difficult to achieve since it requires a mental picture of the destination to teleport to which can only be possible with a calm and complete concentration on the task. This was impossible in this situation with Soundwave maintaining firm pressure on Skywarp's head. Seeing that Skywarp could not wriggle out, Soundwave allowed himself the luxury of displaying an emotion, one of satisfaction.
After moments of Skywarp futilely trying to wriggle his way out, he broke down.
"Please!" "don't tell Megatron!" "I'm begging you!" "I'll do anything you want!" and so on.
"Silence," interrupted Soundwave.
Skywarp did not listen to him. He continued pleading.
"I will help you," assured Soundwave. "Megatron will not know it was you."
"You will?" asked an incredulous Skywarp.
"Why?" he was afraid to ask.
"I found your prank funny," said Soundwave, not completely untruthful. "That's why I will help you."
Skywarp was now full of hope, despite the warnings of many Decepticons not to trust Soundwave. When one is desperate, one is willing to forget unpleasant truths.
"But I need you to calm down and answer some questions," Soundwave continued.
"Ask me anything!"
"If I am to protect you, I need to know if you had accomplices that helped you in pulling the prank. Did you have any accomplices?"
Soundwave grew excited at the possibility that Skywarp had accomplices. Could if be that Skywarp's accomplice was Starscream or any other Decepticon with leadership ambitions or with a vendetta against Megatron? Starscream has always tried to undermine Megatron every opportunity he gets, after all. Would he actually go as far as assassination? Could it be that the prank was really a disguised assassination attempt? If yes, Megatron would be eternally grateful to Soundwave for exposing the plot. Soundwave's place as Megatron's right-hand bot would be assured for all time. He would never again have to fear another Decepticon.
When Skywarp replied in the negative, Soundwave was dejected.
"I should have known that no Decepticon would be stupid enough to risk allying with an idiot like Skywarp for conspiratorial purposes," he thought.
"Did anyone know that you were going to pull your prank on Megatron?" Soundwave then asked, still hopeful that there might be something to this investigation.
"No."
"Are you certain? Stay calm."
"Wait! I think so! but I can't remember!"
Soundwave brightened up once again. There is more to this investigation! He could either expose whoever this Decepticon is or simply blackmail him if that is the better course of action in advancing his self-interests.
"Stay calm," said Soundwave monotonously, but privately he was excited. "You will then remember."
"There was a very small bot, a very loud bot. I can't remember the name."
"Frenzy?"
"Yeah! Frenzy!" beamed Skywarp proudly. "He knows!"
Soundwave was disappointed. Frenzy and the rest of the Recordicons are his minions. He is, therefore, off-limits. Any other Decepticon would have done.
"No one else?" asked he.
"No."
Soundwave allowed his disappointment to come through his voice. He would have to report to Megatron that Skywarp acted alone and with no one else the wiser. Although the investigation was a disappointment, there was a silver lining in that he could look forward to what would soon await Skywarp.
"I go now," said he. "You stay here for a moment."
"Sure, sure, sure," Skywarp stammered.
Soundwave walked out and stood just outside the room, cupping his hands behind his back as usual. He turned his head to and nodded at two Decepticons that were waiting for him at the corner of the hallway. Taking the cue, the two Decepticons rushed into the room and Soundwave could hear a Zap! sound as they shocked Skywarp numb with an electric rod. Soundwave then watched them drag out Skywarp by the arms and motioned to them that Skywarp was to be sent to Megatron's chambers.
"I suppose I will have to settle for Skywarp's cries and screams," Soundwave sighed, as he followed them to Megatron's chambers.
...
Hours later, Hook was at his lab working on repairing the fusion cannon when a Decepticon rang his door. Annoyed at the interruption to his beloved work, Hook tried to wave him off.
"I'm busy. Go away," said he testily to the intercom beside the working table, while not taking his optics off the work.
The other Decepticon refused to budge.
"The Boss wants you," said he to the intercom besides Hook's main door.
Hook didn't hear him, still intently focused on his work. He so loved his work and his function as engineer that everything else is a distinct secondary. It is a job he excels at and which few Transformers could match.
"The Boss wants you!" repeated the other Decepticon, loudly.
Hook heard him this time but only the voice and not the words.
"Get out!" screamed Hook, still intent on his work, "I'm working on something important. I don't have time to waste on simpletons like you!"
The other Decepticon, annoyed, cupped his hands to his mouth and screamed back at the intercom.
"Megatron wants you! You know!? Megatron!"
Few things could shake Hook off his beloved work. A Megatron summons is one of them. Hook jerked his head up.
"Megatron wants me?"
The other Decepticon, satisfied that he got through to Hook, simply responded in the affirmative and left, muttering to himself on what a slagheap Hook was.
Hook sighed disappointingly. He hated to leave his work so he briefly entertained the notion of ignoring Megatron's summons and getting back to his work. He wisely thought better of it.
As he entered his leader's chambers, he saw that Megatron was seated. Soundwave was at his side, as impassive and as intimidating as ever. And what looks like Skywarp was on the floor. He saw, to his satisfaction, that Megatron's face, right arm and right optics was operating as perfectly as ever. Thanks to Hook, Megatron appeared to be 100% functional once more. However, prostrate Skywarp was another matter. He appeared to have been severely and physically beaten, judging by the misshapen metal around his body. Hook deduced correctly that it was the fists of Megatron that was the cause. He also rightly deduced that Skywarp must have been found guilty of that fateful day, no doubt one of his pranks, and that Megatron has just finished administering punishment.
"Yes, Great Megatron?" asked Hook, still staring at Skywarp.
He turned his attention back to Megaton to await a response. Megatron has waited a bit for Hook to look at Skywarp and size up the situation.
"You are to take this scrapheap for repair," Megatron ordered, "but with special instructions for the repair. I want each microchip in his CPU module disassembled and reassembled."
He paused for a moment to let the message sink in.
"All this while he is on-line," he continued. "Can it be done?"
Hook was intrigued by this unorthodox instruction.
"Yes," said he carefully, "however, if he is to remain on-line during the operation, it would be excruciating painful for him because..."
"Yes, so, it is excruciating painful," interrupted Megatron. "That was a wonderful suggestion by Laserbeak. That's why I still keep him around."
Hook realized that Megatron was apparently still not done with his revenge on Skywarp.
"There is a slim chance it might kill him," warned Hook. "A lot can go wrong in removing a microchip while he is on-line. It could short-circuit..."
"Quiet!" Megatron thundered, "I need to think for a moment."
Megatron had decided, reluctantly, not to have Skywarp lobotomized and reduced to an automatic worker because Skywarp's teleportation power was too valuable to waste. It was a difficult decision he made, a 50-50 chance. Now, Megatron would have to revisit that decision and decide if he should risk losing Skywarp's teleportation power for the sake of revenge. Skywarp has already been sufficiently punished, no? Perhaps not. It was once again a 50-50 decision. Since he already ruled one way, he decided to go the other way, just because.
"Do it," he finally said.
"Yes, Great Megatron," Hook said and soon walked out with Skywarp in tow on a stretcher.
"Wait!" said Megatron, "I'm not finished yet."
Hook stopped and turned back.
"Take all the time you want," said Megatron. "Now, you can go."
Hook was pleased. That is all he ever wants to do: to be free to do his job as long as possible.
...
A few hours later, Skywarp lay immobile in Hook's lab unable to move but able to see, hear and feel all around him, since he was still on-line. His faceplate and helmet has been removed, exposing the circuitry innards. He could feel the cool, stuffy breeze washing uncomfortably over his exposed head.
Hook walked in, sat down next to Skywarp and intensely studied him. He had intended to gloat and to take his sweet revenge for Skywarp's prank on Hook, but decided that he was not worth the trouble. He was simply looking forward to take as much time as needed to do his job. This means he not only intended to do as instructed, but also do things that any other Transformer surgeon would consider unnecessary. This includes vacuuming each and every one of the million components in Skywarp's head to ensure that there was not one speck of dust; polishing to ensure not one smudge of grime; and soldering with the exact amount of iron, not more or less, just exact, to ensure not one blotch of waste. Hook is an incurable perfectionist. Everything has to function and look 100%. His perfectionism can be both a plus and a minus. In Skywarp's present situation, it is definitely a big minus.
"I will have you know that I am doing this under Megatron's orders," said Hook as he slowly brought his scalpels to Skywarp's head.
Hook's face and scalpels loomed larger and larger until they filled even Skywarp's peripheral vision. A terrified Skywarp was unable to resist.
...
A few hours later Hook was taking a break and left the room. Skywarp was still on the table and still on-line which means he could still see, hear and feel. Breakdown, whom we were acquainted with earlier in this story, took the opportunity to sneak into the room. He couldn't bring himself to look at Skywarp directly since his head was completely stripped of microchips and transistors which would horrify the sight of any Transformer not so accustomed.
"Oh, Skywarp," said Breakdown in a whisper, "look at you. You should not have done it. But I'm glad you did."
Breakdown then looked at Skywarp's body, carefully not looking at his exposed head, for any sign that Skywarp could acknowledge him. He didn't know that Skywarp could.
"If it makes you feel any better, you were right," Breakdown continued. "It was your best prank. I don't think you ever, ever, ever are gonna top it again. It was better than Motormaster. That look on Megatron's face after the explosion. That was funny. He's never gonna do that stupid thing with the cannon ever again. That's for sure!"
Breakdown then turned to leave the room before Hook could return. But thinking that Skywarp could use one more instant of cheer, he stopped and turned back.
"You really outdid yourself this time. It was your best prank ever," said Breakdown, giving a big thumbs-up as he slinked out of the room.
Skywarp, left all alone in the cold and dark room once again, was not consoled. For the first time in his 4-million-plus-year-old life, Skywarp regretted a prank. All he could think about as he sat there motionless, was how long Hook was taking his break. Will he survive Hook's operation? Yes he will; Hook is simply too good at what he does. But Skywarp would never be the same again. He would have been better off if he had died then and there.
THE END