DICSCLAIMER CHARACS NOT MINEEEEEE
The cool breeze of the fan tickled his face as he stared deeply at the wall. Loneliness was swarmed around him accompanied by some lust. He sat up unable to sleep, cradling his face in his hands he sighed softly "UGH! This is SOOO annoying! Not to mention wrong…" the form lifted from the down mattress and shuffled its way to the kitchen. Cups clinked together as he searched the cabinets for something he finally chuckled as he produced a bottle of Strawberry Vodka from behind a stack of dishes.
He then became slightly discontent "She wouldn't be old enough to drink this…but knowing her she probably has already" he shook his handsome head of jet locks "C'mon Chris! Pull yourself together!"
Chris had to admit that that damn teen had grown on him ever since the beginning of the damn show. But hey he was getting paid well and…damn he was beefcake. If anything it just boosted his rep with the ladies, getting paid to look good was the best. But he thought things would get dangerous if I got involved with them. "UGH! Chris you need your beauty sleep!!!" he took a swig and placed it on the nightstand. Big day tomorrow…he had some odd jobs lined up for those teens! He chuckled evilly.
"This is sooo annoying!" Heathers high-pitched shriek came from the girls' trailer. "Shuttup girl its only 5 in da mornin' damn" LaShawna snapped groggily. Bridget and the others were collecting themselves and getting ready, some light conversation drifting between them. "So Gwen have you gone all the way yet?" Lindsay asked eagerly. Gwen cringed "Lindsay like I said last night…" "Naw my homegirl is still a virgin!" LaShawna interjected slapping Gwen on the arm.
"LASHAWNA!!!" she exclaimed.
"What girl? Nowadays that something you should be proud of. Unlike a certain hoochie…"
Heather scoffed while affixing her wig. Beth thought of something for the first time and asked "Heather if you're rich and everything how come you kept the mullet wig from the first season?" Heather crossed her arms "Well hell like I know! Ask the writers…"
"WILL ALL CAMPERS PLEASE COME OUT HERE ALREADY!!!!!" Chris' magnified voice rang from outside.
The guys dragged themselves out after a night of partying hard. Now that Owen was gone they had more room to move…A LOT more room. So they spent the night moshing in the empty space leaving a scared Harold on his bunk.
"Mornin' Grips and Gaffers! Today's challenge will be based on actors' career!" Chris sat in a director's chair holding a megaphone and a soy latte.
"Oh yay! Like the dressing rooms, tours, parties and glamour?" Lindsay clapped her hands giddily.
"You didn't let me finish…"jeez she's so dumb "I was GOING to say before I was rudely interrupted…" Chris shot a glance at the blonde "…that you'll be doing the part of an actors career where it DIES! Ha ha…"
"So what? Are we supposed to become addicts or sumthin'?" Duncan asked coolly. "That's something the viewers would've expected you to say" Harold commented meekly. "You think you're smart? I should fu-"Duncan started.
"AS I WAS SAYING!!!" Chris yelled into the megaphone. He waited until the groans ceased and the blood stopped leaking from their ears. "Today you're going to do the jobs that all ex-celebrities get when the fail…and the best thing is you get them at random! Chef!"
The big brutal Chef stalked out mumbling something about ridiculous severance pay and union rules. "Listen up fools! All ya have to do is pick a slip of paper from this hat, whatever you get is what you get…GET IT." He held out a beanie that suspiciously looked a lot like the one Ezekiel used to wear…Chris smiled haughtily "The team whose members complete the most jobs thoroughly win and whoever loses gets to clean Chefs shoes!"
"Dude that's rank!" Duncan grimaced and Trent nodded in agreement. DJ got a queasy look and hid his face. "Man we simply MUST win this time or we will be forever shamed" Justin sighed. "Anything for you Justin…" Beth drooled clasping her hands together in admiration. "I know Beth, I know…" he smoothed his deliciously coffee hair back so he could reveal more of his perfect face. Chris glared, a little annoyed at the fact they weren't really paying attention. After a while of more pointless chit-chat they finally got down to it and began withdrawing their papers. Almost simultaneously it was a collection of:
"What does this mean?" "The hell I am!" "Who the heel do they think I am?!" "Does this shade look good on me?" "Shuttup Lindsay!" "Is this even legal?"
"Poopsicles" 'Fuck yeah!" "Damn it all to hell" "Cha I should've gotten a ninja…"
Gwen stared in disbelief at her piece of paper while commotion rang around her. When others glanced at her paper they shied away. "Hey babe what did you get?" Trent looked over her shoulder. "A-A maid…" she answered sadly. "What's so bad about that? You'll get to wear one of those sexy maid outfits…yum" Trent nibbled at her earlobe. She barely felt the tingle at her ear "But…it's a maid for…Chris…" she gulped. NO ONE like the host, not even Dj…and he liked everybody.
"Alright Killer Grips show me what you got" Chris settled himself in and prepared to be amused. First up was team captain Trent, which –oddly enough- gave his stomach a knot. "I got uh- soup kitchen aid?" "HA! A woman's job!' Duncan snorted. He was sure though, somewhere out there Courtney wanted to pummel his image on TV. "Grrr…" Trent loped back to the rest of his team. They came in order like this:
Justin- Garbage Man
Beth- Hair Stylist
Dj- Game reserve attendant
Lindsay- Stripper (writers allowed it for some unknown reason)
Geoff- Plumber
Heather- One of those people who advertise skin rash cream and other embarrassing oopsies
Bridget- Work-out video instructor
Duncan- Calvin Klein underwear model
Harold- Fluffer (He had no idea what that was)
LaShawna- Cashier at American Eagle
Chris rolled around on the floor with tears streaming from his eyes "This is hilarious! Even better when you asked for a raise!" he kicked his legs up in the air and he laughed wildly. Chef only retorted with a grunt. Ima gonna get you one day white boy…he thought. "Alright…" he wiped a few tears from his eyes "…that leaves team captain Gwen. Ha…"
Gwen looked down sheepishly at her hands. "I'm supposed to a maid…at your house…" Immediately there was an eruption of laughter and pointing. "And thought MINE was bad…yo I feel bad for you…" Duncan managed to choke out. "Yo girl you better do whatever it takes to win this challenge" LaShawna giggled out.
No one noticed the almost serious expression on their hosts face. I had intended that to be a joke…what were the chances that she would get it? Of all people…and now she's gonna be in MY house…Chris…man…smooth move…