All the songs used in this "musical" are copyrighted to their original singer/lyricist/producer-dude, whatever. They may not be used without permission…like I just did! And Jak II is copyrighted by Naughty Dog, Sony, and all that other gaming company crap.
Narrator: Jak II was a great game. It was funny, kind of sad, rather short… Wouldn't it be great if they made a movie or show out of it…or a Broadway musical? Actually, that would be really weird. So is this idea that was created by the author, while she was listening to her Shrek 2 soundtrack! Enjoy!
--ACT ONE--
--SCENE ONE--
[Current opens. Samos, young Jak, Keira, and Daxter are seen in front of Samos's house (which also has a huge Precursor Ring in front of it), with a contraption known as the RIFT RIDER…BUM BUM BUUUM!!!]
Samos: Jak, Keira, Daxter? Are you prepared for whatever happens? For we have just created the rift rider, and we are ready to see what that Precursor Ring does!
Daxter: We created the rift rider? You mean I did… Well, I mean Jak and I did. You guys did nothing!
Keira: You guys did a good job! I bet there's a whole new world out there, waiting for us to discover it!
Daxter: A whole new world? Pah, I doubt it. The only place this thing's gonna take us is back up to that freaking annoying Geyser Mountain place with those freaking annoying snakes and lurkers. God, I hate lurkers!
Samos: Well, we will never know what is coming from us if we don't leave this bogus, dumb hick Sandover Village. Get in the car, kids!
(Daxter, Jak, Samos, and Keira jump into the rift rider.)
Daxter: If this thing takes us anywhere related to more boring adventuring, I quit.
Keira: But Daxter, it's a whole new world!
(Keira bursts into rapturous melody.)
I can show you the world,
Shining, shimmering, splendid.
Tell me, Daxter, now when did
You last let your heart decide?
Daxter: Woah, what the hell are you on?
Keira:
I can open your eyes,
Take you wonder by wonder!
Over, sideways, and under,
On a crappy rift rider ride!
Samos:
A whole new world!
A new fantastic point of view!
No one to tell us no,
Or where to go,
Or say we're only dreaming!
Daxter: God, not you too!
(Jak rolls his eyes. The mute also doesn't want to hear this bullcrap. He punches the red button on the rift rider, and it starts to react violently with the Precursor Ring 'splayed in front of them. The rift rider starts hovering in the air. Keira looks down towards the ground.)
Keira:
A whole new world:
A dazzling place I never knew!
But when I'm way up here,
It's crystal clear,
That now I'm going to a whole new world with you!
…Now I'm going to a whole new world with YOU!!!
Daxter: Jeez, these two are getting on my fuggin' nerves!
(Daxter frantically starts pushing all the buttons. Alluva sudden, a huge, butt-ugly monster pops its disgusting head out of the Precursor Ring!)
Monster: RAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Daxter: What the hell is that thing!
(Samos stares forward with wide eyes of fright, still singing!)
Samos:
U-u-unbelievable sights!
(He points at the monster.)
Indescribable fuh-fuh-feelings!
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an e-e-e-endless diamond sky!
Monster: …
(The monster lunges towards the rift rider a bit, in hopes to distract them. He also sends many little flying monster-y thingies flying out into the sky.)
Daxter: WILL YOU GUYS CUT THE CRAP FOR JUST A FREAKING SECOND? WE'RE ABOUT TO DIE HERE!
Keira:
A whole new world!
(Daxter sighs and bangs the dashboard.)
Keira:
Don't you dare close your eyes!
A hundred thousand things to see!
Hold your breath - it gets better;
I'm like a shooting star!
We've come so far,
We can't go back to where we used to be!
(Jak growls silently and pushes some random buttons. The rift rider zooms past the monster and into the Precursor Ring, sending them into a TIME WARP!!!)
Daxter: What the fluck was that thing??
Samos: Oh, Daxter, you know what it was!
Daxter: I do??
Keira: It was…
A WHOLE NEW WORLD!!
Every turn, a surprise!
With new horizons to pursue,
Every moment red-letter!
I'll chase that thing anywhere,
With time to spare!
Let me share this whole new world with you!
(Alluva sudden, a huge lightning bolt smashes into the rift rider and the cheesy piece of crap shatters into a million pieces; Jak and his crew fly out of the car.)
Keira: KYAAAAAH!!
Daxter: Thank God! Your singing freaking SUUUUUUUUUUCKED…!!!
Samos: Find yourself, Jak! That's the worst advice I can give you!
Keira: He doesn't need to find himself, Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Samos: Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?!
Keira: Because…
A WHOLE NEW WORLD!!!
That's where we'll be!
A thrilling chase,
A wondrous place,
For you and meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…!
(They all disappear. Exeunt.)
[The screen fades to whiteness, and then to blackness…and then it opens to another landscape, this one with more futuristic, including flying cars, anything you can think of being metal, freaking annoying civilians, and a beautiful sky. Jak and Daxter fall from the sky onto the metal ground.]
Daxter: That's the last time I ever, EVER, hang around KEIRA and her annoying singing CRAP!!!
Disembodied Voice: Move in!
(Suddenly, two soldiers adorned in red armor, led by some guy with weird, blown-back spiky hair, come over and stare at Jak and Daxter.)
Soldier: Step away from the animal!
Daxter: Well, I'm already starting to hate this musical. First I have to endure Keira's singing from hell, and now I'm getting arrested?!
(Daxter runs.)
Daxter: KYAAAAAAAH!!!!
Wind-blown Guy: Forget the rat. The Baron wants him!
(WBG stares at Jak and grins.)
Wind-blown Guy: We've been waiting for you!
(Jak, thinking anything is better than looking for that wretch Keira, and her psycho-father, stands absolutely still as one of the soldiers takes his gun and smacks the piss out of him. Jak falls down, obviously unconscious. The screen turns black.)
Daxter's Voice: Don't worry, buddy! I'll get you out of there in no time! Actually…since Keira is kind of woo-woo! about you, I think…maybe I won't…
[Exeunt.]