"I mean, being a robot's great, but we don't have emotions, and sometimes that makes me very sad." — Bender, Futurama
When Geordi entered the room, Data was sitting by the window. His back was ram-rod straight and his shoulders were perfectly aligned with the floor. He was staring out into black space, eyes wide and dry. Apparently he had not bothered running the programs on how to sit casually like a human, nor how to blink. Geordi felt a pang of unease. Seeing Data like this would be like seeing Picard with a stubble or Worf crying: something out of the ordinary, potentially embarrassing and a bit frightening. Geordi could tell that not all his mate's systems were functioning within normal parameters. It was understandable: It had only been two days since Lal died.
"Hey, there you are! I missed you at Ten-forward today."
"Hello Geordi". Data didn't turn to look at him as Geordi approached. His soft voice sounded neutral, perfectly level. Just like normal. Geordi let out a breath he'd been holding. Thankfully Data at least had the voice simulator program running.
"Some guys were playing a new game, from Toroc One. Looked like fun. We must try that some day." Geordi sat down next to the rigid android. He waited for a response but none came. He wondered what to say next, if he was distrurbing something. If this was the android way of grieving. Geordi knew the mechanics of this advanced machine from the inside and out, and he knew this unique person better than anyone. His fellow officer, best friend, heck, even possibly his boyfriend judging from how things had developed lately. With the physical activities they had shared in Data's room, and in Geordi's, and on the Holodeck, and one time under an examination table in Sickbay. But still, despite their familiarity, Geordi was at a bit of a loss on how to approach the situation.
"We haven't talked that much since... How are you doing, really? Looking a bit forlorn there."
Well. That came out way too casual, and who the heck used a word like 'forlorn' anyway. Ten seconds into the conversation and Geordi was already kicking himself. Though if Data had noticed how awkward he was feeling he made no sign of it. It seemed he had barely registered Geordi was even there.
"I am fine Geordi. Thank you for asking. I am currently running a series of system checks."
Geordi studied his friend's expressionless face. He strongly suspected Data was more affected than he let on by the recent events, and what he now saw in his friend only confirmed his suspicions. The electromagnetic light that the android emitted glowed as usual through his VISOR as white and gold, with tiny flames of bright green, myoberry red and orange, but there were also hues of cobalt and deep ultraviolet. Geordi had seen them before, and he knew what they meant. He had wished then he would never have to see them again.
A particularly bright sheen of blue was flickering around the base of his mate's head, where the spine connected with the skull. He knew Data's systems well enough to correctly interpret this as high activity in the spinal sub-processors: the android was thinking hard but inefficiently. It almost looked like a program was looping.
"To be honest Data, you don't look that well."
Data's head twitched, mechanically. He took on the patient expression he always had when he was gearing up to explain that he, as an android, had no emotions.
"As you know Geordi I do not have emotions, so any appearance of gloom must be a projection of your-"
"Yes I know, I know" Geordi interrupted, "You've mentioned that. A couple of times. You do know…that if you want to talk about it, I'm here. Just..you know, we can talk about anything. If you want to."
"Thank you Geordi. You are a good friend."
Geordi frowned. Two short sentences, no follow-up questions. This was in itself a worrying sign for the normally long-winded android. It would be so much better if Data would chatter away, talking his yellow head off about what was going through his mind. About his android feelings. Then again that would probably mean Geordi would have to talk feelings too. Damn. He caught himself nervously twisting the hem of his uniform around his fingers. Finding the right words to say in these kinds of situations had never been Geordi's strength, if he was to be honest with himself. But he'd be damned if he was gonna let Data sit here and wallow in recent events. At least he was not going to let him wallow in them alone.
Geordi decided to go with a more physical approach. He put his arm around Data's shoulders, leaned up against him and joined in the silent staring into space. It felt like sitting next to a piece of steel. He could see their faces reflected in the glass, elongated with the curve of the windowpane. Data glowing like a grade A-nebula in Geordi's VISOR, his expression indifferent.
The ship was going steady at cruising speed through the S-78 cluster. Stars and white dwarves wooshed by as they travelled, creating white streaks in the black. Geordi turned to his mate, let his breath ghost over the golden skin just above the uniform collar. Data blinked. At last the android slumped into a more human posture, duranium melting into a resemblance of bones and flesh.
When Data broke the silence his voice came out quieter than normal.
"I believe you want information about my current status. You have perhaps already concluded I am not running anywhere near 100% efficiency. When you came in I was processing information about Lal at 82,713% capacity, of which 19,4% was performing severely below par. Right now I am using approximately 78% to calculate the time frames between Lal's sensor stimuli versus the initiation of the cascade failure. I have done some tests on the data I downloaded from her and I have made several orthogonal matrixes of the event. But I cannot find a equation to make for a satisfactory outcome."
Geordi sighed. "Look…there was nothing you could have done. Her systems were very expandable. You couldn't have known the level of information gathering she would perform. In a very short time she excelled-"
He hesitated. Next words out of his mouth would have been "She outshone her father; she achieved in days what you haven't managed for years" but he didn't know how well that would go down.
"Indeed Geordi. Lal absorbed information very quickly. I was most satisfied with her accomplishments". The android looked as sad as Geordi had ever seen him.
"Hey, look…" He put his hand on the back of his friend's head, covering up the blue angsty glow. He wished he could simply rip out the light, crumple it into a ball and kick it into the next galaxy. The skin covering the source of the light was warmer than usual. Geordi let his fingers circle over the spot in what he hoped would be perceived as a soothing pattern.
"Let it go for now, ok? You really need to stop knocking yourself over this, if that's what you're doing."
He could sense Data leaning into his touch, letting out an imitation of a human sigh which unfortunately sounded more like a drunk cat hissing. Geordi had to bite back a smile. Apparently there was not enough computing power allotted to the android's breathing functions.
"You are right Geordi. I do believe I could be in the process of "knocking myself over this". For the last hour I have simulated the line of events from her activation up to her demise 258 times, using different input parameters. They all lead to the same outcome."
Data paused when Geordi let his thumb grace over the edge of his lower cranial maintenance panel. Noting the effect, Geordi experimentally did it again. Data gave a slight shiver.
"I have to conclude I am inferior to my father when it comes to creating new life. "
"Oh Data. I wouldn't say that. Lal was your first attempt. Your father tried it a bunch of times before you and your brother…" Geordi winced. If he ever met Lore again that would be a day too soon. That one time he had made a quick and destructive visit to the Enterprise had been quite enough. Back when Data's aura had been flecked with blue.
"…before you and your brother came along. And frankly Lore wasn't all that successful either. He was nothing like your old gentle self." He poked Data playfully in the shoulder. "You great mass of positronic circuits".
Data turned away from the window with a twitch and gave him a startled bird-like look.
"Yes you" Geordi smiled. "You mass."
Relieved to see Data returning his smile, he scooted closer to his friend, wrapping an arm around his waist. He could feel Data's hand coming to rest on his thigh, then their lips met. Geordi's other hand got tangled up in artificial hair, pulling it. Data's skin was smooth and warm, and he smelled faintly of silicone and warm circuit board. Geordi ran a finger over the maintenance cover again and was rewarded with another shiver.
" Geordi" Data's voice was slightly muffled, trying to kiss and talk at the same time. "You said I was to tell you when you did things I preferred over other things. And I find it agreeable when - " he paused to wipe off some excess artificial saliva that had gathered on his bottom lip. Apparently his saliva replenishment subroutine was a bit off too today. Geordi realised he found android drool very appealing. " - when you touch my lower-left cranial maintenance panel. It reminds me of the times when you perform repairs on my gyro levers."
Geordi laughed. Never had the words "gyro levers" sounded so sexy. Just knowing Data had preferences made his heart beat faster. "That's great, just keep that information coming." He pulled his leg from under Data's, who apparently had tried to climb into his lap at some point. His thigh was asleep. "You know, you have a thousand manuals in there about the sweet spots on human males, so you have a bit of a head-start." He put his leg over Data's instead. Better.
"We are more alike in this aspect that you think Geordi. I do have routines on human males in general, but I wish to learn your unique specifics in particular."
"Then I believe we can work well together, because I'm gonna be the universal expert on the erogenous zones of this particular Soong type-android-person...". He reached for the fastenings on Data's uniform and opened it to expose more of the smooth golden neck. And what a lovely neck it was. He decided to start with the left side. "I'm in fact very dedicated to this cause."
"I find it agreeable when you kiss my neck, as you are doing now." Geordi hummed in agreement, moving further up and nipped an earlobe. He peeked over his mate's shoulder to check the colour of Data's aura. Relief and happiness spread in his chest when he found the blue light to be almost gone, and he had helped to make it go away! He had managed to stop the looping, and he didn't even have to use mechanical tools to do it.
"Hey, if you try it again, building a new brain for Lal or constructing a new child, I'm sure it'll be a success." he kissed Data's jaw. "But you should probably warn the captain first so he doesn't have an aneurysm. The poor guy."
He could feel the steel returning to the android's body a second before Data hastily straightened to a perfect 90-degree upright position. "What...did I say something?"
"If it would not have been for Captain Picard she would have been taken away from me" He looked calm, his yellow gaze locked onto Geordi's VISOR, but there was a slight tone of something sad in his voice. "And even despite the Captain's best efforts, they would have taken her eventually. I could not have prevented it. It appears my right as a sentient being does not stretch as far as my offspring. Or am I mistaken?".
Geordi sighed and took Data's hand, stroked it with his thumb. "No... It would appear not."
"If I build another brain for Lal, or indeed construct a new child, it will be taken away too. I will never be allowed to bring up a child. To be a parent."
Geordi took his other hand, held them both fast. "Well... Not right now at least. I wish I could tell you that they'll come around, but I know how thick Starfleet can be." He didn't voice the rest of his thought: They would just have to be grateful Starfleet didn't order Data off the ship and into a lab, forcing him to build new Soong-like models until his fingers wore down to the poly-alloy skeleton. Probably with a crazed Maddox hanging over his shoulder and watching his every move.
Data looked down on their joined hands, brows knitted. "Geordi, are we 'a couple'?"
"What?" Now that was a change of subject. "Like 'a couple'-couple? Uh, I'd say we are… would you?"
Geordi waited for about three seconds while the android ran through all the definitions of 'couple'. He really hoped the answer would be yes.
"We are meeting the criteria for 'a couple' listed in approximately 80% of the definitions, with a 100% match in Bajorian, Acamarian and Etanian culture. Yes, I would say we are." And with that, Data pulled Geordi down into a more horisontal position.
Picard cleared his throat. The day had not begun well. There had been a fire on C-deck that, while it hadn't done much damage, still caused the entire section to smell of burned plastics; a quibble between two officers, one they really could have sorted out for themselves, had been taken into his office and played out in front of him. While he had lectured his officers and sent them on their merry ways his tea had gone cold, and he had been distracted enough to not notice before he had swallowed a big gulp of room-temperatured brew. Now he sat stewing in disappointment and a stale taste of bergamot. He felt an urge to talk to a sane person, and to get a proper, non-replicated cup of tea. He set off for Ten forward and Guinan.
When Picard entered the mess hall his mood dropped to just below floor-level. He had immediately spotted the worst of his worst possible nightmares: the annoying excuse for an omnipotent being: Q! Damn, double-damn! The waste of space and energy sat alone at one of the tables along the wall. Picard considered turning on his heel and make a dash for it, but he quickly re-considered. It would be a cold day on the Sun before he would run away from Q. Besides, Q could easily and in a flash appear just next to him with his finger in Picard's ear at any time (it had happened) so there was really no point. He was just postponing the inevitable.
Well, a lot could be said for postponing. Thankfully Q hadn't spotted him yet. He sat a bit hunched over, poking a cocktail stick into the deep murky layers of a Bynar 01-soda fizz. Funny, Q trying cocktails. In ten-forward no less. Why was he here if not to annoy the crew and especially the Captain? Picard experimentally crossed the room and walked over to the bar. Not exactly sneaking, no, but maybe a bit less captain-y than usual. Q didn't look up. Guinan was of course nowhere to be seen. Damn. Picard looked over to Q again. Was he doodling on a piece of paper? Yes he was. Probably making up some disruptive plan to humiliate him and generally upset the order of things. But why wasn't Q in his face already, like usual? It was beginning to grate on him, like a mouse with a cat having its paw above its head but not striking.
Picard did another turn around Ten-forward, just because. Q didn't look up from his cocktail and his paper. Well, sod this. This mouse was to take control of its own destiny.
Picard walked straight up to Qs table, putting a hand down on the table surface a bit harder than he had intended. He noticed with pleasure that the omnipotent being flinched at the sound. "Q! WHAT are you doing here?".
Q immediately found his bearings: "Well, well, mon capitaine, WHAT am I indeed doing here in your establishment? I would say "fine" establishment, but then that would be a lie!" Q looked happier and happier with each passing second. Picard gritted his teeth. "Please, sit down capitaine, s'il vous plait! Share a drink with me! The 01-soda fizz is excellent! A bit heavy on the fermented snails perhaps, but it is, as so many things are, a matter of taste."
"I prefer to stand, thank you. Neither you or I will be long here. What is the purpose of your visit?"
Q stirred his drink again, picking up a bit of the sludge with it and carefully licking it off before replying. "I am here out of my good heart! As you know I only strive to make humanity better, to serve as your faithful guide through the darkness. In a way it is like watching monkeys poking sticks into-"
"Enough!"
Q put the stick back into his glass and pouted. "Well then. Your android called for me. As you know, I am in his debt."
"He's not MY android, he's his own an.. well that doesn't matter!" Picard boomed. He was going to have Data flayed for this. Or at least he would tell him off in a firm way. "Whatever the reason is, I want you off this ship NOW."
Q threw his hands up for dramatic effect and gave Picard a big smile: "Mais, n'est pas possible! You see Capitaine, Data called in a favour I promised him way back when. And I'm going to help him. The reason I'm sitting here in you establishment nursing this cocktail is that I'm trying to think of how. His request is not simple, and, as you would say, je ne sais pas quoi faire."
Picard had to admit it, his curiosity was piqued. "The mighty Q being at a loss what to do? Come now, out with it. What did he want your help with?"
"He wants to have a baby". Q positively beamed. "And he wants to have it with Geordi!"
Picard really really wished he had that tea now.