A few years ago, when your dad was in hospital, you wished you had someone there to support you, to help you, to love you. You needed someone to hold your weight when things got heavy. It took all your strength to cope alone, but you did. You never stopped dreaming about finding that one boy who would make everything easier and lighter.
Then you found him.
Then things fell apart.
The last time you were beside your father's bedside in a hospital, it crossed your mind that he might die. But this time it's a certainty, and things are heavier than they'd ever been. If it weren't for Blaine carrying half the weight of it, you would have collapsed under it by now.
But things are different now, for reasons good and for bad. You're sitting at your dying father's bedside and you know these are the final days. Final hours maybe. Blaine's hand fits in your own perfectly, and it's the only thing that's keeping you grounded and keeping you from drifting off, away from this whole thing. You feel like you need to get away from it, but you never want to leave. You want to cherish every single moment you're able to spend with your father before you can't any more.
"Kurt," his voice is weak, but it's enough to pull you back to reality.
"Dad?"
He struggles slightly to sit up. He has to use almost every ounce of strength he has just to pull himself up a little. Your heart breaks. "Kurt," he breathes. "Get your old man some coffee."
"But dad, the nurse said-"
He cuts you off. "I don't care what they said." He coughs. "You can't deny me this one simple pleasure."
"You really shouldn't, she said-"
"Kurt, please." There's something behind his gaze that lets you know that he needs you to do this. You glance to your left to Blaine, and it seems like he's noticed it too. He squeezes your hand to let you know he'll come with you.
"Okay," you say. "We'll be right back." You and Blaine both go to leave, but your dad interjects.
"No," he says. "I want Blaine to stay."
You look between your father and your boyfriend, and you never thought in your life you'd be this lucky and heartbroken at the same time.
"It's fine, Kurt," Blaine says, reassuring you. "I'll wait with him for you." And God, you love this boy.
"Okay," you say quietly, and you give Blaine a quick kiss on the lips before going to leave the room. You pause slightly before making your way out the door to glance back at the two men who've given you everything you've ever needed in life. They both look back at you and smile.
You make your way to walk along the corridor to the coffee machine when you hear your dad's voice use a tone you've very rarely heard.
"Blaine," he says. "Sit closer." You can't see them. You're standing out of sight with your back to the wall, just outside the hospital room. You can hear Blaine move though, and pull the chair closer with a scrape across the ground.
"What's wrong?" you hear Blaine ask. The genuine concern in his voice makes you realise that he's losing someone that he loves here too.
" We don't have much time." You don't know if he means until you come back or until the end. It makes you shiver. "I need to talk to you about Kurt."
He's not. They're not having this conversation. They can't.
But they are.
"Blaine, in a few days…" You know he's trying to think of how to say it out loud. "I'm not gonna be kicking around anymore."
"Burt, you-"
"Blaine, I'm going to die. And soon."
You can hear Blaine sniff, and you realise he's probably crying. You lean your head back against the wall, and slide yourself down it, bringing your knees up to wrap your arms around them. You're close to tears already too.
"I'm sorry," Blaine says, and you don't know if he's apologising for your dad's life ending or crying about it. Probably a little bit of both.
"Kurt's going to need you, okay?" He pauses, and you can see Blaine's face in your mind. His eyes wet and bloodshot, listening intently to everything being said, and nodding in agreement. "You just keep doing what you've been doing, yeah? Kurt loves you more than I can even imagine and I know you love him the same."
"I do," Blaine says. Your heart breaks, and you let the first tears fall.
"Y'know, back in New York, right after I told Kurt, I watched you out on that ice. Telling Kurt was the hardest thing I've had to do. Harder than this. Because just as he was starting to fly, I had to bring him right back down to earth. I just want him to be happy, Blaine. And he is…" He pauses again. "With you."
Blaine chokes out a sob, and you try to stay quiet as you do the same.
"When I watched you out on that ice, even though you hadn't even worked things out between you too yet, it looked right. I could tell that Kurt was at home. Since he's met you, he's been different. He's unsettled without you. He's not at home in Lima, he's not at home in New York, he's only home when he's with you, Blaine."
"And you know what's worse than dying?" You imagine Blaine's shaking his head. "Knowing I'll never watch him marry you." You imagine your wedding day, without your dad there. "Because he will, Blaine. You'll have a wedding, and you'll have kids. And it kills me that I won't be there to see it."
"I wish you could," Blaine says in something between a whisper and a choke.
"Me too, kid. But you gotta promise me something."
"Anything."
"You take care of him for me," your dad says with determination. "You love him through everything. The good, the bad. You do whatever you can to keep him happy. Marry him. Be as good a father to your kids as he'll be. Because he'll be a great father."
"The best," Blaine interrupts, and you can hear the smile in his voice.
"The best father," your dad corrects. "You just promise me that I can leave here and you'll be there to love him as much as he needs and deserves. Can you do that for me?"
"It would be an honour," Blaine replies so honestly, and without hesitation. You hear the chair scrape again, as Blaine moves. When your dad speaks again, his voice is muffled. They're hugging. "You just made a dying man very happy, Blaine."
You can't hold your tears in any longer, so you just let them spill over. You love both of these men so much and you don't know how to show them. You just want to be there with them, you want to hug them, you want to let them know, and then-
"I love you, Burt," Blaine says, quietly. "I don't know if I've ever told you that."
"I love you, too, son."
You can't be alone anymore. You need to be with them. You stand up, and fix the creases in your clothes and wipe your eyes. You try to look like you haven't been crying.
You make your way back into the room and both of their heads snap round at the sound of you entering the room. You see the pain on Blaine's face, and the peace on your dad's.
"Out of coffee, were they?" your dad says, looking at your empty hands, smiling. You completely forgot he'd even asked you. You think of an excuse.
"The machine was broken, I can- I can try the one on the next floor if you-"
"It's fine, Kurt."
"Yeah," Blaine says, looking between you and your dad, his eyes glazed over and contemplative from the conversation he just had. There's the beginning of a slight smile on his face. "It's fine, Kurt."