THE List
RoundRobin/Joint fic by Alexandria and Katie
30 June 2005
Star Trek:TNG / LotR crossover

"You're completely serious, aren't you?" Horror colored Picard's tone.

"Absolutely. Now, should Data sing or are we getting Riker's band?"

"For what?" Picard sounded like someone had kicked him unpleasantly.

"Our wedding, of course, mon amour!" Q draped his arms around Picard's shoulders. This was made possible by his position in Picard's lap after having materialized there a few seconds ago.

Silence. Picard looked as though a friend had died. "Wedding?"

"Of course; so they can add our names to the list."

"What list?"

"THE List."

Picard sighed. This was getting rather tedious; playing 20 questions just to get a straight answer.

"What is this list of?"

"THE List. It contains the names of every classic love pairing in the history of the universe. I thought everyone knew..."

"Classic love pairings?"

"Romeo and Juliet. Piramus and Thisby. Xena and Gabrielle. T'Pol and Hoshi Sato. Kirk and Spock..."

"Your point?"

"You knew about Kirk and Spock?"

"Who doesn't?"

"Well, everyone knows the rumors, but I thought you'd be surprised."

"I melded with Spock. Feelings like those stay close to the surface. But... President T'Pol? I thought she was with-"

"-Common mistake. Everyone who's anyone knows what really happened those 5 years. She never really loved him."

Flustered and slightly confused, Picard waved for Q to continue with THE List.

"You want me to go on? I'm pretty sure you have other obligations during the next few millennia."

Picard nodded. "I see."

"So, where shall we have our honeymoon? Risa? Ancient Greece? Middle Earth?"

"Middle Earth? With Elves and, and Hobbits?" Picard gestured to his bookshelf. "Tolkien's Middle Earth?"

"Where do you think he got the idea?"

"I assumed from ancient earth's psychotropic drugs."

"He showed potential. I took him under my wing. Now, those were the days. It only took a short vacation to get those creative juices flowing. Mind you, the Lothlorien guard got rather angry, but how was I to prevent our landing in the middle of a strip-poker game?"

"You're omnipotent."

"Oh, right. Still, Haldir's clothes do him no justice."

Picard, being rather dull (although that couldn't be helped, after all, he was only human) still didn't really get it. "You're serious."

"Am I ever anything but serious?"

Picard stared with disbelief at Q's cheerful expression. "You really want to marry me?"

"Of course. We can begin our life together right here on the ship if you like."

"On the ship?"

"Dear..." He paused, not wanting to use the dreadfully cliche 'God' "...me, I'm in love with a parrot."

"You really love me?"

"Yes, you foolish human. I love you." Q's voice went soft at the end. "Now, do you want me to get on one knee, or what?"

"Well..."

"Oh, fine." They dematerialized and reappeared on the bridge.

"Q, I didn't mean here-"

"-Jean Luc," The entire bridge's jaws dropped as Q bent down in front of their captain. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh bloody hell. Fine."