A/N: I haven't been on Fanfiction for an extended period of time, due to a combination of work, community programs, and watching Adventure Time. I am using Adventure Time as my muse while I brainstorm for my other stories.

Each Chapter may or may not be episodic in nature and may or may not loosely relate to each other. I'm not really planning for an overarching storyline. I'm really just writing about anything that comes to mind for each chapter and my only aim really is to keep everyone as in character as possible. So, suggestions for an "Episode" are most welcome. Needless to say, I own nothing of Adventure Time. Belongs to Pendleton Ward, Cartoon Network, and any of those other people that are distinctly not me.

Fridge Logic

Storing food in the refrigerator seems like a moot point when your whole abode is made up of frozen water. Ice everywhere. But then again, it's only sanitary to keep your food contained in one area.

"But then again, it wouldn't really make a difference if I just threw the food in a corner, right?" The aged wizard scratched at his chin, blocked by huge tufts of white hair.

"Hmm..." Ice King hummed in thought. Should he throw out the fridge? His white eyes roamed the expanse of his kitchen area with a critical...eye. Four corners, ice everywhere...was the fridge the only thing in this room? Huh...

"Nah, it keeps the feng shui flowin' in this room," he decided with a confident nod. "Whatever that means." Closing the fridge door, and totally forgetting what he even went to the fridge for, he turned on his heel back into the living room. Once he crossed the threshold, the scenery looked pretty much the same, save for his drum set in a far off corner, his customary prison for when princesses stop by (totally of their free will), his lucky recliner, and his weight lifting gear.

Ice King sighed loudly. A drawn out, clearly obnoxious kind of sigh that oozed entitlement.

"Bored," the old man declared with half lidded eyes. He strutted over to his recliner nd seated himself, making a show of changing positions every five or so seconds.

"Gunther!" he called, his voice projected after cupping his hands around his mouth. There wasn't an immediate response, but after a few seconds, a muffled shuffle could be heard, steadily increasing in volume, until it was not so muffled, but still kind of quiet.

"Wenk."

In another doorway stood a penguin, a steaming bowl in one of his/her's/it's flippers.

"What's there to do around here, Gunther? I'm bored outta my mind, here." Ice King had settled on sitting sideways on his recliner, allowing his feet to dangle off one of the arms. He slowly swung his feet idly.

"Wenk."

"Whaddya' mean 'figure it out'?" the old Wizard asked sarcastically, complete with air quotes. "Why do ya think i'm asking you?" This time the penguin remained silent and settled on a shrug.

"Hrrmph..." Ice King sounded, unimpressed. "Well...wanna help me write the next volume of my Fionna and Cake fanfiction? Eh? Eeeh?"

Gunther was apparently not flattered by Ice King's eyebrow wiggle since he replied with a deadpan "Wenk."

"Spoilsport," he muttered in reply under his breath. Then his eyes widened in sudden realization. "Wait a minute. I just thought of something!" he declared, jumping out of his chair and dismounting on his feet.

"Four, four, four," he chanted quietly to himself. Book...Hmmm..." Ice King stroked his giant beard, his scattered thoughts catching onto something.

"Wenk?"

"I think I've figured out how to bring Fionna to life. For reals this time!" He began to pace back and forth, the idea sounding more and more solid with each passing second. "That's it! Gunther, fetch me my fanfic!"

A thick book sailed through the air, smacking him dead center in the face, and landed into his hands. The fact that Gunther threw the book at him didn't seem to bother him in the least. "Yes, yes, excellent," he said almost obsessively while gently caressing the cover of his book. After placing it within the folds of his robe, he inclined his head toward his loyal non-human bro.

"Gunther, you're head of the house while i'm gone." He then prepared to climb out of the window, before hastily adding. "And no House Parties!"

As he flew out the window, he continued to mumble, complaining of the sheer number of broken bottles he'd found the last time he left Gunther in charge.

The flight to his Turbros' tree fort didn't take long at all. Seriously, they're only about a football stadium length away from Ice King's home. His beard ceased it's flapping once he was a safe height from the ground, landing into a squat and recovering quickly.

"Yep. Bending the knees when landing is always good," he said, tapping his bottom lip. "Now where did they put that thing..?" Ice King began to aimlessly stroll around Finn and Jake's front yard. "Wizard eyes, do your thing. You can spot a wand thing, can't you? A-ha!"

He looked every which way, finally spotting a discarded shovel. After grabbing it and returning to his spot at the yard, he began to dig. His bros must not have been home, because he was fairly certain he'd been digging for at least half an hour. His stray thought was interrupted by the sound of the shovel colliding with wood, producing a loud Thunk sound.

"The thought cannon..." he announced in awe, beside himself with excitement. "With this item, I can make Fionna real! Ha ha!" Ice King began to break into mad laughter, his shoulders jerking up and down, tears of joy threatening to leak out of their ducts.

With care, Ice King attempted to heft the object up, forgetting that his arms weren't as strong as they used to be. He looked at the area around the giant wand for a moment before shrugging. He wiggled his fingers, launching powerful arcs of ice from their tips towards the ground, creating a lift of sorts for the Thought Cannon. Once enough ice was formed, the Thought Cannon rolled to a stop on the surface at the wizard's feet.

"Think of my perfect match, hee hee..!" Ice King coached himself, placing his hands on the wand.

"ICE KING!"

"Huh?"

"Eat foot!"

An object came crashing into his nose, eliciting a pained gasp as he stumbled backwards and fell. Rubbing the now tender spot on his nose, he looked up to see a mildly annoyed Finn and Jake, their miffed expressions making them look more like irritated parents than warriors at the moment.

"Would it kill ya to go for the arm next time or something? I'm under the impression you're biased against my nose," Ice King scolded.

Finn's brows lowered ever more in annoyance.

"What the flip, man? You can't just go into our yard and dig up dangerous weapons!"

"Yeah, dude, don't make us file a restraining order," Jake added, paws on his hips.

"What!? C'mon, man, i'm just tryin to get my wish granted s'all!"

Seeing that Ice King wasn't about to make a move to attack them, the human boy's expression softened into a neutral wariness. "What kind of wish?" he asked, not that he was that overly curious or anything.

"To make Fionna and Cake real."

Jake shook his head, his jowls trailing lazily behind in their movements. "You're probably just gonna end up with a sandwich," he dismissed. "And what is up with you and those stories, man?"

"Please, guys, just let me do this one thing, and I'll be outta your hairs!"

Human and Dog bros shared a glance, a whole conversation playing out in the span of only a second.

Finn sighed in response to Jake's nod. He turned his attention to the old man. "Go ahead, Ice King," he allowed, albeit reluctantly. Ice King's smile was both endearing and kind of annoying at the same time.

"Heere we go," he said, once again placing his hands on the wand.

A flash of light, blinding all three of them momentarily.

Once they were all able to see again, surprise was definitely etched on all of their faces.

"Oh no..." Ice King muttered in mute horror.

An unconscious woman lay sprawled face down on the ground.

Finn and Jake slowly backed away towards the house without facing the tree fort.

"Wait, where ya guys' goin?"

"Nothing. Nothing. Just uh...keeping safe distance."

Jake nodded once, neither he nor Finn having blinked once. "Yes," he simply said. The both of them were now behind the doorway, and the door shut with a thud.

"Oh, boy..." Ice King muttered. Not out of excitement, but muted exasperation.

The Ice Queen still hadn't moved from the ground yet.

As Finn was pulled along by Jake as he stretched to the next floor of the tree house, Finn wondered why the Thought Cannon didn't produce a sandwich like last time. He felt a bit bad for leaving Ice King like that, but if that unconscious woman was who they thought it was (they were at least 55% sure), then they didn't want to be nearby when she awakened.

"Do you think we should like, help him, though?" Finn asked regardless.

"Nope," was his companion's instant reply.

The boy shrugged with his free arm, even though Jake most likely didn't notice the gesture.

Ice King sighed, his shoulders sagging in apparent melancholy.

"She's not even my type."