Opposite

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. (Sooooooo Original)

A.N. Muhahahahahahahha…… my first real FMA fic. Hope you like it. Please R and R

Chapter One: The Mistake

Ed pulled the small red bottle out from under his coat. They were so close to finding the secret to make the Philosopher's stone. Again he reached under his jacket and pulled out a syringe full of shimmering blue liquid. He squirted some into the red bottle and stared at it intently.

He felt a surge of disappointment when it appeared nothing would happen. All of the sudden it began to shake. It took Ed so much by surprise that he dropped it. There was a loud explosion and the world went black.

When he awoke he saw several people standing around him. Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Havoc, and Fury were watching him closely as he opened his eyes, but something was different about them.

Roy's eyes were covered in thick black glasses and he was looking at the young alchemist with concern. Riza was dressed in a pink top and mini skirt set, which she would never have been caught dead in. Her gun holder and gun were nowhere in sight, she was wearing make-up, and her hair was down and curled. Havoc was missing his customary cigarette, and Fury was wearing a shirt that said 'Down with Dogs. His hair was much longer than it had been, and it was slicked up into a shimmering Mohawk.

"What happened to you guys?" Ed asked meekly, looking around at the unnatural look of the bunch.

"What do you mean what happened to us, Ed?" Roy asked.

"Wait," Ed began, "you just called me Ed."

"Of course Ed."

"Where's Al?" he asked.

"Out with his newest girlfriend," Riza said, "you know how he is."

Ed looked at her incredulously, "Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, poor girl. His flavor of the week." Riza sighed, "I was so heartbroken when he broke it off with me."

"Al went out with you? I must have been asleep for a really long time!"

"Only one day, Ed," Roy asked. "You need to get back to work. I have no more paperwork to do." He said teasingly.

"Why are you talking to me like we're friends?" Ed asked.

Roy looked hurt, "So now we're not friends anymore?"

Ed stared at him, "anymore?"

"Yes anymore. Just yesterday you, Riza, and I were having a long discussion about friendship."

"I can't deal with this anymore. I need to get Al so we can continue our search for the stone."

"The Philosopher's Stone?" Riza asked, wrinkling he nose, "You gave up looking for that years ago. You were never very serious about finding that."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, you were looking for that for about as long as I was in the military."

"You're not in the military?"

"God no. I couldn't stand the guns."

"This is a dream," Ed said.

"I can assure you it's not," Fury said nastily, "I've been wishing my life was a dream for years."

Ed looked them over and then started banging his head against the bedside table of the room he was in. It was then he saw the huge bouquets littering the room. He picked up the one closest to him. The dozen large yellow roses looked very squished inside the thick paper. He picked up the card from the inside.

Dearest Ed,

I hope you get well soon. Envy should be bringing you soup and cookies (Sloth baked of course) sometime today. Maybe I can come by some time this week. Give me a call.

Lust

"I've gone crazy," Ed said, head falling onto his folded knees.

"How's my bestest bestest friend?" Envy asked, bursting through the door. "Oh Good! You're awake."

"Hi Envy," Riza said seductively.

"Hello Miss Hawkeye," Envy answered modestly.

"Errrr….," Riza growled, "You are so clueless!"

Roy was looking at Envy with jealous evident in his gaze, "But you're my girlfriend!" he said. She glared at him.

"Hello Envy," Havoc spoke for the first time, "You haven't picked up smoking have you? You know how bad it is for you."

"No, I haven't," Envy said happily. He walked over to Ed's bedside. "I brought your favorite, Sloth Cookies." He thrust a tray into Ed's hands.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"And Wrath's famous chicken soup!" he handed him another container.

He pulled up the cover and looked in at the cookies. Half were heart shaped with red icing and 'It'll break my heart if your not better soon' written in yellow letters. The other half were flowers with yellow icing on the outside and orange centers.

He picked one up and inspected it carefully. Envy was watching him excitedly. He too looked very different. His hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, and he was wearing black slacks and a blue button up shirt.

Ed cautiously took a bite. It was delicious.

"Gluttony's not doing well," Envy said, as though Ed had asked, "he's getting skinnier every day! He won't eat a thing."

Ed just nodded, eating another cookie. If he was going to be crazy he might as well enjoy it.

"Oh that reminds me, I left him outside. I'll go get him so you can say hi," he came back in a few minutes later with an unrecognizable Gluttony. He was so skinny you could see his rib bones through his baggy sweater, and his blue shorts revealed chicken white stick legs. His hair was done in a neat bowl cut, and he wore a nervous smile on his face.

"Hullo Ed," he said nervously.

"This is going to far!" Ed yelled, falling off the bed.