AN: This is an experimental fanfic. Not sure where I'm going with this, so whatever.
Originally posted on Tumblr. Just thought I'd throw that minutia out there.
As always, I was listening to music when I typed this out.
"It Don't Mean A Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)" by Rosemary Clooney.
Calliope Torres was sober when the left the hospital at the end of a particularly nasty shift. Her patients had lived. It wasn't every day an adult pair of conjoined twins survived being thrown out of a moving train. And it wasn't every day that she got to fix their shattered ribs and re-adjust their spines, in addition to replacing both of their hips, all while keeping in mind the baby one of them was carrying for her 4th month.
Addison had to fly in to help. And it was amazing to see her again. So amazing that she decided to stick around for a few days. Until the twins were conscious again, of course.
"There you are," she smiled at Callie when the Orthopedic surgeon was close enough to hear.
"That's my line," Arizona stated as she appeared from behind the taller woman.
"It's not every day we three get to work together, you know," Dr. Robbins explained, "so I thought Addison should join us for a drink at Joe's."
Sofia was with the McDreamys for the night. She and Zola were starting to get…attached to each other. Callie wondered again how soon it was to guess her child's sexuality. And then she wondered if Meredith and Derek wondered the same thing.
Christina marched past them and into the hospital: trailed by flustered-looking interns who didn't seem like their day was about to get any better.
"But Doctor Yang, I-"
"Shut it, Lisp-worm," she snapped at the man, who began to sniffle.
"I still can't believe she's an Attending now," Addison sighed as they crossed the street.
"I can," Arizona admitted, "she was born to be a surgeon. I can't picture her as anything else. And the dark blue scrubs do wonders for her-"
"Dark blue scrubs will make anyone look hot. It's probably why we're professional than those losers down at Mercy West," Callie remarked.
Addison smirked. No one had complained about her dark purple scrubs. Maybe it was because they were too nervous about the children they were about to push through their vaginas.
Dr. Montgomery had secretly wished she could bump into Derek, but Meredith was standing at the entrance of the hospital when she'd arrived. And it had been worth it to catch up on her former resident-cum-marital-replacement. And the children were adorable.
"So," the brown-haired woman inquired when they were seated and waiting for their drinks, "tell me EVERYTHING, miss 'huuuge fan of penis'."
Arizona burst out laughing, as Callie took a sudden interest in her phone.
"Oh come on," the obstetrician insisted, "I have a right to know."
"What do you wanna know? I have a wife now, big deal."
Arizona turned to face her with a look that said "I'm gonna bludgeon you to death with my prosthetic if you don't explain yourself in the next three seconds, Calliope."
"Big deal, huh?" The blonde said instead.
"I didn't mean it like that," Callie defended.
"Sure sounded like you did," Arizona growled.
"Well I have to say you make the best couple ever," Addison remarked, "and I didn't even have to pretend to be tipsy to say that."
Callie smiled at her wife, who fought back a grin of her own while her dimples struggled to stay hidden.
"Oh come on," the Latina insisted, "you know you want to."
Arizona emitted a super-magic smile and all was right in the world. Or even more right when the brunette doctor leaned over and kissed her wife on the cheek.
"Is that…Kepner?" Arizona asked when the red-head strolled into the pub looking pale.
"Oh Dios Mio," Callie remarked, "she looks like she needs company. And I don't think I've ever seen her in here before."
"I don't know what to order," the high-pitched trauma surgeon admitted when Callie walked over to her.
"Come sit with us, and copy what we drink."
The red-head looked at the table and decided she'd rather be part of a coven than sit awkwardly on a bar stool, thinking about her life. Or what was left of it. Or a certain man with amazing eyes and the audacity to whisk her away from her fiance at her own wedding. Well, to be fair, she joined in that whisking.
And oh, how they whisked.
But the thrill was gone. Not so much that she didn't find him attractive. But lately the sex had felt…like a boring repetitive act with no variation. Like washing dishes, or taking out the trash. A chore.
"Hi," April stated as she seated herself at the table, "you're Doctor Montgomery."
"Addison," the brown-haired woman supplied, "I saw you work the Pit this morning. Awesome job."
"Gee, I…"
Arizona looked from the red-head to the Obstetrician and a thought came to her.
"You're the only single person at this table," the Peds surgeon gasped.
Callie gasped too. "That's not right."
"Oh, trust me ladies. You might not have been to man-town in a while, but it's desolate there."
"And boring," April admitted.
Addison looked at her in surprise. "You're…not gay?"
Arizona laughed even louder. "Oh she's a HUUUUGE fan of penis."
April looked at the older woman in surprise. "Do I…look gay? I mean…there's nothing wrong with being gay it's just…do I…what's the term?"
"Ping my gaydar?" Addison supplied. "Well…kind of. Or maybe it's wishful thinking on my part."
"You wish I was gay?" The high-pitched one asked.
"Honey," Addison lowered her voice and drooped her eyelids, "I wish every attractive woman I meet is gay."
The statement hung in the air. Callie and April thought it meant that there would be less competition for men if other hot women were gay.
Arizona's mind went much farther than that.
"Doctor Montgomery," the blonde raised a glass, "welcome to ladies-town."
Addison smiled meaningfully at the Peds surgeon and raised a glass to her. "To coming out in my late forties."
Callie and April blinked in disbelief.
"You really HAVE lived in LA for too long," the Latina supplied, "but hey: one more member of the team is always a reason to celebrate. Waiter!"
"Is it better?" April suddenly asked when a new round of drinks had arrived.
"What do you mean?" Addison asked.
"Is sex with women…better? I'd ask those two over there but they're biased."
"Hey!" Callie snapped. "My wife is AMAZING in bed. And on tops of tables. And on couches. And in elevators. And on carpets. And in back-seats of cars. And in-"
"Shhh," Arizona whispered in the Latina's ear, "or you won't get any tonight. And I mean it, Calliope."
"But….butbutbutbut…"
"It's different," Addison admitted, "less worry about being dominated and more focus on tenderness."
"Tenderness?"
Arizona and Callie inclined their heads at April.
"I never figured you for a rough-rider," the Latina remarked.
"The screeching must be something else," Arizona laughed.
"Dr Robbins," Addison snapped, "that was a mean thing to say."
"Does my voice…turn people off? Like…I've never had an orgasm before, but…do you think it'd be so bad that I'd kill the mood?"
All the other women at the table were staring wide-eyed at her.
"What do you mean you've never had an orgasm before?"
"Not every woman gets them."
"But every woman is entitled to them," Arizona preached, "whether she gets that from someone else or from herself is beside the point. How could you….no. That's not right."
"I agree," Callie added, "what the hell is Jackson doing?"
"Jackson?" Addison asked.
"Jackson Avery. My husband."
"As in: Harper-Avery?"
"Yes. That."
"Can't give you an orgasm?" Addison added. "Can't give YOU an orgasm? What's wrong with him, is he blind?"
"Oh wow we've had a lot to drink tonight," Arizona stated.
"Another round!" Callie called out to a waiter, who hurried away to make it happen.
"Calliope," the blonde warned her.
"We're taking a cab home. What's the harm?"
"How about we skip the extra round and go somewhere else?" Someone suggested. Someone with a high-pitched voice and red hair.
"Come home with us!" Callie and Arizona chorused. "Sofia is at Meredith and Derek's house tonight and we've got room. And we have aspirin, cos someone's going to be hung over in the morning."
"Addison?" The blonde nudged. "Come on! We'll all ride in to work together tomorrow."
Callie was dancing on the kitchen counter. April was examining Arizona's spare prosthetic leg like it was a rifle at a gun show. Addison was sipping wine and laughing at the scene, while trying to keep her eyes off Kepner.
Arizona was at the door, dealing with the pizza guy and 4 large boxes of their dinner.
"Alright," she declared as she walked into the living room, "grub's up!"
Callie jumped off the counter and landed on the couch, right next to where her wife was standing. And then she pulled her down 'til she was seated and nibbled on her neck.
"Calliope. Food first."
It worked. The smell of the first opened box wafted into the air and caused the semi-tipsy Ortho surgeon to sail towards it.
"What if all women were meant to be gay?" April wondered. "I mean…I wouldn't cheat on Jackson. But what if…what if I'm married to him for the rest of my life and I never get to find out if women make me happier? Gosh…does this make me a horrible person?"
"Everyone questions," Addison admitted, "and sometimes it's just curiosity. But there's nothing wrong with thinking about it."
"Have you ever kissed a girl?" Callie asked April.
"No," April admitted. "I almost did once in high school, but that doesn't count."
"I've done more than just kissed one, if you know what I mean," Addison smiled.
"What does it…feel like?"
Arizona and Callie watched them both. What would happen next? Would they allow it to? The way both women were looking at each other was…would have been okay if one of them wasn't married.
"It feels like…" Arizona supplied, "like kissing the softest part of your palm."
"Really?"
"Well that's not how I'd put it," Callie argued. "It's like licking your own lips, but softer."
"My lips are softer than hers," the Peds surgeon agreed, "but her lips are fuller than mine, so…"
"But palms are hard," the Ortho surgeon argued, "my lips are full and luscious and smooshy."
"Is kissing cheating?" April asked her pizza slice.
"YES!" The married couple in the room chorused.
"No," Addison stated, without looking away from the red-head.
"I don't think it is," April looked up from her slice at Addison.
"LOOK!" Arizona shouted suddenly, "this is what it looks like!"
She turned Callie's head to face her and they kissed like they were in heat. April and Addison watched, transfixed, as their hostesses writhed across the room.
Callie's hands roamed her wife's body, and settled on her breasts. Arizona pulled away from the embrace.
"We have an audience, Calliope."
"I know," the Latina smiled, and kissed her again.
"Should we…um…leave?" April asked.
"No!" The other two chorused, as they sat up.
"Listen," Arizona started, "I know this is weird. And none of our business, but…you and Jackson are like…awesome. You're not just awesome. You're our friends, which makes you super awesome."
"I think what she's trying to say is," Callie explained, "you two are into each other. Like lady-boner dripping wet come hither let's slither into each other. And we…don't think we can trust you two to leave together. Or leave apart, come to think of it."
"You think we'd take things beyond where they are now?" Addison asked.
"Don't you…want to?" April half-whisper-asked.
"Yes I do. I really, really do. But you're married. And everyone in this room, I suspect, knows what it's like to be cheated on. I…I can't break up another marriage. Tempting though it might be. But I have fantasies. Lots and lots of fantasies. About what I could do to you. It's not wrong to linger on them, right?"
"Tell me," the red-head's voice got huskier, and the wives raised their eyebrows at the sound of it.
"Tell you?"
"What one of the fantasies are."
"So you can spice up your married life?" Addison asked. "I think that would be mutually beneficial."
"Should we…um…go?" Callie asked. Arizona squeezed her thigh. It meant 'no'.
"Actually," Addison turned to face them both, "I think you're the only two people in this room who can do things to each other without being guilty of doing anything wrong."
"You want us to…act them out?" Callie raised a cheeky eyebrow. Arizona saw it, and bit her earlobe. That meant 'yes'.
Maybe I'll post another chapter. Maybe, just maybe.
Also: Yes, Arizona's giving her wife the 'Calliope' treatment. We're not going to hear it on the show for a while, so I'll knock myself out, thank you very much. And if you need to listen to it ad nauseum, here (youtube): watch?v=PopXyQpTh2c